FSIL Attire

EllieAugust

I would really love some advice.  My FMIL texted me about my FSIL planned attire for my upcoming wedding.  It is a short, white cocktail dress.  She specifically asked whether or not I would have an issue and if I approved.  I don't know what to say.  My FH had already showed me a picture and he had told his mom that he didn't know if I would care, but he thought people would probably side-eye it.  My FMIL is very sweet and really wants me to be happy with everything.  The truth is, I think it's weird that she would pick that dress.  But I guess I don't really care.  I know everyone will talk about it, and I won't really feel like I will defend it...since I DO think it is weird!

My FSIL and I don't have a great relationship, not a bad one, really we just don't have one.  She is still "finding herself" and we have just never really connected.  She is still has some growing up to do, and we also don't live near each other.  The last thing I want to do is sound bitchy by telling her mom, I don't want her to wear something.  But she asked me and my FMIL has told me many a times that she really wants me to be honest with her about things (ex. Not liking a place for the RD, that she really prefer that I am happy than that I make nice).  Any advice would be great.  

Maggie0829

If it were me I would tell my FMIL that I didn't care, even if I did care.  I think it was rude of your FMIL to put you in this position.

KatWAG

EllieAugust said:

I would really love some advice.  My FMIL texted me about my FSIL planned attire for my upcoming wedding.  It is a short, white cocktail dress.  She specifically asked whether or not I would have an issue and if I approved.  I don't know what to say.  My FH had already showed me a picture and he had told his mom that he didn't know if I would care, but he thought people would probably side-eye it.  My FMIL is very sweet and really wants me to be happy with everything.  The truth is, I think it's weird that she would pick that dress.  But I guess I don't really care.  I know everyone will talk about it, and I won't really feel like I will defend it...since I DO think it is weird!

My FSIL and I don't have a great relationship, not a bad one, really we just don't have one.  She is still "finding herself" and we have just never really connected.  She is still has some growing up to do, and we also don't live near each other.  The last thing I want to do is sound bitchy by telling her mom, I don't want her to wear something.  But she asked me and my FMIL has told me many a times that she really wants me to be honest with her about things (ex. Not liking a place for the RD, that she really prefer that I am happy than that I make nice).  Any advice would be great.  

Okay, my reading comprehension might be a bit off but FSIL asked FMIL about the dress, not you, correct? If this is the case, I would leave it up to FMIL to respond. Since you dont have a good relationship with FSIL, I think this is even more reason to leave this alone. She is about to be your family. I wouldnt want to start off arguing over a dress.

  Honestly, when your wedding day gets here, I doubt you will even notice what she wears. But yes, people will side-eye her.

EllieAugust

Katwag, no my FMIL asked me about FSIL's attire (I wish it was the other way).  She lives at home still so she showed her the dress.

I think I will just tell my FMIL that I don't really care.  Maybe in the next few months she will show someone the dress and they will tell her another dress might be better.  I don't really want her to be side-eyed at my wedding and feel uncomfortable.  

delujm0

I would tell FMIL that i didn't care, but that some of the other guests would probably side-eye her for wearing white to a wedding.  if FMIL is as concerned about appearances and pleasing people as she seems to be based on this post, she won't want to allow her daughter to wear something that is going to make people talk negatively about her.

 

but seriously, who cares.  Unless she is planning to wear a bridal gown it's not a big deal.

banana468

Musikalbunni said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice.

I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

SJM7538

Just ignore it. You won't notice, not one bit. You will be way too busy mingling and celebrating with your guests.

Two women wore head to toe white to my wedding, one of which was my grandmother. I had no clue. I never noticed. A friend pointed it out to me after H and I got back from our honeymoon. And my grandmother was in pictures with me!

EllieAugust

Update: I texted her back and said "It is a really pretty dress.  If she wants to wear it I don't really care.  I do think people may think it's weird for her to wear a white dress. She could color it up with some accessories, if she really wants to wear it."  then I changed the subject.

banana468

Musikalbunni said:

banana468 said:

Musikalbunni said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice.

I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

I personally don't see the big deal of someone else wearing white to a wedding. I tend to overlook a lot of stuff and this might be one of those things. But every head is a world. 

If the OP is bothered by it, then she needs to speak up and tell her she disagrees with her choice. But I personally wouldn't care. I've been to weddings in the past where I've seen people wear variants of white or white and wedding went on as usual.

But I am within the group of peeps who would never wear white to a wedding as well. But I wouldn't judge others who did. 

I don't care about red or black but white is the bride's color and any woman should know that.

PrettyGirlLost

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

HisGirlFriday13

PrettyGirlLost said:

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

Because white started being used as a wedding colour to symbolise wealth -- you had enough money to buy a dress that you'd probably only wear once because it would get dirty or torn or whatever -- so for someone ELSE to wear white symbolised their equal or surpassing wealth, and it's ALWAYS tacky to show up someone at their own party.

PrettyGirlLost

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

Because white started being used as a wedding colour to symbolise wealth -- you had enough money to buy a dress that you'd probably only wear once because it would get dirty or torn or whatever -- so for someone ELSE to wear white symbolised their equal or surpassing wealth, and it's ALWAYS tacky to show up someone at their own party.

Very interesting.

But now this is no longer the case.  I always think that the only possible way someone can show a bride up at her wedding day is if they show up buck ass naked.

Maggie0829

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

Because white started being used as a wedding colour to symbolise wealth -- you had enough money to buy a dress that you'd probably only wear once because it would get dirty or torn or whatever -- so for someone ELSE to wear white symbolised their equal or surpassing wealth, and it's ALWAYS tacky to show up someone at their own party.

I get the wealth part, but unless a guest shows up in a more expensive wedding gown then the bride, then them wearing a short white cocktail dress would not be showing up the bride (that is unless the bride is also wearing a cocktail dress).

But I wouldn't wear white because there are very few white dresses that I like and I prefer a bright color or a LBD over anything white.

HisGirlFriday13

PrettyGirlLost said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

Because white started being used as a wedding colour to symbolise wealth -- you had enough money to buy a dress that you'd probably only wear once because it would get dirty or torn or whatever -- so for someone ELSE to wear white symbolised their equal or surpassing wealth, and it's ALWAYS tacky to show up someone at their own party.

Very interesting.

But now this is no longer the case.  I always think that the only possible way someone can show a bride up at her wedding day is if they show up buck ass naked.

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

PrettyGirlLost

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Very interesting.

But now this is no longer the case.  I always think that the only possible way someone can show a bride up at her wedding day is if they show up buck ass naked.

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

This would never even cross my mind.  And it's not that I don't notice what people wear- I like to "people watch" and I like to see what clothes, accessories, shoes people wear. . . and sometimes make fashion police commentary to FI. 

But women wearing white at weddings doesn't make it on my "worst dress/side eye" lists simply because they are wearing white.  I really think it is strange that people judge it. *shrug*

jdluvr06

PrettyGirlLost said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Very interesting.

But now this is no longer the case.  I always think that the only possible way someone can show a bride up at her wedding day is if they show up buck ass naked.

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

This would never even cross my mind.  And it's not that I don't notice what people wear- I like to "people watch" and I like to see what clothes, accessories, shoes people wear. . . and sometimes make fashion police commentary to FI. 

But women wearing white at weddings doesn't make it on my "worst dress/side eye" lists simply because they are wearing white.  I really think it is strange that people judge it. *shrug*

I agree with you @prettylostgirl. I don't what the big deal is. My cousin is wearing the prettiest white sundress to my wedding (I helped her pick it out) it looks so good on her. Of course I'm not wearing a white wedding dress so I guess that is a bit different.

photokitty

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

banana468 said:

You can't really say what people get to wear for an event. The whole no one wear white but the bride is really not even relevant to now a days. Just let it go. 

I guarantee you that no one will confuse her for the bride. It's just old traditions that don't make sense anymore. I really could not care less who wears what to my wedding. As long as no one shows up naked. 

Good luck!

I disagree about the relevancy of the no white rule. I absolutely judge women in white dresses at a wedding. I don't mistake them for the bride but I think that unless they're living under a rock, they should know better. They look foolish for making such a piss poor choice. I would tell your FMIL that while you think the dress is really cute, other guests may side eye the color choice.

Not to single Banana out, but to use her comment as a springboard, personally, I just don't understand this "rule".  If nobody ever mistakes them for the bride, then why side eye it at all?  Why is it a piss poor choice?  It's not like anyone side eyes guests who wear the same color as a bride who doesn't wear a white gown.

OP if you really don't care about what any of your guests are going to wear, not just your FSIL, then just tell FMIL something like, "Cute dress, she will look great!" Or "That's fine by me, I don't really care what guests wear to the wedding."

Then if your FMIL thinks the dress choice is inappropriate, she can have the discussion with her own daughter on her own time.  Don't throw in any commentary on what other guests might think of her wearing white, or that they might side eye her, etc.  That will just make your answer look passive aggressive and controlling.

Because white started being used as a wedding colour to symbolise wealth -- you had enough money to buy a dress that you'd probably only wear once because it would get dirty or torn or whatever -- so for someone ELSE to wear white symbolised their equal or surpassing wealth, and it's ALWAYS tacky to show up someone at their own party.

Very interesting.

But now this is no longer the case.  I always think that the only possible way someone can show a bride up at her wedding day is if they show up buck ass naked.

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

PrettyGirlLost

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

Maggie0829

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.

PrettyGirlLost

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.

I figured but I was hoping she would have some silly or witty comment ;-)

offthemarket915

To me, it's a matter of respect. Choosing to wear white, when there's an unlimited choice of colors, is just disrespectful. In my area, it is just not done, and would garner backlash. Like a lot of traditions / etiquette, your lack of understanding does not make you right (speaking to the general 'you', no one in particular). Frankly, it sounds so immature to me... who says I can't wear white? I'll wear whatever the hell I want, wah wah wah. Uh, ok rock on, but just know to the rest of us who know better, you look ignorant at best, and purposely disrespectful at worst.

Maggie0829

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.

I figured but I was hoping she would have some silly or witty comment ;-)

Something like "the clown, the juggler, and the AW in white"?

phira

I would say, "I wouldn't mind, but I do know that some of my family members would think it was inappropriate. If she's having trouble finding something, let me know; we could go shopping together."

PrettyGirlLost

phira said:

I would say, "I wouldn't mind, but I do know that some of my family members would think it was inappropriate. If she's having trouble finding something, let me know; we could go shopping together."

Normally I agree with you, but in this case I wouldn't use that phrasing. It comes off as passive aggressive- I said I don't care but I really do- controlling- let me suggest what you should wear- and micromanaging- let me pick out what you should wear.

We tell brides all the time not to dictate guests' attire and not to worry about what guests are wearing. Well, this includes letting go of the white issue. And I think other guests should let go of this too.

photokitty

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.

I figured but I was hoping she would have some silly or witty comment ;-)

I'm not a monkey who sings & dances whenever you want to be entertained PGL!! **sobs**

;-p

PrettyGirlLost

photokitty said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.


I figured but I was hoping she would have some silly or witty comment ;-)




I'm not a monkey who sings & dances whenever you want to be entertained PGL!! **sobs**

;-p

Of course you are not! You are a classy kitty who knows what the litter box is for. Those awful monkeys fling poo!

photokitty

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Well, it's not the only tradition that's archaic and antiquated -- veils technically symbolise virginity and lots of non-virgin brides wear them; fathers 'give away' daughters to men they live with; etc.

Lots of things that are "traditional" at weddings stem from traditions we don't follow anymore, but we still do them. 

This is something some people -- a lot of people, maybe -- would side-eye. I would. I'd think the woman doing it was an AW who was jealous she wasn't the bride. 

Totally agree. Show me your wedding picture and the 3rd person I will notice is the AW who wore a white dress. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. It's also about dressing appropriately for the occasion - I'm also not going to wear a white dress or blue jeans - I could wear either, but I know both are not appropriate for the event.

Who are the 1st two?

I am guessing the bride and groom.

I figured but I was hoping she would have some silly or witty comment ;-)

I'm not a monkey who sings & dances whenever you want to be entertained PGL!! **sobs**

;-p

Of course you are not! You are a classy kitty who knows what the litter box is for. Those awful monkeys fling poo!

sarahufl

Musikalbunni said:

Actually, one of my cousin's took a picture with someone wearing white at the her wedding and later posted on FB with the caption "TWINS." She clearly thought it was funny that someone wore white to her wedding.

I would side-eye/judge a cash bar, a drunken groom/bride, or even a gap. But not someone wearing white. Maybe she's worried it will be like Pippa Middleton and her white dress and how everyone kept talking about her and not Kate. 

Pretty sure people were excited about Pippa's rockin' bod, and not the fact she was wearing white

PrettyGirlLost

I hate to say it but Kate's dress was pretty *yawn* to me.

phira

@PrettyGirlLost True. I guess that's my advice if the OP wants to say, "I'm not okay with it" without saying, "I'm not okay with it."

312Emily

EllieAugust said:

Update: I texted her back and said "It is a really pretty dress.  If she wants to wear it I don't really care.  I do think people may think it's weird for her to wear a white dress. She could color it up with some accessories, if she really wants to wear it."  then I changed the subject.

You handled it well, and I hope FMIL and FSIL can read between the lines.