Pre-wedding Parties

Shower Invite but no Wedding Invite

My cousin is getting married and my aunt is throwing him and his fiancé a wedding shower.  I am NOT invited to the wedding, but my aunt invited me to the shower.  I'm sure she didn't mean for it to be bad etiquette, since we all no that no wedding invite means no shower invite, she just wanted me to come because I'm family.  I don't necessarily have a problem going or even getting them a gift, but I don't want to show up and have THEM feel obligated to extend a wedding invitation to me.  I'm not sure what to do.  Do I go?  Do I not go?  Do I just send a gift??

Re: Shower Invite but no Wedding Invite

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you want to go then go.  If you don't want to go then don't.  If you want to get them a gift then do so.  If not, then don't.

    Honestly, it really is up to you and you alone to decide what you want to do in this situation.  There is no right or wrong choice.

    mysticl
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ditto Maggie. Personally, I would not go and would just send a gift b/c I don't find showers all that much fun to attend. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    kss20 said:
    My cousin is getting married and my aunt is throwing him and his fiancé a wedding shower.  I am NOT invited to the wedding, but my aunt invited me to the shower.  I'm sure she didn't mean for it to be bad etiquette, since we all no that no wedding invite means no shower invite, she just wanted me to come because I'm family.  I don't necessarily have a problem going or even getting them a gift, but I don't want to show up and have THEM feel obligated to extend a wedding invitation to me.  I'm not sure what to do.  Do I go?  Do I not go?  Do I just send a gift??
    She wants you to come to the shower because you're family, but not to the wedding?   I'd decline.

    How do you know you're not invited to the wedding though?  Is it private?
    doeydo
  •     I'd decline because I'm not a fan of most showers, not because of etiquette. That's just me though, I'm not advising anyone else do that. 

       I would send a gift, but in my family I would send a gift whether I was invited to the shower/wedding or not. I have a good relationship with all my cousins and would want to wish them well and send them a gift to start their new life even if they were having a small wedding and not inviting extended family. 
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