Annoyed and FH doesn't agree.

MegTrashy

So I am a bitch first and foremost. FH says I've become a bridezilla and I don't feel that I really have. Let me tell you why he says this. He has a friend who has a GF and she's a bit of a nut job. FH and I have another set of friends tying the knot 6 weeks after us. Crazy GF has asked the other bride and my self to address their invites as Mr. & Mrs. This is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! they're not engaged. I feel like its total and utter disrespect to bride #2 and I. Like she just HAS to get in on the wedding thing. I wanted to be a C U Next Tuesday and address it to her by her actual name but FH says just do it how she asks. Bride #2 is as annoyed as me but is still going to do what Nut bag wants. Im sorry I just wanted to vent and have someone else legitimize my feelings about this whole situation. 

P.S. FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!

AshleyNicole1218

MegTrashy said:

So I am a bitch first and foremost. FH says I've become a bridezilla and I don't feel that I really have. Let me tell you why he says this. He has a friend who has a GF and she's a bit of a nut job. FH and I have another set of friends tying the knot 6 weeks after us. Crazy GF has asked the other bride and my self to address their invites as Mr. & Mrs. This is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! they're not engaged. I feel like its total and utter disrespect to bride #2 and I. Like she just HAS to get in on the wedding thing. I wanted to be a C U Next Tuesday and address it to her by her actual name but FH says just do it how she asks. Bride #2 is as annoyed as me but is still going to do what Nut bag wants. Im sorry I just wanted to vent and have someone else legitimize my feelings about this whole situation. 

P.S. FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!

Quoted.

I'm sure some of the other ladies can speak to proper etiquette on addressing invites, but my feeling is you address it accurately. If someone is not a married couple, you do not address it as such.

My concern is that you (or FI rather) are inviting people into your wedding party and then telling them they are no longer needed because numbers are not even. A big 'what the fuck' in my book. Way more than someone being crazy about how they want you to address their invites/offer to be in your WP.

Edited because I cannot type on mobile. Like ever.

MegTrashy

@AshleyNicole1218 Haha I agree... It was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL

HisGirlFriday13

You're being rude, your FI is being rude, and this girlfriend is being rude.

You all win. Or lose. Depending on how you look at things.

MegTrashy

@HisGirlFriday13 Why am I being rude? Please elaborate.

Vivandiere8

MegTrashy said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Why am I being rude? Please elaborate.

It's rude to invite someone to be in your wedding party, and then dis-invite them. Dis-inviting them because they are a flake, likely to be late, etc are not good enough reasons to tell them they are no longer wanted. If they have started putting black magic curses on you or drowning puppies you can kick them out. But them being annoying, stupid, drunk, or what have you is not a good enough reason. My fiancé himself has a groomsman he probably shouldn't have asked, and has since gone MIA, but we aren't kicking him out. If he shows he shows, if not a groomsman will escort two maids.

Vivandiere8

MegTrashy said:

@AshleyNicole1218 Haha I agree... It was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL

Unfortunately some F*ups don't get to be "fixed" or shouldn't be if you want to avoid being rude. I do sympathies with you. It sounds like your fiancé shouldn't have asked this particular friend. But can you imagine being asked to serve a roll that is suppose to be given as an honor... And then being told "we don't need you any more" as if the roll he was being asked to fill is one of a prop? And since his girl offered to fill in the roll of the supposed missing bridesmaid you can tell this particular friend actually wanted to be a groomsman. It's just not a nice thing to do no matter how it came about. The friend is an innocent party to your fiancés screw up and shouldn't be kicked out for it.

CMGragain

" FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!"
"t was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL"

It sounds like this wedding is a train wreck in the making.  There is absolutely nothing "LOL" funny about anything you have posted.  You don't seem to show any respect for peoples' feelings. 
I think you are too irresponsible for marriage.  You need to grow up and accept responsibility for your own actions. 

1.  Your FI invited someone to be in his wedding party while he was drunk.
2.  You lied to people to cover this up.
3.  Numbers are more important to you than people's feelings.
4.  You are under the impression that everyone drinks excessively, and that this is socially acceptable.  (It is not.)
5.  You are encouraging your FI to lie to cover mistakes he made while drunk, instead of manning up and taking responsibility.
6.  You think that being "a moron drunk" is an excuse for irresponsible behavior.
7.  You judge other people's behavior, and call them disrespectful names.  Very immature.

pinkshorts27

CMGragain said:

" FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!"
"t was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL"

It sounds like this wedding is a train wreck in the making.  There is absolutely nothing "LOL" funny about anything you have posted.  You don't seem to show any respect for peoples' feelings. 
I think you are too irresponsible for marriage.  You need to grow up and accept responsibility for your own actions. 

1.  Your FI invited someone to be in his wedding party while he was drunk.
2.  You lied to people to cover this up.
3.  Numbers are more important to you than people's feelings.
4.  You are under the impression that everyone drinks excessively, and that this is socially acceptable.  (It is not.)
5.  You are encouraging your FI to lie to cover mistakes he made while drunk, instead of manning up and taking responsibility.
6.  You think that being "moron drunk" is an excuse for irresponsible behavior.
7.  You judge other people's behavior, and call them disrespectful names.  Very immature behavior.

Seconded. 

Simply Fated

Is it too early to call MUD?

Sorry, not sorry... but Meg Trashy typing in LOLCAPS about how she made her fiance kick his friend out of the wedding party because they sides need to be even is total crap. Or it's real and hope for humanity is diminishing fast. One of the two.

larrygaga

I don't understand why people think they need equal wedding parties. Did they forget why they have wedding parties?

Cookie Pusher

larrygaga said:

I don't understand why people think they need equal wedding parties. Did they forget why they have wedding parties?

What do you mean? They're supposed to be identically dressed and coiffed free labor that doubles as props for the ceremony and pictures!

AshleyNicole1218

@MegTrashy I think you misread my reply to your post. I found nothing funny about inviting then uninviting someone into a WP. My reply is right in line with @HisGirlFriday13.

ScoutF

MegTrashy said:

@AshleyNicole1218 Haha I agree... It was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL

It's also not your decision who your FI asks to stand with him. You don't get a say in that.  If you want three BMs and he wants four GM, fine. Sides don't have to be even. 

HisGirlFriday13

MegTrashy said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Why am I being rude? Please elaborate.

Everyone else already clarified why you're being rude, so I don't have to. 

But it also sounds like you have a FI problem. Does he frequently get drunk and do stupid things? If so, you have bigger problems than your rudeness.

grumbledore

MegTrashy said:

So I am a bitch first and foremost. FH says I've become a bridezilla and I don't feel that I really have. Let me tell you why he says this. He has a friend who has a GF and she's a bit of a nut job. FH and I have another set of friends tying the knot 6 weeks after us. Crazy GF has asked the other bride and my self to address their invites as Mr. & Mrs. This is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! they're not engaged. I feel like its total and utter disrespect to bride #2 and I. Like she just HAS to get in on the wedding thing. I wanted to be a C U Next Tuesday and address it to her by her actual name but FH says just do it how she asks. Bride #2 is as annoyed as me but is still going to do what Nut bag wants. Im sorry I just wanted to vent and have someone else legitimize my feelings about this whole situation. 

P.S. FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!

I would absolutely not address their invitation that way.  It's incorrect.

And your FH pulled a real asshole move kicking his friend out of the wedding party.

Pandemonia

CMGragain said:

" FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!"
"t was HIS bad thats why I made him do it. He was drunk, and felt "guilty" and invited him out of pity.  The guy is a FLAKE!!!!! He will be late to his own funeral and I blew my lid when I found out he invited him to be in the wedding when we AGREED he wasn't in it. We were never a maid short. FH F*cked up, So I made FH fix it. We only agreed on 3 each he stupidly invited the 4th cuz he's a moron drunk, like so many of us are. LOL"

It sounds like this wedding is a train wreck in the making.  There is absolutely nothing "LOL" funny about anything you have posted.  You don't seem to show any respect for peoples' feelings. 
I think you are too irresponsible for marriage.  You need to grow up and accept responsibility for your own actions. 

1.  Your FI invited someone to be in his wedding party while he was drunk.
2.  You lied to people to cover this up.
3.  Numbers are more important to you than people's feelings.
4.  You are under the impression that everyone drinks excessively, and that this is socially acceptable.  (It is not.)
5.  You are encouraging your FI to lie to cover mistakes he made while drunk, instead of manning up and taking responsibility.
6.  You think that being "a moron drunk" is an excuse for irresponsible behavior.
7.  You judge other people's behavior, and call them disrespectful names.  Very immature.

I couldn't have put it better.

I almost need a route map to plot my way through this morass of rudeness.

KGold80

MegTrashy said:

So I am a bitch first and foremost. FH says I've become a bridezilla and I don't feel that I really have. Let me tell you why he says this. He has a friend who has a GF and she's a bit of a nut job. FH and I have another set of friends tying the knot 6 weeks after us. Crazy GF has asked the other bride and my self to address their invites as Mr. & Mrs. This is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! they're not engaged. I feel like its total and utter disrespect to bride #2 and I. Like she just HAS to get in on the wedding thing. I wanted to be a C U Next Tuesday and address it to her by her actual name but FH says just do it how she asks. Bride #2 is as annoyed as me but is still going to do what Nut bag wants. Im sorry I just wanted to vent and have someone else legitimize my feelings about this whole situation. 

P.S. FH told his friend we were a maid down so he didn't need him in the wedding anymore and Nut Bag offered to be in my wedding!!!!! 

soooo annoying!

You prefaced the whole thing by saying that you are a bitch yet refuse to believe that you are being rude. I do not understand your logic, or lack thereof.

Regardless of the fact that you think your fiance made a mistake in inviting said groomsman to be a member of your wedding party, forcing him to then lie to the guy and kick him out of the wedding party was extremely rude and yes, Bridezilla-like. I think you need to remember the golden rule here "Treat others as you would like to be treated."

mbross3

I would not address the invitation as Mr.&Mrs. if they are not married. While I try to respect people's preferences in terms of how they would like to be addressed, it just seems weird to address a dating couple as a married couple. 

As to the other issue, I think your FI needs to decide if this is a relationship he wants to salvage. If I were invited and then uninvited from a WP, it could be a friendship ending move for me. That's incredibly hurtful and I'm surprised you made your FI do that. It's perfectly fine to have uneven sides, especially if it means not hurting a friend.

zitiqueen

I don't think TrashBag is coming back. If she was ever real to begin with.

RedJacks25

Wow... You really don't think very highly of your FI. Even when my FI annoys the ever-loving bejeezus out of me, I would never, ever speak about him like you have done here about yours.

MegTrashy

I should have stated that I did have a 4th to "fix" this issue. FI didn't want to. And I wish I could say the would be a little bit late but the guy is beyond REDICULOUS. It's gotten so bad their tardiness that we've stopped inviting him to functions as a group of friends. FI is the one who lied. I didn't want him to I wanted him to be honest from the beginning. I do realize I came off as a royal notch but I really didn't mean too. FI doesn't have a drinking problem. I didn't care who he choose to be in the wedding party he said from the start he didn't want this guy because he is such a flake. That's why I didn't understand why he did that.

KatWAG

MegTrashy said:

I should have stated that I did have a 4th to "fix" this issue. FI didn't want to. And I wish I could say the would be a little bit late but the guy is beyond REDICULOUS. It's gotten so bad their tardiness that we've stopped inviting him to functions as a group of friends. FI is the one who lied. I didn't want him to I wanted him to be honest from the beginning. I do realize I came off as a royal notch but I really didn't mean too. FI doesn't have a drinking problem. I didn't care who he choose to be in the wedding party he said from the start he didn't want this guy because he is such a flake. That's why I didn't understand why he did that.

First, If you are going to put something in all caps, at least spell it right.

And it doesnt matter if you had BM on hand to "fix" the situation. What your fi did was rude. There is no way around it. Your fi asked him to be a GM and then sobered up and kicked him out. 5 year olds have better manners on the playground than your fi.

KatWAG

Oh and the invite, along with your apology note, so be address to their current names. Not Mr and Mrs.

MegTrashy

@katwag @RedJacks25 @zitiqueen @mbross3 @kGold80 @Pandemonia @grumbledore @HisGirlFriday13 @Scout F @AshleyNichole1218 @Cookie Pusher @larrygaga @missax @Simplyfated @blueyes90 @CMGragain @Vivandiere8
I feel I should defend my self further. I regret I added this part because I didn't think I'd be crucified to this extent. First and foremost my name is because FI is in the music biz and I have been labeled as Mrs Trashy from the start. Second of all former groomsmen and nut job GF are Herion addicts. This is a recently new development ( less than a year) and the groomsmen disappears for days when he runs out of money for fixes. And say he does show, what am I do with a hot mess of an addict making a scene in my photos in front of
Our families? And before you jump down my throat about FI being friends with an addict we have all distanced ourselves from these two quite a lot. Yes I agree it was rude this is why I wanted to "fix" it. But at the end of the day FI didn't think he could trust said groomsmen enough to be in the wedding. This wasn't even the issue at hand it was the fact that nut job is nuts, and is insisting on the invite to be labeled as Mrs. I'm sorry that I've added that little tid bit. This has scared me away from any future posts. It's disgusting how you ladies instantly crucify someone. And it's probably disgusting that I shared that bit of info but I feel as if what we did wasn't rude considering the weight of the situation now at hand. I apologize my spelling is horrible it's one of my faults. And I'm mobile so spell check doesn't check on words in all caps. I'm so glad you ladies are quick to jump when down my throat that FI has a drinking problem when we were at a party. FI is having difficulty dealing with a long time friend being a HA and this is why he asked him then realized what he did. The guy disappeared on us for three days that's why FI insisted on asking him not to be apart or our big day. This is my last reply to this post. Say as you will about me ladies. But I will NOT be sending an apology note to MR. former groomsmen and Mrs. NUT bag. I'm madly in love with my FI we will be getting married 4 days after our 7th anniversary and I do realize what I said about him came off as really horrible. I was only quoting what he said about himself. I don't feel he's a moron he only did a moronic thing drunk. FI is a good person deep down and still feels like a heel about the whole situation. But what other choice did we have ladies?

HisGirlFriday13

MegTrashy said:

@katwag @RedJacks25 @zitiqueen @mbross3 @kGold80 @Pandemonia @grumbledore @HisGirlFriday13 @Scout F @AshleyNichole1218 @Cookie Pusher @larrygaga @missax @Simplyfated @blueyes90 @CMGragain @Vivandiere8
I feel I should defend my self further. I regret I added this part because I didn't think I'd be crucified to this extent. First and foremost my name is because FI is in the music biz and I have been labeled as Mrs Trashy from the start. Second of all former groomsmen and nut job GF are Herion addicts. This is a recently new development ( less than a year) and the groomsmen disappears for days when he runs out of money for fixes. And say he does show, what am I do with a hot mess of an addict making a scene in my photos in front of
Our families? And before you jump down my throat about FI being friends with an addict we have all distanced ourselves from these two quite a lot. Yes I agree it was rude this is why I wanted to "fix" it. But at the end of the day FI didn't think he could trust said groomsmen enough to be in the wedding. This wasn't even the issue at hand it was the fact that nut job is nuts, and is insisting on the invite to be labeled as Mrs. I'm sorry that I've added that little tid bit. This has scared me away from any future posts. It's disgusting how you ladies instantly crucify someone. And it's probably disgusting that I shared that bit of info but I feel as if what we did wasn't rude considering the weight of the situation now at hand. I apologize my spelling is horrible it's one of my faults. And I'm mobile so spell check doesn't check on words in all caps. I'm so glad you ladies are quick to jump when down my throat that FI has a drinking problem when we were at a party. FI is having difficulty dealing with a long time friend being a HA and this is why he asked him then realized what he did. The guy disappeared on us for three days that's why FI insisted on asking him not to be apart or our big day. This is my last reply to this post. Say as you will about me ladies. But I will NOT be sending an apology note to MR. former groomsmen and Mrs. NUT bag. I'm madly in love with my FI we will be getting married 4 days after our 7th anniversary and I do realize what I said about him came off as really horrible. I was only quoting what he said about himself. I don't feel he's a moron he only did a moronic thing drunk. FI is a good person deep down and still feels like a heel about the whole situation. But what other choice did we have ladies?

You haven't distanced yourselves that much if your FI is getting drunk with him.

MegTrashy

FI's music name is Mr. Trashy. This has been why I've been labeled as such. So I've been embraced it.

MegTrashy

@HisGirlFriday13 I've come to realize I'm a cunt in your eyes no matter the reasons behind what's done so that's fine. It was 6 months ago. The last time we saw the guy was three months after that. It was a party we all happened to be attending FI only seen him twice since the the initial invitation once again at another party and the 2nd being last week when he went to the guys house to break the news to him. So yes we have distanced ourselves. And he hadn't purchased any groomsmen attire yet. So he's not out any money.

KatWAG

I thought you were done posting? Dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

CMGragain

Your FI could have apologized to his friend, admitted that he was drunk when he asked him to be in HIS wedding party, and said that he had made a mistake when he asked him.  Instead, he lied to his friend about needing equal sides, which puts the blame on you.  Yeah, real nice move!  He needs to stop drinking.
Being "madly in love" with your FI will not make your marriage work.  Honestly and a sense of responsibility will.  Mature people treat everyone with respect and courtesy, not just people who meet their standards of acceptability.

MegTrashy

@katwag wow I'm still sitting here seeing all
The posts and am Answering questions. How big is that stick up your ass. So what maybe I'm not done posting it's my board!
@skrekspeare yes I'm completely sure. He's the biggest teddy bear in the world and I love being with him. It was an adjustment getting used to the name but ok over it now. In the grander scale of things he's my best friend my partner my biggest supporter and I am his #1 fan. I can't wait to be his Mrs. In all things.