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March 2014 Weddings

OMG! I just got ripped a new one...(vent)

So, I don't go over to the NJ board that often, unless I absolutely have to get information from them.  I popped over there the other day to ask for help filling in my 4 hour gap for my guests before our evening reception and got ripped a new one.  I just don't understand how they can rip you a new one when they don't even know you.  I clearly (or so I thought) explained I had tried everything to shorten the gap but was unsuccessful.  Not to mention I tried to get a hospitality suite so guests had something to do before cocktail hour, but that couldn't be done because there is a wedding going on before my reception, so the rooms I would want to use will be used by them (they booked an extra meeting room for a kids babysitting room/activity room so the kids have something "kiddy" to do.  Which I think is great.  (I didn't tell them about the kiddy room because it wasn't necessary).  I've tried everything and can't do anything to help the gap.  After the ceremony we're going to our local bar/bowling alley (same place as our rehearsal dinner) for pictures, drinks and Free Bowling (as of last night).  We are going to invite those that want to do something before checking in to the hotel (which is 30-45 minutes from the church) to join us, but who knows who will actually come with us.  

I just can't believe they'd be so rude/nasty.  I actually started crying because they were being so nasty.  I'm appalled.  It hurts to think that they can't read and understand.  As my FI says - they have computer muscles.  Since they don't know you IRL they can bash you all from the safety of being in front of their computer screen.  Talk about cyber bullying.  

Argh.  37 days from my wedding and now I feel bad for not having something nice for guests to do between the ceremony and reception. :(

Wedding Countdown Ticker


Michelle & Ronald
01/03/81
06/18/81
08/25/10
05/07/13
03/15/14


image 172 Invites sent
image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
image 40 are party poopers
image 0 awaiting reply
Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
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Re: OMG! I just got ripped a new one...(vent)

  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    So, I don't go over to the NJ board that often, unless I absolutely have to get information from them.  I popped over there the other day to ask for help filling in my 4 hour gap for my guests before our evening reception and got ripped a new one.  I just don't understand how they can rip you a new one when they don't even know you.  I clearly (or so I thought) explained I had tried everything to shorten the gap but was unsuccessful.  Not to mention I tried to get a hospitality suite so guests had something to do before cocktail hour, but that couldn't be done because there is a wedding going on before my reception, so the rooms I would want to use will be used by them (they booked an extra meeting room for a kids babysitting room/activity room so the kids have something "kiddy" to do.  Which I think is great.  (I didn't tell them about the kiddy room because it wasn't necessary).  I've tried everything and can't do anything to help the gap.  After the ceremony we're going to our local bar/bowling alley (same place as our rehearsal dinner) for pictures, drinks and Free Bowling (as of last night).  We are going to invite those that want to do something before checking in to the hotel (which is 30-45 minutes from the church) to join us, but who knows who will actually come with us.  

    I just can't believe they'd be so rude/nasty.  I actually started crying because they were being so nasty.  I'm appalled.  It hurts to think that they can't read and understand.  As my FI says - they have computer muscles.  Since they don't know you IRL they can bash you all from the safety of being in front of their computer screen.  Talk about cyber bullying.  

    Argh.  37 days from my wedding and now I feel bad for not having something nice for guests to do between the ceremony and reception. :(

    I'm sorry, but I can't justify your post. Mainly due to the bolded. A four hour gap IS huge, and rude to your guests. I don't have all the details here, ( ie, what time is the ceremony, what time is the reception, how exactly you tried to shorten the gap), but 4 hours for pictures that don't include ceremony AND reception is a bit much. The fact that you're making your guests wait at loose ends so you can not only take pictures, but ALSO have drinks AND play a few games of bowling is very rude, a poor treatment of your guests, and a poor reflection on you and your husband to be.

    This isn't bullying, this is etiquette honesty. As I said, I don't know what exactly was said by the NJ bride board; if they called you nasty names, that's bullying. If they said it's rude for you to pull this stunt and leave your guests hanging, that's not bullying, that's honest advice and commentary.

    My friend covered her gap between a 3 pm ceremony (ended at 4:30) and a 6:30 reception by having a tea party/mini reception in the church fellowship hall. Have you talked to your church about having some drinks and refreshments in the hall for guests?

  • I know it's easier said than done, but they're people that don't know you.  You have to take everything on the Internet with a grain of salt.  I will admit four hours seems a bit long between ceremony and reception, but the people that are going care about you and just want to share the day with you.  I think the bowling alley is a great idea, or maybe a game room or something would be fun?  A four hour cocktail hour?  ;)
  • happymellowhappymellow member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Or, I know you said the reception area is unavailable, but could you maybe push back your ceremony?  Just a thought.  I'm not sure of all of your details.

    Also, I'm not sure if you were planning a cocktail hour, but I think I'd skip it and go straight to dinner. I hope that helps.

    The mini tea that Chipmunk mentioned is excellent, too.
  • Or, I know you said the reception area is unavailable, but could you maybe push back your ceremony?  Just a thought.  I'm not sure of all of your details.

    We tried everything and cant push anything around. We have to be out of the church by 2:30pm due to other masses, etc. I tried to move my reception up but cant due to another reception happening. We tried alot. We are giving the opportunity for those who attend the ceremony to come bowling with us, be apart of pictures there and have a few drinks after the ceremony. That will fill the hour and change between ceremony, drive time, etc.



    So, I don't go over to the NJ board that often, unless I absolutely have to get information from them.  I popped over there the other day to ask for help filling in my 4 hour gap for my guests before our evening reception and got ripped a new one.  I just don't understand how they can rip you a new one when they don't even know you.  I clearly (or so I thought) explained I had tried everything to shorten the gap but was unsuccessful.  Not to mention I tried to get a hospitality suite so guests had something to do before cocktail hour, but that couldn't be done because there is a wedding going on before my reception, so the rooms I would want to use will be used by them (they booked an extra meeting room for a kids babysitting room/activity room so the kids have something "kiddy" to do.  Which I think is great.  (I didn't tell them about the kiddy room because it wasn't necessary).  I've tried everything and can't do anything to help the gap.  After the ceremony we're going to our local bar/bowling alley (same place as our rehearsal dinner) for pictures, drinks and Free Bowling (as of last night).  We are going to invite those that want to do something before checking in to the hotel (which is 30-45 minutes from the church) to join us, but who knows who will actually come with us.  


    I just can't believe they'd be so rude/nasty.  I actually started crying because they were being so nasty.  I'm appalled.  It hurts to think that they can't read and understand.  As my FI says - they have computer muscles.  Since they don't know you IRL they can bash you all from the safety of being in front of their computer screen.  Talk about cyber bullying.  



    Argh.  37 days from my wedding and now I feel bad for not having something nice for guests to do between the ceremony and reception. :(

    I'm sorry, but I can't justify your post. Mainly due to the bolded. A four hour gap IS huge, and rude to your guests. I don't have all the details here, ( ie, what time is the ceremony, what time is the reception, how exactly you tried to shorten the gap), but 4 hours for pictures that don't include ceremony AND reception is a bit much. The fact that you're making your guests wait at loose ends so you can not only take pictures, but ALSO have drinks AND play a few games of bowling is very rude, a poor treatment of your guests, and a poor reflection on you and your husband to be.

    This isn't bullying, this is etiquette honesty. As I said, I don't know what exactly was said by the NJ bride board; if they called you nasty names, that's bullying. If they said it's rude for you to pull this stunt and leave your guests hanging, that's not bullying, that's honest advice and commentary.

    My friend covered her gap between a 3 pm ceremony (ended at 4:30) and a 6:30 reception by having a tea party/mini reception in the church fellowship hall. Have you talked to your church about having some drinks and
    refreshments in the hall for guests?

    Already tried the hall at the church route. Cant. Already booked by a community event. The ceremony is at 1pm, goes until 2. Pictures at church should be done by 230. Takes 20 minutes to get to picture location (bowling alley/bar). We will take puctures, bowl and have a few drinks. Leave there no later than 430. Takes 45 minutes from there (longer if traffic) so we arrive by 530ish at the reception venue. We can check in and start cocktail hour at 6. So in reality it wont be too long of a gap.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Have you tried moving the ceremony?
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    You're missing my point. That might not sound like a long gap to you, but it's still 4 hours. You said in your original post it takes about 45 minutes to get from the church to the reception venue. That's still 3 hours and 15 minutes where your guests are left with nothing, so yes, it is still quite a gap, and it is rude.

    I'm with happymellow- are you able to move back the ceremony and let your guests know about the time change?

  • We tried to move the ceremony but we can not.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Ive said it 3 different times that we tried but can not.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • happymellowhappymellow member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Well, so much for me trying to be nice...

    I don't mean the time.  I mean the location.  I get that it's probably your church and that it's sentimental, but your guests don't know that.  And your guests' comfort is key.  If it was me, I'd move the location to somewhere near the reception and move the time back.  Have it outside in a park if you have to.

    Marriage is about compromise and you may as well start with the wedding.  Do your guests a favor, suck it up and move the location closer to the reception and push the ceremony time back.  That's my opinion.
    KatWAG
  • Well, so much for me trying to be nice...

    I don't mean the time.  I mean the location.  I get that it's probably your church and that it's sentimental, but your guests don't know that.  And your guests' comfort is key.  If it was me, I'd move the location to somewhere near the reception and move the time back.  Have it outside in a park if you have to.

    Marriage is about compromise and you may as well start with the wedding.  Do your guests a favor, suck it up and move the location closer to the reception and push the ceremony time back.  That's my opinion.

    Sadly that would cost us even more money per head anf we would have to rearrange so many other facets of the ceremony, etc. I can not do that. We are expected to get married in our church. If people don't like it, they dont have to come. Period.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Especially witb 37 days? I havent even gotten all our rsvps back. And who REALLY goes by ettiquette anymore? Seriously.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • happymellowhappymellow member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Um, etiquette is about thinking of others' comfort.  It's VERY important.  I don't get the four hour gap, but aside from that, I don't get the 45 minute drive between the ceremony and reception.  If your guests live close to the ceremony, they'll have a drive to the reception.  If they live close to the reception, they'll have to drive to the ceremony.  And God help them if they don't live near either one and have to drive to both.  It'd be one thing to ask them to drive there and both were located near each other, but a long drive in between?

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but this should've been considered before booking venues.
    [Deleted User]Fran1985
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    OP, I've now seen the NJ posting.

    They were not nasty, rude, or bullying. They told you what a horrible idea it was to have a 4 hour gap, and urged you to make alternative arrangements. The ones who agreed with you decried this idea, claiming that since it's "your day" you can do whatever you want. It might be your day, the focus might be on the two of you, but that doesn't give you license to be self centeredly rude to your guests. Think about it- would YOU want to have to stand around in heels for 4 hours, or find some way to pass the time, just because someone else decided they would leave you hanging, justifying it by "oh well, its my day"? Would you want your grandmother to have to be standing around for 4 hours in that position? Additionally, do you really think your guests will be up for bowling in their nice church/wedding reception attire?

     If I had been in your position, and the location for the reception could not work with the ceremony time, I would have made arrangments for a reception elsewhere who could. How far out did you plan this? Did you arrange the ceremony and reception, then wait a few months before thinking of something to arrange for the 4 hour time frame, only to realize that everything is booked up? This is something that should have been addressed as soon as you had the ceremony and reception times and realized the length of time in between.

    As to your dig against etiquette- you "go by it" every time you say please and  thank you, send a thank you note, respond to an invitation in a timely fashion, and make polite conversation. I suggest you visit the etiquette board. I also recommend you check out the website Etiquette Hell, if you truly think no one goes by it anymore.

    Etiquette isn't dead, etiquette is the observance of the formal requirements governing behavior in polite society. Leaving your guests with nothing to do for four hours while you take pictures and go bowling in your wedding dress is rude and breaks etiquette badly. Getting defensive does not put you in the right on this.

  • Um, etiquette is about thinking of others' comfort.  It's VERY important.  I don't get the four hour gap, but aside from that, I don't get the 45 minute drive between the ceremony and reception.  If your guests live close to the ceremony, they'll have a drive to the reception.  If they live close to the reception, they'll have to drive to the ceremony.  And God help them if they don't live near either one and have to drive to both.  It'd be one thing to ask them to drive there and both were located near each other, but a long drive in between?

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but this should've been considered before booking venues.

    It WAS considered. I am guestimating on the drive time. Whenever I try to clock it, there isnt much traffic. Per my navigation device it states 25 minutes, so with traffic, it could be longer. As the reception venue is in a hotel, we have a block set up. We know that there are some that will go directly to the reception due to their religious beliefs (non-catholic, etc) and we know who will likely come to the ceremony. Those coming to the ceremony are those that are questioning the gap. They have been informed of the bowling party and photo opportunity, and are excited about it.

    Ive been to weddings with a 3-4 hour gap and i didnt mind it. It gave us time to check in and relax before hitting the shuttle.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • OP, I've now seen the NJ posting.

    They were not nasty, rude, or bullying. They told you what a horrible idea it was to have a 4 hour gap, and urged you to make alternative arrangements. The ones who agreed with you decried this idea, claiming that since it's "your day" you can do whatever you want. It might be your day, the focus might be on the two of you, but that doesn't give you license to be self centeredly rude to your guests. Think about it- would YOU want to have to stand around in heels for 4 hours, or find some way to pass the time, just because someone else decided they would leave you hanging, justifying it by "oh well, its my day"? Would you want your grandmother to have to be standing around for 4 hours in that position? Additionally, do you really think your guests will be up for bowling in their nice church/wedding reception attire?

     If I had been in your position, and the location for the reception could not work with the ceremony time, I would have made arrangments for a reception elsewhere who could. How far out did you plan this? Did you arrange the ceremony and reception, then wait a few months before thinking of something to arrange for the 4 hour time frame, only to realize that everything is booked up? This is something that should have been addressed as soon as you had the ceremony and reception times and realized the length of time in between.

    As to your dig against etiquette- you "go by it" every time you say please and  thank you, send a thank you note, respond to an invitation in a timely fashion, and make polite conversation. I suggest you visit the etiquette board. I also recommend you check out the website Etiquette Hell, if you truly think no one goes by it anymore.

    Etiquette isn't dead, etiquette is the observance of the formal requirements governing behavior in polite society. Leaving your guests with nothing to do for four hours while you take pictures and go bowling in your wedding dress is rude and breaks etiquette badly. Getting defensive does not put you in the right on this.

    Firstly, my grandmother has been gone for 12 years. My fis grandmother is of the type to constantly be on the go and loves the idea of bowling.

    This is now a mute point. We have made arrangements to provide 2 sources of entertainment (bowling and a pre-cocktail party at FFILs) for those that attend the ceremony. If they dont want to do either then we tried.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I used the grandmother example merely because most individuals would not be happy at the idea of their grandma having to stand around/find something to do in a strange town for four hours because of poor planning by the hosts. It's great your Fiance's grandmother is interested in bowling, but you're still missing the point.

    Are all of your guests aware of these options? did you include it on the invitations, call/email each and every one of them, or are you spreading it by word of mouth and hoping everyone finds out? Unless you have made sure that all are aware of their choices, it is not a moot point, and guests may not be mute about it.

    Kauris
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2014

    Wow OP. I am shocked by your overall lack of consideration for your guests. All of this could have been fixed with better planning. I agree with PPs. you need to move the ceremony back or your reception forward. Did you really think its no big deal that your guests fend for themselves for 4 hours?

    Will you be inviting all of your guests to go bowling or only a selet few? And I have no idea how you bowl in suit or party dress?

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I used the grandmother example merely because most individuals would not be happy at the idea of their grandma having to stand around/find something to do in a strange town for four hours because of poor planning by the hosts. It's great your Fiance's grandmother is interested in bowling, but you're still missing the point.

    Are all of your guests aware of these options? did you include it on the invitations, call/email each and every one of them, or are you spreading it by word of mouth and hoping everyone finds out? Unless you have made sure that all are aware of their choices, it is not a moot point, and guests may not be mute about it.

    Its being put on the programs and an announcement will be made at the end of mass.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • KatWAG said:

    Wow OP. I am shocked by your overall lack of consideration for your guests. All of this could have been fixed with better planning. I agree with PPs. you need to move the ceremony back or your reception forward. Did you really think its no big deal that your guests fend for themselves for 4 hours?

    Will you be inviting all of your guests to go bowling or only a selet few? And I have no idea how you bowl in suit or party dress?

    Ive done it and so has fi. Again if you would READ the posts we have hit road blocks all over for this.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    So, wait, looking back through prior posts....you knew of and considered the 4 hour gap when you booked things, and you did it anyway?

     And you think putting the notice of having bowling on the programs and an announcement at the end of the mass is all you need to do? I'd at least put it on the wedding website if you have one. I stand by my prior suggestion- contact each invitee directly and let them know of the offerings. From what I understand from the NJ thread, you just gave them a list of stuff to do/see around town.

    Also, (I'm hoping it doesn't happen for your sake, but needs to be addressed), what on earth are you going to do if another bad snowstorm hits in NJ at the time of your wedding with a 4 hour gap?

     

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2014

    Wow OP. I am shocked by your overall lack of consideration for your guests. All of this could have been fixed with better planning. I agree with PPs. you need to move the ceremony back or your reception forward. Did you really think its no big deal that your guests fend for themselves for 4 hours?

    Will you be inviting all of your guests to go bowling or only a selet few? And I have no idea how you bowl in suit or party dress?

    Ive done it and so has fi. Again if you would READ the posts we have hit road blocks all over for this.

    You decided to book a ceremony and venue site knowing there would be a 4 hour gap. You created your own road blocks.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAG said:

    Wow OP. I am shocked by your overall lack of consideration for your guests. All of this could have been fixed with better planning. I agree with PPs. you need to move the ceremony back or your reception forward. Did you really think its no big deal that your guests fend for themselves for 4 hours?

    Will you be inviting all of your guests to go bowling or only a selet few? And I have no idea how you bowl in suit or party dress?

    Ive done it and so has fi. Again if you would READ the posts we have hit road blocks all over for this.

    You decided to book a ceremony and venue sit knowing there would be a 4 hour gap. You created your own road blocks.
    and it is Moot point not Mute point......

    You caused all this yourself due to not planning properly in the first place. What did you think was going to happen when you booked the ceremony and reception?

    I personally don't mind huge gaps but if you are going to have a gap don't start bitching about it 37 days out from your wedding!
    Either own it and shut up or hang your head in shame and shut up.

    offthemarket915

  • Um, etiquette is about thinking of others' comfort.  It's VERY important.  I don't get the four hour gap, but aside from that, I don't get the 45 minute drive between the ceremony and reception.  If your guests live close to the ceremony, they'll have a drive to the reception.  If they live close to the reception, they'll have to drive to the ceremony.  And God help them if they don't live near either one and have to drive to both.  It'd be one thing to ask them to drive there and both were located near each other, but a long drive in between?

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but this should've been considered before booking venues.
    It WAS considered. I am guestimating on the drive time. Whenever I try to clock it, there isnt much traffic. Per my navigation device it states 25 minutes, so with traffic, it could be longer. As the reception venue is in a hotel, we have a block set up. We know that there are some that will go directly to the reception due to their religious beliefs (non-catholic, etc) and we know who will likely come to the ceremony. Those coming to the ceremony are those that are questioning the gap. They have been informed of the bowling party and photo opportunity, and are excited about it. Ive been to weddings with a 3-4 hour gap and i didnt mind it. It gave us time to check in and relax before hitting the shuttle.
    25 minutes isn't a bad drive.  And since you're already locked into both venues, I do like the bowling idea.  I'm not sure why you're posting though since it seems like you have the bowling thing figured out.  Were you just expecting people to reassure you that 4 hours isn't bad?



  • Um, etiquette is about thinking of others' comfort.  It's VERY important.  I don't get the four hour gap, but aside from that, I don't get the 45 minute drive between the ceremony and reception.  If your guests live close to the ceremony, they'll have a drive to the reception.  If they live close to the reception, they'll have to drive to the ceremony.  And God help them if they don't live near either one and have to drive to both.  It'd be one thing to ask them to drive there and both were located near each other, but a long drive in between?

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but this should've been considered before booking venues.

    It WAS considered. I am guestimating on the drive time. Whenever I try to clock it, there isnt much traffic. Per my navigation device it states 25 minutes, so with traffic, it could be longer. As the reception venue is in a hotel, we have a block set up. We know that there are some that will go directly to the reception due to their religious beliefs (non-catholic, etc) and we know who will likely come to the ceremony. Those coming to the ceremony are those that are questioning the gap. They have been informed of the bowling party and photo opportunity, and are excited about it.

    Ive been to weddings with a 3-4 hour gap and i didnt mind it. It gave us time to check in and relax before hitting the shuttle.

    25 minutes isn't a bad drive.  And since you're already locked into both venues, I do like the bowling idea.  I'm not sure why you're posting though since it seems like you have the bowling thing figured out.  Were you just expecting people to reassure you that 4 hours isn't bad?


    No i was venting off the negativity. But its ok.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • I think even with the 4 hour thing (not ideal, but that's been beaten to death and you seem to realize it) you'll still have an awesome day.  After all, you're marrying the man of your dreams.
    soontobemrsbuccheriCokezerofreak
  • Ok as I understand it you are trying to fix a problem and don't need all the other. ( omg you have a gap stuff) I think you want to close your gap.

    With this in mind I would consider tea/ coffee/ punch in the fellowship hall for a while. ( like a cocktail hour) You might also consider free bowling for all your guests at the rehearsal dinner location to close your gap.

    Good luck closing your gap.
  • Especially witb 37 days? I havent even gotten all our rsvps back. And who REALLY goes by ettiquette anymore? Seriously.


    If you thought the Jersey board beat you up, be glad you didn't post this "lovely" comment on the etiquette board!

    Proper etiquette is what lets your guests know that you appreciate/respect/love them. Keeping them comfortable, informed and entertained is key. You are the host, they are the guests. Try and think about this on a small scale first....if someone came over to your house you wouldn't have them sit all alone with nothing to do for 4 hours right? That is exactly why you should do everything in your power to not do it on your wedding day either.

    That being said, it's sounds like you have at least tried to come up with some ways to fill the time. My suggestion is to do a bit more. Call your guests, get it on your wedding website, you could even send a secondary invite (to everyone on your guest list!) informing them about the pre-reception/bowling thing going on. Please don't wait until the day of your wedding, I imagine you'll have a lot of frustrated guests if you do!

     

    offthemarket915luckysnorkel
  • Especially witb 37 days? I havent even gotten all our rsvps back. And who REALLY goes by ettiquette anymore? Seriously.


    If you thought the Jersey board beat you up, be glad you didn't post this "lovely" comment on the etiquette board!

    Proper etiquette is what lets your guests know that you appreciate/respect/love them. Keeping them comfortable, informed and entertained is key. You are the host, they are the guests. Try and think about this on a small scale first....if someone came over to your house you wouldn't have them sit all alone with nothing to do for 4 hours right? That is exactly why you should do everything in your power to not do it on your wedding day either.

    That being said, it's sounds like you have at least tried to come up with some ways to fill the time. My suggestion is to do a bit more. Call your guests, get it on your wedding website, you could even send a secondary invite (to everyone on your guest list!) informing them about the pre-reception/bowling thing going on. Please don't wait until the day of your wedding, I imagine you'll have a lot of frustrated guests if you do!

    I believe I've said it a few times, our immediate families (mom/dad/siblings/aunts/uncles) will be the only people at the ceremony (per the rsvp's so far).  They are all well aware of the events.  Those in the bridal party and their dates/so's all know about it as well.  I don't have the TIME to create additional invites and mail them out to 140 guests.  That's just extra money, on top of all the extra money that I'm already paying, to add to the budget.  I don't have the extra money - I've tapped all my resources and I would rather not put it on credit as I don't want to be in debt because of it.  Everything that we have paid for has been saved.  We've skimped in a lot of places and saved in a lot of other places.  The wedding is going to be beautiful no matter which way we put it together.  I thank everyone for their words of wisdom.  I plan to notify everyone, be it on our website (which most of our guests are older and don't have the inter webs) and/or on our programs.  

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • IMO...you just want to do it the way that is most convenient for you, which is totally your choice. But it's not the right thing to do for your guests. We've all tried to give you some different options (pretty politely I might add) and you still can't see any avenue but yours.

    You asked a question and got answers you didn't like, I'm sorry that upset you but the truth of the matter is we are all giving our opinions..which is what you asked for in the first place.

     

     

    offthemarket915heatheremanderson
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Especially witb 37 days? I havent even gotten all our rsvps back. And who REALLY goes by ettiquette anymore? Seriously.


    If you thought the Jersey board beat you up, be glad you didn't post this "lovely" comment on the etiquette board!

    Proper etiquette is what lets your guests know that you appreciate/respect/love them. Keeping them comfortable, informed and entertained is key. You are the host, they are the guests. Try and think about this on a small scale first....if someone came over to your house you wouldn't have them sit all alone with nothing to do for 4 hours right? That is exactly why you should do everything in your power to not do it on your wedding day either.

    That being said, it's sounds like you have at least tried to come up with some ways to fill the time. My suggestion is to do a bit more. Call your guests, get it on your wedding website, you could even send a secondary invite (to everyone on your guest list!) informing them about the pre-reception/bowling thing going on. Please don't wait until the day of your wedding, I imagine you'll have a lot of frustrated guests if you do!

    I believe I've said it a few times, our immediate families (mom/dad/siblings/aunts/uncles) will be the only people at the ceremony (per the rsvp's so far).  They are all well aware of the events.  Those in the bridal party and their dates/so's all know about it as well.  I don't have the TIME to create additional invites and mail them out to 140 guests.  That's just extra money, on top of all the extra money that I'm already paying, to add to the budget.  I don't have the extra money - I've tapped all my resources and I would rather not put it on credit as I don't want to be in debt because of it.  Everything that we have paid for has been saved.  We've skimped in a lot of places and saved in a lot of other places.  The wedding is going to be beautiful no matter which way we put it together.  I thank everyone for their words of wisdom.  I plan to notify everyone, be it on our website (which most of our guests are older and don't have the inter webs) and/or on our programs.  
    140 guests and you only have immediate family attending the ceremony?  That should be a clue.  Perhaps the reason you don't have more ceremony attendance is because people realize there is a large gap! 

    I would be VERY concerned about .....your guests are trying to tell you something!  I could understand a few might have commitments, but not the vast majority.

    I do think you need to spread the word any way possible before your wedding that there is drinks and food and bowling between the ceremony and reception  My DH and I would NEVER bowl in our suit and cocktail dress, but if you're hosting drinks and food, we'd definitely attend.  Who knows, you may even get a better attendance at the ceremony!

    Halloqueen81JCbride2015
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