So... when are you having kids?

SBmini

I have to give both sets of parents credit. My fiance and I have been together for 10 years and none of them have given us any pressure about kids until about a month away from the wedding. We keep telling them, "Let's get through the wedding first." but the truth is... this is my last pack of birth control. 

So... when are you having kids?

hlvonb

SBmini said:

I have to give both sets of parents credit. My fiance and I have been together for 10 years and none of them have given us any pressure about kids until about a month away from the wedding. We keep telling them, "Let's get through the wedding first." but the truth is... this is my last pack of birth control. 

So... when are you having kids?

@SBmini

My fiance and I haven't decided on a specific time yet but we're both in 100% agreement that we want to be married for 2 years before we have kids.

mimiphin

We are getting married in Sept 2015 and my current IUD has to be changed in April 2017 so I figure FI and I will figure out then if we want kids or not and pick the route to go.

RedJacks25

We'll start trying about 6 months after we get married.

jdluvr06

We're starting the adoption process as soon as we get back from the honeymoon.

Cookie Pusher

Dear God, never. It is pretty much my worst nightmare ever!

WinstonsGirl

Hopefully never.  A friend just got preggo on her IUD, so I'm totally paranoid now that I've just changed mine

hlvonb

mimiphin said:

We are getting married in Sept 2015 and my current IUD has to be changed in April 2017 so I figure FI and I will figure out then if we want kids or not and pick the route to go.

@mimiphin

That's a smart idea!

hlvonb

jdluvr06 said:

We're starting the adoption process as soon as we get back from the honeymoon.

@jdluvr06

My fiance and I want to adopt too but we want to wait to make sure we're ready financially and have the first year or 2 for just us so you'll have to let me know how the adoption process goes. I was adopted so I could ask my parents but they adopted me about 19 years ago (when I was 7) so I am assuming things have changed since then.

lovesclimbing

H and I figure we'll wait at least another two or three years. Don't know for sure.

Jells2dot0

Another never here!!!! If anyone ever asked me when we were going to have kids, I'd just have to bust out laughing in their face. My DH is going to be retiring in the next 5 years. Why in the hell would we ever start from scratch? I've never wanted kids, but my DH has two from his previous marriage and that was certainly more than enough for me to handle. Thankfully, they are adults now.

edit- spelling

vk2204

Ugh, that is one of the worst questions. My H and I have been together for 9 years and married almost 1 year and that question has been asked for the past 5 freaking years. When we started to try, we did not tell a soul; and surprisingly it happened right away for us. I am just under 21 weeks pregnant and now the questions are "what are you having?!" we aren't finding out. "When will you have another one?" Um I'd like to get this one out before we start thinking about another one. "Was it planned?" I have yet to think of a good response to this question, it always catches me off guard.

RissAnn1970

Never.

ShallowSeas

As of now, we plan on trying soon after our 1 year anniversary...unless we get a really bad case of baby fever before then, which is possible since we have both been talking about babies more and more lately...

cupcait927

FI and I had talked quite a bit about getting pregnant right after we get married this fall but we've now decided to wait until we're at least 30 (we're both 27 now, turning 28 this year). We want to enjoy just being married and settle into our house before we start taking on a new responsibility.

jenna8984

We will both be 29 at our wedding this fall. We want to start trying at around the 2 year anniversary. Maybe even another year after that. We both are thrilled with the prospect and can't wait to be parents, but we want to enjoy our silent/romantic newlywed years, do more traveling, buy a bigger house than our current one. A lot of people say they want want to travel but don't- we aren't like that. We've been to Machu Piccu, Japan, China, Greece, Mexico, etc so when we say we're traveling in the next 3 years we really mean it lol.

KytchynWitche

Never. If we do somehow change our minds, which is highly unlikely, we'll adopt.

Chipmunk415

My nieces asked me THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING if we were going to have babies. I tried being vague about it being sometime in the future. They wanted SPECIFIC TIME FRAMES. (the girls are 9 and 7). I had to bean dip children. DH and I will have kids when we are ready for them, probably in a few years we will start trying.

cruffino

We will give it a shot in the next 6-12 months. But I sure am tired of people asking us about it.

grumbledore

November 9, 2014 lol.  We've already been waiting.  We're going to be 33 (me) and 34 (him) when we get married, no time to waste.  We've been together almost 5 years and have been talking about having a baby for over a year.  We're ready.

cookie0803

vk2204 said:

Ugh, that is one of the worst questions. My H and I have been together for 9 years and married almost 1 year and that question has been asked for the past 5 freaking years. When we started to try, we did not tell a soul; and surprisingly it happened right away for us. I am just under 21 weeks pregnant and now the questions are "what are you having?!" we aren't finding out. "When will you have another one?" Um I'd like to get this one out before we start thinking about another one. "Was it planned?" I have yet to think of a good response to this question, it always catches me off guard.

I hate that question! The worst question we've gotten so far was asked by my dad: "Do you know the conception date?" I told him he had 5 seconds to consider why that question was gross and inappropriate. He got mad and said he just wanted to be able to figure out the due date. Umm...I could have just told you that.


Also, belly touching. When someone touches me without asking, I just reach out and touch their stomach right back.

emmyg65

Any day now! We actually started trying a few months before our wedding because we knew we'd have a hard time. In June, it will have been a year of trying and we can get an appointment with a fertility specialist. Fun stuff!

FiancB

I've got baby rabies pretty bad. The plan was to get married, wait a while, get me out of nursing school which I'll hopefully be starting in the spring. BUT we are moving a lot closer to his family and I'm thinking that with their help we can swing it sooner, especially if we manage to time it so that we have a baby over the summer. 

I would like for us to be married a year before we start trying... but due to timing I'm already going to have to take a semester off and if I end up not getting in my first try it'll be another semester, at which point I'm going to advocate for trying then since I'd be forced to take time off anyway. 

Meh. It would also be nice if we could buy a house first but when we get married I'll be 27 and he'll be 30 and I don't want to wait a whole lot longer. 

HaileyDancingbear

Never.  Nothing about motherhood is for me.  I think a lot of people assume I must really want kids because I work with them, but it's absolutely untrue and gives me WAY too much credit, and mothers not enough credit- Just because I can be around/interact with kids for a few hours at a time (And apparently, as socially weird and uncomfortable as I am, I must be doing something right because they always miss me/ask about me when I'm not at work) does not mean I would automatically be a good mom.  There's a huge difference between working with a kid for an hour and raising one.

If you were ging to compare me at work to actual motherhood, really at work I'm only seeing the "fun" part of parenting- the kids are in a good mood because they love the place, and my only job is to smile and be nice and keep everyone happy. So I see the happiness and giggles, I crack up at some of the stuff that comes out of their mouth, etc, but I'm not the one who then has to deal with naps, potty training, school, school related problems, keeping them well-fed, making sure they go to bed on time etc.  And frankly I don't think I could handle those responsibilities- I'm tired when I get out of work.  I need my nights off.  I couldn't do this 24/7 and I could DEFINITELY see myself being a huge pushover as a mom because I DO NOT LIKE tears- that makes me useful in an environment where we want happiness and smiles at all times, but useless in a parenting situation where you have to be the "bad guy" for the sake of the child not growing up spoiled and bratty. 

Peaseblossom55

Probably in Sept I'm 34 and FI is 41 so time is not on our side.  We wanted to wait a few months after the wedding and just enjoy the summer too!

HobokensFury

Our wasn't a specific time issue but a life in the way issue. We wanted to try right after we got married but we pushed TTC back because my mom was fighting cancer. Her battle lasted 18 months and all she wanted was a grand baby once she got better. She went into remission in May and I got pregnant in June.

Maggie0829

Currently, never (I will never say never, because you just never know what will happen, but I am 99% certain that H and I will be baby free forever).  I will be 30 in August but have never had any real inkling of wanting kids.  I never want to hold new babies and after an hour with my niece I just want to shut myself in a room and take a breather.  I also find most kids to be annoying and irritating.  I also absolutely hate when people tell me "oh well you will change your mind."  Like if I don't I am some sort of devil woman.  H and I like being selfish and our "just got home from work and now we are going to sit and watch tv for 2 hours" quiet time.  We like sleeping in.  We like just getting up and going out without much hassle.  We also like having extra money.  Kids are expensive and so is childcare.  If H and I had a kid one of us would need to get a part time job just to help pay for childcare because we just don't have that extra $1000/month laying around.

Jells2dot0

Interesting to see so many couples that do not want to have kids. In my social circle, I'm one of very few. I have definitely grown apart from most of those who did have kids just because there isn't much we have in common to talk about on a regular basis. We still care about one another, but just don't have much to chat about.

Even with it being obvious that my DH is a bit older, people still don't get the hint that we're not going to have kids. Thankfully, our families get it and leave us alone. It's other people. I should bean dip, but my first response is always "DH is 52, so I don't see how that makes sense." Apparently that is not enough to shut people up because the answer is usually "So people do that all of the time!" I need to just start telling people that I hate kids and mae that will shut them up. (Not saying I really, really hate them, but you know...) I really like our life right now and I can't imagine ever changing that to start a family.

Maggie0829

@Jells2dot0 - TK is one of the few places where I have found a lot of couples who don't want kids. The people that we know all have kids, are trying to have kids, or want kids.  We have had to back away from a few friendships because of them having kids.  I mean, it is great for them and I am happy that they are having the life that they want, but H and I don't always want to hang out at their house while their kids and other couples kids are running around and being obnoxious.  We are just in a different place and they can't really see that.

SBmini

I have a lot of friends who never want to have kids. I think it is becoming more, and more normal. For us, I'm 28 and my FI is 30. We've been together for 10 years and bought our house 3 years ago. We already feel like we had that honeymoon stage, so timing is right for us. But we're not broadcasting to many people that we want to start having kids right after we get married. At least I'm not... my fiance keeps talking to pregnant people at his job and he comes home with announcements like, "Today I learned that you'll have cravings that will require me to go to two or three different places." Uh, OK... so why are you talking about cravings to people?

KeptInStitches

I'm 26. He's 29. We're not rushing right now - I'm not in a stable job at the moment and I'd like to not be living off soft money (grants, etc.). The timing's not right for kids yet. We'll try probably within the next 5 years at the outside, but not today.