rude or not: dictating gifts for children?

triciaandkenswedding

I ASK my SILs for specific ideas for all my nieces and nephews.  One is great and emails me links (at different price points) and then just asks what I got.  The second told me this year, Mickey, Princesses or little people.  The third says, "boy stuff"!!!!    But I ask for this, and I'm never made to feel pressured.  Its actually the "boy" stuff that drives me nuts.

banana468

I can't imagine dictating what people give DD but when asked we do give suggestions. From time to time we'll even bust out the stuff I don't love too.

pumpkinsandturkeys

We have a couple in our family who regularly request that we refrain from buying their children any toys. They only had one child initially and began requesting this when he was about 2, saying that he was getting spoiled, etc. and had too many toys as it is. They've since had another child who just turned a year old, and we were informed a week before the celebration that they'd like everyone to forgo gifts again. For FI and I (and a lot of other family members), it was frustrating not only because we'd already purchased gifts, but because we wanted to give something in honour of such a big milestone. Also, I find it hard to believe that you can spoil a one-year-old, because they don't understand the concept of being spoiled (and none of us were purchasing big, extravagant gifts anyways). It's also awkward at Christmas because there are other children in the family now, and if they keep up with the 'no gifts' mandate, their kids are eventually going to notice that they're the only ones without presents to open, which may hurt their feelings. I'd much rather they suggest something educational like books if they don't want more toys.