FI's furbaby vent

firebabe6519

I love animals. But this dog is killing me! He has even convinced me that I do not want kids in the near future like FI does.

So earlier, the dog misbehaved. And of course I spanked him and told him no that is not acceptable. (I am babysitting him btw. FMIL is in the hospital having surgery so FI needed to be there with her for a few days.)

Anyway, not five minutes later, the dog and I go upstairs to my room. I started putting away the laundry, and this dog stops at the corner of my bed. He gives me a dirty look, lifts his leg, and pisses right on the corner of my bed and the carpet. The beligerant animal peed just because I spanked him! Gah!

Of course when I told FI about his dog, he simply laughed and commented on how the dog and I were exactly alike. :-/

firebabe6519

The dirty look I am now getting for spanking him for peeing on my bed.

Drewsgirl31

I was always a dog person until we got one. Our dog does this and I can honestly say I hate him. Like to the point I ignore him other than to take him out or feed him when no one else is home to do it or to punish him. Like I really really really hate this dog

pumpkinsandturkeys

I had the saaaaame problem with FI's cat (thankfully, we don't have her any more because my allergies got too bad). She was the most ill-behaved creature, simply because she didn't like rules and hated another female in the house.

If she was scolded or spritzed with a spray bottle, she would retaliate. The worst was when we realized she was crapping behind a semi-drywalled wall in the basement (while still going occasionally in her litter box, so we were none-the-wiser). Once she got caught doing that, she switched to peeing on the concrete behind the furnace -- so much so that the concrete was damp to the touch and the furnace started circulating the smell throughout the house. And all of this was after she was banned from upstairs because she liked to pee outside the bedroom door right after FI left for work every day, knowing that I was still in there and would step in it.

Stay strong. I would definitely recommend training classes with someone very experienced in destructive and vindictive behaviour. Dogs are much easier to train than cats, and as someone who has owned dogs -- including a very stubborn Jack Russell -- I can tell you that it is certainly not a lost cause at this point.

Good luck!

firebabe6519

I like the dog. He is super sweet, loving, and very protective of both FI and me. He is just so belligerent some times.

Drewsgirl31

Oh my dog is sweet, cuddly, good etc he's just a pain in my ass lol

doeydo

I love animals. But this dog is killing me! He has even convinced me that I do not want kids in the near future like FI does. So earlier, the dog misbehaved. And of course I spanked him and told him no that is not acceptable. (I am babysitting him btw. FMIL is in the hospital having surgery so FI needed to be there with her for a few days.) Anyway, not five minutes later, the dog and I go upstairs to my room. I started putting away the laundry, and this dog stops at the corner of my bed. He gives me a dirty look, lifts his leg, and pisses right on the corner of my bed and the carpet. The beligerant animal peed just because I spanked him! Gah! Of course when I told FI about his dog, he simply laughed and commented on how the dog and I were exactly alike. :-/

How old is the dog?  Was he not raised in a home?  What do you mean when you say you spanked the dog?  Maybe you and your FI should either watch/read some of The Dog Whisperer and/or get a trainer/go to obedience class.  Having a dog is kind of like permanently having a toddler (but better because they're cuter IMO).  They need a lot of work and are not very independent.  

MairePoppy

Spanking doesn't teach the dog anything. He didn't pee to get back at you, either. If he had access to a new area (your room), he was probably marking it. If you're going to be caring for the dog, a training class would be a good idea. 

MairePoppy

rwhite0123 said:

I was always a dog person until we got one. Our dog does this and I can honestly say I hate him. Like to the point I ignore him other than to take him out or feed him when no one else is home to do it or to punish him. Like I really really really hate this dog

So find him a new home with some patient people. There's no point in owning a dog who you hate. 

Drewsgirl31

We can't just get rid of him, it said so in our contract. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean my husband and kids do and I would never take their dog away just because I don't like him. So as I said, other than to care for him, I don't have much to do with him.

Chipmunk415

Stick his nose in it. Each time. No spanking. Say no loud and firm. A coworker of mine once had a greyhound who did this. He stuck her nose in it, then used an airhorn above her head (not near the ear). Dog never did it again.

The one time one of my cats did this, I stuck her nose in it, said no firmly, and when she tried to swat me she got a bop on the nose. The next time she used the litter box, I was there with treats and praise. FBIL's cat used the clean laundry (all linens) as a box (FBIL wasn't too keen on putting that away immediately) several times. FBIL and cat had a come to Jesus moment. Cat is still a mean old man, but does not use the laundry as a box anymore.

Drewsgirl31

That's what we do/did with our dog when he's gone inside. Unless it's really and accident. He was sick around New Years and couldn't control anything. Our house smelled lovely but couldn't and wouldn't punish him for something he wasn't able to control. But it did work when we were training him lol we didn't use an air horn though but we used a squirt bottle. I don't think any dog hates water and being wet like ours.

melbelleup

rwhite0123 said:

We can't just get rid of him, it said so in our contract. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean my husband and kids do and I would never take their dog away just because I don't like him. So as I said, other than to care for him, I don't have much to do with him.

I guarantee you in your contract it says if you no longer wish to own the dog you can return it to the breeder you bought him from. Any good breeder has this in their contract.

melbelleup

I would rather have 24 dogs than kids. My parents talked me down to 12 dogs and 1 kid.... I highly recommend dogs going to training classes as puppies and up until they're a year and a half. If anything, you will learn how to handle your dog's behaviors and they will learn to listen to you. Spanking does absolutely no good and in fact makes the dog scared and hate you. You can do what is mentioned above, but only if you catch the dog in the act. If it's not in the act, don't even waste your breath.

lyndausvi

Spanking only teaches the dog to be afraid of you.  You should get to the bottom of why he is acting out.   

 "Misbehaving" is such a generic and subjective term, I'm curious what he was doing to warrant a spanking.

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

I was always a dog person until we got one. Our dog does this and I can honestly say I hate him. Like to the point I ignore him other than to take him out or feed him when no one else is home to do it or to punish him. Like I really really really hate this dog

When you neglect giving attention to animals they tend to act out. Dogs are pack animals and need love and attention just like people do. They need constant training as well and depending on the breed it may take a lot longer to teach them what you need them to learn.

It's really really really sad to know this dog is in your care to be ignored like that. Also you aren't a dog person until you have learned how to care for and raise a dog.

Yes, I said raise as they need to be taught and cared for in all stages of their lives, it is a constant job.

emmyg65

Definitely pick up some books on dog training and/or take an obedience class. Spanking your dog teaches him nothing except to be afraid of you.

Jessa617

Spanking and sticking their noses in it does not teach them anything. If anything, they will take this abuse as just what it is, abuse, and may eventually retaliate and become worse. 

Ignoring a dog is not good either. Dogs are like human babies, would you ever leave a baby in his crib 24/7 except for when you feed them and change their diaper? Dogs need human interaction just like children do. 

If he is urinating in the house and it's not something he normally does, it could be a medical issue as well. If he's not housetrained, then do some research on housetraining. If he is housetrained, give your vet a call. 

Is he neutered? If he's not, he could very well be marking his territory, especially if there's been any changes in the environment (new people, new pets, new animals outside etc). 

I'd suggest an obedience/behavior class for both rwhite and firebabe. 

climbingsingle

Jessa617 said:

Spanking and sticking their noses in it does not teach them anything. If anything, they will take this abuse as just what it is, abuse, and may eventually retaliate and become worse. 

Ignoring a dog is not good either. Dogs are like human babies, would you ever leave a baby in his crib 24/7 except for when you feed them and change their diaper? Dogs need human interaction just like children do. 

If he is urinating in the house and it's not something he normally does, it could be a medical issue as well. If he's not housetrained, then do some research on housetraining. If he is housetrained, give your vet a call. 

Is he neutered? If he's not, he could very well be marking his territory, especially if there's been any changes in the environment (new people, new pets, new animals outside etc). 

I'd suggest an obedience/behavior class for both rwhite and firebabe. 

Ditto to all of this. Also, dogs require exercise. If they're not getting a good 30 minutes of exercise a day, they will misbehave. 

I have never spanked my dog and I've never rubbed her nose in anything. The only time she ever peed inside was when she had a UTI. She is extremely well behaved. She doesn't trash the house, she doesn't chew on anything she's not supposed to. 

firebabe6519

He is full grown, and has been through several obedience classes. Also neutered. He always tries to test the limits with someone new.

I've tried just rubbing his nose in it, but he thinks that's a game and just gets all excited. :-/

FI and I already use what the trainer suggested to teach him what's not ok. I call it a "spanking" but its just showing them what behavior was unacceptable and then using something like an empty water bottle or newspaper (something that makes a loud noise) and swat the dog with it. Supposedly it works, but I haven't seen it yet.

climbingsingle

Swatting or hitting the dog isn't going to work. Try putting a penny into an aluminum can and shaking at him. Please don't hit the dog. 

melbelleup

Never ever ever swat a dog. You're teaching the dog to be afraid of you. That poor dog Think of him as a toddler. always. Dogs are always a toddler. Unless puppies, then they're babies to the fullest.

Drewsgirl31

Yes it is in our contract to return him to the breeder, however my husband and kids love him so why return him just because I don't like him? He is not mistreated and has free reign of our house with the exception of the kitchen and bathrooms. The only time he is in his cage is if we leave or at night when we're all asleep. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I'm mean, heartless, or mistreat him. I just don't go out of my way to love all over him like my husband and kids do. Not to mention being a stay at home mom and nanny to 5 kids doesn't leave much time for me to love all over him even if I wanted to. While you would rather have dogs than kids, I'm the opposite. I would rather have more kids than a dog. To each their own.

He is very much still a puppy (he'll be 1 in Feb) but doesn't have most the puppy habits like chewing stuff up, etc. he's a very smart dog and listens for the most part. He isn't fixed yet. That was also in our contract he can't be fixed until he is at least 2 years old.

The only time my dogs been swatted was when I would catch him jumping up to my littles ones tray and trying to steal his food. Even then it was a light swat on his backside and no harder than I would swat my kids.

Jessa617

Dogs like positive reinforcement, When they do something good, you say "Yay! Good job!" Give him a couple scratches and pats and maybe a treat (You don't want to rely on treats though because then they will only do good behavior for just the treat). 

Dogs don't like being ignored, so if they do something bad, sometimes that's the best punishment (but only right when they do something bad, don't prolong it because dogs don't have a sense of how long ago they did something bad). For example, if the dog does something bad and you weren't there to witness it, you can't punish them, When I say "ignore" I mean just walk away from him for a few moments, not a whole day. This usually works with jumpers too- turn your back and ignore them when they try to jump on you. 

Also a firm "NO" can work too, if you need to you can put your hands on either side of his head and grab the scruff behind his jowls (firm, not hard) and say "NO". 

lyndausvi

rwhite0123 said:

Yes it is in our contract to return him to the breeder, however my husband and kids love him so why return him just because I don't like him? He is not mistreated and has free reign of our house with the exception of the kitchen and bathrooms. The only time he is in his cage is if we leave or at night when we're all asleep. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I'm mean, heartless, or mistreat him. I just don't go out of my way to love all over him like my husband and kids do. Not to mention being a stay at home mom and nanny to 5 kids doesn't leave much time for me to love all over him even if I wanted to. While you would rather have dogs than kids, I'm the opposite. I would rather have more kids than a dog. To each their own. He is very much still a puppy (he'll be 1 in Feb) but doesn't have most the puppy habits like chewing stuff up, etc. he's a very smart dog and listens for the most part. He isn't fixed yet. That was also in our contract he can't be fixed until he is at least 2 years old. The only time my dogs been swatted was when I would catch him jumping up to my littles ones tray and trying to steal his food. Even then it was a light swat on his backside and no harder than I would swat my kids.

I'm sorry, I've you can't devote the time needed to the puppy it's time to take the puppy back to the breeder.  The kids love the dog is not a good excuse.   

Drewsgirl31

That's generally what I do. Although he tends to get confused if he's sunbathing and I'm giving a no to one the kids, his head pops up like "what'd I do?!"

melbelleup

rwhite0123 said:

Yes it is in our contract to return him to the breeder, however my husband and kids love him so why return him just because I don't like him? He is not mistreated and has free reign of our house with the exception of the kitchen and bathrooms. The only time he is in his cage is if we leave or at night when we're all asleep. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I'm mean, heartless, or mistreat him. I just don't go out of my way to love all over him like my husband and kids do. Not to mention being a stay at home mom and nanny to 5 kids doesn't leave much time for me to love all over him even if I wanted to. While you would rather have dogs than kids, I'm the opposite. I would rather have more kids than a dog. To each their own. He is very much still a puppy (he'll be 1 in Feb) but doesn't have most the puppy habits like chewing stuff up, etc. he's a very smart dog and listens for the most part. He isn't fixed yet. That was also in our contract he can't be fixed until he is at least 2 years old. The only time my dogs been swatted was when I would catch him jumping up to my littles ones tray and trying to steal his food. Even then it was a light swat on his backside and no harder than I would swat my kids.

I'm not saying you mistreat him or anything. I'm just saying there's always an option to give him back and no one is ever stuck with a dog. I understand wanting kids over dogs, it's just not for me. I'm glad you think about your H's feelings as well as your kids in perspective of what to do with the dog.

melbelleup

rwhite0123 said:

That's generally what I do. Although he tends to get confused if he's sunbathing and I'm giving a no to one the kids, his head pops up like "what'd I do?!"

Hahaha. that's the best part about having two dogs. If I tell one no, the other thinks I meant them and I get sad puppy dog eyes.

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

Yes it is in our contract to return him to the breeder, however my husband and kids love him so why return him just because I don't like him? He is not mistreated and has free reign of our house with the exception of the kitchen and bathrooms. The only time he is in his cage is if we leave or at night when we're all asleep. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I'm mean, heartless, or mistreat him. I just don't go out of my way to love all over him like my husband and kids do. Not to mention being a stay at home mom and nanny to 5 kids doesn't leave much time for me to love all over him even if I wanted to. While you would rather have dogs than kids, I'm the opposite. I would rather have more kids than a dog. To each their own. He is very much still a puppy (he'll be 1 in Feb) but doesn't have most the puppy habits like chewing stuff up, etc. he's a very smart dog and listens for the most part. He isn't fixed yet. That was also in our contract he can't be fixed until he is at least 2 years old. The only time my dogs been swatted was when I would catch him jumping up to my littles ones tray and trying to steal his food. Even then it was a light swat on his backside and no harder than I would swat my kids.

If you cannot pay attention to your dog who needs attention then you shouldn't have one. Yes your kids may love him and so may your husband but I take it you're the one caring for him during the day since you stay home? So all day you don't acknowledge or pet or show attention to this animal because you 'really really really hate it.'

How many hours a day are you in a house with that dog and ignoring it? Would you ignore your child for that long? Not even acknowledge they are there other than to change their diaper and give them food and water?

You do realize that a dog under one year old is a puppy and needs a lot of attention. This includes petting and love that you are unwilling to give it. This dog hasn't even lived a full year of it's life yet and you hate it? That's awful.

Dogs are usually a reflection of the person they spend the most time with.

Drewsgirl31

Well it's a good thing he's happy right

He is not scared of me, he lays at my feet or on the couch of there is room when me and the kids are watching a movie. He has attention ALL DAY long, I have a house full of kids! When have you ever seen a kid ignore a dog? Yes I am the one home with him all day 4 days a week, my husband is home 3 days a week and evenings. The dog has plenty of attention just not from me and no, not because I really really really hate him. Because I have 5 kids and a house to take care of too. I pet him when I'm taking his leash on and off when he goes out side, I say good boy and pat him when I feed him but no I don't sit and devote my whole day to playing fetch and cuddling on the couch with him. Maybe ignore was the wrong word to use but when I have a 4 month old, 2 year old, 4 year old, 6 year old and my 9 year old when she get home from school there's not much time to interact with the dog even if I wanted to.

It's also not just my decision or dog to get rid of. We weren't supposed to get a dog for another couple years, but he's a rare breed and is hard to get if you're not an avid hunter or into the dog show circuit. I knew we didn't have the time for a dog especially since it would fall on me to care for him 95% of the time.

Edit: because I meant pet not pay

firebabe6519

@lyndausvi The prior misbehaving was the dog taking away a book I was reading and ripping it up. He had just gone for a walk, so I gave him his dinner and sat down to read. But he wanted attention. I tell him no and redirect him to his dinner and go back to my book. Tiny (the dog) then grabbed the book off my lap and started shredding it.

I blame the person FI bought him from. Their dogs basically had to act out and misbehave to even be noticed. I was hoping he might grow out of it, but he hasn't so far.

Tiny is a total AW. He needs attention 24/7. He has to either be on you or have his paw on you or he acts out. Its not that he doesn't get exercise. He goes for 10 miles of walk time minimum per day and gets tons of love and attention. Its just the second you stop paying attention to him like to use the restroom or take a shower he has to do something bad.