Writing our own vows.... Together??

mimiphin

Ok so I was talking with FI last night and mentioned us writing our own vows. He wants us to write them together "so its like one poem", where as I would like us to write them separately and then say them for the first time to each other on the big day. 

What did/will you do?
Thanks

Jen4948

One thing you will need to do is find out if your locality requires a "declaration of intent" or any other specific language to recognize your vows as a legal marriage.  If so, you'll have to incorporate that into whatever your vows are.

fre3doms

My fiance and I are writing our own. I don't think we're going to show them to each other beforehand. We probably will e-mail them to our officiant though so he can see them ahead of time.

missmo14

We are doing the same as @fre3doms

CLI242009

My FI and I are writing our own vows. We are not showing them to one another. We want to be surprised and feel the emotion then and there on that day.

My FI and I are having a Catholic wedding so we will be saying our Sacred vows (which the church "needs" to hear) first and then saying our own personal vows during our lei exchange.

Bruins63

I really want to rite them privaely then say them for the first time at the wedding but my fiance is scared to death of this. He doesn't know what to write or how long it' supposed to be and I told him many people email it to the officiant for help but he's still super worried about it. So I'm not sure, we might end up writing them together?

climbingsingle

We're writing our own vows separately. We won't see or hear each other's until the ceremony. 

southernbelle0915

We wrote ours together, but we also wrote the whole ceremony together.

jdluvr06

We are writing ours together.

CLI242009

xmobergx said:

I really want to rite them privaely then say them for the first time at the wedding but my fiance is scared to death of this. He doesn't know what to write or how long it' supposed to be and I told him many people email it to the officiant for help but he's still super worried about it. So I'm not sure, we might end up writing them together?

Do you have anyone close that could proof read them? The officiant is a good suggestion but I would have someone close to you guys read them. They would know you better than the officiant. My FSIL is an English major and she proof read mine.

mrsbanany

xmobergx said:

I really want to rite them privaely then say them for the first time at the wedding but my fiance is scared to death of this. He doesn't know what to write or how long it' supposed to be and I told him many people email it to the officiant for help but he's still super worried about it. So I'm not sure, we might end up writing them together?

You could make an outline together that way you are both on the same page but the content itself is private until the day of. For example - start with 2-3 sentences  about how you feel about the wedding day. List 2 reasons why you love the other and end with 3 vows to each other. 

That way it gives your FI some guidance and allows for you both to have coordinating vows without writing them together