Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Help

My fiancee and I just recently got engaged, and as we were telling our news we already asked the people we want to be in our wedding party. I know this is kind of soon, but it was gut instinct. We're each having 6, which is a lot--but these are the girls (high school & college friends and my cousin) I feel closest to, and I've always felt that I wanted them in my wedding.

The problem is that I'm in a wedding for another friend in July. When she found out I was engaged, she was super excited and has started saying all over the internet and to everyone she meets how lucky and excited she is to be engaged at the same time as one of her best girlfriends. I'm really excited about the circumstances too...except that I don't think I want her in my wedding party. She is a good friend of mine, but I just don't feel as close to her as I do to these other girls, and if I ask her to be in it I feel like I'm going to end up with an army of bridesmaids. Is it enough for me to tell her no for bridesmaid, but find another way for her to be involved on my wedding day?

Re: Bridesmaid Help

  • SaladOB13 said:
    My fiancee and I just recently got engaged, and as we were telling our news we already asked the people we want to be in our wedding party. I know this is kind of soon, but it was gut instinct. We're each having 6, which is a lot--but these are the girls (high school & college friends and my cousin) I feel closest to, and I've always felt that I wanted them in my wedding.

    The problem is that I'm in a wedding for another friend in July. When she found out I was engaged, she was super excited and has started saying all over the internet and to everyone she meets how lucky and excited she is to be engaged at the same time as one of her best girlfriends. I'm really excited about the circumstances too...except that I don't think I want her in my wedding party. She is a good friend of mine, but I just don't feel as close to her as I do to these other girls, and if I ask her to be in it I feel like I'm going to end up with an army of bridesmaids. Is it enough for me to tell her no for bridesmaid, but find another way for her to be involved on my wedding day?
    Weddings aren't tit for tat. Think about it. What if you asked every bride whose wedding you were in to be a BM in your wedding. Plus the friends you actually wanted. Plus anyone who spouted off on social media that they're your best friend? You'd end up with a giant wedding party.

    What you have sounds great and you sound happy about it! It sounds like you'd ask her to be in the WP because you feel guilty. That's a bad reason. 
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    doeydoKeptInStitches
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    I don't see the problem. You're assuming she assumes she'll be in it b/c she says she is happy and excited for you?


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Blue_Bird
  • I am having the same issue. A friend who i have considered one of my best friends for a while is basically assuming she is going to be in my wedding. I am her MOH (next to her brother)... she even told me at one point and then apologized for it afterward  " let me just tell you, i WILL be in your wedding". Actually, our relationship has changed immensely and i'm not a 100% i want her in it... i don't know what to do.. how do u get rid of that guilt feeling???

    Good luck.. and congrats!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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