Large Time Gap Between Ceremony and Reception

PrettyGirlLost

carliealissa said:

OK, I'm in a similar situation as the OP (did you find a solution yet?) and I don't see any way around having a 2.5 hour gap between the end of our ceremony and the start of of our cocktail hour.  Why?  Why can't you start your cocktail hour right after your ceremony minus driving time allowance?  Because you want and are choosing to have an evening ceremony?  I was a little concerned til now that it was a bit too long, but now I'm worried because you all are making it seem like it's the worst thing that could possibly ever happen??  A 2.5hr gap sucks!  I'm also confused- as a guest, at least half the weddings I have attended had a two-hour-or-so gap.  It has never bothered me or any of my friends  That's great that you didn't mind, but you are rationalizing something that most people consider to be rude, whether they actually say anything or not; if anything, I preferred it.  Depending on the situation, we would utilize that time to have cocktails/appetizers and catch up with other guests at a nearby restaurant or the hotel.  Or even, gave me that extra flexibility to go back to the hotel room, freshen up, style my hair better, etc. and relax.  As a guest I HATE getting all dressed up to go to a ceremony, and then having to piss around and find something to do for a few hours before going to the reception.  It's annoying to sit around in the hotel room or to go get drinks/food just for the sake of doing something to kill time, and it breaks up the flow of the day.  For local weddings, the same- just gathering in someone else's hotel room.  For local weddings this is even worse because the temptation is just to go home and stay there, rather than waste time, gas, and money driving around, getting something to eat just for the sake of killing time, etc.  For me, it has never been anything but extra bonus time to enjoy the day.  Could this be a regional or age related thing?  I can see that it might not always be the most convenient, sure, but I'm really surprised by the unanimous vehemently negative reactions.

And not sure what to do about it for our own wedding

Move your cocktail hour up so that you don't have a gap. 

Why do you have a gap in the first place?  Is it because your ceremony is in the afternoon but you want an evening reception, or is it because you are driving off somewhere far off site to take photos?

photokitty

carliealissa said: OK, I'm in a similar situation as the OP (did you find a solution yet?) and I don't see any way around having a 2.5 hour gap between the end of our ceremony and the start of of our cocktail hour.  I was a little concerned til now that it was a bit too long, but now I'm worried because you all are making it seem like it's the worst thing that could possibly ever happen??  I'm also confused- as a guest, at least half the weddings I have attended had a two-hour-or-so gap.  It has never bothered me or any of my friends; if anything, I preferred it.  Depending on the situation, we would utilize that time to have cocktails/appetizers and catch up with other guests at a nearby restaurant or the hotel.  Or even, gave me that extra flexibility to go back to the hotel room, freshen up, style my hair better, etc. and relax.  For local weddings, the same- just gathering in someone else's hotel room.  For me, it has never been anything but extra bonus time to enjoy the day.  Could this be a regional or age related thing?  I can see that it might not always be the most convenient, sure, but I'm really surprised by the unanimous vehemently negative reactions.And not sure what to do about it for our own wedding

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I think it could be age related, but it is rude regardless of age. Would your older relatives feel the same way? Do they really want to go to a bar and hang out? What about friends who don't know a lot of people at the wedding? 

I have been the a number a weddings with a 2 hours gap and always been SUPER annoyed. I don't want to go get drinks and apps during a break, I've got to pay for them. I'm all dressed up and now I have to sit at BW3's so you can have the dream wedding? I don't need to restyle my hair, I did it before the ceremony. Why do people think it is ok to inconvenience the guests so they can have 2 hours of photos? Or the ceremony they want and the reception they want, even if it means being rude to your guests?

Gaps are the reason people think it is only to only attend the receptions - and quite frankly I can't blame them. I would never skip a ceremony, but I have wanted to badly when a gap is involved.

Sorry, but that's how I feel about them…and I grew up Catholic in circle where people constantly justified these gaps. It's never ok to have an unheated gap. Host food and beverages at the hotel if you must wait to start the reception.

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pinkshorts27

With a gap, my grandma probably wouldn't make it to the reception. She only has so much energy. Also my older aunts and uncles wouldn't know what to do. And some of my family simply don't have the money to spend on drinks at a bar. I couldn't see anyone over the age of 40 in my family being interested in that. 

FiancB

carliealissa said:

OK, I'm in a similar situation as the OP (did you find a solution yet?) and I don't see any way around having a 2.5 hour gap between the end of our ceremony and the start of of our cocktail hour.  I was a little concerned til now that it was a bit too long, but now I'm worried because you all are making it seem like it's the worst thing that could possibly ever happen??  I'm also confused- as a guest, at least half the weddings I have attended had a two-hour-or-so gap.  It has never bothered me or any of my friends; if anything, I preferred it.  Depending on the situation, we would utilize that time to have cocktails/appetizers and catch up with other guests at a nearby restaurant or the hotel.  Or even, gave me that extra flexibility to go back to the hotel room, freshen up, style my hair better, etc. and relax.  For local weddings, the same- just gathering in someone else's hotel room.  For me, it has never been anything but extra bonus time to enjoy the day.  Could this be a regional or age related thing?  I can see that it might not always be the most convenient, sure, but I'm really surprised by the unanimous vehemently negative reactions.

And not sure what to do about it for our own wedding

That's all well and good when you know people to go catch up with, or you have a hotel to go to. There will almost certainly be people that don't- for example, SOs of the wedding party. FI has been in some weddings that were pretty dreadful for me since I couldn't tag along. Also, it's rude to have an unhosted gap more than anything.

The more I think about it, the more I think I want an earlier reception so that we can go out for an after party and let the real fun begin It'll be okay. Like others said, people will probably be hungry by then anyway.

Chipmunk415

Friend of mine had a 3 pm ceremony, and a 6:30 reception. For the 2 hrs between ceremony and reception, she had an afternoon "tea" in the fellowship hall. Talk to your parish, they may be able to help you arrange something.

Chipmunk415

Whatever you do, don't have a huge, unhosted gap while you take pictures, drink, and go bowling.