Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Avoiding "giving away"

What's something our officiant could say in place of the "who gives this woman..."?  I'd still like to have my parents rise and say "we do" or my dad say "her mother & I do" but avoid the notion of being given.

Re: Avoiding "giving away"

  • Why do you want them to say it if you don't want them to do it?
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  • I want some acknowledgement that they are my parents, they are in support of the marriage, and they are choosing to participate in our marriage ceremony without the connotations of property exchange.
  • You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]

  • @Maggie0829 Thank you, I love that!
  • A friend of mine just got married a couple of weeks ago, and her officiant said something like "who supports X in this marriage?" and her father answered "her father and mother do"
  • Maybe substitute the word "presents" for "gives" ?
  • We did a parent's blessing

    Parents Blessing

    “As our sons and daughters find partners and find homes for the next generation, each family is enriched and enlarged. Would the parents of the bride and groom please come forward?

    This occasion is a special celebration for you, the parents who have brought these children into the world, and nurtured them into adulthood. Today you are witnessing another stage in the lives of your son and daughter. Your continuing support and encouragement will be needed as Bubblegum and MrBubblegum unite in marriage. Will you who have loved and nurtured these two, try with the greatest love and wisdom you have, to support this new couple and help in every way?”



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  • 00kim00 said:
    A friend of mine just got married a couple of weeks ago, and her officiant said something like "who supports X in this marriage?" and her father answered "her father and mother do"

    We are doing this.  We plan to have officiant say "Who supports this marriage?", then have all 4 parents, mine and FI's, stand up and say "We do".

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  • @bubblegum1309 my daughter and sil used a similar blessing at their wedding ceremony. Both sets of parents were included in the blessing. It was lovely.
                       
  • You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]
    This isn't the exact wording we had, but it was along those same lines. Our reverend asked each set of parents if they offer support and best wishes for their child as we enter our new life as husband and wife.

    I liked that it acknowledged the significance of our families/parents in our lives while still keeping with the idea of the relationship being our own independent decision. 
  • You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]
    LOVE THIS!!!!
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