FI's furbaby vent

melbelleup

firebabe6519 said:

@lyndausvi The prior misbehaving was the dog taking away a book I was reading and ripping it up. He had just gone for a walk, so I gave him his dinner and sat down to read. But he wanted attention. I tell him no and redirect him to his dinner and go back to my book. Tiny (the dog) then grabbed the book off my lap and started shredding it. I blame the person FI bought him from. Their dogs basically had to act out and misbehave to even be noticed. I was hoping he might grow out of it, but he hasn't so far. Tiny is a total AW. He needs attention 24/7. He has to either be on you or have his paw on you or he acts out. Its not that he doesn't get exercise. He goes for 10 miles of walk time minimum per day and gets tons of love and attention. Its just the second you stop paying attention to him like to use the restroom or take a shower he has to do something bad.

Must be nice to do those things without a dog. I have at least one dog in the bathroom with me at a time. My puppy actually used to hop in the shower with me. No joke. I had to boot him out of my shower numerous times when he was younger. One day I just let him stay and he got soaked. He didn't do it again.


If you can't watch him- cage him. That way he can't act out. Best advice ever given to me. Treat him like a puppy. When you can't give him full attention, put him in a crate where he won't be destroying things.

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

Well it's a good thing he's happy right

Well you know this from all the time you pay attention to him right?

lyndausvi

firebabe6519 said:

@lyndausvi The prior misbehaving was the dog taking away a book I was reading and ripping out up. He had just gone for a walk, so I have him his dinner and sat down to read. But he wanted attention. I tell him no and redirect him to his dinner and go back to my book. Tiny (the dog) then grabbed the book off my lap and started shredding it. I blame the person FI bought him from. There dogs basically had to act out and misbehave to even be noticed. I was hoping he might grow out of it, bit he hasn't so far. Tiny is a total AW. He needs attention 24/7. He has to either be on you or have s paw on you or he acts out. Its not that he doesn't get exercise. He goes for 10 miles of walk time minimum per day and gets tons of love and attention. Its just the second you stop paying attention to him like to use the restroom or take a shower he has to do something bad.

It's time for more training.   Our trainer trained US more than the dog. 

My dog is AW. I call him the velcro dog because he always wants to be where I am.  Do not underestimate play time. It's really important to some dogs.    Being an English Bulldog I thought he would be lazy and mellow.  Nope, he loves to play often throughout the day,  even when I'm trying to work.  Because of the weather I can't take him on long walks, so I make sure I spend 10-15 minutes a few times during the day doing tug of war and fetch with him.  Then he sleeps for a while and I can work.

  If Chef D is really punchy I call my neighbors and arrange a play date with their EB puppy.   They also call me when their puppy needs play time.  It's funny the husband also works from home and texts me "does Chef need a play date?".  I'm always like 'YES'.  We get the dogs together for a few hours.  We both can work while they are playing. After these play dates the dogs are sleeping for HOURS.  It's awesome.  I also take Chef to doggie daycare a few times a month.     It's great way to tire them out.

Drewsgirl31

I know this from him running around with the kids and wagging his tail, from the jumps and licks he gives when he comes back in from using the restroom in the morning. Why does he have to be unhappy because one person out of 7 people on a daily basis doesn't give him the most attention?

Drewsgirl31

Please tell, does this look like a dog who is lacking attention or unhappy? No! Because he isn't. As I've stated countless times, he has hours of play time with the kids and my husband everyday. He's not lacking just because I don't have time to sit and play too

lyndausvi

rwhite0123 said:

Please tell, does this look like a dog who is lacking attention or unhappy? No! Because he isn't. As I've stated countless times, he has hours of play time with the kids and my husband everyday. He's not lacking just because I don't have time to sit and play too

I don't doubt he is happy with your kids and husband.  However, I think it's sad that the primary care taker hates him.  Can you imagine if your kids were in daycare and the primary caretaker there hated your kid?    Can't be good and over time might actually cause problems.   

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

Please tell, does this look like a dog who is lacking attention or unhappy? No! Because he isn't. As I've stated countless times, he has hours of play time with the kids and my husband everyday. He's not lacking just because I don't have time to sit and play too

I'm sorry you said you blatantly ignore the dog other than food and water and taking him out to go to the bathroom. You did not say 'I just don't have time to sit and play with him.' In fact you stated how much you absolutely hate this puppy.

A couple of pictures don't really attest to a primary caretaker ignoring an animal. Like @lyndausvi said 'I don't doubt he is happy with your kids and husband.  However, I think it's sad that the primary care taker hates him.' I think it's pretty sad as well and I'm happy that dog at least has part of a family to love him...even if you're unwilling to give the effort.

BTW you never answered my question. How many hours a day are you ignoring this animal as it's primary caretaker?

Fran1985

I can't believe people spank/swat their dogs. Or hate their dogs. Jesus christ people if you don't know how to train and care for a dog don't get one. Dogs are a ton of work. Did you not know that going in? Some of these posts were seriously upsetting.

I rescued a pointer mix. He has sooo much energy. Do I get mad at him for it? No, I make sure he gets at least 5 miles in every single day. 

Drewsgirl31

Unfortunately I worked in day cares for quite a few years and I've seen teachers that pick favorites and hardly interact with every child in their class all day. One of the reasons I started watching kids on my own and keep it to just a few so I can give them all my attention.

You're right I did say that as that's basically what happens when I'm making multiple meals/snacks/bottles, changing diapers and potty training, putting them littlest one down for multiple naps plus the older ones after nap, playing, story time, cleaning up, then onto normal household duties when they are all asleep at the same time (that rarely happens) or when the others leave for the day. Do no there is not much time for me to plAy with the dog even if I wanted to.

I get up at 7, let the dog out ( pet him, scratch his ears while I'm putting the leash on and off, clean his paws off, pat his stomach a few times say good boy.) go over get his food and water start making my kids breakfast and getting my daughter ready for school. I get all the other kids between 8-8:30. He's out all day. If he's following me I'll stop and pet him give him a mini bone and he goes to his bed to tear that apart. He goes out at least every 2 hours and gets the same pats and scratches as he did in the morning. During nap time he'll lay on the bed while I'm doing laundry our of I have nothing to do he'll lay on the couch with me or on the floor at my feet and rub my feet on him. Older kids get here after school and take him outside to run around and play fetch. Baby leaves between 3 & 5:30 start dinner, feed dog (same routine as before) help older kids with homework. Husband comes home 5:30-6:30, older boys leave, we eat, he takes over playing with kids I clean up from dinner, take care if house stuff (laundry, dishes, sweeping, picking up from the kids), finish homework with daughter if there's any left, give my youngest a bath, put him to bed. I watch maybe a half hour of tv with my husband, dog is usually on the floor in front of us and I'll scratch his stomach if I'm laying down or rub with my feet if I'm sitting up. Husband lets him out and he goes in his cage for the night.

So yes while I don't like him, I do not have time to give him my attention all the time even if I wanted to. I wasn't trying to not answer your question but kinda figured with the stay at home mom comment, I am home all day long.

Fran1985

rwhite0123 said:

Unfortunately I worked in day cares for quite a few years and I've seen teachers that pick favorites and hardly interact with every child in their class all day. One of the reasons I started watching kids on my own and keep it to just a few so I can give them all my attention. You're right I did say that as that's basically what happens when I'm making multiple meals/snacks/bottles, changing diapers and potty training, putting them littlest one down for multiple naps plus the older ones after nap, playing, story time, cleaning up, then onto normal household duties when they are all asleep at the same time (that rarely happens) or when the others leave for the day. Do no there is not much time for me to plAy with the dog even if I wanted to. I get up at 7, let the dog out ( pet him, scratch his ears while I'm putting the leash on and off, clean his paws off, pat his stomach a few times say good boy.) go over get his food and water start making my kids breakfast and getting my daughter ready for school. I get all the other kids between 8-8:30. He's out all day. If he's following me I'll stop and pet him give him a mini bone and he goes to his bed to tear that apart. He goes out at least every 2 hours and gets the same pats and scratches as he did in the morning. During nap time he'll lay on the bed while I'm doing laundry our of I have nothing to do he'll lay on the couch with me or on the floor at my feet and rub my feet on him. Older kids get here after school and take him outside to run around and play fetch. Baby leaves between 3 & 5:30 start dinner, feed dog (same routine as before) help older kids with homework. Husband comes home 5:30-6:30, older boys leave, we eat, he takes over playing with kids I clean up from dinner, take care if house stuff (laundry, dishes, sweeping, picking up from the kids), finish homework with daughter if there's any left, give my youngest a bath, put him to bed. I watch maybe a half hour of tv with my husband, dog is usually on the floor in front of us and I'll scratch his stomach if I'm laying down or rub with my feet if I'm sitting up. Husband lets him out and he goes in his cage for the night. So yes while I don't like him, I do not have time to give him my attention all the time even if I wanted to. I wasn't trying to not answer your question but kinda figured with the stay at home mom comment, I am home all day long.

So you were either lying before or lying now, because you said that you hate him and ignore him. My guess would be you are lying now.

Drewsgirl31

I'm not lying in either post, just because I hate him doesn't mean I'm mean to him. You know the statement of being kind to people you dislike, same thing applies here.

Drewsgirl31

You also didn't read that full post, I said I ignore him with the exception of when it's time to feed him and let him out. In another post I said ignore might be the wrong word to use but is essentially what happens because I don't have time to interact with him during the day when I am taking care of 5 other kids. So please do not call me a liar when you didn't read this whole thread and all of my comments

lyndausvi

I get it, you do not have time for a puppy.   It's okay to admit that.  Not everyone does.  However if you want to keep this dog for your kids then you need to find time.  It's not fair to you or the puppy.   You are the one who is home all day with him which makes you a pack leader.  If you can't handle the responsibility of being the pack leader something needs to be done.   Without a strong pack leader a dog will run the place and your hate for the dog might increase.  Worse yet the dog will act out on one of the kids.

Drewsgirl31

I am admitting it, haven't tried to deny, tried to get that through my husbands head when he came home and told me he had a surprise and had already paid the deposit. Our son had just turned 1 and knew I was taking on more kids to help bring money in. Tied into the fact I've never had a dog, I didn't want and knew we weren't ready for one yet. So what are some suggestions then that I can do to give him more time? I can't take him to a dog park to go out back and play, no fence in the yard and he will take off towards the other dogs in our cul de sac, I just don't know how to interact more with him when I'm constantly taking care or doing things for the kids.

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

Unfortunately I worked in day cares for quite a few years and I've seen teachers that pick favorites and hardly interact with every child in their class all day. One of the reasons I started watching kids on my own and keep it to just a few so I can give them all my attention. You're right I did say that as that's basically what happens when I'm making multiple meals/snacks/bottles, changing diapers and potty training, putting them littlest one down for multiple naps plus the older ones after nap, playing, story time, cleaning up, then onto normal household duties when they are all asleep at the same time (that rarely happens) or when the others leave for the day. Do no there is not much time for me to plAy with the dog even if I wanted to. I get up at 7, let the dog out ( pet him, scratch his ears while I'm putting the leash on and off, clean his paws off, pat his stomach a few times say good boy.) go over get his food and water start making my kids breakfast and getting my daughter ready for school. I get all the other kids between 8-8:30. He's out all day. If he's following me I'll stop and pet him give him a mini bone and he goes to his bed to tear that apart. He goes out at least every 2 hours and gets the same pats and scratches as he did in the morning. During nap time he'll lay on the bed while I'm doing laundry our of I have nothing to do he'll lay on the couch with me or on the floor at my feet and rub my feet on him. Older kids get here after school and take him outside to run around and play fetch. Baby leaves between 3 & 5:30 start dinner, feed dog (same routine as before) help older kids with homework. Husband comes home 5:30-6:30, older boys leave, we eat, he takes over playing with kids I clean up from dinner, take care if house stuff (laundry, dishes, sweeping, picking up from the kids), finish homework with daughter if there's any left, give my youngest a bath, put him to bed. I watch maybe a half hour of tv with my husband, dog is usually on the floor in front of us and I'll scratch his stomach if I'm laying down or rub with my feet if I'm sitting up. Husband lets him out and he goes in his cage for the night. So yes while I don't like him, I do not have time to give him my attention all the time even if I wanted to. I wasn't trying to not answer your question but kinda figured with the stay at home mom comment, I am home all day long.

Okay so my responses were based on you only taking him out when necessary and feeding him but not showing him any other attention. It's great that you have a passion and provide your time to your kids as well as others. In fact I find any caretaker of children who applies passion and care to their job to be admirable.

If you are giving him attention (belly rubs, ear scratches, etc). then you aren't really ignoring him. I do admit I must have missed when you said 'ignore may not be the right word.' Still hate is a strong word so it gives the impression you really don't care for the animal despite saying you do.

Is it perhaps less of a hate and more of growing pains because he is a hyper puppy who may not be on his best behavior 100% of the time (as all puppies are learning and growing)? I honestly just cannot understand owning an animal, hating it, but still applying the same care as it needs like anyone who loves it. This is just not a frame of mind I am familiar with so it's a lack of understanding on my part. If you are doing the things you have said in this post then I wouldn't consider that ignoring him either.

BTW this is all coming from someone with two rescue animals, one of which was neglected and abused. My little one (6lbs) took almost two years to rehabilitate due to the damage that was done to her. She is now a happy healthy sweetheart as result of a lot of patience and love. I know you aren't abusing the dog but obviously I feel strongly about these things due to my experience. I have seen so many puppies who don't get the care they needed because someone hated them. Someone didn't have the time or patience to take care of them. It's sad.

I suggest maybe taking some time out (I know you are busy but make the time, he is important to your husband and kids so he should be to you) to take him to puppy classes. This would be a great bonding time for you and him, maybe you'll even learn something from him. Maybe even grow to like or love him. He hasn't had the time on this Earth that you have had. His experience is limited and he's just trying to learn from his pack.

lyndausvi

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people. 

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you.   That would piss me off to no end.   Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay.   Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog?   You might resent  the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place. 

melbelleup

Is it bad that I would LOVE my FI to surprise me with another dog?

Drewsgirl31

Hate is probably the wrong word once again and it stemmed from a very rough day with him and all the kids yesterday. Everyone has had cabin fever from Christmas break going almost a whole week longer than it was supposed to. We have a ranch house which gets cramped and the kids get stir crazy and wind the dog up even more than he usually is. So no I don't really hate him but there are times I question how much I really like him. In all honesty he's not a bad dog, and I guess it would be growing pains and I'm still learning. Like my previous post said this is my first dog, I had 2 full days home with my husband when we got him and I was pretty much left on my own to figure out cues and how to train him. Luckily he's smart and learns quick. I chose the word ignore because I feel like that's what it would be considered since I'm not with him like my husband and kids are. But I do pet him if he's by me or interact if I have a minute just not like most pet owners do. Like in my breakdown of my day, my only calm moments are occasionally during nap time or when it's time to go to bed.

I do swear on my kids and my marriage I have not and would never abuse my dog, and I didn't consider what I do emotional abuse or neglect because I meet his basic needs during the day and the kids and husband stimulate him and give him all the attention and play that I can't during the day.

We're going to take him to obedience school that starts next month. It's the first class that I've been able to go to with all of our schedules and I'm very much looking forward to it. I do not want to dislike/hate my dog. Like my very first post said I always thought I was a dog person. I've always loved being around friends dogs, playing with them, cuddling etc, I didn't know what all went into raising them. They're definitely not like cats (or the one I had anyways) that liked to be left alone and all I did with him wad feed and change his litter and pet him when he decided he wanted to be handled. He was a rescue and we had to return him after he clawed my daughter face in her sleep one night.

So anyways, this is all new to me. I apologize for being defensive and upsetting any of you with my choice of words especially the first post that was written in the heat of the moment.

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

Hate is probably the wrong word once again and it stemmed from a very rough day with him and all the kids yesterday. Everyone has had cabin fever from Christmas break going almost a whole week longer than it was supposed to. We have a ranch house which gets cramped and the kids get stir crazy and wind the dog up even more than he usually is. So no I don't really hate him but there are times I question how much I really like him. In all honesty he's not a bad dog, and I guess it would be growing pains and I'm still learning. Like my previous post said this is my first dog, I had 2 full days home with my husband when we got him and I was pretty much left on my own to figure out cues and how to train him. Luckily he's smart and learns quick. I chose the word ignore because I feel like that's what it would be considered since I'm not with him like my husband and kids are. But I do pet him if he's by me or interact if I have a minute just not like most pet owners do. Like in my breakdown of my day, my only calm moments are occasionally during nap time or when it's time to go to bed. I do swear on my kids and my marriage I have not and would never abuse my dog, and I didn't consider what I do emotional abuse or neglect because I meet his basic needs during the day and the kids and husband stimulate him and give him all the attention and play that I can't during the day. We're going to take him to obedience school that starts next month. It's the first class that I've been able to go to with all of our schedules and I'm very much looking forward to it. I do not want to dislike/hate my dog. Like my very first post said I always thought I was a dog person. I've always loved being around friends dogs, playing with them, cuddling etc, I didn't know what all went into raising them. They're definitely not like cats (or the one I had anyways) that liked to be left alone and all I did with him wad feed and change his litter and pet him when he decided he wanted to be handled. He was a rescue and we had to return him after he clawed my daughter face in her sleep one night. So anyways, this is all new to me. I apologize for being defensive and upsetting any of you with my choice of words especially the first post that was written in the heat of the moment.

You're fine at least by me at this point. It appears you were just frustrated and have a lot taking up your time. Glad to know you are already scheduling to take him to obedience school. I think that will work wonders for how you are feeling.

My best advice for obedience school is to remember the dog has to learn from you since you are his primary caretaker. Just remember to practice with him and be patient as it will not be an instant fix by any means. You have to make time for that practice and it is a lot of work. You could definitely get your kids involved though since he needs to listen to them as well. A dog is a great learning buddy for kids.

Good luck and hope you two can bond and learn from each other.

MairePoppy

firebabe6519 said:

He is full grown, and has been through several obedience classes. Also neutered. He always tries to test the limits with someone new. I've tried just rubbing his nose in it, but he thinks that's a game and just gets all excited. :-/ FI and I already use what the trainer suggested to teach him what's not ok. I call it a "spanking" but its just showing them what behavior was unacceptable and then using something like an empty water bottle or newspaper (something that makes a loud noise) and swat the dog with it. Supposedly it works, but I haven't seen it yet with the air horn. 

I give you credit for realizing what you have tried, so far, doesn't work. Sticking his nose in it doesn't work. If it did, you'd only have to do it once, right? The air horn thing might work with some dogs, but there are other methods you can try, that are kinder and will teach the dog to respect you, rather than be afraid of you or the air horn.

I'm not faulting you, you're taking care of Fi's (?) dog, during a family crisis. This isn't a pet that you selected, but if the dog is going to be living with you, after your married, find a new trainer. 

There are various training methods. My most recent adventure, with my new pup, is clicker training. I wasn't completely sold on it, at first, but was very impressed by the end of our first session. The puppy loves being trained with the clicker method. When I grab the clicker, both dogs come running to me for a training session. The other never even attended a class, she just picked up on the positive reinforcement method by watching me work with the puppy.

Drewsgirl31

lyndausvi said:

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people. 

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you.   That would piss me off to no end.   Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay.   Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog?   You might resent  the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place. 

Sorry he didn't show up with the dog, he showed up with all the supplies and his new collar and told me he had already paid the deposit and that we were getting a dog. We drive 5.5 hours to get him 3 weeks later.

MairePoppy

rwhite0123 said:

We can't just get rid of him, it said so in our contract. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean my husband and kids do and I would never take their dog away just because I don't like him. So as I said, other than to care for him, I don't have much to do with him.

I'd be willing to bet that if you call the breeder and tell her you hate to dog, she will be fine with you finding him a suitable home. I don't think there's much point in offering you other suggestions, because you're not interested. So I won't waste my time.

melbelleup

MairePoppy said:

rwhite0123 said:

We can't just get rid of him, it said so in our contract. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean my husband and kids do and I would never take their dog away just because I don't like him. So as I said, other than to care for him, I don't have much to do with him.

I'd be willing to bet that if you call the breeder and tell her you hate to dog, she will be fine with you finding him a suitable home. I don't think there's much point in offering you other suggestions, because you're not interested. So I won't waste my time.

If you read through, I already stated the dog must go back to the breeder in that case.. and the OP said in the contract the dog does go back to the breeder. No reason to find it a new home. He just goes back to his original owner.

Drewsgirl31

But yes it did piss me off and was literally the worst fight we've ever had in our 6 years together. Between him and my daughter they obviously won the argument and we now have Zeek. And she's in charge of him when she's home lol it's part of her daily duties to run out back with him, use the pooper scooper and feed him. That is an interesting thought of why I may not *like* him. Because I've have tried figuring it out of what it is that just doesn't click between him and I like it did for the rest of the family. That very well could be a big part of it. Hmmm what would an in home trainer do or what are you thinking on the 3rd party talk with my husband?

lyndausvi

rwhite0123 said:

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people. 

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you.   That would piss me off to no end.   Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay.   Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog?   You might resent  the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place. 

Sorry he didn't show up with the dog, he showed up with all the supplies and his new collar and told me he had already paid the deposit and that we were getting a dog. We drive 5.5 hours to get him 3 weeks later.

Essentially the same thing in my book.  HE made the decision without consulting you.  Pretty shitty in my book.  

My DH always wanted a dog and I knew that. I like dogs also, so not a problem.  However TOGETHER we found a dog, TOGETHER we picked out the right dog for our personality.  

Right now I want another dog.  It would be great for Chef to have a sibling. However, I would NEVER go get him without consulting him.  It think would be disrespectful.

 It seems like you are more overwhelmed then really hate the dog.  Good luck with training.  We found out that WE were the ones being trained and not really he dog.  Ha.

Drewsgirl31

MairePoppy said:

rwhite0123 said:

We can't just get rid of him, it said so in our contract. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean my husband and kids do and I would never take their dog away just because I don't like him. So as I said, other than to care for him, I don't have much to do with him.

I'd be willing to bet that if you call the breeder and tell her you hate to dog, she will be fine with you finding him a suitable home. I don't think there's much point in offering you other suggestions, because you're not interested. So I won't waste my time.

Seriously? If you're going to make a comment about not "offering me other suggestions when I'm not interested" make sure you read the whole damn thread! I actually did ask for suggestions on what I could do to incorporate more interaction with him! I also explained my use of the word hate and ignore.

lyndausvi

melbelleup said:

Is it bad that I would LOVE my FI to surprise me with another dog?

I want another dog, but want it to be a joint decision.  

PolarBearFitz

rwhite0123 said:

But yes it did piss me off and was literally the worst fight we've ever had in our 6 years together. Between him and my daughter they obviously won the argument and we now have Zeek. And she's in charge of him when she's home lol it's part of her daily duties to run out back with him, use the pooper scooper and feed him. That is an interesting thought of why I may not *like* him. Because I've have tried figuring it out of what it is that just doesn't click between him and I like it did for the rest of the family. That very well could be a big part of it. Hmmm what would an in home trainer do or what are you thinking on the 3rd party talk with my husband?

To the bolded, that is great that your daughter is tasked with helping care for him.  I think the in home trainer would probably be better for your time constraints. But getting you out of the house and alone with the dog at an outside trainer would allow you to get better acquainted with each other on your own terms.

Dogs should definitely be a joint decision as you both have to accept the responsibility and time. Sounds like you didn't get any input on that and spend the most time with Mr. Zeek. Sorry your husband did not consult you properly that seems selfish and discourteous on his part. A trainer in the home with you and your husband may help him to see how much work is needed from you.

MairePoppy she has been open to suggestions and explained the real issues with her husband purchasing the dog without her consent. Please read her other responses.

melbelleup

rwhite0123 said:

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people. 

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you.   That would piss me off to no end.   Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay.   Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog?   You might resent  the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place. 

Sorry he didn't show up with the dog, he showed up with all the supplies and his new collar and told me he had already paid the deposit and that we were getting a dog. We drive 5.5 hours to get him 3 weeks later.

Essentially the same thing in my book.  HE made the decision without consulting you.  Pretty shitty in my book.  

My DH always wanted a dog and I knew that. I like dogs also, so not a problem.  However TOGETHER we found a dog, TOGETHER we picked out the right dog for our personality.  

Right now I want another dog.  It would be great for Chef to have a sibling. However, I would NEVER go get him without consulting him.  It think would be disrespectful.

 It seems like you are more overwhelmed then really hate the dog.  Good luck with training.  We found out that WE were the ones being trained and not really he dog.  Ha.


Stuck in box....

I would totally bring another dog into my house without consulting FI.. but I'm also the more level headed one in my relationship. If I thought I had the money and the time for a third, I'd be getting a third next year from the same breeder I got my current pup from. That being said, because I do show and train my dogs, plus vet bills, plus heart worm prevention, plus not having a fenced back yard.... I'm going to have to pass . I add in training and showing because each show is about $60 per dog. Training is $75 per dog for 6 weeks. Their food costs me $55 per dog every 3 months. Their heart worm prevention is $250 per dog per year. Needless to say, dogs aren't cheap dates in my house. Plus, two nights at emergency vet clinic for just tests and fluids cost me $650 on my girl last March. Luckily, my parents split the cost with me.. not that they needed to, but I don't refuse financial help.

Whoever think dogs are cheap... best look for a cat or smaller pet. lol.

(Sorry for price rant lol, we had talks of third dog yesterday)

Drewsgirl31

lyndausvi said:

rwhite0123 said:

lyndausvi said:

I suggest getting a trainer to come to the house to have (for a lack of a better verse) "come to Jesus' moment on the subject for your husband. Sometimes a 3rd party opinion gets through to people. 

Then there is the other issue with your husband not consulting you on something that clearly effects you.   That would piss me off to no end.   Seriously, had my husband showed up with a dog without telling me there would be hell to pay.   Have to wonder if that is part of the problem on why you hate the dog?   You might resent  the dog because your husband didn't consulting you in the first place. 

Sorry he didn't show up with the dog, he showed up with all the supplies and his new collar and told me he had already paid the deposit and that we were getting a dog. We drive 5.5 hours to get him 3 weeks later.

Essentially the same thing in my book.  HE made the decision without consulting you.  Pretty shitty in my book.  

My DH always wanted a dog and I knew that. I like dogs also, so not a problem.  However TOGETHER we found a dog, TOGETHER we picked out the right dog for our personality.  

Right now I want another dog.  It would be great for Chef to have a sibling. However, I would NEVER go get him without consulting him.  It think would be disrespectful.

 It seems like you are more overwhelmed then really hate the dog.  Good luck with training.  We found out that WE were the ones being trained and not really he dog.
 Ha.

We also talked about getting a dog, I've personally wanted a Yorkie for about as long as I can remember. Or a smaller lap dog. We agreed a tiny dog like that would have to come later when our son wasn't so little and wouldn't hurt it. He on the other hand likes big dogs (his dream dog is a Great Dane) so we talked about getting one a few years down the road. He started looking up breeds that are great with kids families and found the Vizsla. Only trouble with them is that they are hard to find, crazy expensive, and usually breeders won't talk to you unless you do hunting shows or the other dog shows (not sure what they're called) he started looking up breeders and found most have a couple litter waiting list and usually takes a few years. We found a guy that lives in our state and started talking to him. He contacted my husband and said someone who had claimed one of the puppies backed and asked if he was interested that he wasn't planning on anymore litters after this one. So husband said ok and thought I would be ok/happy about it since we had said yes, in the future. Now we have Zeek.