Wedding Invitations & Paper

How to address the envelopes properly?

For a married couple with the same last name, is it:
1. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Mary Smith?
2. Mr. Joseph Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith?

For a married couple with different last names, is it:
1. Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Johnson?
2. Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Johnson?

For an unmarried couple, is it:
1. Mr. James Brown [separate line] Ms. Jennifer White?

For a widow, is it:
1. Mrs. Susan Black?
2. Ms. Susan Black?


Does the man's name always come first? ALWAYS?

Re: How to address the envelopes properly?

  • MandyMost said:
    For a married couple with the same last name, is it:
    1. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Mary Smith?
    2. Mr. Joseph Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith?

    3. It's Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith


    For a married couple with different last names, is it:
    1. Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Johnson?
    2. Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Johnson?

    I think it depends on the person if they go by Mrs. or Ms. I would do Ms. if you're unsure.

    For an unmarried couple, is it:
    1. Mr. James Brown [separate line] Ms. Jennifer White?

    Correct:
    Mr. James Brown
    Ms. Jennifer White

    For a widow, is it:
    1. Mrs. Susan Black?
    2. Ms. Susan Black?

    This depends on the person. Most go back to Ms. , but people do keep the Mrs. as well. Once again, when in doubt, fall back to Ms.

    Does the man's name always come first? ALWAYS?

    Always.

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  • MandyMost said:
    For a married couple with the same last name, is it:
    1. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Mary Smith?
    2. Mr. Joseph Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith?

    They would be addressed Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith (a man's first and last name should not be separated). 

    For a married couple with different last names, is it:
    1. Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Johnson?
    2. Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Johnson?

    They would be addressed:
    Ms. Jane Johnson
    and Mr. John Doe
    (separate lines, ladies first, use "Ms.")

    For an unmarried couple, is it:
    1. Mr. James Brown [separate line] Ms. Jennifer White?

    For an unmarried couple living together they are addressed:
    Ms. Jennifer White
    Mr. James Brown
    (ladies first, separate lines, no "and")

    Unmarried couples not living together are technically supposed to receive invitations separately at their own addresses but etiquette on this is changing so it's considered fine to send the invite addressed to both people at one address.  Many couples find it annoying to receive invites separately and it's a victimless crime to just send one invite to both people at one address.  

    In this case, put the name of the person who physically resides at the address where you are sending the invite.  Put the other party's name on the second line, just as you would if they live together (no "and").  This might mean the man's name is going to be on the first line, this is fine so as to not confuse the post office/ mail carrier if the male is the one who lives there. 

    For a widow, is it:
    1. Mrs. Susan Black?
    2. Ms. Susan Black?

    For a widow, she is "Mrs. Susan Black," unless she has indicated that she prefers Ms. 


    Does the man's name always come first? ALWAYS?
    Yes, always, according to traditional etiquette. 
    My answers are in bold type, and Crane has a very thorough list of addressing situations and how to handle them http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My answers are in bold type, and Crane has a very thorough list of addressing situations and how to handle them http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/
    I agree with everything but the purple highlighted. You contradicted yourself, the women's name should come first if it's a married couple with different last names, or an unmarried couple (unless the address is the man's address only).  So the men's name doesn't always come first, actually it doesn't usually come first.

    Also, don't send separate invitations to people in a relationship, unless you were going to invite them both if they break up.
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  • My answers are in bold type, and Crane has a very thorough list of addressing situations and how to handle them http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/
    I looked through that Crane website... apparently it's okay to call a female doctor "Mrs" or "Dr" but you can only call a male doctor "Dr". Sexist much?
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  • Whoops.  What I meant by that is that it's always "Mr." first if it's "Mr. and Mrs." and that you would use the man's name and not "Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith" or some such.

    There are plenty of arguments for this being sexist (and I'm not disagreeing with that sentiment at all), but Crane isn't the only source that says this is how it's done.  I personally would never address a female doctor as anything but "Dr.," just like I would address any male doctor as "Dr.," unless she prefers it that way. 
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  • We have a number of friends who are MDs and PhDs, but those are professional titles, and not social ones, so we're not planning to use them in any of our invites. If we knew someone felt strongly otherwise, we would of course honor their wishes. 

    I am extremely uncomfortable addressing anything as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" because I find it so obnoxiously sexist it makes me sick. While I know that it's the most "proper" way, there are a lot of out-dated things that were once "proper" that no one would ever consider doing in this day and age; I believe this needs to fall in with those outdated customs, and will be doing my part to make it so.  I'll need to find another way to address the envelopes. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2014
    MandyMost said:
    For a married couple with the same last name, is it:
    1. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Mary Smith?
    2. Mr. Joseph Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith?

    It is Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith.

    For a married couple with different last names, is it:
    1. Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Johnson?
    2. Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Johnson?

    It is Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Doe.

    For an unmarried couple, is it:
    1. Mr. James Brown [separate line] Ms. Jennifer White?

    It is Ms. Jennifer White/Mr. James Brown (on separate lines).

    For a widow, is it:
    1. Mrs. Susan Black?
    2. Ms. Susan Black?

    It is Mrs. Susan Black,  or if she is very traditional, Mrs. John Black.  It can be Ms. Susan Black if she prefers.

    Does the man's name always come first? ALWAYS?  His name always comes first in "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" and when he has a title, such as a political, military, or professional title, that he uses socially, as in "Dr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "The Honorable John Smith and Mrs. Smith."

  • I know it's not right, so I really shouldn't advocate it (don't beat me!) but I like when a couple who lives together is addressed on the same line with an "and" between them.

    Seems kind of silly to me that there's no distinction between a couple who lives together and the guest of guest A who doesn't live with guest A (although I suppose that's why they say you can send the guest their own invite, which is dumb).
    Anniversary
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