OLW

Ollie08

@Beanbot2002 I've kinda missed it here too!!!!!! Also, boobie smushing sounds awesome!!

Elle1036

@ollie08 - Thanks!  I'm really excited to be learning something new.  Especially something so exciting!  I'm definitely going to keep posting about it as I start my solo classes.

@suzie211 - CUTE!  I love them both!  I'm like you -- I can have a closet full of stuff, but I only want to wear new things.

beanbot2002

I have another one:

Dear Co-worker:

Yes, I am certain that there is only 1 baby in there, just as I was certain that there was only 1 baby with Bean 11 years ago when you asked. I know that part of this is just cultural and that German folk are just naturally blunt, but I already feel like a whale. Can you stop asking me if I'm certain that there is only 1 and if I'm certain that my due date isn't until March. You upset me 11 years ago, and you're upsetting me again.

No love,

Thank you, I realize I'm massive.

CASK85

Dear Lab, 

Y U SO COLD?? 

No love, 

freezing 

audrewuh

Dear @swazzle, @buddysmom80, and @hummingbird125,

I haz the jealousies. Maybe facetime me in? I'm good at day drinking too!

Love, 

Lonely Audrewuh

----------------------------------------------------

@cu97tiger,

ALL THE UTERUS VIBES!!! Hang in there!

All my love and vibes,

Girl who wants all of her friends to be KTFU 

-----------------------------------------------------

Dear BFF,

I cannot wait to meet your daughter in the next few days! I'm going to try my hardest to be the best godmother. I didn't think our friendship could be stronger, but I'm glad it is. I hope to be there with a camera to catch your H's face the first time he sees baby after being at sea for so long. He's almost stateside!

Hugs,

Your excited and hopeful BFF

---------------------------------------------------

Dear apartment,

Hunt yourself. H is stressing out and I don't even care anymore. I'm so over living in shitholes, but it looks like I'll be at it again for yet another year. 

Frustrated

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Boston,

Please come sooner than expected. I'm ready to just be with you already, but I know it's not smart to go without a job. 

Stay classy,

Sad and longing

phira

cschiano said:

Dear Lab, 

Y U SO COLD?? 

No love, 

freezing 

OKAY RIGHT. Why is this ALWAYS a thing with labs?!

Dear students,

So that's two discussions in a row where clearly no one prepared the paper. No one emailed me with questions about the paper, so I've been assuming you all prepared it nice and well. So imagine my surprise when everyone is confused about how the methods work, and when NO ONE has thought to go through and determine the goals/results of each figure. Even after I asked you to do that in preparation for discussion.

Sincerely,

Someone who is intentionally writing a quiz for next week that she knows you'll all bomb

Dear photographer we're meeting with tonight,

We are really looking forward to meeting with you! Based on your work and based on our email communications, we have a feeling we're going to pick you. We liked the person we met with on Monday, but I think you'll end up being better suited to our craziness.

Best,

Probably a client

Dear Bertucci's,

I am going to eat you.

Love,

Someone who has a year to get in shape to fit into that dress

Dear friend,

I feel like you are annoyed with me because you haven't replied to anything in a while. I hope you don't feel like I've only talked to you when I want a ride to stuff; I ALWAYS appreciate when you give me rides and NEVER assume that you SHOULD give me one. But I miss you and I hope we can hang out soon. I really want to meet up and see how your pregnancy is going!

Love,

Friend

Blue & White

Weather,

Please stop this shiznat.  We're supposed to go to the mountains for Thanksgiving and I am NOT GOING if it's going to snow 3 feet!  My Civic simply will not survive the devastation of that much snow.

-My Car is so Short!

Divergent,

Why March 21?  That is SO FAR AWAY! 

-Tris's Real Life BFF

Weather,

We're going south for the winter, south for the winter this year....

- This is So Exciting and So Scary all at Once!

Mom,

You need to stop ignoring my phone calls in the morning.  I totally hear your voicemail and think "Hi, you have reached your mother.  I'm ignoring your call right now but will probably not call you back.  Please try again."  Even though I know you're like...at the dentist or picking up dad's BFF from the airport.  Details.

-YOUR FAVORITE DAUGHTER (just don't tell the other two)

Sis,

I love your idea for my bach party.  I really hope that we can get 10 people to go so we don't have to share the room with strangers, but eh, let's go paint.  And drink wine.  And eat chocolate?  Yes...

-Other Sis

Dear Wedding,

I know it seems like I'm ignoring you, but really we're not.  Food tasting on Tuesday, woot woot! 

-I can't believe @southernpeach89 is gonna be married before I even have my centerpieces picked out!

suzie211

cu97tiger said:

tuarceatha,

WTF with the sn change. JenJenniferF was so easssyyyyy. Don't worry about last weekend. I ended up running around like crazy and being too tired to stop yawning (even at 1p in the afternoon) so I wouldn't have been much fun. Let's get together soon, though, mmmkay?

Love,

Tiger

=====

Dear @suzie211,

Your sn should totally be suzie911... but only cause that made me giggle for some reason. I love the new dresses, and thanks for the ute vibes. 

Love,

Tiger

=====

Dear Ollie08,

Good to see you! And now, off to raid my employee's chocolate bowl. DAMN YOU

Love,

Chocoholic

I like it!  It makes me think I'd b paged like "Suzie to the rescue!"

suzie211

I haz more:

Dear FB,

I'm glad for my thankful friends.  I'm thankful, too; for wine.  Well that, and the sexy times that follow me drinking all the wine.  Not sure my FB is ready for that info.

Sincerely,

Bring on the wine

Dear winkles,

I'm going to blame you on my love of wine.  Thank you Huff Post for giving me a reason to be old and wrinkly.  I will never abandon my grapes.

Signed,

Needs wine to survive

Huff post said this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/13/hangover-skin-prevent_n_4256427.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

minskat30

suzie211 said:

I haz more:

Dear FB,

I'm glad for my thankful friends.  I'm thankful, too; for wine.  Well that, and the sexy times that follow me drinking all the wine.  Not sure my FB is ready for that info.

Sincerely,

Bring on the wine

Dear winkles,

I'm going to blame you on my love of wine.  Thank you Huff Post for giving me a reason to be old and wrinkly.  I will never abandon my grapes.

Signed,

Needs wine to survive

Huff post said this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/13/hangover-skin-prevent_n_4256427.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Well, crap.  I'm screwed then.

tuarceatha

@Ollie08 Internet says it is not you, unless you are trying to get me to go to Disneyworld?

@cu97tiger I realize now that it is not an easy sn. oh well. Why wouldn't they let you be Tiger??

[Deleted User]

dear enmeshed family members,

I seriously can't deal with you.  quit asking me questions about how much my bills, taxes, mortgage, etc. is.  little brother is not financially, mentally, or emotionally ready to buy a house.  he makes less than half of what we bring home, so why are you as parents trying to talk him into buying a house that is bigger and more expensive than the one we have?  it's 40% of his take-home budget.  HE WILL HAVE $100 LEFT AT THE END OF EACH MONTH after bills to buy gas (not enough for a truck) and anything else he needs.

THIS IS STUPID AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

just in the past month he has made plans to: A) move to Hawaii.  buy a house with horses and land.  C) move to Japan for 6 months to teach English.  D) quit his job and grad school.

DOES THIS SOUND EMOTIONALLY/MENTALLY READY FOR A HUGE COMMITMENT?

and why are you making all the phone calls and handling it all for him?  SERIOUSLY.  I can't stand the enmeshment anymore.

you must be paying for part of it, or handling his bills.  YOU STILL PAY FOR HIS PHONE BILL FOR GOD'S SAKE.  you handle his money and savings! 

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

can't even handle this,
Coco (who used to be forced to do little bro's homework up until he was in high school because parents didn't want him to make bad grades...  see a pattern here people??)

P.S.  this is the same little brother who can't manage to bathe or brush his teeth consistently, whose mother still does his laundry and caters meals according to his picky tastes, and hasn't done his hair in years.  oh, and he is also morbidly obese and seriously abusive (physically and verbally) to anyone and everyone, he doesn't even care to hide it.

big sis is getting really annoyed.

Blue & White

@cocobellaf and @bubbles053009 *hugs* You both sound like you need it dealing with parents that don't know how to let go.  Sometimes you have to let others make their own mistakes, but it sucks when it's family

phira

Dear @CocobellaF's parents,

TIME TO CUT THE FUCKING CORD.

Signed,

a concerned citizen

cu97tiger

@tuarceatha (Did I get that right??)

Apparently I didn't have a good enough reason for wanting to change my sn. What did you tell @knotporscha @knotporsha to get her to change yours?

I want @Tiger!!

[Deleted User]

Hey, @cu97tiger - that name was already taken in our system.

GoldenPenguin

Dear BF,

I am SO happy we had our little talk the other night. I feel fabulous about things, and I now am positive everything will happen in it's own time (just not five years from now.)

I have that ring picture ready whenever you'd like to see it. You just say the word.

All the loves. Forever & ever.

GF

*************

Dear Liv,

Why you not tell me you were drinking wine last night?? You know I love long distance wine fests!

PS I want tattoo consultations too, please & thank you.

Love,

Spicebush

***************

Dear @buddysmom80,

I effing love your face. 

That's all.

ME.

***************

Dear @swazzle,

Come back to me. I need sisser time. And PLL. RIGHT MEOW.

Love,

Your sisser

**************

Dear Snow,

Why aren't you here yettttt??? Western NY got you. Maine got you. Why not meeeee?? 

Love,

Screw all you anti-winter bitches. Live in the Northeast = learn to love it. Or move. You southern chicks have a valid gripe. 

buddysmom80

Dear @brisox81,

I love your face too!!!!!! We need to plan another weekend again! I had so much fun!!!!

Andplusalso did you see that Alex & Ani have penguin bracelets now??? I told BF to put that on the Christmas list asap.

GoldenPenguin

@buddysmom80 WHAT WHAT WHAAAATTT??! OMG I can't wait to go order one.

********

Dear BriSox,

STOP BUYING YOURSELF SHIT. It's almost Christmas, ya big jerk.

Love,

LaBBQ

labro

Dear Fucking Awful Apartment Complex that I no longer rent from,

Thank you for FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY crediting us our money back. HOLY SHIT I hate you so much but it is such a relief to see that money as a credit rather than a debit on BF's credit card statement.

No love ever, that bitch who just wouldn't leave you alone until she got her money back

P.S. I really really really hate you! I also left you the most shitastic review on Yelp that I could think of. Also, I hate you and I hope you take all those other 1 star reviews that EVERYONE else has left you to heart and have a serious Come to Jesus moment and get your fucking act together because YOU SUCK!

~~~

Dear @BriSox81 ,

Thanks for admitting us southern ladies do have a valid gripe. It's effing cold here right now! But I do hope you get some snow! I think snow's fun too...as long as it doesn't stick around anyway. I kind of want it to snow at some point this year so I can AW pictures of Cinders playing in it.

minskat30

@BriSox81 - I admit it, I'm a whiner when it comes to winter (and live in the Midwest).  Its not so much the cold or the snow but the ice.  My big crazy dog is, well, big and crazy and decides to try out speed skating anytime there is ice on the ground.  Oh the bruises I expect to come from this winter = not fun.

@lmhollister - I'm glad you got your deposit back, I remember your post about their BS reasons why you weren't getting it back.

@cu97tiger - I'm also wishing you all the luck for baby making.   

GoldenPenguin

Dear @lmhollister,

I'll admit that part of my desire for snow is because I know how much Violet LOVES it, and I can't wait to take her out & play in it Christmas in Maine is going to be SO MUCH FUN.

Love,

SnowDoggy Mommy

tuarceatha

cu97tiger said:

@tuarceatha (Did I get that right??)

Apparently I didn't have a good enough reason for wanting to change my sn. What did you tell @knotporscha @knotporsha to get her to change yours?

I want @Tiger!!

That's (the new) me!

loves2shop4shoes

Dear Universe,

I'm in a bad place right now.  I'm working on being more positive and fighting through this, but it's really tough. 

Signed,
Girl who is really tired of asking for the same thing and is really trying
---

Dear Self,

Try to stay positive and motivated.  You can do this.  And frankly, you have to.  You don't have a choice.

Love,
It's time for tough love, princess

---

Dear DH,

I'm sorry I scared you yesterday.  I just really needed to let you know where I was at emotionally.  I DO love you very much, and we WILL get through this, together.  Because that's what we do.

Thank you for being my best friend, my supporter, the love of my life, and my forever cuddler.

Your wife
-----

Dear Animal Shelter,

I can't wait until you process my volunteer application.  I know I'll have a ton of fun helping out with the animals.  And it'll be a great way to burn off steam.

Love,
Creepy lady who shows up all the time just to play with the animals
---

Dear Brother,

Thank you for pulling strings at your company to get me an informational interview.  Your support means so much to me.

Love,
Sister
---

Dear @cu97tiger,

I think about you every day.  And I pray that you'll have a uterus tenant SOON, with as little stress and pain along the way as possible.

You and Mr. Wildcat deserve a LO.  You will be AMAZING parents.  I look up to you SO much, and have the utmost respect for you.  There is literally not an aspect of your personhood, or your life, that I do not admire.

You WILL get there, and when you do, that baby will be SO lucky to have you for a mother.

I love you, always,

Shoes

Swazzle

@buddysmom80 & @hummingbird125 - YAY! Agave again or do we want to try somewhere new?

@minskat30 - OUCH! That sounds so painful Happy early birthday!

@Peaseblossom55 - Thank you!

@cu97tiger - Thanks! I really, really, really want to come down there for a visit. Let's text/FB chat and find a date that works for everyone! I can't wait for Baby Tigers

@Ollie08 - I will ALWAYS say your name ahhh-lee whether you like it or not! I miss your face and I'm so glad you're back! 

@audrewuh - The East Coast misses you. Come back!

@CocoBellaF - HUGS. All the hugs. 

@BriSox81 - We need a facetime immediately. PLL is SO far away (  And you shut your hoar mouth about the snow. STAY AWAY SNOW, STAY FAR AWAY! 

minskat30

Thanks, @swazzle.  As to the injury, lots of Bengay is making people avoid me on the Subway...even the crazy people so I guess I'm thankful for that. 

@loves2shop4shoes - The universe WILL send you good things.   

Hummingbird125

@swazzle - tough call. I love trying new places BUT agave was so good and quick with the refills. I'll do some research this week and see if I find anything

cu97tiger

KnotPorscha said:

Hey, @cu97tiger - that name was already taken in our system.

@knotporscha - that makes sense, except that when you click on @Tiger, you get a message saying user not found?

@loves2shop4shoes - seriously, you say the nicest things to me!

@swazzle - Ok, let's find a weekend! Yay!

loves2shop4shoes

cu97tiger said:

@loves2shop4shoes - seriously, you say the nicest things to me!

@swazzle - Ok, let's find a weekend! Yay!

I only say it because I mean it.

loves2shop4shoes

cu97tiger said:

@loves2shop4shoes - seriously, you say the nicest things to me!

@swazzle - Ok, let's find a weekend! Yay!

I only say it because I mean it.