guest list cutting

kaelenenobis

Hello all!

I want you to share your experiences with me! I have been reading a blog called intimate Weddings. And it has gotten me thinking about cutting down our guest list, to only the immediate family and some close friends.

Has one one here done that? Did you run into any issues? Were you happy with the wedding result?

Just wondering.  

JoanE2012

That wouldn't have worked for us.  We wanted to share our wedding day with all of our family and friends.

kaelenenobis

We have lots of extended family. So we are considering not inviting them. He isn't close with any cousins or aunts/ uncles either. But he has 50+ of them.

oliviaester1991

We kind of hit a snag on this issue. We originally had a very low budget and were going to do only immediate family. But then I really wanted to invite my aunts and uncles and cousins because I am close to them (and theres not too many), and he isn't close at all to his aunts/uncles/cousins and theres 50+. But after some thought neither of us liked that idea and made room in our budget to invite his whole family.

emmyg65

We did the opposite, increasing our guest list so we could accommodate all our close family and good friends, for a total of 90 guests. We even made some last-minute additions (before invitations went out, not b-listed). For us, it was totally worth it to be able to share that day with everyone we love the most. And it was a chance to reunite with family at a happy event (otherwise, we just see each other at funerals).

It really depends on you and your partner, how you socialize, and how you view your wedding. For us, it was important to declare our commitment publicly in front of our community. For others, it's important that it be more private.

jenna8984

My FI and I are both from fairly small families whom we are not close with. We see our auns/ uncles/ cousins once a year at forced Chrismas reunion and we suffer through it and don't even like the relatives. So we always said we wouldn't invite any of them. We stuck with that and told our parents that only grndparents and friends would be invited because they are the ones that have bearing in out lives. Our parents were very upset and offnded at first- but it was't even because they love their familiy and wanted them there- it was because they just didn't want to create drama and piss people off by not inviting them. After a week, theycame around and said you're right, if you're not close with them, we're not going to put a fight to have them there. I'm a very social person and I have tons of friends that I could not live without being there so we have 10 immediate family members and 50 friends invited. And even with that, we left out about 20 friends because we just don't talk to/ see them often enough.

tammym1001

FI and I are having approximately 35 people at our wedding. It will be our immediate family and a few close friends and their SO's. In the beginning, I had a few people guilt me about it, but we stuck to our guns and nobody has said anything since. We are getting married in May so I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I'm planning on it being pretty awesome! A smaller wedding fits our personalities better anyways. Neither of us likes being the center of attention and we aren't big partyers. A fun night out for us is good food and wine with friends so that's what our wedding is going to be.

kaelenenobis

Jenna and Tammy, That is awesome to hear that its turning out alright.  

kittypolishnbags

I'm doing that right now. Only immediate family and close friends. As a courtesy, we included a few from my father's side in the US (I'm born and raised in the Philippines) since they happen to be in the same country. But that's it.

grumbledore

Ours is a halfway compromise - I am very removed from my extended family, so I am not inviting them. His family is very close, so we are inviting his extended family. This allowed us to eliminate 30-40 people and I am much more comfortable with our current guest list.

tcnoble

FI and I just did this last night - his family list totals 66 people, so an intimate wedding wasn't an option as far as guest list size, but to me we are making it intimate in the way that matters to us by still only including the very most important friends and family. This still puts us around 150 but given where it COULD be, this is our version of intimate. Gotta do what works for you and your FI!

Anaelsea

A: who do you want in your life in ten years?

B: who are you inviting just because they invited you to theirs? 

C: who are you inviting who you havent seen for five years? two years? 

natswild

It's what FI and I are planning-close family and a couple friends only. Then at a later date, we'll be having a kickass party with most of his family who are in his home town, because they are elderly and unable to travel. (Note, that won't be a second reception, just a party!) ETF: TK posted before I was ready .

lyndausvi

We wanted to spend the day with our family and friends.   I happen to have a large extended family.   We had a wedding of 140 people.    Had my family been less people we would have had less. Had DH's family been larger than it was, the wedding would have been larger.

I never once had a number in mind when it came to my wedding. I wanted who I wanted and the number didn't matter.  Of course, knowing I come from a large family small intimate was never something I ever thought about.