Invites and Paper

How to word invite of deceased and divorced parents

The bride's parents are: Mother: Peggy Maguire (deceased) her husband Bob Maguire, Father: James Berg and his wife Cindy Berg.
The invite should say something like Together with Mr. & Mrs. Leonard Nicol and BRIDE'S INFORMATION. How would I word that? No one from the bride's side will be contributing to the cost of the wedding, so I feel bad EITHER putting only his parents OR putting my family on there. Suggestions?? Thanks! 

Re: How to word invite of deceased and divorced parents

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited April 2014
    Who is hosting this wedding? Paying does not equal hosting. It seems maybe  "Together with their families, Bride and Groom request the....." might be the best for this situation.

    or 

    Mr Robert Maguire
    Mr and Mrs. James Berg
    request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of.....

    People who have passed are never hosts on invitations. 

    ETA: Together with their families is probably the best option since you have 3 sets of parents. (I completely missed the grooms parents in my options above.)
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    princessleia22
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 2014
    Mlberg124 said:
    The bride's parents are: Mother: Peggy Maguire (deceased) her husband Bob Maguire, Father: James Berg and his wife Cindy Berg.
    The invite should say something like Together with Mr. & Mrs. Leonard Nicol and BRIDE'S INFORMATION. How would I word that? No one from the bride's side will be contributing to the cost of the wedding, so I feel bad EITHER putting only his parents OR putting my family on there. Suggestions?? Thanks! 
    Well, first, the invitation is not the place to "honor" anyone or map out the family tree.  The people "honored" by an invitation are the guests, not the hosts.

    Second, it is also not a playbill that lists all financial contributors.  Who is paying is not necessarily the host, nor is it any of the guests' business who is paying for what.

    The "hosts" of a wedding are the persons who are acting as "point persons" that is, actually issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests at the wedding, and making sure their needs are attended to.  The persons doing that, regardless of how much they are or aren't paying, are the hosts and should be listed as such.  If one or more parents are not doing that, they are not the hosts and are not listed, and it is for this reason that deceased parents are not listed on invitations.  (They can be honored in programs, where they can be given tributes.)  Living parents who are not doing these things should also not be listed as hosts.

    You can use either the names of those persons who are hosts, or you can use "together with their families" in your wording.  If the groom's parents are actually the ones hosting, the invitation would read

    Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents
    request the honour of your presence (for a wedding at a house of worship)/
    request the pleasure of your company (all other weddings)
    at the marriage of
    Bride
    to their son
    Groom
    etc.

    The bride's parents are listed first only if they are hosting.
  • Are his parents hosting?  It doesn't sound like it.  Is it a church wedding?  We really don't have enough information.
    If you are hosting your own wedding, it is this:  (non-church)

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    Here is a non-traditional alternative:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request them pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    Day, date (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • Mlberg124 said:
    The bride's parents are: Mother: Peggy Maguire (deceased) her husband Bob Maguire, Father: James Berg and his wife Cindy Berg.
    The invite should say something like Together with Mr. & Mrs. Leonard Nicol and BRIDE'S INFORMATION. How would I word that? No one from the bride's side will be contributing to the cost of the wedding, so I feel bad EITHER putting only his parents OR putting my family on there. Suggestions?? Thanks! 
    Paying =/= hosting. Hosting means accepting RSVPs, greeting guests and seeing to their comfort, etc.

    Dead people don't host weddings. Or any other event, for that matter.

    Your options are:
    Together with their families,
    BrideFirst Middle Surname
    and 
    GroomFirst Middle Surname

    request the pleasure of your company/honour of your presence
    at their marriage
    time/date/place.

    If the groom's parents are hosting, it could read:

    Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Nicol
    request the honour of your presence/pleasure of your company 
    at the marriage of their son,
    GroomFirst Middle
    to
    BrideFirst Middle Surname
    daughter of Mr. and Mrs. BrideFather Surname
    and the late Mrs. BrideMother Surname

    Some posters will tell you you don't list dead parents on the invites. I disagree. Dead people don't host weddings, but they're still parents of people, and if you're going to map out the family genealogy, you might as well do it properly. 

    Given everything you've spelt out in your OP, I'd go with 'together with their families' and leave all parents' names off the invites. You can always list your parents and his parents and whomever else you want in the programme.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    Some posters will tell you you don't list dead parents on the invites. I disagree. Dead people don't host weddings, but they're still parents of people, and if you're going to map out the family genealogy, you might as well do it properly. 

    That's just it-wedding invitations are sent to request the presence of the guest-not to map out the family genealogy.
    doeydo
  • I think "Together with their families" is the least objectionable alternative. I come from a family with divorced parents and FI's father passed years ago, so this will be our go-to. Since it seems you are hosting your own wedding you can eliminate the families altogether if you wish, but that's completely up to you.
  • We went with "Together with their families."  My parents are divorced, with my dad being remarried.  FI is not close with either of his parents, being raised primarily by his grandmother.  The RSVP's will be arriving at FI's and my home, but we wanted to include our families on the invite. 
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