Greetings, all!
I realize this question has been raised in 8,000 forms and variations, so I apologize for raising it again. Nonetheless: I have a problem when it comes to selecting a MOH. I would like to have one for a variety of reasons - but I have three very close friends. Two I have known for 10 years, one I have known for 6. Each has been exceedingly loyal in different ways. Not being a MOH would not change their commitment to our friendship, but I cannot help but wonder if there wouldn't be the risk of hurt. I do not wish to upset any of them by selecting one "over" another to be MOH, but with only potentially 5-6 women total (including the potential MOHs) on my side in the party, having 3 MOHs seems...excessive. My fiance, however, does have a best man. I have been toying with the idea of simply not having a MOH at all - although, if I don't designate a MOH, I don't know how to select someone to sit on the altar with me (to help maneuver my dress), or who signs the documents, etc... But maybe that doesn't even matter.
Bonus problem: There is another large group of tight-knit friends I am close to. My fiance is having one of the men in his party, and I'd love to have his wife in mine; we are very, very close to them. However, I love everyone so dearly in this group and I fear upsetting those who will not be in my party....If I continue to keep them in my life, and have them at the wedding, is it okay to still have one couple from this group in the party?
I'm desperately afraid to upset or alienate friends, so I'd love some suggestions, and thank everyone in advance for their input!
Re: Maid(s) of Honor? Only Bridesmaids?
I am having four BM's and no MOH myself. There is nothing wrong about it and it won't change whether or not I am married. As far as the "duties" of holdig flowers, fluffing the dress and such you can either give it one person or split it up amongst your top girls...but I would ask them if they want to do that instead of delegating it.
As for your bonus question, if you are really close to someone you ask them to be in your WP, there is no rule that you have to include everyone, and I doubt that those not in the WP will get upset. Just invite the group (if you have room/want to) and you'll be a-okay.
In the end, if you want your friend, who happens to be your FI's best man's wife, to be your honor attendant, then do it. Your friends will understand and be happy to be a part of your wedding.