Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

magjagfan

I am having my wedding at a private club and cell phone usage is not allowed in terms of phone calls and texting.  Photographs are fine but I had to put this information in my invitation.  I explained that the rules of the club does not permit usage of cell phones or electronic devices.  I hope people are not offended but I will  dmit some of my friends and family are going to feel as if they are missing a limb! Its completely pathetic we have to put this information in an invitation these days.  

PrettyGirlLost

magjagfan said:

I am having my wedding at a private club and cell phone usage is not allowed in terms of phone calls and texting.  Photographs are fine but I had to put this information in my invitation.  I explained that the rules of the club does not permit usage of cell phones or electronic devices.  I hope people are not offended but I will  dmit some of my friends and family are going to feel as if they are missing a limb! Its completely pathetic we have to put this information in an invitation these days.  

Is this club in a middle school or high school?

So if I am a guest at your wedding and a family members dies or my child becomes violently ill, I am not permitted to take the phone call that informs me of these emergencies?  I can't receive the texts?

What if another guest becomes violent and belligerent and starts harming people?  I can't call 911?

Cut me a break already with all of this Nanny State bullshit.  I'm serious, people and places are going overboard.

AddieCake

magjagfan said:

I am having my wedding at a private club and cell phone usage is not allowed in terms of phone calls and texting.  Photographs are fine but I had to put this information in my invitation.  I explained that the rules of the club does not permit usage of cell phones or electronic devices.  I hope people are not offended but I will  dmit some of my friends and family are going to feel as if they are missing a limb! Its completely pathetic we have to put this information in an invitation these days.  

Will there be bouncers there to kick out the offenders?

aduris

It's your day. It will be impossible to please everyone that attends it so do what you honestly want to do that will make you and your fiance happy.

I feel it would be much ruder of your guests to disregard your request than it is of you asking it.
Respect goes both ways and if your guests fail to respect your wishes to putting the technology away for a ceremony that takes about an hour or less then shame on them, not you for asking. 

Perhaps, mention you will be giving the ceremony photo(s) taken by the very expensive professional photographer to each guest as a thank you in your unplug script.

With that said, yes, I have been to wedding were people have taken out tablets, cell phones, Giant camcorders, and cameras with huge flashes and as a guest have found this to be rather annoying. I am short and it is bad enough when you have to look between people to see but when glowing screens are in your face and you are just trying to see the happy couple it ruins the experience.

megsmolnau

For those that have never seen a guest get in the way of a photographer, it was probably because you were not the photographer trying to get the shots that the bride/groom (and guests) want.  I am a photographer (but don't shoot weddings) and my fellow photographers are constantly complaining about missing shots because of guests trying to get the photo with no regard to the photographer that the couples WANT taking photos.  The photographers often post pictures (as a joke and to complain about rude guests) that show a guest doing totally inappropriate things during a ceremony to get a crappy cell phone photo.  

I think it is completely ok to ask guest not to take photos during the ceremony.  This is a sacred time, this is what the day is about, this is what makes you husband and wife legally.  You pay (very good money) for a photographer to document the event with high quality photos.  You will regret missing those important shots due to your guests (it only takes one rude person to ruin it) getting in the way.  Their job is to watch and share the moment, not to document the event.  Allowing them the opportunity to get photos from the photographer means NO ONE loses and even they will appreciate a professional photo much more than their iphone photo (with their lo-fi Instagram filter).

xoBlushingBride

We will be having an unplugged ceremony as well.
Personally for us , our wedding ceremony is something that is intimate between our closest family , friends , and under God. We do not want to have the sound of cellphones going off , shuffling of seats and getting up/down to get pictures, etc.
Also, some officiants (including ours) do not allow photography during the ceremony itself for the same reasons. This would be smart to find out before the wedding day.
We will be having similar wording at our wedding and will also be having a brief moment after(before recession) of everyone at the altar.

But at the end of the day, it's your wedding , and it has nothing to do with common sense. I have been to multiple weddings , and there's always that one person who is standing in the middle of the aisle during 'I do's' while other guests are shuffling to see around them. It is YOUR day.. Do what YOU guys think is right.

megsmolnau

PrettyGirlLost said:

I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

And not only that, but I would still take whatever pictures I wanted to anyways. I know how to turn off the flash and be discreet. I don't like it when Bride's try to micromanage and conyrol their guests by telling them what to wear, what to turn off, etc. You aren't going to be looking at your guests during the ceremony you anyways. . . You will be looking at your FI and your officiant. Once you are pronounced married and you turn and face the audience for the 1st time, who cares if everyone wants to take photos? That's a happy moment that many of your guests will want to capture.

That is just rude Prettygirllost.  It doesn't matter if you know how to turn off the flash, do you realize even why cameras use a flash?  It is because of the darkness in the room and so your phone wont even take good photos without the flash in those conditions, nor will the flash help if you are more than 5 feet away from the subject.  So let's just leave the photo taking up to the professional photographers.  Photographers cost anywhere from $1000-10,000 and you obviously know nothing about photography, or etiquette as you will ignore the brides requests anyway. So before you try to get that blurry photo, think about the people that matter that day (that you are celebrating) and let them get what they paid for: good, professional photos.

wrigleyville

aduris said:

It's your day. It will be impossible to please everyone that attends it so do what you honestly want to do that will make you and your fiance happy.

No. No no no no no no no no NO.

It being "your day" doesn't give you license to be rude to your guests just to keep you and your FI happy.

And for the millionth time, people who are polite don't need a sign reminding them to be polite. People who are rude are going to ignore the sign and do what they want. That's why these stupid signs are completely ridiculous. They do absolutely no good and are a waste of money. They also piss off the guests who know how to act like a fucking adult.

PrettyGirlLost

megsmolnau said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

eg72 said:

I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

And not only that, but I would still take whatever pictures I wanted to anyways. I know how to turn off the flash and be discreet.

I don't like it when Bride's try to micromanage and conyrol their guests by telling them what to wear, what to turn off, etc.

You aren't going to be looking at your guests during the ceremony you anyways. . . You will be looking at your FI and your officiant. Once you are pronounced married and you turn and face the audience for the 1st time, who cares if everyone wants to take photos? That's a happy moment that many of your guests will want to capture.

That is just rude Prettygirllost.  It doesn't matter if you know how to turn off the flash, do you realize even why cameras use a flash?  It is because of the darkness in the room and so your phone wont even take good photos without the flash in those conditions, nor will the flash help if you are more than 5 feet away from the subject.  So let's just leave the photo taking up to the professional photographers.  Photographers cost anywhere from $1000-10,000 and you obviously know nothing about photography, or etiquette as you will ignore the brides requests anyway. So before you try to get that blurry photo, think about the people that matter that day (that you are celebrating) and let them get what they paid for: good, professional photos.

Yes, I'm not a fucking idiot, I know exactly what purpose a flash serves. Did you know that you can take excellent photos w/o a flash as long as there is enough ambient lighting and that not all weddings are in dark, dank churches? I have attended very few wedding ceremonies that were in dim or poorly lit venues. The receptions tend to be darker.

You don't need to be a professional photographer to be able to take good photos, and I am well aware of the fees photographers charge for their services.

And again, it's pretty easy to discreetly take a photo w/o using the flash or blocking the pros and ruining their shots.

JellyBean52513

I'm a little late to this convo, but am I the only one who would love to have people taking pictures at my wedding? I think it'd be so cool to check Instagram right after the ceremony and see a bunch of pictures that friends & family have already uploaded... it's flattering to think people would care about us that much that they'd like to capture the moments as they happen. Also, free photos with potentially cool angles.

PrettyGirlLost

megsmolnau said:

For those that have never seen a guest get in the way of a photographer, it was probably because you were not the photographer trying to get the shots that the bride/groom (and guests) want.

No, it was because no one was stupid enough to get in the way of the professional photographer. No one dared step into the aisle.

brumbe

I have already posted on our wedding facebook page that we will be a technology free ceremony because we want everyone to be able to be in the moment with us while our photographer captures the moments for us.  We had an overall positive response with many people commenting that they wish they had done that themselves.

It is not impolite to request that in our program, on your website, and even talk about it at your shower because the most important part of the day is the actual exchange of vows between the two of you and there should be no compromises made (considering how many we have all made up to this point) for what you want for this moment to be.

Also if your guests are going to be offended by assuming they have no common sense, they clearly have not been to many weddings lately because it seems to be the trend of holding the phone up so no one else can even see the bride.

chibiyui

Ask your officiant to make an announcement at tge beginning, Please keep phones on silent, etc" like at the movies. Other than that, if people want to be rude, they'll be rude.

VirginiaBarrett said:

Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.

If I went to a wedding with a basket for electronics with that sign, I would take a pucture of it and upload it to facebook. #ohhellno

PrettyGirlLost

JellyBean52513 said:

I'm a little late to this convo, but am I the only one who would love to have people taking pictures at my wedding? I think it'd be so cool to check Instagram right after the ceremony and see a bunch of pictures that friends & family have already uploaded... it's flattering to think people would care about us that much that they'd like to capture the moments as they happen. Also, free photos with potentially cool angles.

I'm with you!

Does anyone else think the comments about "crappy cell phone photos" are funny?

How old are your phones?! My phone has a 13 mega pixel camera.

Viczaesar

Trying to control the behavior of your guests - whether that's how much attention they pay to you, what they wear, or whether or not they take pictures at your wedding - is presumptuous and rude.  There are many aspects of your wedding that you can control.  Guest behavior is not one of them, nor should it be.  These people are the guests of honor at your wedding and reception and should be treated as such, not as background props and people to ooh and aaah over you.

skyhigh27

At the end of the day, we all know our guests and should know what is something that is acceptable to ask of them and what is to be expected of them. I have an aunt who is known for standing up in the middle of the ceremony and getting right into the middle of things for other various 'events' throughout a wedding, she believes she's discreet about it, but she's anything but discreet. If you've got one of those, pull them aside prior to the wedding and either explain why you'd like them to refrain from taking photos or seat them in a place where they won't interfere with the photographers or videographers. 

sarawifenow

megsmolnau said:

For those that have never seen a guest get in the way of a photographer, it was probably because you were not the photographer trying to get the shots that the bride/groom (and guests) want.  I am a photographer (but don't shoot weddings) and my fellow photographers are constantly complaining about missing shots because of guests trying to get the photo with no regard to the photographer that the couples WANT taking photos.  The photographers often post pictures (as a joke and to complain about rude guests) that show a guest doing totally inappropriate things during a ceremony to get a crappy cell phone photo.  

I think it is completely ok to ask guest not to take photos during the ceremony.  This is a sacred time, this is what the day is about, this is what makes you husband and wife legally.  You pay (very good money) for a photographer to document the event with high quality photos.  You will regret missing those important shots due to your guests (it only takes one rude person to ruin it) getting in the way.  Their job is to watch and share the moment, not to document the event.  Allowing them the opportunity to get photos from the photographer means NO ONE loses and even they will appreciate a professional photo much more than their iphone photo (with their lo-fi Instagram filter).

That's really unprofessional for the photogs to be posting that.

kathleenanddevon

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html

anjely

Seriously? I can't believe how many people think it's rude to ask guests not to take pictures during the ceremony/reception!

Let me elaborate. No, I do think it's rude to tell guests to unplug completely. Of course they're going to be on their phones all night and texting, taking phone calls if they must. I also don't mind guests taking pictures of themselves and even me on occassion...

BUT our photographer mentioned to us that she actually HAS had great difficulty at some weddings getting the perfect shot of the bride and groom when certain families were photography crazy. One of the things that she said made her feel VERY appreciated and more at ease and confident in her ability to do her job was at one wedding when the bride and groom did make an announcement telling their guests to limit their own pictures as much as possible...

So, I think it depends on your situation. But as far as guest picture-taking goes... bottom line--the bride and groom have probably spent a very substantial amount of money on a professional photographer, so if necessary, I think it's smart to just make a quick mention to guests to not go overboard in the moment.

JellyBean52513

megsmolnau said:

For those that have never seen a guest get in the way of a photographer, it was probably because you were not the photographer trying to get the shots that the bride/groom (and guests) want.  I am a photographer (but don't shoot weddings) and my fellow photographers are constantly complaining about missing shots because of guests trying to get the photo with no regard to the photographer that the couples WANT taking photos.  The photographers often post pictures (as a joke and to complain about rude guests) that show a guest doing totally inappropriate things during a ceremony to get a crappy cell phone photo.  

I think it is completely ok to ask guest not to take photos during the ceremony.  This is a sacred time, this is what the day is about, this is what makes you husband and wife legally.  You pay (very good money) for a photographer to document the event with high quality photos.  You will regret missing those important shots due to your guests (it only takes one rude person to ruin it) getting in the way.  Their job is to watch and share the moment, not to document the event.  Allowing them the opportunity to get photos from the photographer means NO ONE loses and even they will appreciate a professional photo much more than their iphone photo (with their lo-fi Instagram filter).

Newsflash: GUESTS DON'T HAVE JOBS AT YOUR WEDDING. You invited them to come, you accept them to come as they are, as they're presumably people you love and care about. Ugh that is just about the most grating comment I've read in this whole thread. 

megsmolnau said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

And not only that, but I would still take whatever pictures I wanted to anyways. I know how to turn off the flash and be discreet. I don't like it when Bride's try to micromanage and conyrol their guests by telling them what to wear, what to turn off, etc. You aren't going to be looking at your guests during the ceremony you anyways. . . You will be looking at your FI and your officiant. Once you are pronounced married and you turn and face the audience for the 1st time, who cares if everyone wants to take photos? That's a happy moment that many of your guests will want to capture.

That is just rude Prettygirllost.  It doesn't matter if you know how to turn off the flash, do you realize even why cameras use a flash?  It is because of the darkness in the room and so your phone wont even take good photos without the flash in those conditions, nor will the flash help if you are more than 5 feet away from the subject.  So let's just leave the photo taking up to the professional photographers.  Photographers cost anywhere from $1000-10,000 and you obviously know nothing about photography, or etiquette as you will ignore the brides requests anyway. So before you try to get that blurry photo, think about the people that matter that day (that you are celebrating) and let them get what they paid for: good, professional photos.

Another newsflash for you: the entire bolded paragraph is extremely pretentious and condescending. Stop trying to assign jobs or responsibilities to your guests. The "people that matter" are the bride, the groom, and allllllll of their guests that they've invited to spend the day with. Everybody matters equally, everyboday should be treated with respect, and honestly if someone takes a "crappy photo" with their cell phone without the flash on it, how will you even know?? How will it even affect you?? Get over it, seriously. 

MuppetOverlord

So many of the posts on this topic just make me want to vomit.

It's your wedding, but you don't own the day and you don't own your guests.

If contracts forbid phone usage, so be it. But you don't get to control how guests will enjoy your wedding. I don't care how much you poll people, I guarantee that many of them are lying.

Your photographer is going to take mass quantities of photographs. They will get many bad ones. Some will not be useable because they were poorly framed, perhaps a guest was in the way, perhaps a flash went off... that's why they take so many. Of the 1200 shots mine took of my wedding, I kept 400 on disk and I personally used about 40 of them. 

Your guests aren't going to "ruin" your photos.

Viczaesar

anjely said:

Seriously? I can't believe how many people think it's rude to ask guests not to take pictures during the ceremony/reception!

Let me elaborate. No, I do think it's rude to tell guests to unplug completely. Of course they're going to be on their phones all night and texting, taking phone calls if they must. I also don't mind guests taking pictures of themselves and even me on occassion...

BUT our photographer mentioned to us that she actually HAS had great difficulty at some weddings getting the perfect shot of the bride and groom when certain families were photography crazy. One of the things that she said made her feel VERY appreciated and more at ease and confident in her ability to do her job was at one wedding when the bride and groom did make an announcement telling their guests to limit their own pictures as much as possible...

So, I think it depends on your situation. But as far as guest picture-taking goes... bottom line--the bride and groom have probably spent a very substantial amount of money on a professional photographer, so if necessary, I think it's smart to just make a quick mention to guests to not go overboard in the moment.

Immaterial.  You can spend a billion dollars and still not have the right to treat your honored guests like kindergarteners.

MuppetOverlord

It doesn't matter how much is spent on anything. If you think your guests are ruining your wedding, you need to elope.

Craffo

larrygaga said:

I agree with PP's. Also, why do you think everyone is going to be facebooking the event? Are you really cool and popular?

In case you haven't realized, people Facebook and Twitter their own bowel movements(and those of their children)! So, regardless of whether YOU are "cool or very popular", there will be people who post and tweet their way through any event, including your very special event.

PrettyGirlLost

MuppetOverlord said:

So many of the posts on this topic just make me want to vomit.

It's your wedding, but you don't own the day and you don't own your guests.

If contracts forbid phone usage, so be it. But you don't get to control how guests will enjoy your wedding. I don't care how much you poll people, I guarantee that many of them are lying.

Your photographer is going to take mass quantities of photographs. They will get many bad ones. Some will not be useable because they were poorly framed, perhaps a guest was in the way, perhaps a flash went off... that's why they take so many. Of the 1200 shots mine took of my wedding, I kept 400 on disk and I personally used about 40 of them. 

Your guests aren't going to "ruin" your photos.

Most are going to be unuseable because you or your FI is making a horrible face.

PrettyGirlLost

Craffo said:

larrygaga said:

I agree with PP's. Also, why do you think everyone is going to be facebooking the event? Are you really cool and popular?

In case you haven't realized, people Facebook and Twitter their own bowel movements(and those of their children)! So, regardless of whether YOU are "cool or very popular", there will be people who post and tweet their way through any event, including your very special event.

And you asking them not to isn't going to stop them.

PrettyGirlLost

JellyBean52513 said:

megsmolnau said:

For those that have never seen a guest get in the way of a photographer, it was probably because you were not the photographer trying to get the shots that the bride/groom (and guests) want.  I am a photographer (but don't shoot weddings) and my fellow photographers are constantly complaining about missing shots because of guests trying to get the photo with no regard to the photographer that the couples WANT taking photos.  The photographers often post pictures (as a joke and to complain about rude guests) that show a guest doing totally inappropriate things during a ceremony to get a crappy cell phone photo.  

I think it is completely ok to ask guest not to take photos during the ceremony.  This is a sacred time, this is what the day is about, this is what makes you husband and wife legally.  You pay (very good money) for a photographer to document the event with high quality photos.  You will regret missing those important shots due to your guests (it only takes one rude person to ruin it) getting in the way.  Their job is to watch and share the moment, not to document the event.  Allowing them the opportunity to get photos from the photographer means NO ONE loses and even they will appreciate a professional photo much more than their iphone photo (with their lo-fi Instagram filter).

Newsflash: GUESTS DON'T HAVE JOBS AT YOUR WEDDING. You invited them to come, you accept them to come as they are, as they're presumably people you love and care about. Ugh that is just about the most grating comment I've read in this whole thread. 

megsmolnau said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

And not only that, but I would still take whatever pictures I wanted to anyways. I know how to turn off the flash and be discreet. I don't like it when Bride's try to micromanage and conyrol their guests by telling them what to wear, what to turn off, etc. You aren't going to be looking at your guests during the ceremony you anyways. . . You will be looking at your FI and your officiant. Once you are pronounced married and you turn and face the audience for the 1st time, who cares if everyone wants to take photos? That's a happy moment that many of your guests will want to capture.

That is just rude Prettygirllost.  It doesn't matter if you know how to turn off the flash, do you realize even why cameras use a flash?  It is because of the darkness in the room and so your phone wont even take good photos without the flash in those conditions, nor will the flash help if you are more than 5 feet away from the subject.  So let's just leave the photo taking up to the professional photographers.  Photographers cost anywhere from $1000-10,000 and you obviously know nothing about photography, or etiquette as you will ignore the brides requests anyway. So before you try to get that blurry photo, think about the people that matter that day (that you are celebrating) and let them get what they paid for: good, professional photos.

Another newsflash for you: the entire bolded paragraph is extremely pretentious and condescending. Stop trying to assign jobs or responsibilities to your guests. The "people that matter" are the bride, the groom, and allllllll of their guests that they've invited to spend the day with. Everybody matters equally, everyboday should be treated with respect, and honestly if someone takes a "crappy photo" with their cell phone without the flash on it, how will you even know?? How will it even affect you?? Get over it, seriously. 

@JellyBean52513, you clearly don't know what a flash is for. . . .

ffrotor105

Sadly, most DON"T have any common sense when it comes to weddings.  How many times during regular Sunday service does someone's phone ring?  They also lose their minds when it comes to taking photos, especially with iPads…..  I don't think it's rude at all, especially if it's done nicely, to remind people to silence their phones and not take photos during the ceremony.  Perhaps the pastor could make an announcement before the wedding begins.

PrettyGirlLost

ffrotor105 said:

Sadly, most DON"T have any common sense when it comes to weddings.  How many times during regular Sunday service does someone's phone ring?  They also lose their minds when it comes to taking photos, especially with iPads…..  I don't think it's rude at all, especially if it's done nicely, to remind people to silence their phones and not take photos during the ceremony.  Perhaps the pastor could make an announcement before the wedding begins.

Most people actually do have common sense.  I find it really presumptuous that so many of you think so little of your friends and families.

MuppetOverlord

Craffo said:

larrygaga said:

I agree with PP's. Also, why do you think everyone is going to be facebooking the event? Are you really cool and popular?

In case you haven't realized, people Facebook and Twitter their own bowel movements(and those of their children)! So, regardless of whether YOU are "cool or very popular", there will be people who post and tweet their way through any event, including your very special event.

What is the harm in sharing their excitement? I can see the shameful posts now....

"Hey look, we're dancing"
"Cake!"
"The beautiful bride"
"Look at how clever this is!"
"The kids danced themselves asleep!"


Those are ones taken directly off my FB feed from my wedding day.