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I'm not going through the exact same thing, but I understand how you must feel. First of all, other people's weddings have no bearing on your own. Could you tell whoever is insisting that you invite 30 extra people that you simply can't afford to add them but if they like, they could cover the cost of those specific people? Or just have a non-dramatic but honest conversation with your dad about the issues you outlined to us and the effect it is having on your feelings about the wedding? Take the money you've budgeted and marry your fiance in an exotic location just you two?
The good news, if you can see it that way, is that YOU are paying for your own wedding so the choices, though very hard, are your own- no complications because someone else is holding the purse strings. My FI's parents are generously paying for most of our wedding- I'm not sure if we could even afford one otherwise- but as a result, the "small intimate" wedding I wanted has 30 guests on my side, 150 on his. (At least they cut their list wayyy down, this is apparently considered extremely small to them!) The planning is completely out of control.
I know it's easier said then done, but do your best to plan the wedding YOU want- if your dad/others are selfish enough to disown you for that, not having them around might be better for your sanity.
Yeah no potluck will happen. I know someone who did it a few years ago and I wasnt a fan then. It will either be super small or super huge because there wont be a way to make it any smaller once I add in the family!
I'm almost done with planning (wedding is in 2 months), but now is when we're starting to get grief from people. I'm honestly so annoyed. I don't need anyone making me feel bad for my decisions for my wedding. WE are footing the bill, so I feel like no one had a right to dictate who we invite. Our invitations have already been addressed by the calligrapher but now Fi's AUNT is mad bc we are not inviting small children, specifically Fi's 6 yo SECOND cousin. I'm not even inviting all of my adult cousins and we've decided to not have children at the wedding. My money = my choice. Just bc we've decided to invite some teenage cousins, now all of a sudden we're expected to invite all age groups?! Soooo annoying!
@Lolo8383 we're going to Spain as well for our HM. SO ready for that right about now!