How to address photographer's request with guests?

happywiggle

Hi Ladies,

It's been a while since I've started a thread, and I have a question for you all  While the wedding is still over a year out, FI and I were talking about our photographer's request and how to address it. I want to be etiquette-correct on how I go about it. 

The photographer has requested that there be no "paparazzi" photos going on during the ceremony. Basically, she would like that people not step out into the aisle or in her way for photos during the 10-15 minute ceremony. I have no issues with them taking pictures like that (I mean, am I really going to notice this during the ceremony? Nope, don't care), but it is the only request she has made regarding taking photos. 

So, question time. How do I address this with guests? I would like to trust that the ~70 people there would know not to do this. I'm thinking the only reason she specifically put this in the contract was because it has happened to her in the past. Do I do what I think I should and trust my guests? Do I consider an "unplugged" ceremony? Do I spread it via word of mouth or on the wedding website (no way I am putting that in the invitations)? 

If it matters, we're aiming for no more than a 20 minute ceremony, and we're not having a photographer for the reception. I don't think any of this last statement matters, but I'll just throw it out there.

Thanks

missnc77

You don't want to confuse people and not have anyone taking pictures during your reception. If you trust your guests, just don't say anything. Tell her you are letting people know. If someone steps in the aisle while you're saying your vows, what is she going to do? Interrupt and ask them to step away? Throw her camera down and leave? What does the contract say she'll do if it happens? Even if you did tell everyone, that still doesn't stop someone from making a mistake. I can see her mentioning it to you, it putting it in contract seems a bit overkill.

missnc77

I don't mean to post two comments, but this is one of the most puzzling things I've read on here. I mean, they are your pictures you are paying for. The only people who stand to lose something by this happening is you (pictures with someone in the way), not her. Why the heck does she have that in a contract?

happywiggle

missnc77 said:

You don't want to confuse people and not have anyone taking pictures during your reception. If you trust your guests, just don't say anything. Tell her you are letting people know. If someone steps in the aisle while you're saying your vows, what is she going to do? Interrupt and ask them to step away? Throw her camera down and leave? What does the contract say she'll do if it happens? Even if you did tell everyone, that still doesn't stop someone from making a mistake. I can see her mentioning it to you, it putting it in contract seems a bit overkill.

I have no idea why it is explicitly stated. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. She doesn't say she'll do anything about it; it just says to not have that happen. I can only guess that it's happened too many times in the past and has ruined photos or something.

happywiggle

missnc77 said:

I don't mean to post two comments, but this is one of the most puzzling things I've read on here. I mean, they are your pictures you are paying for. The only people who stand to lose something by this happening is you (pictures with someone in the way), not her. Why the heck does she have that in a contract?

No idea, but I have seen some really good photos (on pinterest...) of someone taking a photo of the couple from the aisle and being caught by the photographer's photo. I think it actually shows that people want to capture the moment. To be honest, I'm not a fan of photos to begin with, but if people want to take photos, by all means.

Like I said, I just didn't know how to handle it, and everyone here gives good advice. I much prefer the trust your guests approach over saying anything to them

OliveOilsMom

Could you lay a ribbon or decorative rope across the insides of the aisle?  That would completely prevent anyone from walking into the aisle because they would have to move the rope/ribbon.  When people are seated, they just need to be seated in rows from the outside of the rows, not by the center aisle.

erollis

OliveOilsMom said:

Could you lay a ribbon or decorative rope across the insides of the aisle?  That would completely prevent anyone from walking into the aisle because they would have to move the rope/ribbon.  When people are seated, they just need to be seated in rows from the outside of the rows, not by the center aisle.

This.

String ribbon, garlend, origami, keys, whatever from chair to chair on the aisle side. This helps deter people from stepping out. They could still lean over but they are going to do what they're going to do.

I understand your photographers request but you can't stop your guests form doing what they want. Maybe the photog has been shoved out of the way before, run into, stepped on, or had the camera blocked by people trying to get into the aisle to take photos.

s-aries8990

Aisle ribbon FTW!

happywiggle

erollis said:

Could you lay a ribbon or decorative rope across the insides of the aisle?  That would completely prevent anyone from walking into the aisle because they would have to move the rope/ribbon.  When people are seated, they just need to be seated in rows from the outside of the rows, not by the center aisle.

This. String ribbon, garlend, origami, keys, whatever from chair to chair on the aisle side. This helps deter people from stepping out. They could still lean over but they are going to do what they're going to do. I understand your photographers request but you can't stop your guests form doing what they want. Maybe the photog has been shoved out of the way before, run into, stepped on, or had the camera blocked by people trying to get into the aisle to take photos.

The ribbon idea sounds excellent. I hadn't even thought about that.

Thanks, Ladies  

GlitterWitch22 said:

I like the ribbon idea.  And it makes sense to me for the photographer to request this.  

You have to be careful, etiquette-wise, but you're paying a lot of money for these pictures.  If the photog isn't able to get a pic of The Kiss bc someone jumps out in front of them and is taking pictures with their iPhone... that would really suck.  I think people have gotten too used to having their phones 24/7 and for an iPhone's every feature to be "the exception".  I think the ribbon is the best bet, though, anything else may be seen as rude.  

Maybe you could have TSA come out and screen everyone with metal detectors as they enter?  NO CELL PHONES

You're exactly right on having to be careful. I wanted to be etiquette sound so I figured I'd ask here haha to the TSA comment.

ashleyep

You could ask the officiant to make a comment to keep the aisle clear during the ceremony and procession for the photographer?

KatWAG

I think a professional photographer should be able to work around someone if they step into the aisle.

Mandafly84

KatWAG said:

I think a professional photographer should be able to work around someone if they step into the aisle.

I disagree.  They don't have superpowers - if someone jumps into the aisle at the exact second when the couple kisses and blocks the pro's shot, there's nothing they can do to compensate for that, and it's not their fault.

Jen4948

ashleyep said:

You could ask the officiant to make a comment to keep the aisle clear during the ceremony and procession for the photographer?

I like this.  Also put an announcement in your program if you will have one.  It may not keep determined guests out of the aisle, but you'll have made the request and hopefully your photographer will understand and accept that.

ashleyep

Jen4948 said:

ashleyep said:

You could ask the officiant to make a comment to keep the aisle clear during the ceremony and procession for the photographer?

I like this.  Also put an announcement in your program if you will have one.  It may not keep determined guests out of the aisle, but you'll have made the request and hopefully your photographer will understand and accept that.

Agreed. Just get straight to the point, don't try to phrase it in some annoying, "cutesy" way.

phira

I'm stealing the aisle ribbon idea.

happywiggle

phira said:

I'm stealing the aisle ribbon idea.

Me too! It adds to the decorations/ambiance as well (or, I think so) 

Thank you to all who answered my question

cbabybear

I think the ribbon/aisle idea is good, or putting a note in the program. I probably wouldn't have my officiant say anything, it'd be a weird way to start the ceremony...

I think the reason she put it in the contract is that it covers her liability for not getting 'that photo' if one of the guests does step in the way. While photographers move around a lot during the ceremony getting lots of shots most of which won't be visually ruined by a semi out of place guest, the down the aisle shots are pretty dramatic due to the clean lines pointing to you guys in the middle but (generally) completely ruined if Aunt Sally is hanging out in the middle of the aisle.

PrettyGirlLost

KatWAG said:

I think a professional photographer should be able to work around someone if they step into the aisle.

This.

Plus, in the 30some weddings I have attended I have NEVER seen anyone step into the aisle to take a photo.

missnc77

@amrhodes23 - I wasn't snarking you. Just your photographer's contract.

I understand her wanting to have the aisle clear. My puzzling comment had to do with writing it in the actual contract. You're signing your name to make sure people don't get in the aisle, so what if they do? It means you're violating the contract, so what happens? It's one thing to say, "Not responsible for guests stepping in the aisle while trying to take pictures," and another to have you sign a contract to keep people out of the aisles.

The ribbon idea is great!

 

RebeccaFlower

PrettyGirlLost said:

KatWAG said:

I think a professional photographer should be able to work around someone if they step into the aisle.

This.

Plus, in the 30some weddings I have attended I have NEVER seen anyone step into the aisle to take a photo.

I have. At a 100k wedding that had three shooters, it was unbelievable. 

I'm not going to lie, I was pissed about this on my wedding day. After the ceremony, everyone (and literally their freaking mothers) were trying to take our pictures in front/beside our professional photog. I finally told everyone to look at the professional and I would make sure to send them the link. At our reception, my favorite first dance picture has H's crazy aunt in the background and there was only so much our photog could do to get her flash bubble out. 

happywiggle

missnc77 said:

@amrhodes23 - I wasn't snarking you. Just your photographer's contract.

I understand her wanting to have the aisle clear. My puzzling comment had to do with writing it in the actual contract. You're signing your name to make sure people don't get in the aisle, so what if they do? It means you're violating the contract, so what happens? It's one thing to say, "Not responsible for guests stepping in the aisle while trying to take pictures," and another to have you sign a contract to keep people out of the aisles.

The ribbon idea is great!

 

I knew what you meant. I didn't think you were snarking me (Or, if you were, I didn't notice haha)

JellyBean52513

missnc77 said:

@amrhodes23 - I wasn't snarking you. Just your photographer's contract.

I understand her wanting to have the aisle clear. My puzzling comment had to do with writing it in the actual contract. You're signing your name to make sure people don't get in the aisle, so what if they do? It means you're violating the contract, so what happens? It's one thing to say, "Not responsible for guests stepping in the aisle while trying to take pictures," and another to have you sign a contract to keep people out of the aisles.

The ribbon idea is great!

 

I agree with you about the explicit contract clause. The photographer is essentially requiring YOU to control the actions of other people via contractual agreement. That's a really far-reaching request to make of a bride and groom who will be at the alter in the middle of their vows when a guest decides to take it upon themselves to step into the aisle.

I like the idea of using aisle ribbons and a simple line in your program to please keep the aisle clear during the ceremony for the photographer.

mbross3

I totally understand the photog's request. At BF's niece's wedding in June, not only were people walking all the way up the aisle to stand 2 feet from the couple to take pics, but one person actually walked up behind the officiant to get a pic from that view and almost knocked her over! I was shocked and had never seen anything like it. They did have a photographer hired! I can only imagine how annoying it would be to try to take pictures around all the guests.

I like the ribbon idea. I also like being specific with guests about not blocking the photographer, rather than just asking them to stay out of the aisle or something (that way they know you're not just keeping the aisle clear for the procession or something). 

tammym1001

missnc77 said:

@amrhodes23 - I wasn't snarking you. Just your photographer's contract.

I understand her wanting to have the aisle clear. My puzzling comment had to do with writing it in the actual contract. You're signing your name to make sure people don't get in the aisle, so what if they do? It means you're violating the contract, so what happens? It's one thing to say, "Not responsible for guests stepping in the aisle while trying to take pictures," and another to have you sign a contract to keep people out of the aisles.

The ribbon idea is great!

 

I'm just guessing because I'm not a photographer, but I would assume she has it in her contract so that way if pictures are ruined by people jumping up to take their own pictures (which I've seen happen multiple times and don't get me started on the MOG who brought her own personal photographer) then she can go back to her contract and say that she asked the bride and groom to address that with their guests. I can imagine that she has probably had couples who want their money back or want to sue because they don't have professional photos of their first kiss or ring exchange or whatever and it's because the pictures were ruined by guests in the way or using flashes on their cameras. 

dodger911

How about getting a kid to do your dirty work

happywiggle

dodger911 said:

How about getting a kid to do your dirty work

Alas, we're not having kids in the bridal party... jk jk

phira

I have a couple of uncles who TOTALLY take photos at everything (one of them surreptitiously took video of my Bat Mitzvah service--not allowed in the synagogue!). We also have lots of friends and family members who would take photos from behind the photographer during formals. It's pretty likely that someone would maybe try to step into the aisle, so the ribbon idea might work very well. Since it can be played off as decoration, it's a little less overt crowd control.

We're also going to let our (awesome) photographer know that she can be pretty blunt with people if they try to take photos during formals. There's nothing I hate more than people in a photo looking in 4 different directions.

abbyj700

We're having an unplugged ceremony just for all the crazy reasons people have listed above. Our photographer did not request it - but he's family and wouldn't - but he and I often take photos of each other taking photos just to be funny about moments like this. He saw it on our wedding website and thanked me that we trust him to get the pictures we need at the ceremony - and the convenience of not having to duck around family members jumping out into the aisle for pics.

We put information on our website and there will be something before the ceremony letting people know.

KittyKaty20

dodger911 said:

How about getting a kid to do your dirty work

I was totally thinking this...I envision little kid bouncers around the photog...body-checking cell-phone users.

JellyBean52513

abbyj700 said:

We're having an unplugged ceremony just for all the crazy reasons people have listed above. Our photographer did not request it - but he's family and wouldn't - but he and I often take photos of each other taking photos just to be funny about moments like this. He saw it on our wedding website and thanked me that we trust him to get the pictures we need at the ceremony - and the convenience of not having to duck around family members jumping out into the aisle for pics.

We put information on our website and there will be something before the ceremony letting people know.

Good luck with that. It's hard enough to get people to stop breaking the law re: texting and driving. If they want to use their phones during your wedding, they will.

Although this has much more practical implications than, say, telling guests what to wear, I'm in the camp that holds telling people what to do and how to behave is rude. There's really no way to enforce this rule unless you collect everyone's phones upon entry (in which case, I'd turn around and go home), so why even bother trying to implement it?

Sugargirl1019

I have seen a few couples place cute fancy chalkboard signs before the chairs that say "please allow the photographer to capture the moment" so guests can see it as they walk to their seats.