I accidentally found my engagement ring!!

andrea4255

My boyfriend and I went looking at rings at the end of January, and ended up both falling in love with a specific ring. It was on sale that weekend only, and was a really amazing deal. We left without the ring, and I didn't think anything of it until a few days ago. We have a shared piggy bank that we put our spare change and tips (I'm a waitress) into to help us buy things we want, not necessarily need. I went to grab the coin rollers from his bedside table and felt a box hidden in the back of the drawer. I immediately knew what it was!!! I have only told my really close friends, who of course already knew he had it! My question is, should I tell him I found it, and if so, when? I feel like if I tell him before he proposes, or even before we get married he'll be completely crushed. It doesn't bother me that I found it because the engagement will still be a complete surprise, but I don't think he'll view it that way. Has anyone else ever found their engagement rings and what did you do?

buddysmom80

andrea4255 said:

My boyfriend and I went looking at rings at the end of January, and ended up both falling in love with a specific ring. It was on sale that weekend only, and was a really amazing deal. We left without the ring, and I didn't think anything of it until a few days ago. We have a shared piggy bank that we put our spare change and tips (I'm a waitress) into to help us buy things we want, not necessarily need. I went to grab the coin rollers from his bedside table and felt a box hidden in the back of the drawer. I immediately knew what it was!!! I have only told my really close friends, who of course already knew he had it! My question is, should I tell him I found it, and if so, when? I feel like if I tell him before he proposes, or even before we get married he'll be completely crushed. It doesn't bother me that I found it because the engagement will still be a complete surprise, but I don't think he'll view it that way. Has anyone else ever found their engagement rings and what did you do?

Maybe it was a pony?

andrea4255

hahaha. I was hoping it was anything but what it is! I did look at the box and it does say "Peoples" on it, and my friend has confirmed that it is what I think it is!

mbross3

I wouldn't mention it. I know it might sound hard/impossible, but try to put it from your mind. Pick up a hobby or a new book, keep busy. A lot of ladies on this board can tell you that their SOs had the ring for a LONG time before proposing. You just don't know when he's going to do it, and there's no sense in constantly getting your hopes up. Enjoy your life and relationship with your SO and the proposal will happen when he/both of you are ready

andrea4255

Thanks girls! I don't think I'll mention anything to him. Luckily between going to school full time and working full time, my mind is usually too busy to concentrate on this whole ring thing. hahaa.

CLoGreenEyes

I don't see what the purpose would be in telling him what you found. If it's the ring, he might be disappointed that you found it before he proposed; if it's not, it's just awkward. Either way, nothing particularly good happens. Just smile to yourself and get on with life as usual - you'll see it when it's time.

phira

Eh, I wouldn't tell him.

Granted, I found my ring, but 1) I was looking for it intentionally, and 2) I knew when we were getting engaged.

Dignity100

If it's in a location where you always go - I might be like 'Dude, you need a better hiding spot' - if it's in a location that I really don't go into very often I probably would just let it go.

Swazzle

I probably wouldn't mention it now because I don't see much of a point especially if you think he'd be bummed out about it. 

cu97tiger

I always knew where my e-ring was. At first, it was just my grandmother's ring that he hadn't yet taken the diamond out of... but I checked that drawer about once a week, just to 'see' what was there (or not there). Then suddenly, one day, there was a new box there. I didn't tell him that I knew that it was there, because what's the point? We had talked about getting engaged and about rings, so I knew it was coming.

Just try to relax, enjoy your relationship as it is now, and stop going into that drawer!

Peaseblossom55

cu97tiger said:

I always knew where my e-ring was. At first, it was just my grandmother's ring that he hadn't yet taken the diamond out of... but I checked that drawer about once a week, just to 'see' what was there (or not there). Then suddenly, one day, there was a new box there. I didn't tell him that I knew that it was there, because what's the point? We had talked about getting engaged and about rings, so I knew it was coming.

Just try to relax, enjoy your relationship as it is now, and stop going into that drawer!

All of this @Cu97tiger is very wise!

eilis1228

I agree with all the ladies on here. You're just going to potentially upset him and drive yourself crazy at the same time. I went through something similar and felt like a total ass by the end of the day. For Valentine's Day, my boyfriend kept hinting he was getting me something really special. He kept telling me it was custom made, expensive, and the company he ordered it from sent him updates every step of the way. It finally dawned on me that he could easily be talking about an engagement ring. I got so nervous/excited that I panicked and felt like I needed to prepare myself, so I logged into his email and found an update from Gemvara. I didn't open the email--just immediately closed out and figured that was confirmation it was a ring. I spent the whole day freaking out (in a good way) and was trying to figure out how and when he would propose. By the end of the day though, I realized that without having opened the email, I had no clue if it was really a ring. I logged in once again, opened the email, and discovered it was a necklace. I felt like such an idiot! I also felt incredibly guilty for snooping in the first place. He was so excited about having a necklace custom made for me, and all I could do was obsess about whether or not it was a ring. I was such an ass! 

So, anyway, moral of the story---just be patient! Let him have this time to prepare the perfect proposal, and just enjoy your relationship as it is now.

suzie211

TheWeddingMile said:

The interesting thing about the 'go to one knee, reveal engagement ring' tradition is that it really became popular during the twentieth century, thanks to promotional campaigns by jewelry companies like DeBeers. Advertisements encouraged men to choose diamond-tipped engagement rings over other kinds, and to surprise their lovers with them, so they wouldn't have a chance to weigh in on the price of the purchase...

...not that any of the above is meant to be a buzz-kill (especially since you both liked the ring in question)! It's the proposal that matters most of all, so let your fiance-to-be work up the courage to say the right words to you at the right time!

Ugh.  No the proposal is not the most important thing.  The proposal is one millisecond in a relationship.  I'm pretty sure the relationship and marriage are the most important things.  How flashy or quiet a proposal is means nothing in the long run.

OP, relax.   Enjoy your relationship as it is now.  You may be right and it is the ring, or it could be earrings for his mother.  Be happy you have found someone you want to spend forever with and enjoy the quiet moments in your relationship before it moves to the next step.  Once there you can't get those back.  

Even if it is the ring it doesn't mean it will W's for 8 years before he did.  It will happen when he's ready and you can't make it happen any sooner than that.  So invest in some patience pants and use them.

Moiramab

I kind of assumed she meant in a proposal vs ring situation, him having the opportunity to propose is more important than revealing that she knows there's a ring or what the ring looks like etc., so basically agreeing with everyone to try and ignore it and let it happen when he's ready.