Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Ring engravings

We purchased my wedding ring first.  I did not choose any engravings on my ring on purpose.  He is still deciding on his ring, and will place his order tomorrow.  He wanted a specific phrase engraved on his ring.  We got a call from the jeweler saying that they engraved my ring with his phrase.  The jeweler said it was traditional for the groom to say what to engrave on the bride's ring and for the bride to say what to engrave on the groom's ring.  I have never heard of this before.  I feel like if this was the case, that they should have told me that when I ordered my ring.  Should I be surprised?  Am I wrong in thinking they should have warned me?

Re: Ring engravings

  • Are you saying that the jeweler engraved the wrong ring?  If he did, then he needs to make it good.  Tell him you didn't want your ring to be engraved, and that he made the mistake.
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I'm with @CMGragain, I'm a bit confused. Did your Fi want to engrave your ring and maybe wanted to surprise you?
  • CMGragain
    I was confused too.  The jeweler engraved the wrong ring.  He will make it all good.
    So if I buy a ring and not ask about engraving, that should tell the jeweler something, right?
    It's not like I needed to specifically say "by the way, no engraving on this ring."
  • Jennycolada
    We discussed it before going to the store.  I knew he'd want at least the date so that he wouldnot forget his anniversary.  He also knew that I did not want anything engraved on mine.  So, it was not like he wanted to surprise me with a message on my ring.  When he found out about the mistake,he was so apologetic and asked the jeweler to call me and make it right.


  • I thought it was traditional for the person giving the ring to choose the engraving (ex: the groom would pick the bride's engaving and vice versa).  However, many traditions are not the norm anymore and I think this is one of them.  When your FI asked for the engraving, the jeweler should have asked which ring it was for rather than assuming.  I think both parties made an assumption, but the jeweler ultimately made the mistake and should correct it at his expense.
  • Thanks Ven&Radio
    I had never heard of this before, so I was incredibly confused and frustrated at the situation.  It is as you say a tradition, one was unknown to me at the time.  Thanks for helping me realize I am not crazy, and perhaps overreacted a bit.

    As an afterthought, it seems that it would be beneficial for the jeweler to educate all customers on this and tell them about it a the time the couple purchases rings.  There may be some like us that have no idea about this, and might be open to it.  Perhaps I would have considered it, but I am so put off by the whole thing, that I don't think I would go back to get it engraved later. 
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