If you could have (had) a longer/ shorter engagement- would you?

amakayeb

Ours will be just over a year when we get married in June. I'm really ready to just be married already, but a huge part of that is that we are long distance right now. Also, I have a very challenging class this year, so the typical "I'm just ready for the school year to be over!" feelings are magnified even more. On top of that, we won't find out until the end of this month were we will be living (we will move wherever his job places him, which could really be anywhere). I think that's what makes it the hardest--because I can't even picture what our life will be like, since I don't know where we'll be, what I'll be doing for a job, etc.

flyingfoxes

Ours will be about 16 months - got engaged in December, and will get married next April.  I'm kind of ready to just be married, but then again I want all the fun stuff, and with him being deployed, there's not a lot to be done.  I would have preferred this fall, but with him not getting back until this summer, that wasn't feasible.  April next year will be great.    

Fran1985

Ours will be about 16 months- wish it was shorter! But we got engaged late may and I thought we couldn't do it in under a year. We totally could've- Ive barely done any planning and its all pretty much done. I think 9 months would have been perfect. 

blabla89

We will have an 18 month engagement, which is not ideal. It would be fine if that was what we had chosen for ourselves. We want to get married next spring (12-13 months) but my little brother won't be back from Korea at that time. And everything in my family is all about my brother, so we're stuck waiting an extra 6 months.

On the bright side, it gives us plenty of time to save up and plan without feeling rushed.

crystalpropes

We will have been engaged 11 months when we get married this May, and honestly as much as I am just ready to be married, it has been the perfect amount of time because I have been seriously planning the entire time.  Its a destination beach wedding and we have no wedding planner, so its a a lot of work

JoanE2012

We had a 10 month engagement.  Definitely could've planned it sooner if it weren't for the dress.  I knew most dresses could take 6-8 months to come in, so I didn't want the stress of trying to find something in a tight timeframe.

jdluvr06

I'm getting the feeling I've had the longest engagement. Lol

CMGragain

My engagement lasted two months.  If I had it to do over again, I would have had a private ceremony with a minister.  My Mother and his mother made it pure hell.  I should have known better!

LadyMillil

We've been engaged for just over a year. Due to living situations - FI and I live on the west coast, our families are in Ontario and 400km apart - and unpredictable winter weather ruining travel plans, it left us with an April - September window so we either had to have an engagement of 5 months or less, or over a year. Waiting the year gave me the opportunity to take on an extra job to earn the money we needed to reach our budget. It was practical for us to be engaged a year, but I wish we had eloped shortly after getting engaged. 

natswild

for us it will be 16 months and 3 weeks when we get married next May.  We wanted a nice spring wedding, and with the work that we do, as well as my schooling, doing it this year just wasn't feasible.  We also wanted people to be able to save up, as we'll have family from both coasts coming

huskypuppy14

It will be 11.5 months, and I think it's just the right amount of time. I wouldn't want it any longer, and it probably could have been shorter, but we wanted to get married when the weather was nice, so June was our preferred month.

My sister had a little under a 2 year engagement and my mom thought under a year sounded so short, but I think almost 2 years is way too long, but to each their own.

Vivandiere8

Seems the general wishes on here are for shorter engagements so far. For myself I got engaged last August and wasn't able to really start planning until September. So with my wedding being in April we gave ourselves nine months technically, with only eight to plan. It was definitely tricky and a little more hectic (many venues were booked and we even had to get married on a Friday instead of a Saturday to make it work), but in truth it feels like it has been taking forever, and both of us just want it to be here now! People say "enjoy being engaged" but I feel I can easily enjoy being engaged for a month or two and that is good enough for me

kla728

We will have had a 16-month engagement when we get married in October.  I'm in grad school (and work FT) so I really needed a longer period of time to plan.  That said, I'll be done with grad school at the end of June and I have definitely realized that I already have a ton of work done so those last few months may be a bit slower paced in wedding planning land.

MadHops21

Ours is 22 months. I want to finish school before getting married, but it seems to be dragging and never going to get there. 

I'm almost done with the degree b/c I switched, but we are still going to wait for 2016 to buy a house together. I just wish time would speed up. 

emmaaa

jdluvr06 said:

I'm getting the feeling I've had the longest engagement. Lol

@jdluvr06 My FI's sister will have been engaged almost six years when she gets married this October! I don't know how y'all do it.
 ETF: spacing

FiancB

We totally could have done 6 months. We ended up pretty much replanning the whole thing at that point anyway. Would have loved to have it sooner but we did really want it over the summer since I'm a student and he's a teacher and it makes it really easy. I'm getting so impatient though!

thisismynickname2

I would have preferred a shorter than 1.5 year engagement, yes. But, we weren't together very long upon getting engaged and we're both finishing up grad school. Between those two factors, the 1.5 years is allowing us to save money and make other life adjustments. 

It's kind of weird, because we had the money to have the wedding we want, but it's the psychological feeling of the fact that the money already saved was rainy-day/nest-egg savings.  The 1.5 years allows to save a different pile of money for the wedding, if that makes sense. 

When it comes down to it, being in Chicago, we wouldn't have had the wedding we wanted if we'd planned with just 4-6 months because the preferred vendors book up quickly. FI had been married once before, with a very quick engagement, and he hated his wedding because they got the "dregs" of services, such as it was. 

jenna8984

@thisismynickname No that is very smart- I was involved in an accident and got a small settlement. Friends have asked/ assumed that I was using the whole thing for the wedding which I would never do. That is emergency savings and that's where it's going to remain!

beachyone15

We got engaged in October and are getting married in October of this year. Exactly 1 year. I originally envisioned a spring wedding so we would have had a 1 1/2 year engagement but our families encouraged us to not wait so long! They were right, I can't wait to marry my FI. 6 months down, 6 to go!

tcnoble

Our engagement will be 18 months by the time we tie the knot. I basically had everything planned in the first 6 months, so yes I would ideally have preferred a shorter engagement! But, for our situation, the long engagement was necessary for us to get our other "life" ducks in a row before embarking on married life. We are under the year mark now and I am sooo anxious but enjoying all that surrounds it

climbingsingle

Our engagement will end up being 1 years and 2 weeks. We need the time to save up money. Also, we're renovating our house. I can't have too many things going on at once!

RWS2011

We knew we were in for a longer engagement (just over 2 years) because of finances.  If we were at all worried about having the perfect wedding day, complete with all the crap the wedding industry says you need, and one which EVERYONE could attend, it may have taken us 4 years to afford a wedding.  It has felt like a LONG time, but now that we are at the 3 month mark, time is flying by. 

RedJacks25

By the time we get married, we'll have been engaged about 2 years. In the beginning of our engagement, I wished it could have been shorter because 2 years seemed so far away! But I knew it's what needed to happen for monetary purposes. We are now less than 9 months out and it's coming up so fast that my head is spinning. But I definitely don't wish for more time between now and when I get to marry the love of my life.

KytchynWitche

We will have been engaged 13 months. Actually, one day short of 14 months.

Financially-speaking I would have liked a longer engagement, but emotionally I am ready for this whole engagement period to be over already.

jdluvr06

eg72 said:

jdluvr06 said:

I'm getting the feeling I've had the longest engagement. Lol

@jdluvr06 My FI's sister will have been engaged almost six years when she gets married this October! I don't know how y'all do it.
 ETF: spacing

@eg72 it wasn't by choice. Lol. The first time we postponed, we had the whole wedding planned out and a lot of it paid for but FI's grandma died the week before the wedding so we decided to wait. Then when we started planning a second time his mom found out she had cancer so we put everything on hold. After she got better we started planning again but some other things got in the way, nothing bad just life stuff, and that slowed things down a bit. I think we are both holding our breaths until August. I won't believe it will actually happen this time until it does.

emmaaa

jdluvr06 said:

eg72 said:

jdluvr06 said:

I'm getting the feeling I've had the longest engagement. Lol

@jdluvr06 My FI's sister will have been engaged almost six years when she gets married this October! I don't know how y'all do it.
 ETF: spacing

@eg72 it wasn't by choice. Lol. The first time we postponed, we had the whole wedding planned out and a lot of it paid for but FI's grandma died the week before the wedding so we decided to wait. Then when we started planning a second time his mom found out she had cancer so we put everything on hold. After she got better we started planning again but some other things got in the way, nothing bad just life stuff, and that slowed things down a bit. I think we are both holding our breaths until August. I won't believe it will actually happen this time until it does.

@jdluvr06 Oh my goodnss! I'm sorry that y'all have been through that. I hope everything goes smoothely from here on out. FSIL and her FI waited until she finished college (she was almost 26 when she did) and moved back home. I think they are glad they have waited. They dated for a short amount of time and had a long engagement. FI and I dated for a longer time and had a short(er) engagement.

Gerbertmcway

When we get married this October we will have been engaged for 16 months. I wish we pushed it back to October 2015 (2 years 4 months) because we're in the process of buying a house, scheduled to close in June. It would have been a good idea to separate the wedding and house buying to be able to enjoy each one more on their own.