Hi ladies - thought my days of wedding drama were over. I was wrong! Here's a situation I have dealt with all week and at this point it is friendship ending. Please tell me what you think. I am open to any answers and opinions, not trying to validate my choice. Here's the deal:
A good friend of mine asked me to be in her "house party" for her wedding. I have previously commented on here that B list friend jobs are BS, and against my own advice I accepted. She has been a good friend for over 15 years and quite honestly I was relieved about not taking on bridesmaid duties or expense. She said I have been a good friend to her but she had to include family this time around (this is her second marriage) and that she still wanted to include me.
48 hours later she created a FB page with a laundry list of demands including various polls about where to go for the bachelorette party, weekly craft nights to make decor, an invite for her self hosted engagement party, and her demands on what we needed to wear. I clarified that the dress requests were for bridesmaids AND house party and she said "yes". Oh, Hell. No. Additionally come to find out not only did she have family as bridesmaids she had asked 4 other girls in our "friend group" to be bridesmaids. I was floored. Realizing I have to exit this train wreck ASAP, I emailed her and respectfully declined the offer.
My other friends are caught in the middle of this, and while they are going along with most of this crap they feel I had some valid points. 1) she lied about the rest of the bridal party to "sell" me into this BS role and make me feel special and 2) it is inappropriate to ask that I dress like a bridesmaid if I am not a bridesmaid. I was an adult, picked up the phone, and called the Bridezilla. It did not end well.
"I am offended you are asking me to dress like a bridesmaid when I am not a bridesmaid. It's the principle of it and a slap in the face"
"Well I am offended you are not doing what I am asking you to do. My wedding coordinator said it was a good idea. It's MY DAY and if that's how I want you to dress that's what you have to do."
"You can make whatever demands you want, however I can also choose not to participate"
"You are a horrible friend and a selfish bitch who always makes things about you. This is MY DAY. Glad we can part ways now so I have more room for REAL FRIENDS in my wedding"
"You are a self serving bitch who tried to swindle me into this grunt work job for you and I saw through your shadiness"
Did I mention we are in our mid 30's and have children? I felt like we were back in our college days, or better yet high school.
So my questions to you are:
1) has anyone EVER heard of and/or does etiquette state that house party needs to match the bridesmaids?
2) what would you have done in my situation?