...and this is why I'm here.

JustNicki

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/calling-all-ridiculous-etiquette-rules-you-have-heard/a552ca41864439f3.html?page=1
No. Just no.

photokitty

So far they haven't written anything too out of line - except calling us bitches on here.

Printing labels for the STD and even the invites is a victimless crime. You should hand write the invite addresses, but the post office being able to read them is more important and really doesn't affect how you host your guests.

They are misquoting the plus one run - etiquette wise at least.

Most of the other gripes are actually just how a random family member is being rude themselves and calling it etiquette.

I have no idea where Bridal Guide magazine gets off saying - No matter your budget, your guests will be insulted if you do not have an open bar all night. 

Assuming they quoted that correctly, but I'm guessing they didn't!

JustNicki

It just rankled me that it quickly escalated into people complaining about TK. It's like, they got all butthurt and left, but they have to be so vocal about it everywhere else.

Maggie0829

photokitty said:

So far they haven't written anything too out of line - except calling us bitches on here.

Printing labels for the STD and even the invites is a victimless crime. You should hand write the invite addresses, but the post office being able to read them is more important and really doesn't affect how you host your guests.

They are misquoting the plus one run - etiquette wise at least.

Most of the other gripes are actually just how a random family member is being rude themselves and calling it etiquette.

I have no idea where Bridal Guide magazine gets off saying - No matter your budget, your guests will be insulted if you do not have an open bar all night. 

Assuming they quoted that correctly, but I'm guessing they didn't!

I read that piece of etiquette, like the couple had an open bar for an hour or two and then it switched to a cash bar.  Which is rude.  But if the magazine was saying how guests will be pissed if you don't have a full open bar (meaning liquor as well as beer and wine) at your wedding, then that is ridiculous.

jenniferurs

Wait, what? It's rude to use labels?

Maggie0829

jenniferurs said:

Wait, what? It's rude to use labels?

Yes.  Per etiquette you should hand write the addresses on wedding correspondence.  But using labels is really a victimless crime because no one will really get butt hurt if they receive an invite addressed with a label versus addressed by hand.  Addressing by hand just adds a little extra personal touch.

photokitty

Maggie0829 said:

photokitty said:

So far they haven't written anything too out of line - except calling us bitches on here.

Printing labels for the STD and even the invites is a victimless crime. You should hand write the invite addresses, but the post office being able to read them is more important and really doesn't affect how you host your guests.

They are misquoting the plus one run - etiquette wise at least.

Most of the other gripes are actually just how a random family member is being rude themselves and calling it etiquette.

I have no idea where Bridal Guide magazine gets off saying - No matter your budget, your guests will be insulted if you do not have an open bar all night. 

Assuming they quoted that correctly, but I'm guessing they didn't!

I read that piece of etiquette, like the couple had an open bar for an hour or two and then it switched to a cash bar.  Which is rude.  But if the magazine was saying how guests will be pissed if you don't have a full open bar (meaning liquor as well as beer and wine) at your wedding, then that is ridiculous.

Totally rude! But a dry or limited bar sans cash bar, is totally acceptable. Hoping the magazine was clear and that chick just needs some reading comprehension help!

KatWAG

JustNicki said:

It just rankled me that it quickly escalated into people complaining about TK. It's like, they got all butthurt and left, but they have to be so vocal about it everywhere else.

I only saw one person make a reference to TK.

southernbelle0915

Technically it IS against etiquette to use labels, but IMO it's not hurting anyone. I printed directly on the envelope. Guilty, I guess.

As far as the bar goes, just host what you (general you) can afford. If you can't afford to host alcohol, don't have it. Dry weddings are totally cool etiquette wise. If you can but can't afford the full open bar, beer and wine and/or signature drink is totally within etiquette.

I agree with Maggie - switching from open to cash bar isn't only rude, it's confusing for guests. I'd be totally confused and embarrassed if the bartender was like, "that'll be $6" and I'd be all "but... 5 minutes ago..? uh, hold on (fumbles back to seat to look for cash)" If there was a sign that said they'd switch to cash bar, I'd just order double drinks and keep them at my table.

cowgirl8238

KatWAG said:

JustNicki said:

It just rankled me that it quickly escalated into people complaining about TK. It's like, they got all butthurt and left, but they have to be so vocal about it everywhere else.

I only saw one person make a reference to TK.

On the second page there were three more references. In a nut shell they think we are all bitches over here because we don't blow sunshine up their asses and break all the "rules" becuase they're special. I think my favorite post was the one where the woman wrote:

"I disagree with the the whole plus one idea. The only people who are getting a date are those who are married or engaged. A few of our friends get a date, but thats only because we are also friends with their gf/bf. But if we don't know your S/o, sorry no date.
Also only one invite per household- not going to waste the money to send 4 invites to family just because their adult children failed to launch.
We are doing a dollar dance.
We are doing a honeyfund.
We are doing an online RSVP
We are allowing the bartender to put out a tip jar.
Also no one under 21 is getting an invite and any who responds with an extra person on the RSVP will be told no (not that these are against etiquette)"

Just can't even think about how horrible her wedding will be.

NYCBruin

cowgirl8238 said:

KatWAG said:

JustNicki said:

It just rankled me that it quickly escalated into people complaining about TK. It's like, they got all butthurt and left, but they have to be so vocal about it everywhere else.

I only saw one person make a reference to TK.

On the second page there were three more references. In a nut shell they think we are all bitches over here because we don't blow sunshine up their asses and break all the "rules" becuase they're special. I think my favorite post was the one where the woman wrote:

"I disagree with the the whole plus one idea. The only people who are getting a date are those who are married or engaged. A few of our friends get a date, but thats only because we are also friends with their gf/bf. But if we don't know your S/o, sorry no date.
Also only one invite per household- not going to waste the money to send 4 invites to family just because their adult children failed to launch.
We are doing a dollar dance.
We are doing a honeyfund.
We are doing an online RSVP
We are allowing the bartender to put out a tip jar.
Also no one under 21 is getting an invite and any who responds with an extra person on the RSVP will be told no (not that these are against etiquette)"

Just can't even think about how horrible her wedding will be.

Yeah, I was  nodding my head with most of the first page (plus ones for truly single guests, address labels, etc.) and then I saw that train wreck.  Yikes!

Amyzen83

Wow just wow! If people don't like tk fine but don't call us bitches just because we care about people and don't condone your special snowflakeness and I'm as fricken open minded as they come!

NYCBruin

Amyzen83 said:

Wow just wow! If people don't like tk fine but don't call us bitches just because we care about people and don't condone your special snowflakeness and I'm as fricken open minded as they come!

These types of comments always make me chuckle.  I never got how pointing out that a bride's actions may end up hurting someone's feelings makes us bitches.  But then again I don't get most of the ideas the snowflakes come here with.

Amyzen83

Btw previous wedding wire brides wedding sounds like a train wreck amazed the judgy bitch has friends w the way she talks about her guests

KatWAG

cowgirl8238 said:

KatWAG said:

JustNicki said:

It just rankled me that it quickly escalated into people complaining about TK. It's like, they got all butthurt and left, but they have to be so vocal about it everywhere else.

I only saw one person make a reference to TK.

On the second page there were three more references. In a nut shell they think we are all bitches over here because we don't blow sunshine up their asses and break all the "rules" becuase they're special. I think my favorite post was the one where the woman wrote:

"I disagree with the the whole plus one idea. The only people who are getting a date are those who are married or engaged. A few of our friends get a date, but thats only because we are also friends with their gf/bf. But if we don't know your S/o, sorry no date.
Also only one invite per household- not going to waste the money to send 4 invites to family just because their adult children failed to launch.
We are doing a dollar dance.
We are doing a honeyfund.
We are doing an online RSVP
We are allowing the bartender to put out a tip jar.
Also no one under 21 is getting an invite and any who responds with an extra person on the RSVP will be told no (not that these are against etiquette)"

Just can't even think about how horrible her wedding will be.

Wow, I did not see that one. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that wedding.

ETA: word fail.

photokitty

The page layout is enough to make me glad I'm on TK and not over there. I love the clean easy to read layout over here. 

climbingsingle

That's OK - I'll wear the title of bitch proudly! At least I'm not having a tacky wedding. 

phira

I frequent WW, mostly out of boredom. It's quite mind-blowing. They hate TheKnot a lot.

Ven&Radio

Wait, what? It's rude to use labels?

I'm one of the people who gets riles up when people bring up using labels on wedding stationary. First of all, they make your invitation/std/ty card look like spam rather than something that's worth my time to open. Furthermore, address labels have limited space. If you can't fit the names of ALL invited parties, they're a bad idea. Last year we received an invite to H's cousin's wedding that used a lable. It had my H's name on it only. I was pissed because we'd known about the wedding for months, I'd already bought a new dress, etc. Turns out, I was invited, but after we inquired a myriad of excuses were slung at us ranging from a friend did the addressing for the couple to there wasn't room on the label to we didn't know your last name (you couldn't ask us or H's mom??). It was all total bullshit and made me feel like I wasn't really wanted at the wedding.

ohannabelle

"somebody go post this thread on the knot please!! lol lets stir those bitches up!" Sorry, somehow I'm just not all stirred up. This is just childish and dumb. Maybe if there were a couple of commas in there, and an apostrophe....nope. It would still be childish and dumb. They should retitle that thread "Y eddicut is stoopid lol and only 4 bitches."

NYCBruin

ohannabelle said:

"somebody go post this thread on the knot please!! lol lets stir those bitches up!" Sorry, somehow I'm just not all stirred up. This is just childish and dumb. Maybe if there were a couple of commas in there, and an apostrophe....nope. It would still be childish and dumb. They should retitle that thread "Y eddicut is stoopid lol and only 4 bitches."

Haha.  Seriously.  Especially given that 95% of the rules they were complaining about are ones people regularly dismiss on TK as either not true or not a huge deal.

smalfrie19

Speaking of ridiculous etiquette "rules" my aunt FLIPPED on me this weekend because I want to have assigned tables and called me rude and selfish for wanting to have a sweetheart table because in her words my bridal party "pays all that money to have dinner with us"......SERIOUSLY!?!

Amyzen83

So I've been designing the invitations for my sisters wedding and throughout her planning there were many points in which etiquette was being breached and these were in areas that matter most I discovered wedding wire is where her site is being hosted and I was thinking "figures" they practically encourage and pander to the princessy snowflake bridezillas

Inkdancer

Can I just hug everyone here on the TK Etiquette board? You are not b-words, you are lovely people. I would much rather have some honesty up front and no hurt feelings in the end! Reading your responses to others' dilemmas has already helped me be more considerate, and my wedding is still 10 months away.

NYCBruin

smalfrie19 said:

Speaking of ridiculous etiquette "rules" my aunt FLIPPED on me this weekend because I want to have assigned tables and called me rude and selfish for wanting to have a sweetheart table because in her words my bridal party "pays all that money to have dinner with us"......SERIOUSLY!?!

WTF?  When I'm in a wedding, I love when the couple has a sweetheart table because it means I can sit with people I know and don't have to awkwardly look at a crowd while I eat...

ohannabelle

I like hand addressed things as well, but I won't get all bent out of shape about it. The fact is, wedding invitations are such pretty things. I know people say it doesn't matter and most people don't care, or pay attention. I do. It's like getting a little present in the mail, so I take the time to admire your stationary and oooh and ahhh over your pretty design and admire your choice of font, and I put it on the piano and admire it when I walk by. I love pretty things. If you take the time to write my name, I enjoy it even more. So there you are. It is just a nice thing to do for your guests.

mysticl

ohannabelle said:

I like hand addressed things as well, but I won't get all bent out of shape about it. The fact is, wedding invitations are such pretty things. I know people say it doesn't matter and most people don't care, or pay attention. I do. It's like getting a little present in the mail, so I take the time to admire your stationary and oooh and ahhh over your pretty design and admire your choice of font, and I put it on the piano and admire it when I walk by. I love pretty things. If you take the time to write my name, I enjoy it even more. So there you are. It is just a nice thing to do for your guests.

That's exactly why I printed the address on the envelopes (didn't use labels) because me handwriting the addresses would have made them incredibly ugly.  I have horrible handwriting, I even had a tutor in elementary school, I am just not physically capable of writing nicely.  Writing also causes me physical pain, especially when I'm trying (and failing) to make it look nice.  

photokitty

I'm honestly enjoying seeing the posters who post/used to post here and their opinions in the thread.

ETA No catty under tones here

winnipegwriter

(singing) "Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?"

Signed,
A member of both WW and The Knot forums

phira

@winnipegwriter Yeah, it's really weird because there are LOTS of us dual users! Honestly, though, if I had to pick one or the other forum, I'd probably pick TK. Most of TK's crits of WW are like ... "Here are some rude things that WW brides like to suggest," and most of WW's crits of TK are just, "They're all bitches!"

HisGirlFriday13

I hand-wrote our STDates and invites mostly 'cause I am blessed with awesome handwriting (like, people pay me to address things for them). Otherwise, I would have probably printed directly onto the envelope OR found someone to pay to address them for me.

What gets me is the firmly held belief of the speshul snowflake princess brides who are convinced that *their* families won't side-eye them for it.

It's like the scene in "When Harry Met Sally," where Meg Ryan tells Billy Crystal, " It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math."

If you do tacky things, someone is going to side-eye you.