Evening thread

crfische

THREE MONTHS THREE MONTHS!

Three month engagements are perfect.

Ciaram22

Trust me LDY there are lots of things that DH talks about that I have not a clue about.

The weird thing is listening to my dad talk to DH because they are closer in age than we are.

mica178

If I could have planned a Catholic wedding in three months, we would have done it.  But that would have been impossible.  Our church wouldn't have allowed it, and our relatives couldn't have made it.  

Fishy, you're awesome.  But you know that.

crfische

LDY, there's a lot about relationships with that kind of age gap that is different. I mean, it DOES make a difference the people who are IN that relationship, but age gaps that large in relationships do make a difference.

Every relationship is different, and I totes get that, but after my much older man relationship, I quickly realized that with THAT person, THAT age gap was fucking not going to work for me. Unfortunately, I realized that too late.

Ciaram22

There were days during wedding planning that I wished I'd had a 3 month engagement instead of a 14 month engagement. I had to finally stop talking wedding planning with certain family members or I would get yelled at because they didn't like something we were doing.

LDYGTR13

Ha! Yeah I bet that's weird! My brother and H share the same name and they're the same age. His sister and I actually are pretty similar and we are the same age. It's kinda weird - like we married our siblings lol

crfische

Mica. You are more awesome. And so fucking beautiful.

Birdie1483

Welp we got engaged at the end of July and I really wanted a fall wedding and this past fall was too close to plan a wedding for 200+ guests in my town. Everything was booked. We also didn't want to get married in a church, so we were kind of limited to what was available in Evansville. The venue we booked had a 15 month wait. So here we are.

I'm fine with it now, but I was REALLY bummed we weren't having an October wedding. It took me a month or two to get over it, even though Nov. 5 is just 5 days from October. The venue had 10/29 open, but I have a number thing and really didn't like the 10/29 number combo and I also didn't want a Halloween weekend wedding. I know I'm weird.

Birdie1483

fishy some day I want to be nosy and find out more about your previous relationship.

LDYGTR13

I wanted an October wedding too and thankfully the people who were penciled in for 10/23 hadnt put in a deposit Bc it was either that or 10/30 and I wouldn't have wanted a Halloween wedding either.

Birdie1483

10/30 would have been better for me than 10/23. But I hate the number 23 for many reasons.

crfische

Oh I'll tell ya, what do you want do know?

mica178

Oh Fishy.  You make me blush.  I'm going to forgive your Viking love, even if they beat my beloved 49ers in the playoffs the first season I paid attention to football.

Meg1036

All right, I'm tempted to stick around for the convo on Fishy's previous relationship, but it's bedtime for me.

Goodnight, ladies!

LDYGTR13

Spill, fishy! I wanna know too!

mica178

Good night, Meg!  I'm so glad you came out of lurking!

*eagerly waits to hear about Fishy's past*

Birdie1483

Just the story! Besides passing comments about a previous engagement, this is the first I've ever heard (seen) you talk about it.

I don't have a very good story, but I was dating a guy for around 8 months. I met him through mutual friends and his friends were marrying my friends. It seemed perfect. We got along well for the most part, but around September of 2006 I just started getting a feeling. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I kept feeling like he just wasn't the one. I broke it off with him on 9/30 and met FI on 10/21. There was of course major dramz with all of this, but they're all cool now and he gets along well with FI.

LDYGTR13

Night, Meg!!

Birdie1483

Night Meg!

crfische

give me 5, scott needs the computer. Then I'll tell ya. But just let me know what you wnat to know? My previous engagement or the super older guy? I just need questions. I'll answer em, swear. Just...hold. I'll be back in five.

Birdie1483

Oh I thought they were the same!

LDYGTR13

Ditto birdie lol. Tell us about both!

Ciaram22

Night Meg!

The guy I dated before DH I dated for 6 months and he was my age. I thought at first it was a match made in heaven. I started to hang out with now DH before he would go to work and just began to realize that my BF was not who I wanted to be with. I took him to my coworkers wedding and that night he pissed me off. On the way home I just told him that I couldn't do it anymore and I was done. We broke up on 8/27 and DH and I started dating on 8/29.

mica178

I was with the same guy (on and off) for 6 years.  He left me for the woman he eventually married.  Right after I got over him, I was the MOH in a friend's wedding.  She said my ex could come as my date but she wouldn't allow me to bring the guy I was seeing at the time.  I was furious.  However, 5 days after I returned from her wedding, H asked me out on our first date.  It's funny how things work out.

mica178

I'm not Mandy, Fishy.  I'm not good at questions, but here goes:

1. How did you meet your ex?

2. How much older was he?
3. Did you get along with his friends? 

4. Did he power trip over being with a young hottie like you?

5. What did your parents say when they heard about the age gap?

6. You said you were engaged.  Why did you think things were going to work out?  What snapped you out of it?

7. How'd things fall apart?

Birdie1483

She told you you couldn't bring a certain guy?? Why would she want you to bring a guy who left you heartbroken??

mica178

She budgeted for me to bring my ex.  I'm guessing that she decided to move to the B list when we broke up.  I don't know.  It sucked.  On the other hand, if I'd been allowed to bring my planned date to the wedding, I wouldn't have ended up with H.

mica178

(Eta: she didn't consider the guy I was dating to be an established relationship.  She was sort of right, but I did a lot for her.  But again, having to tell him he couldn't come as my date put a damper on our relationship, which allowed me to decide to go out with H on our first day.  Somehow it all worked out.)

Birdie1483

I had to technically go to a wedding after I broke up with my ex and after I'd gone on a first date with FI. It sucked.

ETA: I had to go to the wedding with my ex. He was an invited guest as well, but since we had just broken up and were still "friends" he came with my since he was staying with me. It was really awkward. Looking back I should have told him to find somewhere else to stay, but at the time our breakup was so new and things were so muddy that I didn't want to feel like a bad person.

mica178

I had a couple outstanding promised dates with other people too after I started dating H.  It was weird and yucky.