this is a logistical problem, but is it an etiquette issue?

cruffino

i am getting married in 2 weeks (yikes!). we have a room block at a hotel. hotel check in is 3PM. the wedding starts at 4PM. we will have a shuttle from the hotel to the wedding (ceremony and reception in one location). it will leave the hotel at 3:15PM. 

so my FMIL has pointed out on several occasions that people will not have time to check into the hotel and change clothes in time to get to the wedding. i have told her several times that adults will have to figure out how to dress themselves and be at an appointed place at an appointed time. (i'm sure its obvious but i have very little patience for her right now, although normally we get along just fine). 

i have talked with the hotel and they are willing to allow guests to check in early, provided they have rooms available. room availability is out of my control. i'm not sure what else i can do. i can't change the time of the wedding as its already the 11th hour, and besides, the church we are marrying in will not allow it. i do want to ensure the comfort of the guests to the extent that i can, but i'm not sure what else to do here.

and for context, this hotel situation will affect about 5% of the guests as most are local and/or not staying in the hotel. is there anything i could/should be doing? i am willing to do what i can to lessen this logistical issue, but i'm fresh out of ideas. TIA.

photokitty

No, you are doing enough in my opinion. If they can't check in early they can change in the lobby bathroom or come in their wedding attire to the hotel. I've changed in a McD's bathroom before bc I didn't want to drive 3 hours in my wedding attire and couldn't check into the hotel.

If they miss the shuttle they can drive themselves. You are correct, they are adults and they can decide how to handle the situation for themselves.

If she is extremely considered here is a solution - she can get a room the night before, and have it for 2 nights, and if people arrive and can't check in she can offer them use of her room to change and freshen up. Put it on her, you have done all you need to do.

YEA! 2 weeks!! eek!

lyndausvi

  3pm check-ins are standard, people who travel know that.  If rooms are ready hotels always let them check-in early.   There is nothing else you can do at that point.

Woohoo 2 weeks.

HisGirlFriday13

This is a non-issue. Your guests are adults and can figure it out. Your FMIL needs to find something else to obsess over.

Maggie0829

I am sure the guests staying at the hotel are aware of the check-in time and will have taken that into account.

Ignore your FMIL and let her stress and freak over this non issue.

phira

So I actually went to a wedding in October where check in was at 3pm and the shuttle to the 4pm ceremony was leaving at 3:15. When we called to book a room from that hotel block, we asked about early check-in; we were told that we could check in as early as noon if there were rooms available.

We arrived at noon on the wedding day because my partner was incredibly sick and we wanted to make sure if there WERE any rooms available early, we'd get one. We were able to check in at 1:30. Other people had to wait until 2:30 or so. Some people did change in the hotel bathrooms, but most people actually arrived completely dressed and ready to go, and just ran up to put their luggage in their hotel rooms after they checked in at 3.

It's worth mentioning that this hotel was the only major hotel near the wedding venue that would let the bride and groom block off rooms for one night (most hotels required blocks/booking 2 nights in a row). Since most guests were somewhat local (within 2 hours driving) and wouldn't need to stay in a hotel the night before the wedding, the bride and groom deliberately selected one of the few hotels that didn't require two nights. They weren't the only people getting married that weekend who had that same idea: there were multiple other weddings going on that weekend that had also blocked that hotel. Since some of the weddings were Saturday, some were on Sunday, and some people had booked more than one night, that meant that there were almost no rooms available for early check in on Sunday when we arrived.

tl;dr: a bunch of unusual circumstances meant that not many people could check in early, but we were still able to, and there were no problems with guests getting to the wedding on time.

Basically, you don't really need to do anything. You COULD contact guests you know who will be staying at that hotel and let them know that they might be able to check in early, but only if there are rooms available. But you are correct: your guests will be fine, and this is not a huge logistical problem you need to solve for them.

cruffino

photokitty said:

No, you are doing enough in my opinion. If they can't check in early they can change in the lobby bathroom or come in their wedding attire to the hotel. I've changed in a McD's bathroom before bc I didn't want to drive 3 hours in my wedding attire and couldn't check into the hotel.

If they miss the shuttle they can drive themselves. You are correct, they are adults and they can decide how to handle the situation for themselves.

If she is extremely considered here is a solution - she can get a room the night before, and have it for 2 nights, and if people arrive and can't check in she can offer them use of her room to change and freshen up. Put it on her, you have done all you need to do.

YEA! 2 weeks!! eek!

lyndausvi said:

  3pm check-ins are standard, people who travel know that.  If rooms are ready hotels always let them check-in early.   There is nothing else you can do at that point.

Woohoo 2 weeks.

HisGirlFriday13 said:

This is a non-issue. Your guests are adults and can figure it out. Your FMIL needs to find something else to obsess over.

thank you ladies! i appreciate your validation. i just don't want to add another thing to my to do list at this point. 

and she is checking in a day early so i will let her know that she should host them in her room...lol.

chibiyui

I have nothing important to add.

Yay two weeks!

cruffino

Maggie0829 said:

I am sure the guests staying at the hotel are aware of the check-in time and will have taken that into account.

Ignore your FMIL and let her stress and freak over this non issue.

phira said:

So I actually went to a wedding in October where check in was at 3pm and the shuttle to the 4pm ceremony was leaving at 3:15. When we called to book a room from that hotel block, we asked about early check-in; we were told that we could check in as early as noon if there were rooms available.

We arrived at noon on the wedding day because my partner was incredibly sick and we wanted to make sure if there WERE any rooms available early, we'd get one. We were able to check in at 1:30. Other people had to wait until 2:30 or so. Some people did change in the hotel bathrooms, but most people actually arrived completely dressed and ready to go, and just ran up to put their luggage in their hotel rooms after they checked in at 3.

It's worth mentioning that this hotel was the only major hotel near the wedding venue that would let the bride and groom block off rooms for one night (most hotels required blocks/booking 2 nights in a row). Since most guests were somewhat local (within 2 hours driving) and wouldn't need to stay in a hotel the night before the wedding, the bride and groom deliberately selected one of the few hotels that didn't require two nights. They weren't the only people getting married that weekend who had that same idea: there were multiple other weddings going on that weekend that had also blocked that hotel. Since some of the weddings were Saturday, some were on Sunday, and some people had booked more than one night, that meant that there were almost no rooms available for early check in on Sunday when we arrived.

tl;dr: a bunch of unusual circumstances meant that not many people could check in early, but we were still able to, and there were no problems with guests getting to the wedding on time.

Basically, you don't really need to do anything. You COULD contact guests you know who will be staying at that hotel and let them know that they might be able to check in early, but only if there are rooms available. But you are correct: your guests will be fine, and this is not a huge logistical problem you need to solve for them.

again, thanks. i travel alot, so it was not an issue to me. but i figured because i travel alot, i may be immune to things that those who don't travel as frequently might be bothered by. 

cruffino

chibiyui

i'm super excited, but also freaking out a bit too!

sarahufl

I changed in my car at the church one time Hopefully I didn't flash anyone.

Have fun at your wedding!

CheleLyn

I work at the front desk at a hotel so my block is obviously there. Our ceremony starts at 330 and check in as at 3pm. Summer is crazy busy for us.

Here's what we'll be doing. Any rooms that are available before 3pm will be allowed check in. Since I will have a suite for 2 nights, in the event that someone's room isn't available when they arrive they will put their belongings in my suite and they can either dress there or in one of the locker rooms. After we have left the hotel for the wedding, our housekeepers will take the belongings of anyone that had a room to their room when it is ready.

I don't know if this is something other hotels do but since I work there this is how we have done it before when this has come up.

Eta: the fact that I work there actually puts the rooms in my block at the top of the priority list so after the stay over rooms are cleaned, they'll be the first cleaned.

huskypuppy14

People can always check in after the wedding. I think it's a non issue. For what it's worth, I've always been able to check in early when I've wanted. Sure if I was super early I may have to wait a little bit until my room was ready, but usually check out is at 11 maybe 12, so by 1 or 2 they usually are ready. 

EverAfer

Congrats! So close, you must be super excited.

We have the same situation with our hotel's check-in time at 4pm and ceremony starting at 4pm- guests arriving around 3:30 pm. The hotel said the same thing, if there are rooms ready, they'll be available for our guests as early as possible, but no guarantee.

I'm glad you asked the question.  I do like @photokitty suggestion, I never thought of guests needing a place to change.

Jen4948

I agree with PPs.  This is something that the guests will have to figure out for themselves, regardless of what your FMIL thinks.

melbenso

I agree, your guests are adults and will be able to figure out how to dress themselves, etc.  I'm sure that the hotel would not stop a paying guest from access to its lobby restrooms simply because they have not checked in yet.  A lot of hotels will also hold guests bags for them if a room isn't ready. (I've been to several conferences for work where I had to have my bag held because I needed to be in a meeting and a room wasn't ready yet.) So, if you have a guest who is unable to check in during that 15 minute span, they should be able to ask the hotel to hold their bags behind the front desk until they return and check in after the wedding.  If it's a hotel with a bellhop, it is probable that the hotel would take the bags up to the room and have them waiting when they returned.

ei34

Nothing new to add as PP's have accurately stated that your adult guests will be aware of check-in time and schedule/dress accordingly.  Good luck with your FMIL...but more importantly congrats you're in the final stretch! Yay!

doeydo

As an OOT to a wedding, I have done my hair and make-up then drove to the town and changed in a Tim Horton's bathroom.  I think the hotel 'situation' is alright. 

lovesclimbing

You are fine.  And they can likely get an early check-in.  Especially if it's only a few guests.  You say this will only affect about 5% of your guest list.  Even assuming that you have a 300-guest wedding, that's only 15 people!  And assuming a few of them are couples, that's probably only about 10 rooms out of the whole hotel.  I imagine all of them could get early check-ins if they wanted them, unless the hotel is fully booked that weekend.

Source: I have worked as a front desk clerk at a large (several hundred room) hotel.  I was the one who answered the phone and told people whether we could accommodate early check-ins.