Help! I want to add 1 more bridesmaid

sierrawinterdesigns

Currently, we have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. I have a dear dear friend that I really want to be the 7th bridesmaid. I cannot image my wedding party without her. My Fiance does not want to add anymore people and is not OK with me having 1 more bridesmaid than he has groomsmen. I have tried talking him into it several times but he is not budging. I have considered having her read, and even being our flower girl! I just really want her involved and to feel special. If she only reads I feel that it wont mean as much. Help!!

Jen4948

You don't have to have even sides.  If you want her to be a bridesmaid, go ahead and ask her even if you have more bridesmaids than your FI has groomsmen.  It's okay not to have the same number on each side.

doeydo

Currently, we have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. I have a dear dear friend that I really want to be the 7th bridesmaid. I cannot image my wedding party without her. My Fiance does not want to add anymore people and is not OK with me having 1 more bridesmaid than he has groomsmen. I have tried talking him into it several times but he is not budging. I have considered having her read, and even being our flower girl! I just really want her involved and to feel special. If she only reads I feel that it wont mean as much. Help!!

He has zero say in who you choose as bridesmaids, and vice versa.  He is kind of acting like an asshole to be honest.

Fran1985

Why does he care? He really thinks even sides is worth more than honoring your close friend? What if you told him he had to cut one? He is being ridiculous and pretty controlling

HisGirlFriday13

I ditto @doeydo. You pick your BMs, he picks his GM. If he doesn't like uneven sides, too bad. If he doesn't want them to be uneven, then he can pick another GM. But if you honestly can't imagine your wedding party without her, I have to ask -- why was she the seventh person you wanted to ask, rather than the first? Who are the six people in front of her that you asked?

kgd7357

The only other honors I would say are readers and witnesses. I was once a witness for a friend and not a BM and I felt honored. I was invited to the RD as well. Don't do the flower girl thing if she is the same age as any of the BM. And def don't make her the program girl or something. Or just tell your FI to get over it.

MyNameIsNot

Tell your FI to grow up and get over it.  

I wouldn't marry a man who could be so serious about putting numbers ahead of people.  

AddieCake

I'm unsure why, if you cannot imagine your wedding without her, she was not asked to be a bridesmaid initially. 

StarArly

I can relate! My FI doesn't want me to add another bridesmaid. For us it is that he thinks our wedding is too small to have more than 3 bridesmaids. He has 3 groomsmen.  I'm just adding another bridesmaid anyway... he can find out at the wedding LOL.

emilie250

@StarArly - love it

emilie250

I think you should just continue discussing the matter with your fiancé. Explain why this is important to you. It may help for him to see from the wedding boards that not all sides are even - it could just be that all the weddings he has been to have had equal sides and he can't imagine it any other way. On the other hand, maybe it's that he's embarrassed he doesn't have as many close friends as you do. If that's the case, be warm and understanding when he opens up to you.

If he truly doesn't budge, then tell him that this is something you want to do and that you will do. Ultimately, if she is truly one of your closest friends and you want her beside you, she should be.

aurianna

"Fiance, my friendship with Sally is important to me. I want her at my side when we become man and wife. I think we should have the nearest and dearest to us stand beside us on our wedding day; that is far more important than if the sides are 'even.'
And do you really think your groomsmen Billy would mind walking with TWO bridesmaids on his arms? I think he'd rather enjoy it.
So I'm going to ask Sally to be a bridesmaid. Please don't think this means you have to find another groomsman. We're going to be surrounded by the people we love most; we don't need random place-holders to make the sides even if we're standing with the right people."

You could also try this, but it could backfire:
"If it were reversed and I only had one person I wanted to stand up with me, would you be ok cutting 5 of your closest friends just so our sides looked even?"
Though, if the answer is yes... I have to worry about the depth of his relationships.

lizzypoo96

AddieL73 said:

I'm unsure why, if you cannot imagine your wedding without her, she was not asked to be a bridesmaid initially. 

seriously. 

I am having 3 BM to 1 GM. I'm so over people thinking the bridal party needs no be even. No one should look at friendship like that!?

However, "just doing it anyways" isn't exactly the best foot to start your marriage off with. But neither is holding a grudge over something as petty as evenness of people.