Wedding Party

Bridesmaid drama..help!!!

I had a huge fall out with one of my very best friends two years ago so when I got engaged last spring I had no choice but to push the thought of ever having her in my wedding out of my mind even though it hurt a lot. I don't have a lot of close friends and, to make things worse my fiancé is Mr. social and wanted to like five people each. We finally settled on three each so I chose my oldest best friend, a newer close friend of about five years and a brand new friend even though we still did not know much about each other. BIG MISTAKE ...now, with less than five months until wedding day she bailed on me and I'm left with just the two. I don't mind uneven wedding parties however, I recently rekindled my friendship with the original best friend and I really want to ask her. My dilemmas: this is a destination wedding and she has recently told me she has seven weddings to attend in 2014, she's in four and two are destination. The other issue is she knows about the third bridesmaid bailing and I wouldn't want her to feel I only asked her to fill the spot. I also don't want to pressure her into being in my wedding or even making the not so cheap trip to Punta Cana on five months notice. Do I ask her anyways? And if so....how????? Thanks for any help!!!!

Re: Bridesmaid drama..help!!!

  • I say invite her as a guest and have uneven sides. You are just starting to rekindle your friendship, this could add stress to a still rebuilding friendship.  

  • I had a huge fall out with one of my very best friends two years ago so when I got engaged last spring I had no choice but to push the thought of ever having her in my wedding out of my mind even though it hurt a lot. I don't have a lot of close friends and, to make things worse my fiancé is Mr. social and wanted to like five people each. We finally settled on three each so I chose my oldest best friend, a newer close friend of about five years and a brand new friend even though we still did not know much about each other. BIG MISTAKE ...now, with less than five months until wedding day she bailed on me and I'm left with just the two. I don't mind uneven wedding parties however, I recently rekindled my friendship with the original best friend and I really want to ask her. My dilemmas: this is a destination wedding and she has recently told me she has seven weddings to attend in 2014, she's in four and two are destination. The other issue is she knows about the third bridesmaid bailing and I wouldn't want her to feel I only asked her to fill the spot. I also don't want to pressure her into being in my wedding or even making the not so cheap trip to Punta Cana on five months notice. Do I ask her anyways? And if so....how????? Thanks for any help!!!!
    Nope. 

    I should hope you don't mind uneven sides, since it doesn't matter in the slightest. If you ask her to "fill the spot" you're treating her as a second-stringer replacement. You're going to make her feel like crap and look like you care more about the look of your wedding than the people in it. 

    Just invite her as a guest and call it a day.
    image
  • Ditto PPs; Invite her as a guest.



  • I'm with everyone else. Invite her as a guest but don't ask her to be a BM. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • mainiac1020mainiac1020 member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2014
    PDKH, I guess you misunderstood the part where I was concerned that I didn't want her to FEEL she was there to fill the spot. Even if I had a hundred bridesmaids I would still have this dilemma and want to ask her.
  • I guess I don't get it. Is this supposed to be more of a concern for you about the way I wrote my question or supposed to be in reference to the actual question. Either way, thanks for nothing.
    Vic was not poking fun at you at all.  The "Grammar" thing is part of her signature line and will show up anytime she posts, whether it be on this board or another.  Some people have wedding timelines, pics, gif's, etc., so don't take it to heart.

    P.S.  I agree with PP's.  (previous posters btw)

     

  • Ask her to be a guest.  At this point the bridal party boat has sailed.

    It is okay to have uneven sides.
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