addressing guests' attire

phira

I wouldn't trust an etiquette book written before women were allowed to have credit cards in their own name, or could assume they could walk in public in pants without being arrested.

Look, OP, if you haven't GBCK'ed yet: I think you need to relax about your guests and focus on the details of your wedding. Have you gone shopping for attire? What food do you want to serve? DJ or band? Focus on the party that you're hosting, and not on your guests' attire or behavior.

PrettyGirlLost

nicolesands said:

Isn't formal & black tie the same thing? Because that's what I want!

No!

This are the criteria for a black tie event:

• Event begins after 6pm
• High end, indoor venue
  
• Valet service provided by the Bride and Groom
• Gloved service
• Hand passed hor d'ourves
  
• Top shelf open bar with full wine list and preferably with a sommelier on site to assist with wine choices.
  
• Multi course gourmet level plated meal- generally 5 to 7 courses, and preferably with dual entrees or tableside ordering
• Real china, silver ware, glassware, linens, etc
• Multi piece live band and and a DJ or secondary performers for when the main entertainment takes breaks
• High end decor and custom lighting

You can have a fancy, formal wedding but if you don't meet all of the above criteria you are not having a black tie event.

PrettyGirlLost

nicolesands said:

It's Catholic. Shoulders must be covered. No jeans or tennis shoes. The whole wedding is more formal/traditional.

No, it's not a Catholic thing.  It sounds like this is a dress requirement for your specific church, which just happens to be Catholic.

I'm getting married in a Catholic cathedral this year and there are no dress restrictions; I specifically asked my Pastor if shoulders had to be covered and he said no.

chibiyui

nicolesands said:

Sheesh! People are so hostile on this forum! Thanks, but I'm going to go with what my grandma's etiquette book from the 50s says. I wasn't sure if that etiquette was current, but after hearing all this, I really don't care if it's current any more. Peace out!

Have you had yiur maegarita yet?

Kauris

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

phira

chibiyui said:

Sheesh! People are so hostile on this forum! Thanks, but I'm going to go with what my grandma's etiquette book from the 50s says. I wasn't sure if that etiquette was current, but after hearing all this, I really don't care if it's current any more. Peace out!

Have you had yiur maegarita yet?

Also your signature, dying of laughter

jenniferurs

I often wonder about the grooms who marry people like this.

dolewhipper

kasmith1 said:

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

Oh. My. As a Christian, this is insane! "Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul"

phira

jenniferurs said:

I often wonder about the grooms who marry people like this.

Sometimes, I think that in a lot of these cases, you're dealing with a groom who thinks that wedding planning is 100% the bride's job and just plans on showing up wearing the suit or tux his fiancee picked out for him.

jenniferurs

phira said:

jenniferurs said:

I often wonder about the grooms who marry people like this.

Sometimes, I think that in a lot of these cases, you're dealing with a groom who thinks that wedding planning is 100% the bride's job and just plans on showing up wearing the suit or tux his fiancee picked out for him.

I get that part, but this attitude/reaction to adversity has to infiltrate other areas of their lives as well, right?

mimiphin

shannonmaya said:

kasmith1 said:

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

Oh. My. As a Christian, this is insane! "Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul"

OP may need to add "Women must wear a dress/skirt or risk eternal damnation" to her website!

kmmssg

shannonmaya said:

kasmith1 said:

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

Oh. My. As a Christian, this is insane! "Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul"

That seriously makes me ragey!  I am not Catholic but I wonder what the new Pope would think of that.  He seems like such a truly humble soul who would welcome anyone.

kmmssg

OP changed her screen name.

phira

jenniferurs said:

jenniferurs said:

I often wonder about the grooms who marry people like this.

Sometimes, I think that in a lot of these cases, you're dealing with a groom who thinks that wedding planning is 100% the bride's job and just plans on showing up wearing the suit or tux his fiancee picked out for him.

I get that part, but this attitude/reaction to adversity has to infiltrate other areas of their lives as well, right?

Yeah, I assume so. I'm mostly flabbergasted here.

JCbride2015

kmmssg said:

OP changed her screen name.

So is she intending to stick around?  If she really wanted to "peace out," wouldn't her sn not matter?

HisGirlFriday13

kmmssg said:

shannonmaya said:

kasmith1 said:

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

Oh. My. As a Christian, this is insane! "Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul"

That seriously makes me ragey!  I am not Catholic but I wonder what the new Pope would think of that.  He seems like such a truly humble soul who would welcome anyone. Yeah, it's also bullshit and not endorsed by the church. I *think* it's meant to be satire, although there's enough truth in it I'm not sure. But either way, the dressing thing is utter bullshit. 

Do I wish people would dress modestly in church? Yes. But I also wish people would dress modestly in general. Over the summer, DH and I saw a girl at church wearing a teal bra under a white strapless sundress with a bolero over top. The dress kept falling down and she had to keep hiking it back up, but there was a good inch between the top of the dress and the bra, and then between the bra and the bolero, and she was all of like, 16, and I couldn't help but think, "WTF are you people thinking, you parents of hers, that you let her dress like this for church?!?!"

/rant

ootmother2

Shame on all of you!!

I absolutely remember that in 1983, an old neighbor of my parents, about 50 or so, wore a VERY daring off the shoulder white gauze "mexican wedding gown" type dress to my brother's wedding!

I'm quite amazed the marriage lasted becuase the wedding was actually held in a lovely Catholic church!  I believe the pastor died shortly after that.

 

artbyallie

"They will have to answer to God for each incident where they scandalized one of the faithful. They will also have to answer to God for every incident where they seduced one of the members of the Church because of the way they were dressed."

LMAO!! If someone is seduced by my spaghetti straps, they had serious willpower problems in the first place.

PrettyGirlLost

artbyallie said:

"They will have to answer to God for each incident where they scandalized one of the faithful. They will also have to answer to God for every incident where they seduced one of the members of the Church because of the way they were dressed."

LMAO!! If someone is seduced by my spaghetti straps, they had serious willpower problems in the first place.

Yeah I'm sorry but these super old world, old school ideas on dress and seduction and sex and the church just drive me up a damn wall.  I openly roll my eyes at all this misogynistic crap.

dolewhipper

kmmssg said:

shannonmaya said:

kasmith1 said:

She must be reading this: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu319.htm

Oh. My. As a Christian, this is insane! "Those who dress improperly, they risk losing their soul"

That seriously makes me ragey!  I am not Catholic but I wonder what the new Pope would think of that.  He seems like such a truly humble soul who would welcome anyone. I'm not Catholic, but I'm totally with the new Pope. He's a great inspiration on how to be a true Christian.

Viczaesar

SBbride67 said:

Sheesh! People are so hostile on this forum! Thanks, but I'm going to go with what my grandma's etiquette book from the 50s says. I wasn't sure if that etiquette was current, but after hearing all this, I really don't care if it's current any more. Peace out!

Dude, you're freaking out about all the wrong things.  It's like someone wrote a guide to wasting your time and energy while planning your wedding and you're following it to a T.  You really need to do some basic research in etiquette, and without knowing what book you're talking about I have no idea if your grandma's is worth the paper it's printed on.  I highly suggest you pick up Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding.  It should actually help you decrease your stress as you realize what's important in planning a wedding and what absolutely is not.