Invitation not received

SP29

FI and I sent an invitation to my uncle, out of respect for my grandmother who strongly requested he be invited. I haven't seen or talked to him since I was 8 (I am now 26), and my dad (his brother) hasn't talked to him in years either (dad didn't care to invite him). However, grandma requested I invite him as he would feel slighted by the family and it would cause drama and she would get the brunt of it. Crazy right? But, because FI and I conceded to inviting some of his extended family that we originally weren't planning to, we agreed to invite my uncle and aunt. 

Our wedding is January 4th, reply date is December 7th. Because my uncle lives on the other side of the country and the wedding is around the holidays we chose to send his invitation (as well as some other guests who live elsewhere in the country and the world) early opposed to sending out STDs, as this is essentially a "destination" wedding. So, we sent the invitation a couple months ago, properly addressed and including our return address.

My grandma was talking to my uncle recently and she asked him about receiving the invite and he said he hasn't received anything. The invite was never returned to us. It was also sent with the other invitations to those far away/out of country and all of those invited guests received their invitations. 

Grandma wants me to send him another one. FI doesn't want to. Do we send a second one? Contact him first and clarify that he did not in fact receive it? Contact him and verbally give the invite details (similarly to how to planned to follow up with anyone who we hadn't heard from by the RSVP date)? 

Viczaesar

Why does your FI not want to send a second invitation?

deannagirly

I would just send out a second one. If he still hasn't rsvped by the date after 2 invites, then call him up.

SP29

Because we already sent it, and it never returned back to us (of course it could've been lost in the mail). There is some family drama between uncle and the rest of the family and FI isn't sure if he believes it was not received. Yeah, I think he's overreacting a bit, because I've had mail lost before. We have the extra invitations (but no more envelopes). 

I think I should just mail out another one. The address we have is correct. 

However, grandma wants me to include an additional note in the invitation explaining that we already sent an invitation (he knows this- as she told him we sent the invitation long ago) but unfortunately it seems to have gotten lost. 

Include an additional note? 

AroundTheBlock

Why not just send him another? You made the decision to invite him already: if he did not get the invitation you already sent, then sending another is the simplest way to follow through on your decision. You never know, you might have transposed two numbers in the postal code; or the envelope may have become lodged in a corner of the mailbox or sorting equipment or some other unlikely accident. If you think that you might have the wrong address then by all means follow up with him verbally to check the address before re-sending.

Why on earth does your fiance not want to do the obvious? Does he imagine that Uncle is playing some game, or that Grandma is lying to you? Or is he just worried about the cost of the invitation? Or does he see this as an opportunity to back out on what you already decided?

SP29

I will mail out a second invitation. 

orwhatuwill

We had some lost in the mail. Send another.

Viczaesar

Invitations get lost in the mail all the time.  Tell your FI to stop overanalyzing and send him another invitation.

winelover123

We had 4 invitations get lost. 1 eventually made it's way back to us. I'm glad you're sending another invitation. If that one happens to get lost too, then I'd give him the info word-of-mouth.

SP29

Thanks  

Would you include a personal note explaining the original was lost? (Even though grandma has told him we did send it). 

speedyblazer11

If you want to add a note, add a note.  If it were me I would call him and explain over the phone instead, right after I sent the new invitation.  If you guys are close enough to do that then just send a new invite and if you don't get the rsvp back by the due date then call like you would any other guest.

Good luck.