I think we are postponing the wedding...

emmaaa

I'm sure this situation is VERY stressful, I can not relate to Med School but I know school in general is stressful. However, My FI andI have dated since we were seniors in high school and after graduation I went to college, he did not. We moved in together while I was in college and he completely supported me all four years. Not just financially but emotionally an physically. Now that I have graduated we decided that he needed to go back to college. So he is in school now and will graduate after we are married. I am the bred-winner right now and support him as he did me. I will attest to the fact that having your partner along the way can really help with stress. This may be something you would both need in these years he is in Med School.

The decision is personal and really for you and your FI to decide. Most people don't have their drea wedding. I always wanted to get married early fall and now I will be married in the dead of winter! Finances will always be a concern and it is important to learn how to work together on that. It does sound relieving that his parents will be covering a lot of his expenses through school though! I hope you can take time to really talk about this in depth with your FI and discuss what will be best for the two of you. Like PP said, pushing the wedding back wouldn't be the WORST thing but I could see how it would be upsetting. 

P.S. I like the idea of a small wedding in Cape Cod this summer, it only it would work!

**Sorry I seemed to ramble, just couldn't gather my thoughts properly...it's been a long day and I haven't had my wine yet.

erinlin25

RajahBMFD said:

amandaj424 said:

SBmini said:

Given the timeline, budgets, etc... maybe you should consider a simple ceremony now and maybe do a big vow renewal a few years down the road. Can you go to Cape Cod this summer with some close friends and family and tie the knot quickly? 

If you really want to be married so you can live together, perhaps that is what you should focus on opposed to all the pomp and circumstance that goes along with a big wedding. Especially if your fiance will be super stressed with school and unable to really enjoy it. 

It is not so much the wedding that is the concern.  My mom, and myself, are more concerned with the stress of marriage during med school.  The problem with the wedding comes in for scheduling purposes only.  The problem with this summer would be that I will have only been working for a few months after graduation and that would only make the financial stress worse.  

Why are you assuming your marriage would be stressful? 

Medical school was actually less stressful at times because I had a partner to keep me sane. 

We are assuming financial stress.  We live in Boston which is just laughably expensive and he would have no income.  So it would be just myself supporting him and I mean that is pretty much how it is now, except I live with my parents so I don't pay any bills.  The stress for him probably wouldn't be much more but my fear is that for me it would be just because I am the sole support of the two of us.


*STUCK IN THE BOX*
I am not in the medical field, but in terms of being the sole support of a relationship I am there for the most part.  H started a business 3 years ago so moved back to his home town and lived with his mom while he got things up and going.  I moved in with them and started helping at the shop (auto business).  We thought we would be living with MIL for a year before moving out on our own before the wedding, but it actually turned into 2 years and we even still lived there a few months after the wedding--which was not fun but it was not horrible.  Anyway, we finally are in a place of our own but it is me paying the rent & bills for now since his income basically goes right back into the business.  Did we have to cut back on date nights and fancy dinners or vacations, absolutely but it was more important that we be on our own so we do what we need to make it work.  It is a little stressful being the sole provider but I know it is temporary and am just grateful we have the ability to run a successful business and make a living for ourselves.  We were able to save up the past year so had that to get us started and then my paychecks basically go to making it work.   You and your FI need to figure out a budget of what the cost of living would likely be and what expenses you would have together.  Marriage is about working together--it does not always have to be the man supporting the family.  He is obviously in a career where soon enough he will be contributing and providing.  So you need to decide if it something you can temporarily take the reigns on.  If it financially is not possible, then yes maybe you will have to wait to get married until you can support yourselves and that is fine.  You need to decide what ultimately is better for your relationship-- whether you are apart or living together there will be stress on the relationship, so you need to decide on what is going to be better in the long run.  My husband tells me all the time that he would not have survived the stress of the business if he did not have me to help him/be there for him during the process.  And knowing we could get through the stressful times together was a major plus for our relationship. 

Postponing the wedding is not the end of the world, but if you are more concerned about your FI not being able to provide for you after the marriage that is a whole different story.  If you want to be married and live together, get married so you can live together.  Save as much as you can now so when time comes to move out together you have a nice cushion to help get you going.  When H an I lived together when we were dating he made much more money than I did so he paid more of the expenses the first 1.5 years living together.  So now that I can be the one to help him it  is not an issue for me.  We are growing our lives together and I know having the support of one another has personally made our relationship stronger.

singinchick13

It does sound very stressful and it must be very difficult to go so long without seeing your FI. I know if it were me I would personally rather live together and be able to see one another every day, even with the stress of med school and supporting two people. If you think about it though, will there ever be a time in the future when FI is supporting you? Like maybe if you have kids and he is the only one working while you take care of LO? That is our current situation and we are getting married next year. If you work out the finances and you consider absolutely EVERYthing that you will need to pay for, it is manageable on one salary, depending what kind of home you are living in. Living on one income may not be as easy and comfortable as living on two, but it is one of those situations that most couples encounter at one point or another. If you work together and support each other focusing on what is important the time will pass by quickly and you will be on to the next adventure.

P.S. @RajahBMFD I hope the NICU was not that bad. The Dr's and nurses were so amazing there when DS was born and went from HFO to major surgery for a diaphragmatic hernia, and a complete recovery by one month old!! You guys are truly amazing.

FiancB

The support thing kind of stuck out to me as well. So what, until he's making enough to support you, he's on his own? When the first person retires, do you get a divorce because that person isn't pulling their weight anymore? How would people react if the situation were reversed and he was unwilling to be the breadwinner and support you? I think people would call him a jerk and tell him to man up.

I'm in school right now and while I do have enough to pay my fair share, FI is the breadwinner. Once I'm done with school I'll be making more than him most likely so I will be. Give and take. When one person is working more, the other takes over more of the housework (for most of the year I do most of it since I'm home a lot, but come summer when I work more and he's off since he's a teacher, he takes over). 

I probably came across as pretty blunt and more rude than my intentions, but that really did rub me the wrong way. I would really want to live with my SO and if I had to get married first I wouldn't be all that concerned with who's supporting who.  Even though he's a student, I'm guessing he has money from loans to help with living expenses, or parents are helping and that wouldn't change. Or are his parents the sort where once someone's married they are cut off and should pay their own way?

abbyj700

I have to say. I was so happy that my FI lived together at our hardest financial times to date. He lost his job and I was in a transition into becoming a consultant and went a few months before my paychecks caught up. He leaned on me, I leaned on him, and the day he lost his job -I pulled into our driveway to see him sitting in the garage with a beer and a blank look on his face. I don't think he would have wanted to be anywhere else with anyone else at that time. Almost directly after we got through it all - he asked me to marry him. I think it was because we knew even through those stressers we could do this for forever. 

If you have to provide for him in his time of need. Do it. He's working hard to make you guys a better life. Is it going to be hard? Of course. But why is the answer to sit at home with your parents saving money while he struggles to get by? 

You're about to graduate from college and enter into "adulthood". This is the man you've chosen to navigate the waters with for the rest of your life. Financial and emotional stress is going to be a part of that. 

If postponing is what you both feel is best - by all means, do so. But thinking that this is going to make things easier on him/you/both of you as he has no money, no time and tons of stress...I don't know if that is necessarily true.

JCbride2015

This sounds super stressful.  Law student here-- it's not quite as demanding as med, but damn it is NOT fun.  And we are also looking at 80-hour weeks during firm summer and the early years at a firm.  I am so glad I've had Fi to support me through this.

It also sticks out to me that you are concerned about marriage being stressful.  If you think your marriage is going to be stressful, you really need to do some evaluation about how you feel regarding marrying your Fi in the first place.  Marriage should be something positive.

And you mean stress as financial stress?  That completely confuses me.  Taking out the expense of the wedding itself, what additional financial stress would marriage bring?  And do you mean that Fi is a student and doesn't have income?  Would his parents stop supporting him if you get married?  Because if his parents are supporting him right now, and you have income from work, that seems to me like it would work.  Does it bother you on some sort of emotional or moral level that he wouldn't be bringing a salary into the marriage?

Here's how we are doing it: been dating since high school, moved in together after college for two years (both working).  I then went to the best law school I could get into, which happened to be out of state.  I moved in with a roommate near school, and Fi moved back with his parents.  That first year sucked being apart, but Fi visited me all the time.  He paid some of our common bills still (cell phone, car insurance).  And he sent me a small amount of cash each month to help make ends meet.  The rest I covered with student loans and a part-time job.

After first year, I transferred to a much better school near home.  We moved back in together.  He covers his share of the household expenses through his salary.  I cover my share through student loans.  Nothing financially will change when we get married, except paying for the wedding itself.

mrsbanany

FiancB said:

The support thing kind of stuck out to me as well. So what, until he's making enough to support you, he's on his own? When the first person retires, do you get a divorce because that person isn't pulling their weight anymore? How would people react if the situation were reversed and he was unwilling to be the breadwinner and support you? I think people would call him a jerk and tell him to man up.

I'm in school right now and while I do have enough to pay my fair share, FI is the breadwinner. Once I'm done with school I'll be making more than him most likely so I will be. Give and take. When one person is working more, the other takes over more of the housework (for most of the year I do most of it since I'm home a lot, but come summer when I work more and he's off since he's a teacher, he takes over). 

I probably came across as pretty blunt and more rude than my intentions, but that really did rub me the wrong way. I would really want to live with my SO and if I had to get married first I wouldn't be all that concerned with who's supporting who.  Even though he's a student, I'm guessing he has money from loans to help with living expenses, or parents are helping and that wouldn't change. Or are his parents the sort where once someone's married they are cut off and should pay their own way?

My parents are actually like that. I am in school now and my parents pay for the majority of my necessities (food, clothing, housing, phone, car, etc). If I were not getting married they would continue to pay for those things so I could save my money until I was married.  That is where part of the problem comes in.  FI's parents would continue to support him but my parents would not.  

mrsbanany

JCBride2014 said:

This sounds super stressful.  Law student here-- it's not quite as demanding as med, but damn it is NOT fun.  And we are also looking at 80-hour weeks during firm summer and the early years at a firm.  I am so glad I've had Fi to support me through this.

It also sticks out to me that you are concerned about marriage being stressful.  If you think your marriage is going to be stressful, you really need to do some evaluation about how you feel regarding marrying your Fi in the first place.  Marriage should be something positive.

And you mean stress as financial stress?  That completely confuses me.  Taking out the expense of the wedding itself, what additional financial stress would marriage bring?  And do you mean that Fi is a student and doesn't have income?  Would his parents stop supporting him if you get married?  Because if his parents are supporting him right now, and you have income from work, that seems to me like it would work.  Does it bother you on some sort of emotional or moral level that he wouldn't be bringing a salary into the marriage?

Here's how we are doing it: been dating since high school, moved in together after college for two years (both working).  I then went to the best law school I could get into, which happened to be out of state.  I moved in with a roommate near school, and Fi moved back with his parents.  That first year sucked being apart, but Fi visited me all the time.  He paid some of our common bills still (cell phone, car insurance).  And he sent me a small amount of cash each month to help make ends meet.  The rest I covered with student loans and a part-time job.

After first year, I transferred to a much better school near home.  We moved back in together.  He covers his share of the household expenses through his salary.  I cover my share through student loans.  Nothing financially will change when we get married, except paying for the wedding itself.

Like I just said, once I get married I am cut off from my parents.  I have a trust but I don't have access to it until I am 25 and at that point FI will be a resident and making some money.  All finances will be coming from my savings and salary. My parents will no longer be supporting me financially except by ways of school loans so that they do not accrue too much interest.  A lot will change financially for us and that is what I am nervous about.  While his parents will continue to pay for educational expenses, all other living expenses are on me.  The reason I get so nervous about it is because I will have only been working about 1 year before we get married. 

It does not bother me in the slightest that he won't be contributing at all.  He is working extremely hard to finish med school and get a good job so it would just be completely unreasonable for me to expect him to contribute.  There will most likely come a time if we decide to have children that I am not working and the roles are reversed.  It really has nothing to do with "support" it is more of the fact that we will have very little income as compared to expenses.  If the time comes that the roles are reversed, we will have multiple years of both of us working under our belts and income saved.  At this point we do not.  My concern for pushing back the wedding would be that I could work for an additional year or two and then have 2-3 years of salary saved up before we get married vs the 1.  

JCbride2015

amandaj424 said:

JCBride2014 said:

This sounds super stressful.  Law student here-- it's not quite as demanding as med, but damn it is NOT fun.  And we are also looking at 80-hour weeks during firm summer and the early years at a firm.  I am so glad I've had Fi to support me through this.

It also sticks out to me that you are concerned about marriage being stressful.  If you think your marriage is going to be stressful, you really need to do some evaluation about how you feel regarding marrying your Fi in the first place.  Marriage should be something positive.

And you mean stress as financial stress?  That completely confuses me.  Taking out the expense of the wedding itself, what additional financial stress would marriage bring?  And do you mean that Fi is a student and doesn't have income?  Would his parents stop supporting him if you get married?  Because if his parents are supporting him right now, and you have income from work, that seems to me like it would work.  Does it bother you on some sort of emotional or moral level that he wouldn't be bringing a salary into the marriage?

Here's how we are doing it: been dating since high school, moved in together after college for two years (both working).  I then went to the best law school I could get into, which happened to be out of state.  I moved in with a roommate near school, and Fi moved back with his parents.  That first year sucked being apart, but Fi visited me all the time.  He paid some of our common bills still (cell phone, car insurance).  And he sent me a small amount of cash each month to help make ends meet.  The rest I covered with student loans and a part-time job.

After first year, I transferred to a much better school near home.  We moved back in together.  He covers his share of the household expenses through his salary.  I cover my share through student loans.  Nothing financially will change when we get married, except paying for the wedding itself.

Like I just said, once I get married I am cut off from my parents.  I have a trust but I don't have access to it until I am 25 and at that point FI will be a resident and making some money.  All finances will be coming from my savings and salary. My parents will no longer be supporting me financially except by ways of school loans so that they do not accrue too much interest.  A lot will change financially for us and that is what I am nervous about.  While his parents will continue to pay for educational expenses, all other living expenses are on me.  The reason I get so nervous about it is because I will have only been working about 1 year before we get married. 

It does not bother me in the slightest that he won't be contributing at all.  He is working extremely hard to finish med school and get a good job so it would just be completely unreasonable for me to expect him to contribute.  There will most likely come a time if we decide to have children that I am not working and the roles are reversed.  It really has nothing to do with "support" it is more of the fact that we will have very little income as compared to expenses.  If the time comes that the roles are reversed, we will have multiple years of both of us working under our belts and income saved.  At this point we do not.  My concern for pushing back the wedding would be that I could work for an additional year or two and then have 2-3 years of salary saved up before we get married vs the 1.  

I see.  First off-- you are so lucky your parents are supporting you as it is (and yes, you sound grateful, just reiterating).  My parents never had anything to give and I've been out the door and on my own since I was 17.  I guess this is why I don't see anything financially changing once we marry.  Fi and I already have a household set up.

It sounds like if you're dependent on both sets of parents for living expenses right now, and they will cut you off once married, then you are right.  You cannot afford to get married and start your own household.

It's really too bad you can't just live together while he's in med school and then marry after med school.  It makes me sort of sad your parents are kind enough to support you, but his parents (mom, right?) won't let you live together.  But if you need the parental support, then it is what it is.

jenna8984

 

Like I just said, once I get married I am cut off from my parents.  I have a trust but I don't have access to it until I am 25 and at that point FI will be a resident and making some money.  All finances will be coming from my savings and salary. My parents will no longer be supporting me financially except by ways of school loans so that they do not accrue too much interest.  A lot will change financially for us and that is what I am nervous about.  While his parents will continue to pay for educational expenses, all other living expenses are on me.  The reason I get so nervous about it is because I will have only been working about 1 year before we get married. 

It does not bother me in the slightest that he won't be contributing at all.  He is working extremely hard to finish med school and get a good job so it would just be completely unreasonable for me to expect him to contribute.  There will most likely come a time if we decide to have children that I am not working and the roles are reversed.  It really has nothing to do with "support" it is more of the fact that we will have very little income as compared to expenses.  If the time comes that the roles are reversed, we will have multiple years of both of us working under our belts and income saved.  At this point we do not.  My concern for pushing back the wedding would be that I could work for an additional year or two and then have 2-3 years of salary saved up before we get married vs the 1.  

I'm an accountant and self proclaimed financial guru (my father and uncle have imparted their wisdom since I was little), so I always think a solid savings account is a good idea. However, people don't LIVE off savings. You have it there for emergencies. So you land a job, then you base all your living expenses around that job. You get an apartment in an area you can afford, even it means a longer commute. If you have to cut out cable and eat ramen noodles and downgrade your cell phone plan then that's what you do. You live within your means on your salary- and yes I know what it's like to be 22 and just out of college and not in the highest paying job. I was just there 5 years ago and I made it work just like everyone else- I haven't lived at home since I was 18 years old. If the 2 of you need a roommate for beginning that's fine. But you need to plan your living expenses around your income and then cut things out. You don't approach it as "I want this, this, and this which is $3,000 a month and I only make $2,000 a month so I'll need lots of savings". Instead its "I'm going to be making $2,000 a month, where can we live to make that work".

abbyj700

Yeah - all kinds of what Jenna just said. I moved out at 19, my parents helped with college expenses but in no way paid for everything. When I graduated - that was it. In the 7 years I've been out of school I've never once asked for a dime from my parents. I didn't need a doctors salary or a trust fund to get by. Neither do the two of you. You just live within your means, saving for emergencies. 

Is this really about the marriage or your fear to be out on your own with no parental financial safety net to catch you if you fall?

mrsbanany

jenna8984 said:

 

Like I just said, once I get married I am cut off from my parents.  I have a trust but I don't have access to it until I am 25 and at that point FI will be a resident and making some money.  All finances will be coming from my savings and salary. My parents will no longer be supporting me financially except by ways of school loans so that they do not accrue too much interest.  A lot will change financially for us and that is what I am nervous about.  While his parents will continue to pay for educational expenses, all other living expenses are on me.  The reason I get so nervous about it is because I will have only been working about 1 year before we get married. 

It does not bother me in the slightest that he won't be contributing at all.  He is working extremely hard to finish med school and get a good job so it would just be completely unreasonable for me to expect him to contribute.  There will most likely come a time if we decide to have children that I am not working and the roles are reversed.  It really has nothing to do with "support" it is more of the fact that we will have very little income as compared to expenses.  If the time comes that the roles are reversed, we will have multiple years of both of us working under our belts and income saved.  At this point we do not.  My concern for pushing back the wedding would be that I could work for an additional year or two and then have 2-3 years of salary saved up before we get married vs the 1.  

I'm an accountant and self proclaimed financial guru (my father and uncle have imparted their wisdom since I was little), so I always think a solid savings account is a good idea. However, people don't LIVE off savings. You have it there for emergencies. So you land a job, then you base all your living expenses around that job. You get an apartment in an area you can afford, even it means a longer commute. If you have to cut out cable and eat ramen noodles and downgrade your cell phone plan then that's what you do. You live within your means on your salary- and yes I know what it's like to be 22 and just out of college and not in the highest paying job. I was just there 5 years ago and I made it work just like everyone else- I haven't lived at home since I was 18 years old. If the 2 of you need a roommate for beginning that's fine. But you need to plan your living expenses around your income and then cut things out. You don't approach it as "I want this, this, and this which is $3,000 a month and I only make $2,000 a month so I'll need lots of savings". Instead its "I'm going to be making $2,000 a month, where can we live to make that work".

This is exactly what we plan on doing.  The savings is our safety net but, that said it is not nearly as big of a safety net as our parents.  The argument is that, that savings would be larger if we pushed back the wedding because my expenses would be minimal.  With my parents still supporting me before I am married, I would be putting 80% of what I make into savings. It is a point of figuring out if the 2-3 years of saving will be a better idea than the 1 year. Believe me, I'm studying business I know all about risk, return and basic money handling and there is no way I would ever rely on savings.  

In regards to what @abbyj700 said marriage is only the fear because there will be no parental financial safety net.  Since we want to build a safety net of our own, we want it to be is large as possible. 

AprilH81

amandaj424 said:

jenna8984 said:

 

Like I just said, once I get married I am cut off from my parents.  I have a trust but I don't have access to it until I am 25 and at that point FI will be a resident and making some money.  All finances will be coming from my savings and salary. My parents will no longer be supporting me financially except by ways of school loans so that they do not accrue too much interest.  A lot will change financially for us and that is what I am nervous about.  While his parents will continue to pay for educational expenses, all other living expenses are on me.  The reason I get so nervous about it is because I will have only been working about 1 year before we get married. 

It does not bother me in the slightest that he won't be contributing at all.  He is working extremely hard to finish med school and get a good job so it would just be completely unreasonable for me to expect him to contribute.  There will most likely come a time if we decide to have children that I am not working and the roles are reversed.  It really has nothing to do with "support" it is more of the fact that we will have very little income as compared to expenses.  If the time comes that the roles are reversed, we will have multiple years of both of us working under our belts and income saved.  At this point we do not.  My concern for pushing back the wedding would be that I could work for an additional year or two and then have 2-3 years of salary saved up before we get married vs the 1.  

I'm an accountant and self proclaimed financial guru (my father and uncle have imparted their wisdom since I was little), so I always think a solid savings account is a good idea. However, people don't LIVE off savings. You have it there for emergencies. So you land a job, then you base all your living expenses around that job. You get an apartment in an area you can afford, even it means a longer commute. If you have to cut out cable and eat ramen noodles and downgrade your cell phone plan then that's what you do. You live within your means on your salary- and yes I know what it's like to be 22 and just out of college and not in the highest paying job. I was just there 5 years ago and I made it work just like everyone else- I haven't lived at home since I was 18 years old. If the 2 of you need a roommate for beginning that's fine. But you need to plan your living expenses around your income and then cut things out. You don't approach it as "I want this, this, and this which is $3,000 a month and I only make $2,000 a month so I'll need lots of savings". Instead its "I'm going to be making $2,000 a month, where can we live to make that work".

This is exactly what we plan on doing.  The savings is our safety net but, that said it is not nearly as big of a safety net as our parents.  The argument is that, that savings would be larger if we pushed back the wedding because my expenses would be minimal.  With my parents still supporting me before I am married, I would be putting 80% of what I make into savings. It is a point of figuring out if the 2-3 years of saving will be a better idea than the 1 year. Believe me, I'm studying business I know all about risk, return and basic money handling and there is no way I would ever rely on savings.  

In regards to what @abbyj700 said marriage is only the fear because there will be no parental financial safety net.  Since we want to build a safety net of our own, we want it to be is large as possible. 

Normally I'm all for standing on your own two feet, but it sounds like you have two sets of wonderful, caring and supportive parents.  In the case of an emergency would either of them honestly turn their backs on you both if you REALLY needed financial help to see you through an emergency?

If a larger emergency fund is the only real thing that is keeping you from getting married now I would continue to save as much as you can but get married as planned.  This is assuming that you can actually afford to live on something other than Ramen noodles and PB&J sandwiches until FI graduates from med school.

I think it is possible to have both if your parents can still be a safety net in an emergency.  Regardless this should be a decision make by you and your FI not your mom/parents.

phira

I mentioned this in a PM to the OP, but honestly, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, I think one of the best options would be for the OP to actually request no financial support from her own parents after she's had a job for a few months. That would give her time to build up her savings (if they're paying her rent). I just keep getting the feeling that one of the MAJOR problems here is that her parents, for better or for worse, have tied financial assistance to marriage, so that marriage = no more financial help, instead of don't need more financial help = no more financial help. If that makes any sense.

I was in a better place financially only about 8-9 months after graduation than I am now, and I'm paying for half of my wedding. I think that by the time the OP would be getting married, assuming she had become financially independent from her parents a few months after finding a job, she may be in a pretty good place financially, and the shift from unmarried to married might not be as terrifying.

mrsbanany

@AprilH81 of course our parents would not turn their backs.  I mean worse comes to worse my mom has said she would let us  in the guest portion of our house (attached to the house but with its own entrance, bedroom, bathroom and living area). No one wants to say that they are living with their parents but I mean the option is there and clearly a sign that our parents would do all they can to prevent such a thing.  

I totally agree with everything @phira is saying too. Although it does add to my fear of having a smaller safety net but I don't think I am at the point where I can be picky anymore.

My FI and I are leaning more towards the side that the emotional support may be better than the financial stress.  We totally understand our parents concerns though and are still going back and forth on it.  I went to my grandma's (my bff and really she should be my MOH or something) and cried it out/had a margarita party and she is seeing where we are coming from as well.  My FI and I understand that ultimately the decision will be between the two of us but also we rarely get the chance to speak on the phone for more than 20 min max at a time.  So really when I talk about it a lot I talk to my family, they have been my greatest support system through this whole thing.  

MobKaz

RajahBMFD said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Ahhh, I did not know the school year began in July. That makes sense.

Yeah, med school schedules are nuts. This is what mine has looked like:

1st year: August 2010 to May 2011

2nd year: July 2011 to May/June 2012 (I included June because that's when I took Step 1 of boards, which required pretty much full time studying for a month to pass)

3rd year: July 2012 to July 2013

4th year: July 2013 to May 2014

I just want to wish you good luck on the 21st.  My son is in his residency, but his wife matches this month.  In the last 3 days their lives have become all sorts of complicated and stressed.  I applaud your determination and discipline!  Good luck!

phira

@mobkaz Ahhhh I forgot match day was this month! Fingers crossed for your daughter in law!!

Oh god, match day. I can't even.

rajahmd

mobkaz said:

RajahBMFD said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Ahhh, I did not know the school year began in July. That makes sense.

Yeah, med school schedules are nuts. This is what mine has looked like:

1st year: August 2010 to May 2011

2nd year: July 2011 to May/June 2012 (I included June because that's when I took Step 1 of boards, which required pretty much full time studying for a month to pass)

3rd year: July 2012 to July 2013

4th year: July 2013 to May 2014

I just want to wish you good luck on the 21st.  My son is in his residency, but his wife matches this month.  In the last 3 days their lives have become all sorts of complicated and stressed.  I applaud your determination and discipline!  Good luck!

Thanks! Two weeks from tomorrow.

I may or may not be a nervous wreck. All the residents I work with tell me not to worry, but it's so hard not to think about it. Ahh! Crossing my fingers I get one of my top 3, hopefully my number 1.

Best of luck to your DIL! What specialty is she trying to match into?

MobKaz

RajahBMFD said:

mobkaz said:

RajahBMFD said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Ahhh, I did not know the school year began in July. That makes sense.

Yeah, med school schedules are nuts. This is what mine has looked like:

1st year: August 2010 to May 2011

2nd year: July 2011 to May/June 2012 (I included June because that's when I took Step 1 of boards, which required pretty much full time studying for a month to pass)

3rd year: July 2012 to July 2013

4th year: July 2013 to May 2014

I just want to wish you good luck on the 21st.  My son is in his residency, but his wife matches this month.  In the last 3 days their lives have become all sorts of complicated and stressed.  I applaud your determination and discipline!  Good luck!

Thanks! Two weeks from tomorrow.

I may or may not be a nervous wreck. All the residents I work with tell me not to worry, but it's so hard not to think about it. Ahh! Crossing my fingers I get one of my top 3, hopefully my number 1.

Best of luck to your DIL! What specialty is she trying to match into?

She is trying to match into psychiatry.  I think her first choice might be UCLA.  The problem is my son is neurology at Johns Hopkins.  The 21st may open up a whole lotta "restructuring"!

rajahmd

mobkaz said:

RajahBMFD said:

mobkaz said:

RajahBMFD said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Ahhh, I did not know the school year began in July. That makes sense.

Yeah, med school schedules are nuts. This is what mine has looked like:

1st year: August 2010 to May 2011

2nd year: July 2011 to May/June 2012 (I included June because that's when I took Step 1 of boards, which required pretty much full time studying for a month to pass)

3rd year: July 2012 to July 2013

4th year: July 2013 to May 2014

I just want to wish you good luck on the 21st.  My son is in his residency, but his wife matches this month.  In the last 3 days their lives have become all sorts of complicated and stressed.  I applaud your determination and discipline!  Good luck!

Thanks! Two weeks from tomorrow.

I may or may not be a nervous wreck. All the residents I work with tell me not to worry, but it's so hard not to think about it. Ahh! Crossing my fingers I get one of my top 3, hopefully my number 1.

Best of luck to your DIL! What specialty is she trying to match into?

She is trying to match into psychiatry.  I think her first choice might be UCLA.  The problem is my son is neurology at Johns Hopkins.  The 21st may open up a whole lotta "restructuring"!

Oh goodness! That's quite the distance. I'm trying for pathology. Hoping to stay here in Virginia. Eek!