Help (TMI)

JCbride2015

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

firebabe6519

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

I would highly recommend going to a doctor. In the mean time, avoid yeasty foods (bread and carbs) and drink cranberry juice.

HaileyDancingbear

Teddy917 said:

@teddy917 I think you should start applying for other jobs- this one sounds like it's crap and treats you poorly.  Get some applications out before you give your two weeks notice so that you can just go from one job to another.  

I have been applying everywhere. Taco Bell (or at least the one by me) does open interviews which I'll be going to on Tuesday.

That's good, good luck on the interview, I hope you get a better job soon

Teddy917

JCBride2014 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

firebabe6519

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.



Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

Teddy917

firebabe6519 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...


I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

KPBM89

I used to work in fast food and there was a manager I worked under who tried to pull the same "rule."  I ignored the rule and went pee when I had to freakin pee.  She wrote me up for not only breaking the rule, but also for fighting with her about it on the clock.  On my next break, I used that time to call corporate.  Within 2 hours, the district manager came in (they were based out of a town an hour and a half away) and fired her on the spot.  She had written up 8 employees for peeing.

artbyallie

OSHA makes it clear that bathroom facilities must be available for employees, and also explicitly states that frequency of needing to use them can vary, and the general interpretation of that section is that disallowing bathroom use is not following OSHA regs.

https://www.osha.gov/pls/oshaweb/owadisp.show_document?p_table=INTERPRETATIONS&p_id=22932

Long story short: they have to let you pee.

Teddy917

@artbyallie Thanks for the link

KatWAG

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.

FiancB

Most likely it is a UTI. While that doesn't sound like a big deal, it can quickly escalate to a kidney infection which is a VERY big deal. I have gotten many and usually go straight to urgent care, pee in a cup, and immediately know if it's positive or not, then they give antibiotics which start working pretty much immediately. I don't think it's very expensive even without insurance. 

While there's usually burning involved, it can vary. I usually get the burning but there was one time it didn't hurt at all but there was blood, so it took a while for me to catch because I was on my period and thought I just had a leaky tampon or something. Other times, no blood. I did get a kidney infection once because the doc didn't give me strong enough antibiotics for the severity of my UTI, and that sucked hard. Back pain and puking and off to get more meds. You can get hospitalized for that shit so again- get to a doctor.

Like others said, pregnancy is another possibilty. Diabetes and some other conditions can also make you pee a lot. 

As for your boss: you sound young and probably scared to stand up to this ahole. Don't be- the regulations on this are very clear, and being a corporate company you can go all the way up to the CEO if you have to. Explain to your boss that you have to pee a lot, then go. If he writes you up, congratulations- you have proof of him breaking the law and abusing employees and at that point you pretty much can't get in trouble for anything. 

Teddy917

KatWAG said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak. Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom... I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant. I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.


Bingo.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Teddy917 said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.

Bingo.

Not to get suuuuper nosy, but you're married and a virgin? I know that some couples don't have sex and that's totally fine (whatever works for you, more power to you), but the part of me that was thisclose to becoming a sex therapist is curious.

You can totally ignore me if this is way too personal, though.

HisGirlFriday13

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

Teddy917 said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.

Bingo.

Not to get suuuuper nosy, but you're married and a virgin? I know that some couples don't have sex and that's totally fine (whatever works for you, more power to you), but the part of me that was thisclose to becoming a sex therapist is curious.

You can totally ignore me if this is way too personal, though.

I was going to ask, but I didn't want to be nosey, but now I'm with pumpkins -- you're married and a virgin?

That certainly rules out pregnancy, but also makes a UTI and a yeast infection much more unlikely, too. 

Teddy917

HisGirlFriday13 said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

Teddy917 said:

KatWAG said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.


Bingo.


Not to get suuuuper nosy, but you're married and a virgin? I know that some couples don't have sex and that's totally fine (whatever works for you, more power to you), but the part of me that was thisclose to becoming a sex therapist is curious.

You can totally ignore me if this is way too personal, though.

I was going to ask, but I didn't want to be nosey, but now I'm with pumpkins -- you're married and a virgin?

That certainly rules out pregnancy, but also makes a UTI and a yeast infection much more unlikely, too. 

Since I don't know you guys in real life, I'm not really embarrassed to tell you. My husband 1. Doesn't want to hurt me (he's heard that it really hurts the woman, even though I told him that it's not always the case and really don't mind if it does). 2. He hates birth control (condoms make his penis deflate, he doesn't like the contraceptive gel that I suggested, BC pills around here require a prescription so the doctors visit causes it to cost more) and 3. I suggested we just keep close track of my cycle but he's worried it's not going to be accurate enough, which is a legitimate concern, my period has never been very regular.

Teddy917

HisGirlFriday13 said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

Teddy917 said:

KatWAG said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

Teddy917 said:

JCBride2014 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.


Bingo.


Not to get suuuuper nosy, but you're married and a virgin? I know that some couples don't have sex and that's totally fine (whatever works for you, more power to you), but the part of me that was thisclose to becoming a sex therapist is curious.

You can totally ignore me if this is way too personal, though.

I was going to ask, but I didn't want to be nosey, but now I'm with pumpkins -- you're married and a virgin?

That certainly rules out pregnancy, but also makes a UTI and a yeast infection much more unlikely, too. 

Since I don't know you guys in real life, I'm not really embarrassed to tell you. My husband 1. Doesn't want to hurt me (he's heard that it really hurts the woman, even though I told him that it's not always the case and really don't mind if it does). 2. He hates birth control (condoms make his penis deflate, he doesn't like the contraceptive gel that I suggested, BC pills around here require a prescription so the doctors visit causes it to cost more) and 3. I suggested we just keep close track of my cycle but he's worried it's not going to be accurate enough, which is a legitimate concern, my period has never been very regular.

HisGirlFriday13

Teddy917 said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

Teddy917 said:

GlitterWitch22 said:

Teddy917 said:

Teddy917 said:

@Jennycolado-- oh yeah, forgot the peeing in a cup thing.  I had a spate of reoccurring UTI's a few years ago and a couple times I just called my doctor and described the symptoms, then he called in the prescription.

But usually with a UTI there are other symptoms like pain and burning, which is why I said, don't be shocked if you doc wants to actually do an exam.

And OP, I am horrified to hear about that doctor you saw as a kid!  And that your mom didn't do anything!!  You are totally right to be apprehensive about doctors now.

It's not really a burning and I've got a high pain tolerance but it does feel like there's a bunch of sharp knives being stab into there.

Yikes-- don't go to work, go running to a doctor.  Is the pain in your lower back at all?  Honestly with the peeing and the stabbing pain, I'd probably be at an urgent care by now.

No. It's just "down under" so to speak.

Have you tried a pee stick yet? Because that sort of pain, aka lightning crotch, is also a pregnancy symptom...

I love the term "lightning crotch". It describes it perfectly. I haven't done a pregnancy test because it is absolutely impossible for me to be pregnant.

I'm just being nosy, but how is it "impossible" ??

Agreed, unless you are a virgin, its not impossible.

Bingo.

Not to get suuuuper nosy, but you're married and a virgin? I know that some couples don't have sex and that's totally fine (whatever works for you, more power to you), but the part of me that was thisclose to becoming a sex therapist is curious.

You can totally ignore me if this is way too personal, though.

I was going to ask, but I didn't want to be nosey, but now I'm with pumpkins -- you're married and a virgin?

That certainly rules out pregnancy, but also makes a UTI and a yeast infection much more unlikely, too. 

Since I don't know you guys in real life, I'm not really embarrassed to tell you. My husband 1. Doesn't want to hurt me (he's heard that it really hurts the woman, even though I told him that it's not always the case and really don't mind if it does). 2. He hates birth control (condoms make his penis deflate, he doesn't like the contraceptive gel that I suggested, BC pills around here require a prescription so the doctors visit causes it to cost more) and 3. I suggested we just keep close track of my cycle but he's worried it's not going to be accurate enough, which is a legitimate concern, my period has never been very regular.

1. Sex doesn't always -- and rarely, actually -- hurts the woman. Him not wanting to hurt you, while noble, is a pretty weak excuse.

2. How does he know condoms make his penis deflate? Has he had sex and you haven't? How does he know he doesn't like the contraceptive gel you've picked if you and he haven't tried it? BCP requires a prescription everywhere, but (at least in the States), it's the same co-pay to visit my doc for a script as it is for a check-up, and you can hit up Planned Parenthood for free/low-cost BCP.

3. That's called NFP, and it's the only excuse your husband offered that I think has merit. NFP requires a lot of time and effort to master, and it's hard.

JCbride2015

I'm also just curious and again, feel free to totally ignore if this is too personal.  Are you guys newlyweds?  Do you have some sort of plan to eventually obtain BC and have sex (or eventually have sex when you want kids) or do you plan to just go on forever this way?

HGF is absolutely right on her points 1 2 and 3 imo.  Sex rarely hurts; most women including me say even the first time was not bad.

Sex is just such an integral part of how Fi and I connect and recharge with each other on a regular basis.  It's an important aspect of our relationship and really helps us be closer.  Plus it's fun!

Teddy917

2. He's put the condom on because I convinced him to try. We think it deflates because something's wrong with his penis (he keeps saying that he'll get it checked out but hasn't yet). His penis also goes down the instant any thought of me being in pain comes to his mind. I don't know why he doesn't like the gel, I've asked and he can never find the words to explain it. I don't have insurance so it would cost an arm and a leg for a doctor visit (which in the case of getting the lightning crotch thing checked out of course I'll pay) and then an arm and a leg for the pill. I don't even think we have a PP around here. If we do it's at least a 30 min drive into the city and neither of us can drive (long story).

JCbride2015

It sounds like Fi is just hung up on hurting you, and that's really very sweet.  Maybe all you can do is keep trying and he'll eventually realize nothing terrible happens?

Btw did you get your pain checked out?  Hope it's nothing serious.

Teddy917

JCBride2014 said:

I'm also just curious and again, feel free to totally ignore if this is too personal.  Are you guys newlyweds?  Do you have some sort of plan to eventually obtain BC and have sex (or eventually have sex when you want kids) or do you plan to just go on forever this way?

HGF is absolutely right on her points 1 2 and 3 imo.  Sex rarely hurts; most women including me say even the first time was not bad.

Sex is just such an integral part of how Fi and I connect and recharge with each other on a regular basis.  It's an important aspect of our relationship and really helps us be closer.  Plus it's fun!

I guess it depend on your definition of newlyweds. We have only been married 8 1/2 months. We will either get the pill eventually or having sex when we can properly provide for kids.

We do have some sexy time, just no actual penetration. We'll touch each other, I give him blow jobs and hand jobs, he'll suck on my breasts etc. Although he is usually not even into a lot of that. I think his real reason for not wanting it is because of his past experiences (which I won't share out of respect for him).

Teddy917

I'll be 21 a week from today. He is 24.

Teddy917

JCBride2014 said:

It sounds like Fi is just hung up on hurting you, and that's really very sweet.  Maybe all you can do is keep trying and he'll eventually realize nothing terrible happens?

Btw did you get your pain checked out?  Hope it's nothing serious.

Not yet. I'll keep you guys updated on it.

HisGirlFriday13

Teddy917 said:

2. He's put the condom on because I convinced him to try. We think it deflates because something's wrong with his penis (he keeps saying that he'll get it checked out but hasn't yet). His penis also goes down the instant any thought of me being in pain comes to his mind. I don't know why he doesn't like the gel, I've asked and he can never find the words to explain it. I don't have insurance so it would cost an arm and a leg for a doctor visit (which in the case of getting the lightning crotch thing checked out of course I'll pay) and then an arm and a leg for the pill. I don't even think we have a PP around here. If we do it's at least a 30 min drive into the city and neither of us can drive (long story).

Look, I know I'm just some nosey broad on the Interwebz that you don't know IRL and don't have to listen to, but both of you -- him more than you, but you, too -- need to get yourselves to a therapist STAT.

Just to re-cap, to make sure I've got the salient points here: 

-- you're 21 (almost) and he's 24

-- neither of you drives

-- you've been married 8.5 months with no intercourse

-- you give him blow jobs and hand jobs, and he sometimes reciprocates by sucking your tits, but not even that always

-- his hang-ups are based on past sexual experiences and a fear of hurting you

You both need counselling. You need it, like, YESTERDAY. This is not healthy or normal. I'm with PP -- sex is such an integral way DH and I connect to each other, I can't imagine being sexless. It's not even the actual intercourse (although that is fabulous), it's the closeness that I feel to him, it's the intimacy of the act.

You've posted a lot of things -- in this thread and in another one -- that throw up red flags for me. With the new ACA mandate, you and DH (should be) eligible for health care through that -- look there. Yes, it might be expensive, but it's so worth it. 

Teddy917

GlitterWitch22 said:

Call me nosy & I am totally not a medical professional.. but I really want to fix this whole no-sex thing.  Are you scared? Do you guys have some kind of religious background that makes it seem shameful to you? (I know people like this!) As for the condom thing... nobody likes them. But ya gotta figure out a way to make that work.  I've never known a guy to not go thru with it because of not liking condoms. There are obviously bigger issues here. But get to a doctor.

! Don't worry about the money- your health is way more important. Issues like this can cause damage that could affect your ability to have kids, etc. Again, not a medical professional, just a nosy chick on the interweb

I'm not scared. I'm LDS and we (as a church) don't find sex a shameful thing, although we do insist on waiting until marriage (so husband and I are good on that).My mom did, however, make me think when I was younger that sex (or any sort of show of affection) was bad. Even hugging. Funny story to illustrate that: For longer than I care to admit, I thought oral sex was the same thing as kissing and thought you could get pregnant from it (and my Health class teacher all but skipped the sex ed portion, so I learned nothing from it). But with my husband's help, I've gotten over that and now really enjoy it.

JCbride2015

I agree with @HisGirlFriday13-- it really sounds like you guys have some deep issues and counseling would help.  And you should be able to get insurance through ACA (yeah it's an expense, but it's so worth having).  This is a very private thing and of course I don't know you, but what you've shared here sounds strange.  If your mom convinced you that hugging=sex=bad, and H has previous issues as well, you guys really have some stuff to work through.

Teddy917

Typing this all up has made me realize how strange my life has been. Sadly I was sheltered as well for most of my life so I thought all this was normal until a couple years ago when I met my now-husband and he pointed out to me how different the rest of the world is.

HisGirlFriday13

Teddy917 said:

Typing this all up has made me realize how strange my life has been. Sadly I was sheltered as well for most of my life so I thought all this was normal until a couple years ago when I met my now-husband and he pointed out to me how different the rest of the world is.

And it's great that you realise that -- but again, you and he need to talk to someone about this. A professional. Soon.

EverAfer

I agree with PPs.

Sex is normal and a very intimate (and enjoyable) act between a couple.  You guys are not strange, just late bloomers?

The condom thing, I've had that happened when the guy was not ready emotionally and mentally so your husband must just be experiencing some angst about it.  If you're both worried about pregnancy and don't have birth control, I can understand how that plays into his mentally.  With the new health mandate, I'm hoping you can get health insurance.  If not, check out planned parenthood for birth control options. 

In terms of your pee issue, if it hurts in any way, please see a doc.  It could affect your fertility and that's not worth risking.

Also, I used to pee all the time. I had a psychological thing that I must pee in case something happens and I can't get to the bathroom.  So, I always have to pee -note it's not accompanied by any pain.  So, you should get it check out by a doc to rule out actual medical issues or any psychological ones.

Also note, alot of non-profit hospitals have what they call charity care-which means they charge you based on your income and assets.  And there are community clinics that charge you on a sliding scale, also based on income, but it might mean that you pay a sliding fee...sometimes $50, $20 or none.  The social worker can also assist in getting you free/discounted medication.  They're not the best run organizations, but they're there to help, and I think they try their best to provide you with the resources.

And check out your local human services organizations, they may be able to help you get health insurance or find a clinic that charges a sliding fee.

rajahmd

@Teddy917,

You said in another thread that your husband is mentally disabled, which is why he doesn't work. If you don't mind sharing, what type of mental disability does he have? That would greatly impact how he processes things and could be related to your intimacy issues.