Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Sorry Kids Aren't invited

13»

Re: Sorry Kids Aren't invited

  • Options
    misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    luckypri83 said:

    Lol I love this comment! I have an extremely large family, and it seems like everyone has children. I don't want small children at the ceremony, but I don't mind kids being at the reception per say. I just don't want children taking over everything. However, I was curious If you think its rude for me to ask guest that have children to pay for their children's plate at the reception? I know that babies and toddlers don't count, and I'm waiting to get more information about children plates for the reception.

    Yes, it's rude to ask them to pay for their children's plates
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AshleyNicole1218AshleyNicole1218 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    luckypri83 said:

    Lol I love this comment! I have an extremely large family, and it seems like everyone has children. I don't want small children at the ceremony, but I don't mind kids being at the reception per say. I just don't want children taking over everything. However, I was curious If you think its rude for me to ask guest that have children to pay for their children's plate at the reception? I know that babies and toddlers don't count, and I'm waiting to get more information about children plates for the reception.

    Yes, this is considered rude. Your guests should not have to pay for their meal, or their children's meal. If you're hosting a wedding, host a wedding....don't expect monetary contributions.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    luckypri83 said:
    Lol I love this comment! I have an extremely large family, and it seems like everyone has children. I don't want small children at the ceremony, but I don't mind kids being at the reception per say. I just don't want children taking over everything. However, I was curious If you think its rude for me to ask guest that have children to pay for their children's plate at the reception? I know that babies and toddlers don't count, and I'm waiting to get more information about children plates for the reception.
    Hell, yes, that would be rude. Why would you invite someone to a party you're hosting and then ask them to pay for their meals? 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    luckypri83 said:
    Lol I love this comment! I have an extremely large family, and it seems like everyone has children. I don't want small children at the ceremony, but I don't mind kids being at the reception per say. I just don't want children taking over everything. However, I was curious If you think its rude for me to ask guest that have children to pay for their children's plate at the reception? I know that babies and toddlers don't count, and I'm waiting to get more information about children plates for the reception.
    It would be very rude to ask them to pay for their children's plates.
    Aside from the overarching rule that it's rude to ask anyone to pay anything at your wedding, I think this would also indicate to parents that even though their children are supposedly invited, that they aren't exactly welcome. It would make them feel like you don't view their children as guests, but more like frills (like when you have to pay a fee to take an extra piece of baggage onto a plane).

    It is not rude, however, to not invite the children at all. If budget is becoming a concern for you, just don't invite kids, or certain circles of kids.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Victoriaraven121Victoriaraven121 member
    First Comment
    I am doing the same at my wedding. We would have had to add about 40 to our list if we included all the kids as well. And since weddings aren't cheap, we had to eliminate all the kids that are not considered immediate family. On our wedding invitations we addressed them to just the adults. We also included a line on the RSVP cards that said(for example) We have reserved 2 seats in your honor, for a family of 2 adults. Unfortunately, we have gotten some mean responses because kids aren't invited, but they have to understand that weddings are expensive. I hope this helps!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It would be very rude to invite the children, or anyone else, and expect them or their parents to pay for their hospitality. 

    If you don't want to include the children, then don't invite them.  It's not rude to not invite children at all, even if it ruffles feathers within your family.  But if you include them, then yes, it's up to you to pay for them, just as it is for all your other guests.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    luckypri83 said:
    Lol I love this comment! I have an extremely large family, and it seems like everyone has children. I don't want small children at the ceremony, but I don't mind kids being at the reception per say. I just don't want children taking over everything. However, I was curious If you think its rude for me to ask guest that have children to pay for their children's plate at the reception? I know that babies and toddlers don't count, and I'm waiting to get more information about children plates for the reception.
    image
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • Options
    KIFNKIFN member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    On the reply card, below the name line (M________), you can have an additional line that politely states "__ seat(s) are reserved for you" to reinforce that the only guests invited are the ones listed.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AMichelle5AMichelle5 member
    First Comment
    On your reception card put "Adult Reception". In addition you can also have a line that you pre-fill with the number of guests invited for each invitation. That can also cut down on this issue. I'm getting married in 3 weeks and had no issue when we used this which was suggested by our stationary boutique
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    AMichelle5 said:
    On your reception card put "Adult Reception". In addition you can also have a line that you pre-fill with the number of guests invited for each invitation. That can also cut down on this issue. I'm getting married in 3 weeks and had no issue when we used this which was suggested by our stationary boutique
    No.  "Adult Reception" in any form on an invitation or insert is rude.  You should never indicate who is not invited.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    AMichelle5 said:
    On your reception card put "Adult Reception"
    Absolutely do not do this!  
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TNKL1TNKL1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My fiancé and I are also planning a "no kids" wedding. We have gone as far as excluding any one under 21. The only kids allowed will be in the bridal party or working as ushers. Truthfully, it was an easy decision after attending many weddings with children allowed. We have already made it clear to those with children and have not send our invites as yet. I am happy to say that everyone understands and most parents are happy not to bring them.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Hollywood1203Hollywood1203 member
    First Comment
    I was having the same issue. My Fiancee and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves, and my mother insisted that I had to invite my younger second cousins. I explained to her that the only children that are invited are my stepchildren (who are in the wedding) and the 2 other children in the wedding. I am making the STD's  and invitations out to Mr & Mrs. ONLY and then  we will go from there. Glad i wasn't the only one having this issue.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kmeza420kmeza420 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    No kids at ours either, in our invites on the response card we took care of this by writing "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor." or if no guest was invited "we have reserved a seat in your honor".  Hope this helps...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Klloyd89Klloyd89 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2014
    If you have a wedding website you could state on there that it is an adults only event with the exception of immediate family. Or state on the wedding invitation that the bride and groom wish for this to be an adults only event.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    InkdancerInkdancer member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Klloyd89 said:
    If you have a wedding website you could state on there that it is an adults only event with the exception of immediate family. Or state on the wedding invitation that the bride and groom wish for this to be an adults only event.
    Do not put this on the invitation. It is very rude. The invitation is extended to the people on the envelope, and adding "no kids" is unnecessary.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
    Report Reply
  • Options
    auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    Klloyd89 said:
    If you have a wedding website you could state on there that it is an adults only event with the exception of immediate family. Or state on the wedding invitation that the bride and groom wish for this to be an adults only event.
    I wouldn't put "Adults only" even on the wedding website.
    What I'd do instead, if it's a formal venue, post pictures of it or the menu or anything that would give the picture that it's a more formal affair.

    The ONE thing I did on my website was in the additional guest information section I had a bullet that said something like:

    "If your children need to travel with you, the hotel has a list of recommended babysitters upon request that can watch your children for the duration of the event"

    And even having that, buried deep within the website, was probably rude and made me feel icky.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards