WTH are RSVP's for!!!

LAM524

Minor vent! When we first sent out invites, the first week and half we got daily returns! 24 in total! Since, the last 3 weeks, nothing! BUT what we are getting is "RSVP" phone calls!!! They go something like this, " Hey, just wanted to let you know we are coming to wedding!" Me: "Great! Can you send your rsvp?" Guest: "Why?" Me: "So I know what your entree selections are!" Guest: "Can't I just tell you?"

Grrrr!! How hard can it be to drop an already addressed and stamped envelope in the mail??

Northrend

LAM2228 said:

Grrrr!! How hard can it be to drop an already addressed and stamped envelope in the mail??

How hard can it be to just write down who is coming and what they want to eat when they call you?

lyndausvi

At least the called.  Much better than having to call and track them down.

But I get why it's annoying.

LAM524

@Northrend..its not hard at all, I'm just anal! Could have saved some $$ tooo! HA! Actually, my venue decided that I have to let them know who is having what entree and having the rsvp's would be a easy reference instead of having some rsvvp cards and some on a notebook! Again, Im just anal! @ Lindausvi is so right! Atleast they are calling!

MobKaz

RSVP's tend to come in waves.  Fast and furious initially, followed by a trickle, and end with a flurry the last week.  Many people translate RSVP due date to mean, "mail them back on this day."  Wait a few days after your RSVP due date before you start tracking down your MIA's.

Some of your MIA's may surprise you.  DD's best man never responded.  He figured they automatically realized/knew he would be there.  

I understand your frustration at not only the idiocy of not mailing back the card, but the waste of the postage as well.  

@Northrend, it would have actually been simpler for the guest to mark an "X" and lick an envelope then make a phone call.  How hard is it to do that?  The other issue is that those cards are often used by the bride as a way to "check and balance" her numbers for the reception venue.  Although we had a spread sheet for entering information, we relied on the returned cards to cross check all our numbers. 

Northrend

Maybe it would be easier to mark an x and mail the envelope, but maybe this guest wanted to speak with the bride personally.  And then to be told "Oh, I don't have the time/organization skills to deal with your telephone RSVP, just mail the card like you're told" could feel hurtful.  I would feel like I was just another number and not really a guest that the bride cares about.

LAM524

@mobkaz..so true! I like the "check and balance" system! I get calls at home, in the car, while Im working..even texts. The worst is while Im driving!! I have scrap pieces of notes that Ive thrown in the box my invites came in...Who is coming, what they want to eat and what they would rather NOT have on their plate!

MobKaz

Northrend said:

Maybe it would be easier to mark an x and mail the envelope, but maybe this guest wanted to speak with the bride personally.  And then to be told "Oh, I don't have the time/organization skills to deal with your telephone RSVP, just mail the card like you're told" could feel hurtful.  I would feel like I was just another number and not really a guest that the bride cares about.

I hardly think anyone would say those actual words to a guest.  I have made personal calls to a bride to be, and yes, the RSVP card often reminds me that I want to personally reach out.  You know how my phone call typically starts?  "Hi Bride.  I just sent my RSVP in to you, but wanted to call and personally let you know how excited I am to attend the wedding."  

If I am invited to a wedding, it is typically because I know the couple cares about me.  I, in turn, also care about the couple.  I also know how difficult it is to orchestrate a wedding, so I am careful to be respectful about that and do what I can to make her process as easy as possible.  The no brainer way to show I care and be considerate of her time and energy is to simply return the RSVP card.

netskyblue2

My FFIL hasn't mailed his RSVP card yet. I put please mail reply by March 30. I think he just wants to keep it though, lol, it's his only child's first (and only!) wedding.

singinchick13

Lol OP I absolutely agree. I would get so frustrated taking calls anywhere and everywhere and having to keep track of people's entrees while I'm in the car or out with DS. Definitely one of those situations where you may need an extra set of hands. I'm all for a spontaneous call to say hi and catch up, but for specifics that need to be recorded something in writing is definitely the way to go to make sure nobody gets lost in the shuffle.

KittyKaty20

I enjoy getting the RSVPs by mail, although it's mostly because I have a song request line at the bottom and it's fun to see what/if my guests selected. And most of the declines have hand-written notes of well-wishes. That being said, I'm treating any verbal/texted/FB messages of "yes" as just fine; I just ask what entrée they'd like.

HisGirlFriday13

At least they're RSVPing.

I kept track of all my guests' RSVPs in a spreadsheet in addition to having their RSVP cards; surely you can create a spreadsheet and add appropriate columns?

LAM524

@HisGirlFriday13...spreadsheets are great..havent done one though. I am actually using the knots invitations/rsvp tool. I love it! I even added extra notes so when I know who is staying at what hotel, I mark hotel then mark "welcome bag" for which hotel. I also added a special request line and allergy line. It works great! I really love the tool for the seating chart too! Adding a spreadsheet would just give me another thing to do and with many DIY projects, I don't think there's one more thing I could bare! Im anal...but I try to be a simple anal! An organized, simple anal!

cruffino

Excel is your friend. It was my only wedding planning "tool".

ETA: I would be annoyed by the phone calls too. First because I'm anal, second because I'm frequently not in a position to take notes.

STARMOON44

LAM2228 said:

I get calls at home, in the car, while Im working..even texts. The worst is while Im driving!! I have scrap pieces of notes that Ive thrown in the box my invites came in...Who is coming, what they want to eat and what they would rather NOT have on their plate!

Why are you answering calls while you're driving ?

Sugargirl1019

STARMOON44 said:

LAM2228 said:

I get calls at home, in the car, while Im working..even texts. The worst is while Im driving!! I have scrap pieces of notes that Ive thrown in the box my invites came in...Who is coming, what they want to eat and what they would rather NOT have on their plate!

Why are you answering calls while you're driving ?

She could have Bluetooth capability in her car.

LAM524

HA! I usually dont! But my 16 year old's phone broke and he uses his friends phones to call me. I won't buy him a new one (tough love) because he "insisted" on removing his protective case from his iphone (because its too thick in his pocket) and while he was skate boarding, low and behold, it worked its way out of pocket and shattered!!!!

At first, he text me but I wont look at my phone while driving. (I answer it thru my radio/dvd set up thingy on dash).

LAM524

Yes....I do have blue tooth.

LAM524

I received an RSVP today...hand delivered! Best one yet! Our guest wrote a beautiful note on the back...was lovely. Funny thing...I didnt realize until I got home and came on here to log their entree choice...another line was added where she wrote an entree that wasnt a choice! hahahahaha!

huskypuppy14

Just be careful with the knot tool. I've heard it's glitchy, and you wouldn't want to lose all your data. I also love excel, and that's what I've been using for everything.

SP29

We used an excel spreadsheet, that we logged guests in once we received the RSVPs back.

I'm with mobkaz. Use the RSVP card!

kee7

I had 68 people not RSVP at all.  It is annoying to spend money on postage and the stationery and people can't send it back.  But by the end, I didn't care if they called, emailed, sent a message on Facebook, sent a telegram, used smoke signals...  Just let me know somehow!

Pellegcm

Being over a year out from my wedding I don't have to deal with this yet - BUT, I would suggest (and am already love) using Google Drive as an option. You can access your data from any computer/tablet/smart phone and update it, and it works like Excel. 

Though I can understand and appreciate being in a situation where you weren't able to take notes! 

lyndausvi

I love Google Drive.  We had all our wedding stuff on Google Drive.  It was a great way for everyone to access if they needed.   

RSVP's went to my parent's.  Mom updated them when she got the mail.  Then I accessed it from the islands.  My sister printed out the table cards (lived in PA).  She was able to download the seating chart I made up from the islands (wedding was in NJ, easier to have sis print them then me having to carry them up from the islands).   There were other check lists we put on the drive also.

We are in the middle of planning a surprise party for my dad right now.  We all live in different states.  Google drive as been a god-send in planning the party.

LAM524

Im going to have to check it out. Never heard of google drive.

HisGirlFriday13

I freaking LOVE Google drive. Everything I did was in Google drive. I had an Excel workbook that had one sheet for costs, one sheet for names/addresses/RSVPs, one sheet for each shower (I was given two), one sheet for the seating chart, etc.

I could mark everything -- who had RSVP'ed, what their guests' names were, if they'd sent a gift, if I'd sent a thank-you, what they'd sent.

Since it was in Google drive, Mom and DH could both access it, and could see/change things if need be. Mom and I did the seating chart that way, too. It was awesome.

Also, because it's Google, there's an app for it (although I now have an Android phone, and the app works better on the Android than on the iPhone), so you can even do it from your smartphone.

mcgarci2

These are great ideas.  I'm also an avid Excel user.  I will be sending my invites at the end of April and plan on tracking RSVPs through my address spreadsheet.

raeah219

lol. I would totally be one of those guests you hate. Just write their names down and chill out. It's better than people just showing up. 

classyduck

I haven't read this thread thru, but I have to say.... why are you complaining? They are informing you of their attendance intentions. Please don't be so picky about how they choose to do so. Your inclusion of an addressed and stamped card was a courtesy, not obligatory paperwork, right? Be gracious, and accept their correspondence however they choose to give it.

sarahufl

Google Drive is amazing. All of our wedding stuff is housed there. It makes things SO MUCH easier.

My sister got married 5 years ago and all her stuff is still on Drive as well. I have been able to access it for a bunch of random stuff (how much they paid for things, checklists, even her guest list).

tesgirl123

I used Excel to track the RSVPs and their entree choices.   The problem is that even with the cards there were a few mistakes that had to be corrected when I triple checked the list.   Having the RSVP cards to fall back on makes it easier to confirm the information is correct.    If someone only called me to RSVP it would have made things a nightmare to keep track.

While I agree that some people wanting to call you is nice, but I was completely frazzled when the RSVPs were coming in and if I only got a phone call I would have been really lost.    

What's worse, asking someone to RSVP using the provided card or having to call them back because you forgot what entree they wanted?