Invitations are Non-Transferable

evemarie_rodrigues

I am having a destination wedding in Europe where we have rented a house that can accommodate up to 36 guests. We had to be very strict with the limited guest list and there are a lot of disappointed family members on both sides. I had invited my aunt’s (by marriage) mother out of courtesy to a kind lady who has known me my whole life, but she is elderly and cannot attend. Her adult son (who lives with her) is asking if he can take her place. He was not named on the invitation but I am getting a lot of pressure from my aunt that since we have not received enough RSVPs (so far) to fill every single bed in the house, his taking the place of an invited guest is “no big deal”.

Even if there is technically a bed for him, some people are already sharing rooms and having a little space would make things more comfortable for all. I am also not comfortable letting him attend the wedding when his two other brothers (who I know just as well) are not invited. Also, there are other closer relatives that I would prefer to invite if there was room enough. And in the end shouldn't people know that wedding invitations are none-transferable? 

How do I handle this situation? Should I let it go? 

[Deleted User]

If I were in your position I would just tell him that if I allowed you to take the place of your mother, and I  would feel odd that your brothers weren't invited to the wedding & you came. Unfortunately space won't allow me to invite your brothers too.

Hopefully they'll understand and drop the issue.

Inkdancer

I would let your aunt know that while you were happy to invite her mother, you simply do not have space to invite anyone who was not on the original guest list. Remind her that it will be a tight fit for everyone in the house, and you'd hate for him to have to share a room or a bed with someone he isn't comfortable with. Let him know the same thing and stand your ground.

My parents were very generous at their wedding, and let several of us stay in their beach house just before and after the wedding. My fiance and I got up early the next day and left. Apparently two of their other houseguests took the opportunity to stroll on the beach that morning, have a leisurely breakfast on the porch, and didn't leave until late the next evening--thus intruding on my parents' honeymoon. Please don't let that happen to you. Put your foot down about who is invited and how long they are welcome to stay.

huskypuppy14

You say, I'm sorry the invitation was for Aunt Sally's mother.  We cannot accommodate Aunt Sally's brother. It's easier said than done, but it was rude of him to ask to take her place, especially because it seems you are not close to him at all, but you are to the mother.

phira

You're right: invitations are not transferrable. You invited your aunt's mother because you wanted to invite your aunt's mother, not her brother.

Politely say, "I'm sorry, but we invited [mother]. I'm sad that she can't make it, but the invitation isn't transferrable. Thanks for understanding."

Jen4948

phira said:

You're right: invitations are not transferrable. You invited your aunt's mother because you wanted to invite your aunt's mother, not her brother.

Politely say, "I'm sorry, but we invited [mother]. I'm sad that she can't make it, but the invitation isn't transferrable. Thanks for understanding."

This.  Say something along the lines of "The invitation was for Aunt Joan.  I'm sorry she can't make it, but her invitation is not transferable to anyone else.  We cannot accommodate anyone who wasn't on the original guest list."