Destination Weddings Discussions

A bit of a rant

I mailed the invites this weekend, and now I'm full of butterflies. I just feel like a lot of guests will find it odd that I sent them so early and have an early RSVP date. I have my reasons, and could easily explain to everyone if they asked, but I get the feeling that those who would be annoyed aren't going to ask, and it was never my intention to upset or offend anyone. 

I know I'm getting a lot of these reservations from reading the etiquette board and learning how easy it is to upset people. I guess if I'm asking a question rather than just ranting, would you assume the bride was b-listing if you got an invitation 5 months before the wedding, and asked for a response by 3 months before? I want to give people time to decide, but I also need time for multiple vendors and apartment bookings. 

I figured that getting the invites out before the Christmas season should be the priority, but letting them have a month after that to decide would also be helpful. Christmas always costs me way more than I expect it to, so I wouldn't want to commit to a vacation before knowing what I spent.

Re: A bit of a rant

  • I think it sounds totally fine!!

    I have to really temper my participation on some of the other boards because it seems like people get offended if you breathe wrong and it was making me paranoid/uptight/upset about every decision. Not looking for "special snowflake" permission by any means but I think you know what I mean!
  • Thank you! That definitely helps put my mind at ease. If some of my guests side-eye my invitations, that's up to them. We knew when we planned this that it wouldn't be easy for everyone to attend, but at least it will be easy for everyone to say no, if they want to.

    re: etiquette boards - I know I have to stop reading them, but I find myself gravitating toward those boards (perhaps masochistically?) and when I see those bully threads, I feel the need to DM some of those brides to try and put their minds at ease because it actually might be okay to have two ceremonies, and it might be okay to have a hand in planning your own shower, and these women get their heads bitten off for asking a question.
  • We sent our invitations out at 6 MONTHS with the RSVP about 6 weeks before the wedding. Similar to you we wanted them out before Christmas and wanted to give guests heaps of time to make arrangements. I know the etiquette board frowns upon it - and ive had advice saying people will "forget". Well anyone who forgets about our wedding clearly isnt all that interested in coming!

    Ive had excellent feedback from guests that have gotten their invitations super dooper early.

    Can't wait to say 'I do' on April 14, 2014 - Planning Bio

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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2013
    I don't think people are going to side-eye your invites being sent so early. As you said, you have your reasons for sending invites early. I had to send my invitations out very early as well. One of the main reasons was because I had people from outside the US that would need proof of a wedding invite to expedite the visa process. The venue also required a firm headcount by a certain date. 

    The only downside to sending the invites so early was that people actually forgot to RSVP. However, I think you may have that issue regardless. 

    Good luck with your wedding plans! 
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  • Thanks, you guys! Your comments definitely helped me get through the day. So far, the one person who got the invitation today, loved it, and said that he has already sent the response card.
  • We sent our invites out at 6 months too - there were a lot of different things we had planned that really needed advanced booking. People were actually asking us to send them out earlier!! (We just put the info on our website)

    We did have a few people we had to track down to get responses (Hello - mom? you are coming to my wedding right? lol)

    I don't think anyone will worry too much about it - any questions on timeframe would be resolved once they saw it was a DW right? 

    Good luck! :)
  • Our wedding is 8/15/14, and I plan to send our invites out in March with an RSVP deadline of April.  They need to book by 6/20, but I want to get them confirmed.  I sent out Save the Dates back in mid-October, so it's on everyone's radar.
  • I got an invite for a destination wedding almost a year in advance and, being a student at the time, was thrilled to have to the time to save up for it, I had an awesome time at the wedding too.  I feel like you are being too hard on yourself and I am sure people will  appreciate your thoughtfulness :)
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