Wedding Etiquette Forum

"So as we get ready to send out invites..."

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Re: "So as we get ready to send out invites..."

  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Apparently, everybody and their mother knew about my engagement before I did because FI told his dad who told a couple family members who told other family members. I got some weird Facebook posts that didn't specify engagement/wedding (lots of smiley faces and "Yay!" type things), which I was really WTF about. I happened to get informed of my raise at work right around that time and couldn't for the life of me figure out how everyone knew about it!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    CaliMel11 said:
    Might have you beat: we had our engagement announced for us on facebook.  Well intentioned in-laws, but both sides of the family and several close friends are on facebook.  So we spent the rest of our private engagement time calling those closest to us and hoping we reached them before they saw on facebook.  Ended up being a beautiful memory and fun afternoon, but we would have liked to have made that choice.  

    Moral of the story:  beware of the facebook and the internets.
    Right?  My cousin and his wife just had a baby a few days ago.  And they took the baby to the chiropractor within hours or a day or so.  Well, the chiropractor snapped a pic and put it on FB before they even had a chance to post a pic and announce the birth.

    All I could think was how terribly rude of that chiropractor!  (Granted, I don't know all the circumstances.  Could be they gave the go ahead.)  And I told H that whenever we have a baby, we are telling everyone it stays off of social media until we announce.  We'd be the parents, for crying out loud!
    What the heck?
    The chiropractor is not allowed to do that. Medical information is protected legally and they cannot share it with anyone who is non family. This includes stating who their patients are. They should find a new chiropractor asap because that one clearly does not respect patient rights. Sure the patient is a baby, but that's absolutely no excuse.
    If the PARENTS share it, that's completely fine. But no doctor can share that stuff.


    As for those "you're not invited" cards, that's awful. If I got one of those it would make me want to send a nasty note back to the person.

    I luckily haven't had too many people insist on being invited. We spread via word of mouth almost immediately to everyone who is invited, so that they know about it in advance and can get time off of work. Strangely I did have a girl who I have hung out with all of twice pretty much insist that she would be invited to our wedding when I saw her last year. She told me that she "Really Hoped they would be invited"
    The problem is, we're only having 100 people. So I can't just invite random acquaintances.

    Annoyingly I do have family members that are well meaning but keep asking me planning details on FB publicly. I have actually had to delete their comments off of my wall and I responded via private message, or on their wall with generalized statements.
    It's not that I think our wedding is some event of the century or anything, but I personally don't like discussing super personal things like that on fb where everyone can see it.


    From the post, I get the impression that this may have been more of a family friend doing it who also does the chiropractic care of the mother.  I don't know though.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Wow, can't believe so many people had their engagement blasted on Facebook by others!  Talk about no boundaries.

    We didn't post anything about our engagement for at least three days.  Wanted to make sure we informed all the close friends and family in person or on the phone.  And we were moving that weekend so it was easy to stay offline.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Wow, can't believe so many people had their engagement blasted on Facebook by others!  Talk about no boundaries.

    We didn't post anything about our engagement for at least three days.  Wanted to make sure we informed all the close friends and family in person or on the phone.  And we were moving that weekend so it was easy to stay offline.
    I waited almost 2 weeks because I wanted to personally call all of our nearest and dearest. Plus, it just wasn't that big of a deal to me for every single person I'm FB friends with to know. Poor FI was getting so impatient with me - he wanted everyone to know he finally put a ring on it! lol
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Schatzi13 said:
    Our engagement was also announced on FB before we'd finished telling our families and closest friends. We'd gone out to lunch with part of the family, and it was up before we got home. I mean, thanks for being happy for us, but 1) not your news to announce; and 2) there was a reason it wasn't up there yet!

    A good friend found out about her brother's engagement from FB. He put it up there before calling her. (WTF?) They talk multiple times a week. She was, umm, not happy.
    Another cousin of mine posted on FB, "Got a really pretty ring today.  Gonna see if I get a chance to use it tonight."

    My mouth dropped at that one.  Apparently he set it so she couldn't see it but all his other friends could.  So he had dozens of people commenting including the FI-to-be's sister.  I couldn't help but think that someone would let it slip somehow.  It was so weird.  I would have been really annoyed with FI if he had done that.
  • DH and I waited a very long time to announce our engagement on FB. We told friends and family, but we just didn't change our FB statuses.

    One friend of mine saw me put 'in a relationship with DH' and texted me saying, 'congrats on your engagement,' because she knew me well enough to know that I don't usually put relationship stuff on FB. And in fact, by the time we put 'in a relationship with' on FB, we had been dating and were already engaged. Then later we changed it to 'engaged to' and then 'married to.'
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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