Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invitations vs. actual attendance

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Re: Invitations vs. actual attendance

  • We invited about 90. 65 RSVPd yes, and I think 10 no-showed. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • We had a small wedding. Invited 76 and 51 attended.
  • We invited 300, had 173 RSVP yes and 2 no-showed because they had a fender bender on the way.  Our wedding was in my hometown which made it a destination wedding for most of our guest list.  We were surprised that many came.  

    We were even more surprised when half of H's family from Belgium RSVP'd yes, and suddenly we had to rent a van to get them all there from the airport.

    So yes, plan on 100% attendance.  Then anything less is a happy surprise for your wallet.
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  • We invited and budgeted for 200 (at least half of which were OOT and included plus ones for my single cousins and our single friends). 125 RSVPed yes and we had 4 no shows.

    Because we budgeted for 200 we were able to upgrade to a premium bar and still spend less money than originally planned on food and drinks. Absolutely plan on 100% attendance. Having extra money due to declines is always way better than scrambling to properly host everyone who RSVPs.
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  • aefitz29 said:
    I sent out 165 invites and only 15 showed up. 
    @WedReMix13 - Not to pry and be a Nosey Nancy but was this because the invites were not sent far enough in advance or because of a different reason?

    I sent the invites 4 weeks in advance. I dont know why some people didnt attend. They didnt respond to the RSVP so I cant say. Those that did decline were due to different reasons. 35 people said yes, so what changed their minds i dont know. It was ok though. I'm sad some could not come but I loved how small it was. 

    ETA: I should Edit my post- it was 165 people, not invites. We sent out 35. My answer for why though is still the same :) 

    STUCK IN BOX: That's almost 5 people per invite! Maybe there was some confusion...
  • eileenrob said:
    Everyone kept telling me 20% of your guests will say no.  Don't believe it!  Hubby and I invited 170, and we hosted 174. 


    Absolutely agree with her!!

    My wedding has not happened yet, but I was a bridesmaid in 2 last year- the first had 150 invited and 154 showed up, the second had 170 invited and 165 showed up. If the wedding coordinator tells you that 10-20% won't show- it's a lie!!! Unless you know 10% are across the country...if they are within 45 minutes- they WILL come.

  • We invited 91, including us, vendors, and several plus ones. A couple people opted not to bring plus 1 ' s and we had about 20 no's. 70 people RSVP'ed yes, 65 not including us and 3 vendors. 2 were no shows because one of my aunts got into an accident the week of the wedding and was too sore to make the trip into town.
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  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
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    edited December 2013
    We invited 120, had 102 show up - most of those "no" rsvp's were because we gave all of our single guests a plus one, and most of them rsvp'd "yes" and chose not to bring a date. Not including +1s, we only had 7 people decline.
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  • xmobergx said:
    eileenrob said:
    Everyone kept telling me 20% of your guests will say no.  Don't believe it!  Hubby and I invited 170, and we hosted 174. 


    Absolutely agree with her!!

    My wedding has not happened yet, but I was a bridesmaid in 2 last year- the first had 150 invited and 154 showed up, the second had 170 invited and 165 showed up. If the wedding coordinator tells you that 10-20% won't show- it's a lie!!! Unless you know 10% are across the country...if they are within 45 minutes- they WILL come.

    Be careful with this, too - elderly relatives of my MIL who I had never met, and my fiancé hadn't seen in years, drove from Florida to NJ for our wedding, which we definitely weren't expecting. Your wedding isn't just an opportunity for people to see you get married, they'll also want to come because they know a lot of their family will be in the same place at the same time.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    edited December 2013
    krizzo17 said:
    xmobergx said:
    eileenrob said:
    Everyone kept telling me 20% of your guests will say no.  Don't believe it!  Hubby and I invited 170, and we hosted 174. 


    Absolutely agree with her!!

    My wedding has not happened yet, but I was a bridesmaid in 2 last year- the first had 150 invited and 154 showed up, the second had 170 invited and 165 showed up. If the wedding coordinator tells you that 10-20% won't show- it's a lie!!! Unless you know 10% are across the country...if they are within 45 minutes- they WILL come.

    Be careful with this, too - elderly relatives of my MIL who I had never met, and my fiancé hadn't seen in years, drove from Florida to NJ for our wedding, which we definitely weren't expecting. Your wedding isn't just an opportunity for people to see you get married, they'll also want to come because they know a lot of their family will be in the same place at the same time.
    You do have to be careful with this, but I think there are some people who you know won't come.  I've visited my great aunt and uncle only once.  They literally haven't been out of the state they were born in in twenty years.  It was safe to assume they weren't coming.  

    We had a cake and punch reception and we didn't do RSVP cards.  My mom and I sat down and made an educated guess on who would come, who wouldn't come and who was a possibility.  We ended up thinking 120 give or take would come (out of 342 invited - we have big families with lots of kids) and we ended up with about 100.  So yea, we had some extra cake but that was no big deal.  Also, our wedding was an afternoon one on a Wednesday so that cut down the numbers quite a lot.

    No one who we decided in planning wouldn't come ended up coming.
  • We invited 208 and had about 130.
    Lots of out of towners who declined.
  • We sent 137, we currently have 97 who will be in attendance (this includes some declines from previous "yes" RSVPs). Will give you the final breakdown after our wedding (in 15 days!)
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