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Wedding Party

Ring Bearer Dilemma

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Re: Ring Bearer Dilemma

  • I know there isn't a requirement. Until our FG's parents mentioned it we hadn't really even though of it. However, when they asked we were very happy to agree!

    If the children get upset it will be something that will have to be handled regardless of if they are in the wedding ceremony or not. Both sets of parents are in it and someone will have to watch them. As a PP said the grandparents may not want to have to handle an upset child instead of watching the ceremony so a babysitter may happen anyways.

    I would rather pay a qualified babysitter $40 for a couple hours in case of necessity than have anyone feel they have to leave our ceremony to console a upset baby.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2014
    I know there isn't a requirement. Until our FG's parents mentioned it we hadn't really even though of it. However, when they asked we were very happy to agree!

    If the children get upset it will be something that will have to be handled regardless of if they are in the wedding ceremony or not. Both sets of parents are in it and someone will have to watch them. As a PP said the grandparents may not want to have to handle an upset child instead of watching the ceremony so a babysitter may happen anyways.

    I would rather pay a qualified babysitter $40 for a couple hours in case of necessity than have anyone feel they have to leave our ceremony to console a upset baby.
    I agree with that.  I'm not offended by the idea of a babysitter, but your previous post was worded in a way that suggested that you thought you had to have someone in the roles of ring bearer and flower girl.  I'm getting the impression, from that post and this one, that it might be more trouble than it's actually worth for you to have them.

    Edited to add: Nor should the FG's parents have asked you to include her in your wedding.  It should have been strictly up to you.
    [Deleted User]
  • Well it didn't bother us that they asked. Like I said we adore her and just hadn't really gotten that far into wedding planning. I mean yeah if we never talked to them or saw them I would be a little taken aback but when they did it it was more like "Oh my gosh, Laney could be your flower girl!" and I was like "YEAH!" because we are extremely close.

    Unlike my cousin who has 3 kids who are pre/teenagers(12-16) and a few weeks ago she was like "so what are my kids going to be doing for your wedding" and I replied "nothing" because I never see them or even really know the kids. That was awkward.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well it didn't bother us that they asked. Like I said we adore her and just hadn't really gotten that far into wedding planning. I mean yeah if we never talked to them or saw them I would be a little taken aback but when they did it it was more like "Oh my gosh, Laney could be your flower girl!" and I was like "YEAH!" because we are extremely close.

    Unlike my cousin who has 3 kids who are pre/teenagers(12-16) and a few weeks ago she was like "so what are my kids going to be doing for your wedding" and I replied "nothing" because I never see them or even really know the kids. That was awkward.
    Well, given how close you are to your FG's parents, I can see how that could happen.  But good for you for shutting down your cousin!  I would have found that awkward too.  But I myself might have handled your FG's parents the same way as your cousin:  I might have just said, "Thanks for the idea, but it won't work for us" or something like that.
    [Deleted User]
  • I don't see any issue including them regardless of age.  My godkids mean the world to me and I would have included them not matter how old they were.  I'd just make sure there is a back up plan if they get fussy, especially the baby.  I have no problem with fussy kids, but I'm sure the parents would like to know how it would be handled if they are up at the alter.  
  • @Jen4948
    It never occurred to me how it couldn't work. I never had any negative thoughts or feelings about it until I got on here and heard some valid points like the crying and the walking thing. We just got engaged in November so the planning just hadn't gotten that deep into it. I was just worried about the RB because we knew he wouldn't be able to walk. So saying it wouldn't work for us wasn't really a thought at that point.

    That's how I feel. I can handle fussy kids and I know most people understand but I don't want the BM or GM having to stand there while their child cries or feel the need to leave if that happens. I would like to have someone (babysitter) on standby just in case though. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @Jen4948
    It never occurred to me how it couldn't work. I never had any negative thoughts or feelings about it until I got on here and heard some valid points like the crying and the walking thing. We just got engaged in November so the planning just hadn't gotten that deep into it. I was just worried about the RB because we knew he wouldn't be able to walk. So saying it wouldn't work for us wasn't really a thought at that point.

    I understand.  I'm just saying how I myself might have handled a similar situation.  All the best!  (Sorry for the quote box)
  • No that is fine. I totally understand it just depends on the people and the way it is handled. That's just how it was for us with our friends.
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