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Wedding Etiquette Forum
KBlovesBG
member
Wording on wedding website. Different events with different guest lists...
We are having a small DW, with our families and a couple of close friends. The following weekend, my parents are hosting a luncheon for mine and FIs extended family members. FI and I are planning to host an open house in our home for all of our friends to attend to celebrate our marriage.
I want to create a wedding website to: Give the guests for the DW info and to post pictures from the wedding for the guests of our luncheon and open house to view.
My question: If I put separate details for the guests for the DW, Luncheon and Open House is it going to appear rude or strange to one that is viewing the page for attending the DW and see the info for the luncheon but is not invited(since that is family only, per my parents)??
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Re: Wording on wedding website. Different events with different guest lists...
If you are hosting the DW, then you deal with that aspect. If your parents are hosting the luncheon, let them handle those details. Host the open house later and make it unrelated to your wedding.
If you want photos for people to look at, then have them printed at Target or Shutterfly or wherever and just put them in a nice album for people to flip through.
This is weird. Just invite the people you want at your wedding to the DW and if they can make it, awesome.
Thank you for your honest opinions....that is what I was looking for.
Incidentally, the only people who should be invited to ANY wedding-related event (including the brunch and open house) are the ones invited to the actual wedding. So essentially, you're having 3 events for the same small group of family. You can't properly invite any friends to these parties unless they get wedding invitations too (they don't have to be able to attend, just be invited). To do otherwise is impolite on your part.
I don't get this whole 'we want intimate but also with everyone' thing. You can't have it both ways. Pick one. They're mutually exclusive, but neither way is in any way wrong.
PP had good idea about getting pictures printed on shutterfly. And you could always link your album on facebook if you use that. You can have the album available to view at your open house and at the table at the luncheon.
And I also agree with PP that I wouldn't treat the open house as a post wedding event. If you try to market it as something wedding related, people might view it as a consolation prize for not having been good enough to invite to the real wedding. If you just treat it as an open house, people will come and have fun, and those that want to talk to you and gush about the wedding can do so, but no one will feel obligated.
This is one of the reasons I am not a fan of DW or "at home receptions."
If you want to include everyone and have them be present to celebrate your marriage, then host a local wedding and invite everyone, then go on a honeymoon.
If you don't want to do that, then have your small DW and then let that be the end of it. I'm sure you will see the extended family over the course of the year and you tell them about your wedding then, rather than have an event specifically for them.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Does your website have logon-features that allow you to lock who sees what page? Because as you obviously learned in kindergarten, you should not talk about a party in front of people who are not invited. With all the free wedding websites available nowadays, you could create one wedding website for each party you are going to have, and distribute the logon information only to the guestlist for that party.
It's silly to have a website for a luncheon and open house in the first place. Making 3 websites for 3 different groups of people is bound to get confusing and I'm pretty sure someone will end up with the incorrect page and find out about the other events anyways. An invitation and/or phone call is perfectly acceptable for the non wedding invites.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Frankly, I find it rather silly to have a website for a wedding. You are going to spend, what, two years -- well, okay, six years and two boys for some people -- planning your wedding; and, one hopes, sixty or seventy years as a head of a marital household. Why not just have a household website and blog, and build on it as your life goes on, with a section for your wedding during the short time that it's relevant. It seems like such a waste to go to all the effort to communicate your web-presence to an extended circle of connexions, only to have it expire when interest in your wedding expires.
Also, I want to be clear that my advice wasn't to skip having a luncheon or a house warming party. They're just not related to your wedding and shouldn't be treated like they are.
But I'm with Maggie. If you wanted to celebrate your wedding with everyone, you should have just invited them.
Some things would be silly on a wedding website, yes. There isn't any need for "About Us" sections or anything like that. But putting hotel and transportation information, scheduling, and information about local attractions on a wedding website is not "silly." It's useful.
In most cases, Google has already done a far better job of putting up hotel and transportation information, and information about local attractions. "Scheduling" is a subject for the invitation.
Yes, people can Google whether there is a taxi service in my city. What they can't google is the shuttle we're providing from the church to the reception and back to the hotel. It takes 10 minutes to put together a website and if it makes planning the trip easier for one of my guests, it isn't "silly." it's not like it costs a domain fee to make a website. Who gives a shit if someone doesn't want to look at it after the wedding? The point is to help BEFORE the wedding.
In most cases, Google has already done a far better job of putting up hotel and transportation information, and information about local attractions. "Scheduling" is a subject for the invitation.
For once I agree with you AroundtheBlock. All information that is pertinent can easily be put into the invitation with specific enclosure cards. Which include exact directions to your ceremony location and hotel code to get the discount. A website basically repeats everything that is already (or should be) included in the invite.@scribe95....I wouldn't say that details are changing given the response. Honestly, I don't know what to call the "open house" at this point, details have yet to be finalized and that is why I came to this board.
We are building a home and will be settled in it just after the wedding, so maybe we'll have a celebration there, whether it's for our marriage or for our new home. I may have left out a detail....three of my friends and FSIL that would be coming to the DW are all having babies within 3 months of the wedding date and have all said they aren't sure they can make it....so that is what brought up possibly having an open house in our new home, was so those that cannot make it can celebrate with us another way without having to travel. And this "open house" is not a for sure thing....it's just an idea we are throwing around during our planning phase.
And the luncheon is totally my mothers doing and will not be related to our wedding but to the purpose of our families getting to know each other.
ActualIy I think it comes across as very hospitable. It used to be, that a new wife's first duty on returning from her honeymoon was to establish her new household's norms and reputation for hospitality. Any etiquette standard that aims to reduce the amount of social entertaining and the reciprocal graciousness of invitations and visits comes across to me as rather suspect. And assuming that a lady's proferring of an invitation is motivated by greed casts a rather negative light on the person making the assumption: honi soit qui mal y pense.