Wedding Etiquette Forum

Mrs. or Ms. When Married Woman Keeps Maiden Name?


Re: Mrs. or Ms. When Married Woman Keeps Maiden Name?

  • CMGragain said:
    Thanks for all of the great info!

    My address labels for the STDs are a bit small, so for space reasons I'm going with

    The traditional Mr. & Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName for married couples

    and Mr. HisFirstName HisLastName & Ms. HerFirstName HerLastName for married couples where the woman kept her maiden name.

    For my actual invitations I'm going to print directly on the inner envelopes, but for the outer envelopes since the post office doesn't appreciate calligraphy fonts that are tricky to read,  I'm probably just going to use a boring, legible font and labels again.
    Noooooo!!!  Please don't use nasty, tacky labels on your beautiful wedding invitations.
    On the outer envelope that gets opened and thrown out?  You bet I will use labels.

    My shitty hand writing will look far worse and ensure that nothing gets delivered.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."

  • edited March 2014
    Schatzi13 said:
    Thanks, ATB and CMGr for the information on divorced women who kept their married names. I had not heard the history with Mrs. Maiden Married. Everything I've seen has said Mrs. First Married as the proper social address (and everyone I know uses Ms. First Whicheverlast). How interesting!

    PGL, can you print directly on the outer envelopes, too? Some people don't like that, either, but it's seen around here as a victimless crime and preferable to labels.
    I could but it's not worth the extra work to me feeding in each envelope one by one when I'm not using a fancy font on the outer envelope.  The font has to be legible or the post office will bitch and won't be able to deliver them.

    I want to use inner envelopes with a pretty, calligraphy font and will print directly on those.

    ETA:  I was thinking about it, and if anyone has a pretty but easily legible calligraphy font recommendation, one that you have successfully used on your invites, I would try to print directly on the outer envelopes.

    I have a ton of calligraphy fonts, but I think they are too fancy and fiddly and I fear that all my invitations will bounce back to me ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."

  • Schatzi13 said:
    I think there are a couple of threads over on the DIY board about fonts. They might require searching, and that would require that the search be working, so who knows.

    I popped over to and saw one at the top of their calligraphy page that looks like it might work (though it's maybe more script with a bit of flair): They have a lot of fonts there that are free for personal use. is another site along those lines. Anyway, maybe something will catch your eye.

    (Edited to make links visible because they disappear into the text for some reason)
    I love Dafont and 1001fonts, and most of my calligraphy fonts are from those sites.  I was just curious if someone had one that they used on their envelopes successfully. . . in that they didn't get returned by the post office.

    I have test printed a bunch and I'm just not sure.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."

  • To add to the confusion, here in the south older married ladies go by "Miss Firstname." This has never made sense to me.

    Also, the first time I get mail addressed to "Mr & Mrs Hisfirst Hislast" I am going to scream. Ugh.
  • RajahBMFD said:
    Sally Smith married John Doe and takes his name = Mrs. John Doe
    (She does not use Mrs. SALLY Doe, because that's for divorced women.)

    Later, they divorce and she considers keeping DOE and not go back to SMITH = Mrs. Sally Doe
    (She still uses MRS because she got the last name DOE when she got MARRIED)

    Finally, she decides to go back to SMITH = Ms. Sally Smith
    (She uses MS because SMITH was her own birth name)
    Nope. Nope. Nope. A woman being married does not mean she loses her first name. To say that all married womem can't use their own first name is ridiculous. And Mrs is only used for married women, regardless of whether or not they have divorced but kept the name. Mrs literally means married, that's the whole point of it (and why alot of women prefer Ms). Why would a divorced woman keep using Mrs? That makes no sense.
    It might not make sense, but it is a proper option for the purposes of addressing a wedding invitation.  Your options for a divorced woman who has kept her married name are:

    Mrs. HerFirst HisLast
    Ms. HerFirst HisLast

    If she uses Mrs., then the invite should be to Mrs.

    For the purposes of addressing a wedding invitation, a married couple with the same last name should be addressed as follows:  Mr. & Mrs. HisFirst HisLast

    I mean, it's all very archaic, but the question was what is correct, and this is correct.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @RajahBMFD    Ms. does not mean divorced.  Ms. does not mean married.  Ms. does not mean single.  Ms. does not mean over the age of 16.  Ms. mean FEMALE!  That is all it means!
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