Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!

2»

Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:adfcef14-3b5a-4899-9f85-f40b6f8909b7">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please! : Um..nothing. Someone who thinks you're a coward because you didn't want to post whatever you said here. 
    Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks.</div>
    image 82 Invited
    image 35 are ready to party! image 6 have better things to do image41 are lollygagging
    RSVP Date: Dec 19
    image Favorite Registry Item/South FL Board
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:ffc2c313-4123-432a-aaee-d0d174eb8c14">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please! : Going against the grain is cowardly.  Really?  Peer pressure on The Knot boards.  Wow. By the way, you calling me a coward was a personal attack as well...I guess it's all subjective. 
    Posted by missv19732000[/QUOTE]

    If you weren't scared about how people would react to what you said you would have posted it. 

    Actually it's not. A name- maybe, an attack not even close. You threatened me with physical violence. That's more than an attack. That's criminal.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Wow! Where did her posting the hitting threat go. I was going to respond. Can you really get banned over an Internet posting? I need to check the rules.
  • In Response to Re:In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!:[QUOTE]Wow! Where did her posting the hitting threat go. I was going to respond. Can you really get banned over an Internet posting? I need to check the rules. Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]


    Yep. Saying an idea is dumb. Or a horrible idea. Or that a certain behavior is cowardly isn't against the rules. Threatening physical violence is not only against TK rules, it can also be reported to police.

    Making that threat as a joke doesn't make it any less a threat.

    People should be more careful about which movie lines they try to use to sound witty.
  •  My sister got married at 17. She wasn't pregnant or anything, she just really wanted to get married... Anyways, she had her "first marriage" in Nevada. And then had her "second marriage" here in California (her home state). She really did want that PPD. But not many people took her seriously. Only a fraction of the people showed up, because what's the point in going to a wedding if the couple already got married a week ago? You can have your PPD, but don't expect a lot of excitement from people, they are only thinking you are milking it for all you can get... 
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:cf100b72-8e7b-43ca-8a06-acb0f2665043">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow! Where did her posting the hitting threat go. I was going to respond. Can you really get banned over an Internet posting? I need to check the rules.
    Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

    If a post gets reported multiple times it gets automatically removed.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Don't listen to everyone that say this is not the right choice or you missed your chance. So its not traditional. Do what makes you happy. Its your life and no one elses. If you feel you want a wedding, have one. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:ffaa7e2f-2ba5-4c3b-bcbb-2bde2e69f8b4">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't listen to everyone that say this is not the right choice or you missed your chance. So its not traditional. Do what makes you happy. Its your life and no one elses. If you feel you want a wedding, have one. 
    Posted by HoneyBearK[/QUOTE]
    She will have a wedding... on the day she gets married. If OP wants a PPD re-do, she'll need to get divorced to have another wedding... otherwise it's not a wedding, and is insulting and rude.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:ffaa7e2f-2ba5-4c3b-bcbb-2bde2e69f8b4">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't listen to everyone that say this is not the right choice or you missed your chance. So its not traditional. Do what makes you happy. Its your life and no one elses. If you feel you want a wedding, have one. 
    Posted by HoneyBearK[/QUOTE]

    It's offensive to say that the day she got married at the courthouse wasn't a wedding. She had her wedding.  She made the grown up choice to get married.  Choices have consequences.  the consequence to her getting married at the court house is that she doesn't get a pretty princess day do-over.   

    I also love how someone with one post comes on this specfic board/topic to defend a horribly bad idea.  This is almost always the OP creating a second account to defend herself so it looks like there are other people who thinks her rude and tacky plans are ok.
  • http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_wording-for-wedding-invites-help

    Umm ... make up your mind. You've gone from having a wedding because of a bad day at work to not being able to afford a traditional wedding...

    You're married. Grow up already.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Having a PPD will make you look entitled and immature. Even if everyone comes, they'll be thinking that.   Just sayin'
  • I'm not really sure why this is such a big deal. If you want it, have it. If family and friends have a problem with it they don't have to come. When you are 80 are you going to be thinking back and say, "I'm so glad I listened to what strangers on The Knot said, and not what I really wanted"?
  • edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:9369c87a-377d-493a-87b5-631555058624">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not really sure why this is such a big deal. <strong>If you want it, have it. If family and friends have a problem with it they don't have to come</strong>. <strong>When you are 80 are you going to be thinking back and say, "I'm so glad I listened to what strangers on The Knot said, and not what I really wanted"?</strong>
    Posted by Jroy1443[/QUOTE]

    You might not say that but I bet when you're 80 you might think, "I wish I hadn't done something rude and against etiquette that made a lot of my family and friends not come to my PPD/"vow renewal" and think poorly of me."


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • Well I guess my point is that people seem to be getting very heated over someone else's life. She just asked opinions. Just say, I think its not polite to have a 2nd wedding and leave it at that. Some people are down right bullying.
  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:fcd73dfd-c88d-41a9-8668-7b0043ea234a">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well I guess my point is that people seem to be getting very heated over someone else's life. She just asked opinions. <strong>Just say, I think its not polite to have a 2nd wedding and leave it at that. Some people are down right bullying.</strong>
    Posted by Jroy1443[/QUOTE]

    Look back through the posts. Some people said exactly that. But then OP and others come back with more crappy excuses and justifications, and those need to be addressed. People say, "It's not polite to have a second wedding," but OP says, "But it wasn't a wedding." People say, "You're not a bride anymore, you're a wife," then OP comes back with, "I never got to be a bride, though." She wants to do something rude and something that will make her look silly in front of everyone she knows. She asked for honest opinions, and that's exactly what she got. I see no bullying in that.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I did actually read the entire thing and I see people calling others names, posting those sarcastic cartoon drawings, ect. If you read through all of them (I assume you did) I doubt you would say that those were all happy, friendly posts from all. If someone doesn't agree with the majority everyone feels the need to chime in and tell them they are wrong. She asked for opinions and she got them... All I posted was that she should do what she wants and if friends and family don't agree then they don't have to go...but people felt the need to try and rip that apart too. So that's my opinion, you disagree...who cares? Seems like you can't say anything on here without it turning into a cat fight.
  • There's a lot of things I think people post that are 'terrible advice', yet that's their opinion. I don't think it's wrong to keep your own happiness as the guiding light in your wedding. I know I can't keep everyone happy at my wedding (someone will always have a complaint), so if I do things the way I want them, I know at least that I will be happy. When I see fit I will tell people to do whatever they want.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:fe34879c-be12-41ac-96e4-c942c5e276ac">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's a lot of things I think people post that are 'terrible advice', yet that's their opinion. I don't think it's wrong to keep your own happiness as the guiding light in your wedding. I know I can't keep everyone happy at my wedding (someone will always have a complaint), so if I do things the way I want them, I know at least that I will be happy. When I see fit I will tell people to do whatever they want.
    Posted by Jroy1443[/QUOTE]

    You can't just do what you want. The reception's number 1 priority is your guests comfort and happiness and not your own.  You are right when you say you can never make everyone happy but that's not an excuse to throw etiquette out the window.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • If you want to have a big wedding go for it.  If people come they come if they don't they don't.

    What do you care what a bunch of strangers here say?
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:da6ec245-3082-4d02-9e58-03df9252da89">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want to have a big wedding go for it.  If people come they come if they don't they don't. <strong>What do you care what a bunch of strangers here say?</strong>
    Posted by melissanjoe21[/QUOTE]

    So why post here at all?  She asked, we answered.  If she didn't want our responses, she should not have posted.  But if you do ask a question here, we're going to answer it-whether or not you already know us.  That's part of the life of someone who posts in an online etiquette forum-you are going to get responses from people you don't know.  If you don't want the answers, don't ask the question!
  • I'd say you can have a reception - but not a wedding.

    I'd suggest saving up money until your 5 year anniversary...do a vow renewal and hold a reception at that point.

    Having a "wedding" and lying to your guests (which is what you'd be doing by calling it a wedding) is pretty tacky. 

    I was invited to a "wedding" once and came to find out during the ceremony that the couple was already married and had been for a year (they held their "wedding" on their one year anniversary).  I felt completely lied to and was really pissed that I'd spent good money on a present, etc. for newly weds when in fact they were NOT newly weds.

    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_in-a-pickle-honest-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3a748890-3aaa-4dac-8d4e-f7d958b1d89bPost:832ec012-adce-4ff5-9615-0c9080677e0a">Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In a pickle.. Honest opinions, please! : There is always one special snowflake. Although I suspect there is 2 because one PP was to much of a coward to write it out and sent it through a PM.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, me. Although, now I kinda feel like an a$$, b/c I didn't see where she hadn't told anyone she's already married. I didn't catch that part. So at first I understood the semi-validity or her distress. Now, IDK.

    PPD's are huge in my circle of friends, b/c they're also Handsome NCO and WO days, and days where people really ARE in positions to get married due to health ins, and other issues.

    Honestly, everyone's day is about THEM. Wether it's a redo, a renewal, or just a party/bash to celebrate the occasion.

    To any poster, if you have to ask if it's tacky/forbidden/black, it is. The ladies here are just more blunt about it. Also, if you're family is telling you it's a bad idea to the extent you're stressing, then it's a pretty good possibility they won't show up. What would hurt worse? Not getting your PPD, or being possibily humiliated when everyone figures out you lied, and  therefore why your family isn't in attendance. Be careful what you wish for!
  • This is a weird thread. You shouldn't be asking people on the knot if it's acceptable. They aren't invited to your renewal/wedding. Why some of them are getting emotional and deeply offended by this is beyond me. If you want to throw a big party, do it. Why would I have the right to tell you that you can't wear a white dress. Do what you want, but if you're worried, ask the people in your life. Would it bother them to pay the expense to come to your "big day?" If so, try to figure out a way for them to not incur any cost. If you want a big cake, do it. If you want to call it a delayed wedding, do it. The first amendment says that you can call it anything you want. As long as you tell everyone the truth, do what you want.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
  • Looks like I have to disagree with just about everyone.  People re-new their vows all the time.  Some people even have had two weddings in two different places, one couple I think got married once in every country.  And I have heard of a couple renewing their vows every anniversary.  Some people think this is sweet, others think its way over the top.  So I guess the main question at stake is will your guest think its "tacky"?  Your close family who missed the ceremony I certainly think will not and will be delighted.  Have you asked your family what they think?  As for Friends?  I cannot answer for your friends.  Yes, you are married, and you aren't having a "do-over", as I think some people got offended at the by the phrase.  Yes a marriage is binding by the government and in my belief, by God,  but a re-newal of your vows is nothing to be ashamed of and if you want to wear a white  poofy dress so be it, you certainly wouldn't be the first.  I would just keep the guest list to those who you would only invite to a "vow-renewal ceremony" and not everyone that you would have initally invited- and if they think that it is tacky, well, they can stay home.
    I want a love like Johnny & June!
  • Im actually wondering if her situation is similar to mine. I realize most people disagree with me which is fine because im not looking for approval but I know that initially in one of my posts what I got really offended about was I thought people were calling my jop wedding a fake! I realized later that they weren't but this whole thing where a double ceremony is the worst thing ever was totally foreign to me. I also am obviously against the name calling. What im wondering though the whole "real wedding" thing was it really meant to say that the jop one was fake? I know I hadn't intended that but that's how it came across.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards