She's eloping!

irishfly

Only about 4 of us know. So we are sworn to secrecy. They've been together 8 years and just want to do it low key. I'm soooo excited and honored to be a part of it. I want to know if anyone has tips on what a bride eloping might still want even thought they are doing it privately in a park in 10 days?! I was thinking maybe a small bouquet..... The something old new blue borrowed. Anything else??

Jen4948

What she probably wants the most is no attention at all.  If she wanted any more attention, she would not be eloping but inviting others to her wedding.  Leave it alone.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

What she probably wants the most is no attention at all.  If she wanted any more attention, she would not be eloping but inviting others to her wedding.  Leave it alone.

100% this.  The whole point of eloping is to not make it a big deal and for hardly anyone to know. Unless she specifically says that she wants a small bouquet or something of that nature then I wouldn't do anything.

irishfly

Feels so unnatural but ok. Thanks guys

mysticl

Only about 4 of us know. So we are sworn to secrecy. They've been together 8 years and just want to do it low key. I'm soooo excited and honored to be a part of it. I want to know if anyone has tips on what a bride eloping might still want even thought they are doing it privately in a park in 10 days?! I was thinking maybe a small bouquet..... The something old new blue borrowed. Anything else??

If she wants flowers wouldn't she (like every other bride out there) get them for herself?  That way she will have exactly what she wants.  

HisGirlFriday13

pawwss said:

Only about 4 of us know. So we are sworn to secrecy. They've been together 8 years and just want to do it low key. I'm soooo excited and honored to be a part of it. I want to know if anyone has tips on what a bride eloping might still want even thought they are doing it privately in a park in 10 days?! I was thinking maybe a small bouquet..... The something old new blue borrowed. Anything else??

As @Jells2dot0 points out all the time, with good reason, eloping means running away to get married privately. Once people know about you getting married before you get married, you are no longer eloping. 

And if they're having people be part of their special day, they are DEFINITELY not eloping. 

Jells2dot0

HisGirlFriday13 said:

pawwss said:

Only about 4 of us know. So we are sworn to secrecy. They've been together 8 years and just want to do it low key. I'm soooo excited and honored to be a part of it. I want to know if anyone has tips on what a bride eloping might still want even thought they are doing it privately in a park in 10 days?! I was thinking maybe a small bouquet..... The something old new blue borrowed. Anything else??

As @Jells2dot0 points out all the time, with good reason, eloping means running away to get married privately. Once people know about you getting married before you get married, you are no longer eloping. 

And if they're having people be part of their special day, they are DEFINITELY not eloping. 

EXACTLY. I can't tell based on the OP if people will be in attendance or not. If there is even one guest, then it's a small wedding. If there are no guests, but people know and help out, it's a private wedding. If the bride and groom just randomly show up on Facebook as married and every freaks, that is an elopement. Which, FWIW, happened to us because my photographer posted some pics the next day and tagged me. I just about died laughing at the response from everyone! LOL It was great.

netskyblue2

How DO you truly elope, then?  We had to take a witness with us to apply for our license, and they had to sign and swear that they knew us.  Then we have the 3-day waiting period for the license to be valid, and we have to have 2 people witness the official signing when we marry.

Maggie0829

netskyblue2 said:

How DO you truly elope, then?  We had to take a witness with us to apply for our license, and they had to sign and swear that they knew us.  Then we have the 3-day waiting period for the license to be valid, and we have to have 2 people witness the official signing when we marry.

Never heard of that before.

But typically the couple goes and gets their license and gets married (the day of witnesses can be anyone...sometimes couples will use the photographer that they hired to take some pictures and maybe a clerk in the courthouse or the photographers assistant, or whomever may be around) without anyone knowing about it.

My previous boss got married in the Caribbean.  Their families thought they were just going on vacation.  The day of their ceremony my boss had flowers delivered to both sets of parents with a note telling them that they got married (surprise!).

Jen4948

netskyblue2 said:

How DO you truly elope, then?  We had to take a witness with us to apply for our license, and they had to sign and swear that they knew us.  Then we have the 3-day waiting period for the license to be valid, and we have to have 2 people witness the official signing when we marry.

You keep it completely private beyond the people who absolutely need to be there, such as witnesses.  That means, no parties, no gift registries, no other trappings of a wedding.  All you do is provide refreshments afterward, for the appropriate time of day, for the witnesses and absolutely necessary people.

mysticl

Maggie0829 said:

netskyblue2 said:

How DO you truly elope, then?  We had to take a witness with us to apply for our license, and they had to sign and swear that they knew us.  Then we have the 3-day waiting period for the license to be valid, and we have to have 2 people witness the official signing when we marry.

Never heard of that before.

But typically the couple goes and gets their license and gets married (the day of witnesses can be anyone...sometimes couples will use the photographer that they hired to take some pictures and maybe a clerk in the courthouse or the photographers assistant, or whomever may be around) without anyone knowing about it.

My previous boss got married in the Caribbean.  Their families thought they were just going on vacation.  The day of their ceremony my boss had flowers delivered to both sets of parents with a note telling them that they got married (surprise!).

Me either.  In the state we got married in no witnesses are required.  Only the officiant signs the license.  

My grandparents eloped, the pastor's wife served as their witness.  

netskyblue2

Yep, here's our requirements for applying for a marriage license:

To apply for a Marriage License in the Recorder’s Office:

	Party A, Party B, and one witness (must be 18 years or older) must appear in person,
	All three must present photo identification (driver’s license or government issued ID),
	$35.00 fee includes a certified copy of the Marriage Certificate.

 

There is a 3-day waiting period before the License is valid and the actual marriage may occur.

And a different county's website specifies:

Witness:  1 person over the age of 18 (with photo ID) who personally knows both parties

mysticl

netskyblue2 said:

Yep, here's our requirements for applying for a marriage license:

To apply for a Marriage License in the Recorder’s Office:

	Party A, Party B, and one witness (must be 18 years or older) must appear in person,
	All three must present photo identification (driver’s license or government issued ID),
	$35.00 fee includes a certified copy of the Marriage Certificate.

 

There is a 3-day waiting period before the License is valid and the actual marriage may occur.

And a different county's website specifies:

Witness:  1 person over the age of 18 (with photo ID) who personally knows both parties

It might be something that is unique to your state.  

If DH and I had to do that with a waiting period before we could get married we probably would not have been able to get a license.  There wasn't anyone who knew both of us who would have been available prior to the day before the wedding.  

tammym1001

@mysticl - Every state and sometimes different counties within the state have different requirements for a marriage license. I think there are quite a few places where the couple needs witnesses. We didn't need a witness to obtain our license, but we do have to have two witnesses plus an officiant sign it when we actually get married.

mysticl

tammym1001 said:

@mysticl - Every state and sometimes different counties within the state have different requirements for a marriage license. I think there are quite a few places where the couple needs witnesses. We didn't need a witness to obtain our license, but we do have to have two witnesses plus an officiant sign it when we actually get married.

I am well aware of that.  I know there are places where people need witnesses to get married.  That is the traditional role of the maid of honor and the best man.  To witness the wedding.  I was actually quite surprised to find out we didn't need them, because up to the point when we researched what we needed for our license I had never heard of not needing witnesses for the wedding.  What I commented on (as did someone else) was having never heard of needing a witness to apply for the license.  Didn't say I didn't believe her just that it's new to me.  And I'm glad it's not the case where we got married because if it had been DH and I would have had a very hard time applying for a license if there was also a waiting period included (which our state didn't have that either).  

schellzinator

We needed a witness to apply for the license - and we needed two witnessesto sign our marriage license once we were married.