DH'S family get together -- UPDATE

HisGirlFriday13

It hasn't started yet but we just found out that DH'S crackwhore (literally; arrested on prostitution and drugs charges) sister is coming.

So BBC granny has informed all of us that we are expected to buy her gifts, but not anything she can trade for drugs, in an amount roughly equal to what we have spent on each other.

WHY WHY WHY is my husband's family so freaking obsessed with how much we all spend on each other?!

Four hours, y'all. I need @Chipmunk915's wine and @kmmssg's cookies.

DH and I are at lunch. I'm having wine now.

KeptInStitches

Uffda. Have all the wine.

lizandmark2014

Yikes! I would ask DH what wine she likes and get that or candy. ( See's, Harry and David ect.)

I would seriously consider coal or air too though. ;-)

chibiyui

*hands over ALL THE WINE*

Also, The Shoe Dept. Only does store credit. I used to work there, had a lady buy work boots for her son for the same reason

NavyBlue143

If there was a way to send wine and cookies in one fabulous combination, I would.

kmmssg

I have many different cookies waiting for you my dear.  In all honesty, I suddenly feel very guilty that I am looking forward to someone posting about an event they really don't want to go to.  Sorry.

HisGirlFriday13

It's H-Hour. We're on our way. Wish me luck.

[Deleted User]

Good luck @HisGirlFriday13! We're rooting for you and H!!

cruffino

I can't wait to hear how this went. Godspeed.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Good luck. Seriously -- alllllllllll the wine. I'm drinking for you, too.

afox007

Good luck!

[Deleted User]

I wonder how it's going.

HisGirlFriday13

The short answer was it went badly.

The fun drama was:

- crackwhore sister showed up early, so by the time the rest of us got here, she and BSC granny had gone several verbal rounds and were no longer speaking to each other.

- BIL and his FI showed up late, their kid spent his first hour here on the Nintendo DS.

- the appetisers- and hors d'oeuvres- only meal morphed into us having a sit - down dinner of soup and sandwiches, with eight people crammed around a four - top table.

- BSC granny asked me what we were doing with my family, I answered, crackwhore SIL said, 'Your family all seems to tight - knit and close and that must be nice.' BIL said that the family was close, just not to her, and it was her own fault, then that escalated into a screaming fight about who was more fucked up and why and how the sister inherited the mother's mental problems.

- BSC granny then tried to rope us into Christmas day dinner with her and her son AGAIN and DH shot that right down.

- while opening presents, the nephew got a card from 'great-grandma' and asked who that was and BSC granny flipped her shot asked about him not knowing who she is

- the aunt kept a tally of everything people got her and her son, and said it was 'good enough.'

- BSC granny opened the photo album we gave her, looked through it, commented on how she didn't like the BM's long hair and he should cut it, she didn't like the GM's beard and he should have shaved it, the RBs looked 'too casual' in their suspenders and ties, my train was too long, and the church didn't look old enough

- the crackwhore SIL did not bring presents but did expect them (I don't care if I don't get something from someone).

- SIL also left at one point and joined the neighbours' party to drink their liquor

- BSC gma took THREE phone calls while we were there, and talked a half hour, but because she's old and half-deaf, the conversations have been shouted, to the exclusion of any other conversation.

- the brother's FI and I have been told we're not family, but we are welcome to join the family functions

- the house was 90 degrees and REEKED of cat faeces and urine, which was exacerbated by the heat.

- despite being told I'm not family, I was told I should address her as 'Grandma' because that's what she wants.

- she unwrapped the Scentsy warmer DH and I gave her and said, 'What is this? Do you have one? Is mine as nice as yours?'

- I was forced to share my wine (!!!)

- the SIL cornered me and wanted to talk about what I thought of their family (just no).

- we have been told it's 'very selfish' of us to go to our own church on Christmas Eve and gma wants us at her church and she doesn't have very many left.

- the aunt insisted on taking ALL the leftovers

- I was forced to share my wine!!!

That's the CN version

ETA: fix typo

chibiyui

*Hugs*

cruffino

You made it! It's over. Honestly, it's so far out I can't even comment. I'm glad that you can take it in stride.

[Deleted User]

Jeez. Sharing your wine!?

jdluvr06

Sorry you had such a bad night (((hisgirlfriday)))

RebeccaB88

I hope you stopped at the liquor store on your way home.

RebeccaB88

Effing DP.

KeptInStitches

You got out of there! Hope you got more liquor.

HisGirlFriday13

Further update: DH's brother texted him this morning to inform him that the sister had told him she was shooting up in the bathroom at BSC granny's during the get-together.

My jaw hit the floor. I told DH, "That's it. In future, if your sister is invited to an event, we are not going. Ever. I am DONE with your family after this weekend."

He didn't argue. He did say that he'd like to keep seeing his brother and the brother's FI and his nephew (fine) and BSC granny, but agreed that it's only ever out at restaurants for a meal, with a definitive start and end time.

I'm just...I am so fucking livid.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Ugh, that's the worst! And shooting up in the bathroom?? Wtf?? If he still wants to see some of them, fine... But I hope he doesn't expect you to be there (and be sober for it).

KeptInStitches

Wow ... I'd be done, too.

KytchynWitche

Oh. My. Soul.

I think we need to have a cookies and wine party for the "I have a BSC family" club! I just don't even know how to process that whole series of events!

CLI242009

BSC = Bat shit crazy? I'm guessing lol

Just wanted to clarify.

cruffino

I can commiserate. One of FI's brothers gets high at all family gatherings. It really sucks.

pumpkinsandturkeys

No one gets high at ours, but FI's youngest brother routinely gets piss-ass drunk and storms out of every family gathering in a drunken tiff because someone has supposedly embarrassed/annoyed him. For example, at Thanksgiving, he was told he couldn't have any more beer, and he slammed the fridge door, pulled open the freezer door, threw a loaf of frozen bread on the floor, and then ran out of FBIL's house. I can't remember the last event we had where someone hasn't had to chase his drunken ass down the street so he doesn't get hit by a car or something.

climbingsingle

Wow, that is really crazy. And sad re: the shooting up in the bathroom. I'm sorry. 

smalfrie19

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

No one gets high at ours, but FI's youngest brother routinely gets piss-ass drunk and storms out of every family gathering in a drunken tiff because someone has supposedly embarrassed/annoyed him. For example, at Thanksgiving, he was told he couldn't have any more beer, and he slammed the fridge door, pulled open the freezer door, threw a loaf of frozen bread on the floor, and then ran out of FBIL's house. I can't remember the last event we had where someone hasn't had to chase his drunken ass down the street so he doesn't get hit by a car or something.

I know its not funny..but somehow this image made me giggle

pumpkinsandturkeys

smalfrie19 said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

No one gets high at ours, but FI's youngest brother routinely gets piss-ass drunk and storms out of every family gathering in a drunken tiff because someone has supposedly embarrassed/annoyed him. For example, at Thanksgiving, he was told he couldn't have any more beer, and he slammed the fridge door, pulled open the freezer door, threw a loaf of frozen bread on the floor, and then ran out of FBIL's house. I can't remember the last event we had where someone hasn't had to chase his drunken ass down the street so he doesn't get hit by a car or something.

I know its not funny..but somehow this image made me giggle

It's awful to say, but it's a little funny at times because he's a grown man. Sometimes, we debate who will chase him this time around. At Thanksgiving, we just let FSIL take care of it (she was also pissed because he had said something insulting to her previously), and the rest of us poured some more wine and kept eating dessert, because (sadly) this has become the norm.

NavyBlue143

My mom has a friend like this. She's emotionally dependent on him or something, and he attends every family event. I can't recall a party my family has had where he hasn't caused a scene or called the police because he started something and the other person was willing to finish it. I cannot stand him, he wasn't invited to my wedding last year. However, he did show up uninvited to my wedding shower, got drunk, and threw a bottle at someone across the garage when mom told him he had had enough. He spit in my (autistic) brother's face and then called the police when my brother punched him. Cops didn't come because he was too drunk, they couldn't even understand him.

My mom really wanted me to invite him, and I told her if having her friend who ruins every event at my wedding was more important than my feelings, then I would have them both escorted off the premises if he showed up. She didn't test me, which is good, because I had the local police number on a card in my dress and in H's pocket.