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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

How did you begin?

Hello ladies!

This is a pretty lame question, but I was wondering...for those of you who wrote your own vows, how did you begin figuring out what you wanted to say? 

I've got a degree in writing/literature, and I'm still struggling with this! My fiance and I are doing the "traditional" vows first, but are also incorporating some vows we're writing ourselves.

Any tips?


Re: How did you begin?

  •  We also did traditional vows, and then added in our own as well. My advice would be, think of what you would want to say, if you only had one chance to let him know how you feel about him. If you knew you could only tell him once how you felt, and maybe what you hope for in your future, what would you say? Obviously you can add things in from there, but I jotted things down like that to get an idea of how I wanted my vows to be. 

     Good luck to you!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd keep the vows focused on promises you are making each other.  What are you promising to do for your FI?  What is he promising to do for you?

    Best wishes and congratulations!
  • I read a bunch of vows on the internet. Then I sat and wrote down like the top 6 or so promises I wanted to make for my fiance.

    My advice is start early. I wrote out my vows in early November. Then set them aside for a little bit. I just looked at them again the other day and polished them. I'm starting and talking about how special he is to me. And then the 6 promises I want to make to him.

    We're writing ours separate and I am looking forward to hearing his in less than a month.

    Hope that helps a little.

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  • Start by writing FI a letter. Include anything you want to tell him, like about how you felt the first time you met, special memories, and everything you hope/promise for your future together. Then, go through and remove anything that's not a promise. (I'd save the non-promises in another document to give to him as a letter on your wedding day.) 

    Then, hit the books and do some online research with FI. Read through tons of vows. Highlight or save what you like/what's important to you and ignore what you don't/what isn't important to you. Regardless of whether or not you are writing your vows together or separately, I think doing this part together is important. Then, create a hybrid of your vows and the ones you like. 

    You're a writer, so you know the next part: edit, then edit again, then repeat x489708 until you're happy with them. Practice with your best friend or a close family member for opinions (and FI, unless you guys are writing your vows separately).  
  • I am really bad at putting my thoughts on paper.We were planning on doing the repeat after me thing but  like a week before my groom decided to write his own. I was writing mine on a Friday to be married on Sunday.:)
  • You got some very good suggestions here. For me, putting feelings on paper is a lot easier (like, need professional help levels of easier) than saying them out loud, so this is how I plan to proceed. I almost fainted when our officiant suggested we write our own, but the fact that it's scary tells me I should probably do it. It's the same feeling I have about premarital counseling.

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  • grumbledoregrumbledore
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2014
  • I'm planning to have each of us read a "note" to the other first....it is not about promises, just thoughts and wishes and a bit of the "why" (as in why I fell in love). Then we'd do semi-traditional vows (no "obey"!!) with matching promises and guided by the officiant.
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