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Not Intending on Doing First Dance?

DidgeridooDidgeridoo member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Reception Forum

My fiance and I have discussed this, and we've decided that we'd rather not have a first dance, or any of the other 'ceremonial' dances that usually happen at the reception. Neither of us enjoy dancing, and he in particular feels like it would be embarrasing for him.

I have a few questions about this, though.

Firstly, is this considered rude? I know people generally expect a first dance, so I'm not sure if it would be against etiquette to deviate from that.

Assuming we're in the clear etiquette-wise, we will be having a DJ, with the option for guests to dance. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to indicate to guests that they can dance, even though there hasn't been a first dance? And would we go straight to speeches?

Thanks!

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Re: Not Intending on Doing First Dance?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No, there's nothing rude about not having a first dance or any spotlight dances.  You can omit them with impunity.

    In order to get guests on the dance floor, the DJ just needs to play dance music.  S/he can invite all guests to dance with the first song: "The dance floor is now open to all guests!"
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  • BlueBirdMBBlueBirdMB member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    There's nothing rude about not having a first dance.  The confusion for me as a guest would be this: I won't dance until the first dance because that is the signal that the dance floor is open.  Your DJ will have to make this happen and might have to work hard at it.
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  • christoutoporchristoutopor member
    First Comment
    We aren't having a first dance either, for all the same reasons. It's YOUR wedding. You guys decide whether you want one or not. : )
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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The only issue with not doing a first dance is that your guests may not know that the dance floor is open. But there are ways to get around that.
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  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    Thanks for the advice, everyone! Glad to hear it's not rude, and the suggestions for letting people know the dance floor is open are very helpful.

    Scribe95, that's an interesting idea, I'll have to bring it up with him to see how he feels about it. I like that it includes the guests, and honors long-standing relationships.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In addition to the above suggestions, can you and your FI let people know ahead of time in casual conversation that there won't be any "first dances" and everyone should just get up and dance?
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  • Gina0887Gina0887 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    You could ask your bridal party to start dancing and getting people going? If you have that fun kinda bridal party and during let the DJ announce the dance floor is open


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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We did a first dance but had the DJ announce that we would like other couples to join us for our first dance. So the DJ played "our song" but a ton of couples came up and danced alongside us so it wasn't a spotlight thing. It also kicked off the dancing.
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  • Hisprinc3ssHisprinc3ss member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    It isn't rude. It isn't a dance competition either. Who wants to feel awkward and embarrassed on their wedding day?! I'm having a few of my friends put together a dance for me. After the dance the DJ or band can begin to play songs that everyone love and enjoy. If you have an Emcee, he/she can entertain your guests with games or a dance competition lol
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  • MamaAlly89MamaAlly89 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    The last wedding I went to they had the whole bridal party come on to the dance floor. Then everyone of them had to go and grab another guest to bring to the dance floor. I though it was a good idea to get people out their and get the dancing started

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