Dream dress might blow the bank

JaniV123

We just got engaged on Saturday but we want a budget wedding, we welcome help from family and such but we want to get most thing by ourselves. My family will probably buy my dress, but so far there is one dress i have deeply fallen in love with, the lazaro 3955 and it is $3600. I never envisioned buying a dress of more than 1500 but whenever i see that dress my hearbeat gets faster and i get teary and i just love everything about it. It is nothing like. I ever envisioned wearing or ever liked for that matter. I have yet to travel in order to try it on since our local store that has Lazaro doesthavethe sample. If it reallyis my dream dress, should i get it?. Ps this is the dress

laureneliz87_23318347

It really depends on what your overall budget is. If your parents are buying your dress, you might want to talk to them first, as they might not be ready to part with $4K (easily more with alterations and accessories) for a bridal gown.

Also think about what you're willing to sacrifice for the dress. There are lots of beautiful dresses in the $1500 range. Spending an additional $2000-$2500 on a dress is completely fine, but it means giving up $2000 of something else; whether it's a great photographer, better catering, or beautiful flowers or decor for your reception. I'll be an example...I actually found a gorgeous dress for $1300. Our wedding budget is between $35-40k, and with TheKnot's budgeter that allowed me something like $3,000 for a gown and accessories. But because I saved nearly a couple thousand on my dress, we got to splurge on an amazing photographer that would have formerly been out of our price range.

Personally, I'd go into dress shopping with an open mind. Go to a shop that has a more affordable price point (maybe <$2000) and then visit a higher end shop that carries Lazaro. You never know...you might be surprised and find something that you love at a different price point. Don't struggle with this until you've actually tried it on. You never know...you could get it on and then hate it.

Also from what I remember in the Just Engaged section your wedding isn't until summer 2015? You have plenty of time to think about this, and even to go to the shop and try it on and then browse some other stores.

JaniV123

@laureneliz87 thanks!! Definitely will be open to try more economic dresses! We still have to plan the budget but we are doing a lot of things DIY and through connections we can save up on stuff. Also have to see how much will splurging on the dress will affect the overall. Thank you for putting several things into perspective!

OliveOilsMom

JaniV123 said:

We just got engaged on Saturday but we want a budget wedding, we welcome help from family and such but we want to get most thing by ourselves. My family will probably buy my dress, but so far there is one dress i have deeply fallen in love with, the lazaro 3955 and it is $3600. I never envisioned buying a dress of more than 1500 but whenever i see that dress my hearbeat gets faster and i get teary and i just love everything about it. It is nothing like. I ever envisioned wearing or ever liked for that matter. I have yet to travel in order to try it on since our local store that has Lazaro doesthavethe sample. If it reallyis my dream dress, should i get it?. Ps this is the dress

It depends what your overall budget for your wedding is.  If you decide to have a wedding for $6k, that leaves you with 2K to plan the rest of your event.  And if you are standing in a designer gown and not properly hosting your guests at the event, people will be mad.  And I think you can easily find a cheaper version of that dress, its not all that unique in style.  And don't expect your parents to pay for anything unless they mention it first.  You could look for this gown used, if it is truly THE dress, I found a version of it here: clicky.

jellybeann

I'd definitely look for lookalikes in the designers at a lower price point. For example, I had my eye on the lazaro 3018, but it was waaaaaay out of my price range. I found and ended up buying the Alfred Angelo Paulina, and they're very similar. I got the dress I loved and saved thousands. I actually ended up liking the alfred angelo better because the buttons on the back go all the way down the train and I loved that.

ETA pictures

Lazaro first, AA second

hyechica81

check local bridal consignements for higher end designers if thats what you are after you may try on the dress and hate it or you may love it so much you will not want to part with it.
you have to find out what your parents are willing to pay for the dress, and if its around 100-1200 then you have to start at that price point

mori lee, jasmine bonny and allure are some affordable designers morilee has dresses that start at around 500 in some salons and go up to about 16000

doeydo

I think you should try it on and if you still love it, decide whether you are willing to pay the price or if you are okay purchasing a used dress or a sample.
Here are some links to used dresses:
http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/view/82596/Lazaro-3955-Size-2.html 
http://www.smartbrideboutique.com/shop/item/view/lazaro-lz3955-size-2-white-sweetheart-mermaid/6750/
http://www.smartbrideboutique.com/shop/item/view/lazaro-lz3955-size-10-white-sweetheart-trumpet/10572/

JaniV123

Thanks to all! Will definitely keep all oft hise things in mind, i have considerd a used gown im just worried about the fit because i am 5'9" and i worry it wont be long enough. @oliveoilsMom we have envisioned at a 10-15k budget @jellybeann they really do look sooo much alike, If i find virtually the same dress for cheaper i would change it in a heartbeat,

southernbelle0915

If your family has offered to pay for your dress, then you'll need to ask them what the budget is. Keep in mind that alterations can run several hundred dollars so that needs to make it into the budget as well. If they haven't offered to pay for it, then I really think you need to talk budget with your FH. If he's anything like mine, he would shit his pants if I said I wanted to spend $3,600 (BEFORE taxes and alterations) on a dress I'm going to wear for a few hours.

I completely understand falling in love with a dress, but I wouldn't consider buying anything for a few months. You got engaged on Saturday and today is Wednesday. Breathe. Enjoy being engaged. Start looking at bridal magazines and more affordable designer websites (David's, Alfred Angelo, Mori Lee, Maggie Sottero). While you're looking try to keep things in perspective that once the wedding is over and you take off your dress, you might want that $4,000 for something else.

KatWAG

JaniV123 said:

Thanks to all! Will definitely keep all oft hise things in mind, i have considerd a used gown im just worried about the fit because i am 5'9" and i worry it wont be long enough. @oliveoilsMom we have envisioned at a 10-15k budget @jellybeann they really do look sooo much alike, If i find virtually the same dress for cheaper i would change it in a heartbeat,

Can you afford to have a properly hosted event when you spend 30-40% of yoru budget on a dress?

climbingsingle

I think you need to try it on first before you make any decisions. You never know what something is going to look like until you put it on. I went into the bridal salon thinking I wanted one thing and I went with something completely opposite. Try that dress on and a few others and then see how you feel. 

JaniV123

@ClimbingBrideNY Exactly, I want to try on that dress in order to ease my mind as to wheather or not it is THE dress, because if it is I would be willing to make personal sacrifices in order to save up for it and get it. 

I bookmarked the listings for the used dresses just in case i decide for that option.

climbingsingle

JaniV123 said:

@ClimbingBrideNY Exactly, I want to try on that dress in order to ease my mind as to wheather or not it is THE dress, because if it is I would be willing to make personal sacrifices in order to save up for it and get it. 

I bookmarked the listings for the used dresses just in case i decide for that option.

Totally understand. I went into the bridal salon and tried on 10 dresses without even looking at the prices. And the one I chose ended up being one of the cheaper ones. 

winelover123

Definitely look at less expensive look-a-likes. Personally, I wouldn't spend that much on a dress I'd wear once. Look at used dresses too. If your family wants to buy your dress and the more expensive one is THE one and no other will do, maybe you could swing it if you cover the rest of dress. So if they're willing to put in 2k, you put in the other 2k.

artbyallie

JaniV123 said:

@ClimbingBrideNY Exactly, I want to try on that dress in order to ease my mind as to wheather or not it is THE dress, because if it is I would be willing to make personal sacrifices in order to save up for it and get it. 

I bookmarked the listings for the used dresses just in case i decide for that option.

Don't try on a dress you can't afford. Also, personally, I wouldn't want that big flower so near the, ah... crotchular region, lol.

ElcaB

First of all, congrats on your engagement!

Have you actually tried on your dream dress? If not, do so before going through the should-I-or-shouldn't-I battle. You may find when you try this dress on that it doesn't make you feel bridal, or isn't flattering, or something not good. There were several dresses I thought would be perfect for me, but I changed my mind quickly when trying on! What I'm probably going to end up purchasing is nothing I would have ever even considered! 

Secondly, before you go dropping that kind of money on a dress, do some research. If you're not bothered by the thought of a second-hand dress, search Tradesy Weddings and other similar sites for your dress. You never know! 

Lastly, let your consultant know you love that dress when shopping. They'll be able to pull similar styles you might end up loving even more for less!

misssunshine17

ElcaB said:

First of all, congrats on your engagement!

Have you actually tried on your dream dress? If not, do so before going through the should-I-or-shouldn't-I battle. You may find when you try this dress on that it doesn't make you feel bridal, or isn't flattering, or something not good. There were several dresses I thought would be perfect for me, but I changed my mind quickly when trying on! What I'm probably going to end up purchasing is nothing I would have ever even considered! 

Secondly, before you go dropping that kind of money on a dress, do some research. If you're not bothered by the thought of a second-hand dress, search Tradesy Weddings and other similar sites for your dress. You never know! 

Lastly, let your consultant know you love that dress when shopping. They'll be able to pull similar styles you might end up loving even more for less!

This. I can't imagine being so dedicated to a dress you haven't tried on. Honestly, the dresses I thought I'd like, I didn't. Honestly, no matter what the budget, I don't understand 4k (alterations, etc) on a dress, I just don't. If you're looking at 10-15k, I think it's just wayyy to big of a percentage.

hellohkb

I absolute recommend you keep an eye on preownedweddingdresses.com!! You may find the exact dress or a lookalike used for a much better price.

JaniV123

Thanks ladies @ElcaB I have not triend on the dress. That is my issue i really want to try it on just know if its the one. I have never liked dresses like, i have previously liked the complete opposite until i saw that one. i have looked at similar shape dresses (not look alikes) but nothing has given me that feeling (the same as with my e-ring, I saw it and i knew it was the one) and thats what I am afraid of. if i try it on and it doesnt glatter me or. I dont like it as much then things will be much easier

LDay2014

JaniV123 said:

Thanks ladies @ElcaB I have not triend on the dress. That is my issue i really want to try it on just know if its the one. I have never liked dresses like, i have previously liked the complete opposite until i saw that one. i have looked at similar shape dresses (not look alikes) but nothing has given me that feeling (the same as with my e-ring, I saw it and i knew it was the one) and thats what I am afraid of. if i try it on and it doesnt glatter me or. I dont like it as much then things will be much easier

On the flip side, if you try it on and you DO love it...are you prepared to spend the money on it? Personally, $4k is not something to be spent on a piece of clothing...regardless of the budget.  You are going to wear it for what, 6 hours? That's almost $700 an hour...

If you aren't prepared to spend the money DON'T try it on!  Think of it like a house...if you're buying a house and have a budget of $500,000 no realtor in their right mind will take you to look at $3M homes.  You will always compare to something you can't have and comparison is the thief of joy.

Dignity100

If you haven't already, I think you should sit down and figure out your budget and see what you have to spend.  If you're looking to spend $10-12,000 on your wedding, maybe figure out an estimate of venue costs and things like that.  If it is a STRICT $10-12,000; I would actually figure for $8-10,000 so you do have some wiggle room for those unexpected expenses.

From my experience:  I was planning on having around a $10,000-12,000 budget (before adding in the honeymoon) and was going to give myself $1500 for a dress, but after putting the numbers down on paper, I think I'd rather spend $500-800 or less on the dress.  I'm figuring around $300 for alterations as well.

CrazyCatLady3

LDay2014 said:

JaniV123 said:

Thanks ladies @ElcaB I have not triend on the dress. That is my issue i really want to try it on just know if its the one. I have never liked dresses like, i have previously liked the complete opposite until i saw that one. i have looked at similar shape dresses (not look alikes) but nothing has given me that feeling (the same as with my e-ring, I saw it and i knew it was the one) and thats what I am afraid of. if i try it on and it doesnt glatter me or. I dont like it as much then things will be much easier

On the flip side, if you try it on and you DO love it...are you prepared to spend the money on it? Personally, $4k is not something to be spent on a piece of clothing...regardless of the budget.  You are going to wear it for what, 6 hours? That's almost $700 an hour...

Well, given that designer dressmakers are not going out of business, clearly many people think $4k is worth it for a designer dress.  I'm not saying that the OP should spend that much, but you are talking vast differences in quality and construction between a $1k dress and a $4k+ dress.  Also, while it may be "$700 an hour," your wedding pics of you in your dress are for life.  My advice to the OP, if the dress looks good on her when she tries it on, is to try to find a pre-owned version from another tall bride.

Here are some differences from a cheap dress to a designer dress:

Fabric: Silk, satin, crepe de chine versus polyester. The major contributing factor to inexpensive gowns is in the choice of fabric.

Beading: Hand-beaded versus pre-fab appliques or machine beading. Get close enough and you can tell.

Construction: French seams, built-in corsets, boning, lining, covered buttons/loops versus serged seams, standard fitting, zippers and little to no lining. 

Taken from: http://thethirtysomethingbride.com/imported-20100102151706/2011/2/1/davids-bridal-vs-vera-wang.html

LDay2014

CrazyCatLady3 said:

LDay2014 said:

JaniV123 said:

Thanks ladies @ElcaB I have not triend on the dress. That is my issue i really want to try it on just know if its the one. I have never liked dresses like, i have previously liked the complete opposite until i saw that one. i have looked at similar shape dresses (not look alikes) but nothing has given me that feeling (the same as with my e-ring, I saw it and i knew it was the one) and thats what I am afraid of. if i try it on and it doesnt glatter me or. I dont like it as much then things will be much easier

On the flip side, if you try it on and you DO love it...are you prepared to spend the money on it? Personally, $4k is not something to be spent on a piece of clothing...regardless of the budget.  You are going to wear it for what, 6 hours? That's almost $700 an hour...

Well, given that designer dressmakers are not going out of business, clearly many people think $4k is worth it for a designer dress.  I'm not saying that the OP should spend that much, but you are talking vast differences in quality and construction between a $1k dress and a $4k+ dress.  Also, while it may be "$700 an hour," your wedding pics of you in your dress are for life.  My advice to the OP, if the dress looks good on her when she tries it on, is to try to find a pre-owned version from another tall bride.

Here are some differences from a cheap dress to a designer dress:

Fabric: Silk, satin, crepe de chine versus polyester. The major contributing factor to inexpensive gowns is in the choice of fabric.

Beading: Hand-beaded versus pre-fab appliques or machine beading. Get close enough and you can tell.

Construction: French seams, built-in corsets, boning, lining, covered buttons/loops versus serged seams, standard fitting, zippers and little to no lining. 

Taken from: http://thethirtysomethingbride.com/imported-20100102151706/2011/2/1/davids-bridal-vs-vera-wang.html

Whoah Nellie...there was no personal attack here.  This was just my opinion.  If the dress is not in the price range, then I wouldn't try it on.  You run the risk of falling in love with something you can't afford. 

With any item, there are high end and low end options.  And for me, whether my dress was silk taffeta or the same look in a synthetic fabric made no difference to me.  If I could save a few grand while getting the same LOOK that I wanted, and still feeling beautiful then great!  No one was going to be checking the tag on my wedding day to see what it was made of. And unless it's a dress from China, the materials, stitching, craftsmanship will be substantial enough to hold up for far longer than an afternoon/evening.

To someone else, the material and a name brand may be a deciding factor - to each their own.  

But my point was that an appropriate price point needs to be established before going to look at dresses.

CrazyCatLady3

LDay2014

But my point was that an appropriate price point needs to be established before going to look at dresses.

Agreed; point taken.

hyechica81

i would call the salon first and find out if they have any dresses in the 1k range and if they do ask them if they have something similar to the 4k dress. but if all they carry is high end designers and nothing in your range i would start looking elsewhere

JaniV123

LDay2014 said:

On the flip side, if you try it on and you DO love it...are you prepared to spend the money on it? Personally, $4k is not something to be spent on a piece of clothing...regardless of the budget.  You are going to wear it for what, 6 hours? That's almost $700 an hour...

If you aren't prepared to spend the money DON'T try it on!  Think of it like a house...if you're buying a house and have a budget of $500,000 no realtor in their right mind will take you to look at $3M homes.  You will always compare to something you can't have and comparison is the thief of joy.

Thanks for your input, i do not know yet ifi would buy it new, the only reason i want to try it on is because i have seen the samedress ore owned for a 5'8" - 5'9" bride and i dont plan to wear heals, these preowned dresses are 1500$ so that would be something id be more comfortable paying. On the bright side if i end up not liking the dress i can start looking for something much more affordable with a completely open idea

JaniV123

@hyechica i have called the salon and they do carry more affordable dresses

vt&dt

^ This.

Take the picture with you, try on something with a similar shape in your price range, and go from there.  A lot of posters on TK went in with one picture or idea in mind and bought something completely different (I'm one) - thought I wanted a silk ball gown with beading & rhinestones - ended up with an all-lace trumpet gown.

CMGragain

Don't buy the dress.  Don't even try it on.
It is fine to look at photos on the internet and in magazines, but the dresses look very different when you try them on.  My daughter had a list of 15 dresses she wanted to try, and one was her "dream dress".  Well, it just didn't look that special when she tried it on.  I grabbed a dress and told her to try it, just for Mommy.  Guess what?  It wasn't even on her list!  She looked fabulous!
Rules for dress shopping:

1.  Do NOT try on anything that it out of your price range.
2.  Be open minded to different styles.
3.  Don't take more than two people with you.  It will confuse you.
4.  Remember, there are thousands of dresses out there and you cannot try them all.  You need a dress that makes you feel beautiful, is within your price range, and is suitable for the time of day.  There is not just one perfect dress.  You have many choices.

Trust me, when you are trying to manage your household budget and take care of your family, the glory of your wedding will have faded into the past.  Stay within your budget.  If you can't, then maybe you aren't ready for marriage yet.

emmyg65

^ this

At the end of the day, it's just a dress. A very special dress, of course. But you only wear it for one day. It's not worth blowing your budget. Bring the picture when you go shopping and see if you can find a cheaper dress like it.

button6004

I would stop looking at dresses immediately until you have a set budget from your parents. I knew that my family was helping and we set our combined budget at $1500. That limited what I looked at and what I got excited about. I ended up finding a dress for $1200 that left me plenty of budget room to cover the $250 in alterations and pick up a veil.