Wedding Invitations & Paper

Help..Private ceremony party later invitations

My fiancée & I will be married on July 19th in a private ceremony (just the two of us) in Gatlingburg. (10 hrs from home) We're having the party/reception/celebration on October 6th. I need help figuring out how to let people know we will be married in July (I think people would be upset if they found out after the fact) and when should I send invites for the party in October.  I do not want any of the traditional wedding stuff with the exception of the cake and the dress.  We will have pictures of the wedding for everyone to see.  How do I word invitations?  Do I send out all the information on one thing?  Can I send it before we get married? When should I send these invites out? 
marie20167823
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Re: Help..Private ceremony party later invitations

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would send the invite for the party no more then 8 weeks prior.  That is pretty typical for any event.  As for the wording I would do something like the following...

    Karenweil
    and 
    Karenweil's Husband
    are happy to announce
    their marriage
    on Saturday, the nineteenth of July
    Two thousand fourteen
    Gaithersburg, Maryland

    Please join us 
    for a celebration
    on Monday, the sixth of October
    Two thousand fourteen
    at X o'clock

    Venue name
    Venue address

    Or if you decide to send wedding announcements following your wedding in July you could do this...

    Karenweil
    and
    Karenweil's Husband

    Invite you to celebrate their marriage
    Monday, the sixth of October
    Two thousand fourteen
    at X o'clock

    Venue name
    Venue address

  • Thank you Maggie, 
    Can I send an  announcement of the wedding before we get married and on the announcement note that reception information will follow?  Or Save the Dates letting people know we're getting married in July but a invitation to the reception will be coming soon?  

  • Karenweil said:
    Thank you Maggie, 
    Can I send an  announcement of the wedding before we get married and on the announcement note that reception information will follow?  Or Save the Dates letting people know we're getting married in July but a invitation to the reception will be coming soon?  
    Announcements go out after the wedding; it's rude to announce an event to someone who wont be invited to witness that event. Why should people save the date if they aren't invited, you know?

    Just send out announcements a few days after your wedding and then send the party invitation like Maggie suggested. 

    Is there a reason you don't want to host a reception after your private ceremony?
    image
    doeydoSKPM
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Karenweil said:
    Thank you Maggie, 
    Can I send an  announcement of the wedding before we get married and on the announcement note that reception information will follow?  Or Save the Dates letting people know we're getting married in July but a invitation to the reception will be coming soon?  
    I would have the marriage announcement ready to go in the mail the day after you get married.  I wouldn't send anything before because people could get confused that you are actually inviting them to the ceremony.

    I guess you could make the marriage announcement sort of like a party STD.

    You could say something like...

    Karenweil
    and Karenweil's Husband
    were married in a private ceremony
    Saturday, the nineteenth of July
    Two thousand fourteen
    Gaithersburg, Maryland


    Please Save the Date
    for a celebration of our marriage
    Monday, the sixth of October
    Two thousand fourteen
    City, State

    Formal invitation to follow

    Of course you don't have to be so formal with your wording (you can have a bit more fun with this since it isn't an actual invite) but it is just an option.

    spedteach1102
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    You should mail wedding announcements as soon as you are married.  They are very simple, and contain no photos or details about the wedding other than date and place.

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City, State

    You may not have a wedding reception unless it will be held on your wedding day.
    You may have a party to celebrate your marriage any time.  The invitations are like any other party you give.  Since there is plenty of time between your ceremony and your party, I would send the invitations out after you are married,  Most parties do not have a 6 week lead time.
    Do not try to turn this party into a wedding reception. It is NOT your wedding reception.  You gave that up when you decided to have a destination private ceremony.  NO WEDDING DRESS!  If you want formal invitations, this would be appropriate wording:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Alreadymarried
    request the pleasure of your company
    to celebrate their recent marriage
    Date
    time
    Venue
    Address
    City, State


     
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydodolewhipper
  • Karenweil said:
    My fiancée & I will be married on July 19th in a private ceremony (just the two of us) in Gatlingburg. (10 hrs from home) We're having the party/reception/celebration on October 6th. I need help figuring out how to let people know we will be married in July (I think people would be upset if they found out after the fact) and when should I send invites for the party in October.  I do not want any of the traditional wedding stuff with the exception of the cake and the dress.  We will have pictures of the wedding for everyone to see.  How do I word invitations?  Do I send out all the information on one thing?  Can I send it before we get married? When should I send these invites out? 
    I am sorry, but you should NOT wear your wedding dress!  That is for the day you are a bride.  You would look foolish wearing your wedding dress months after you are married.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    You should mail wedding announcements as soon as you are married.  They are very simple, and contain no photos or details about the wedding other than date and place.

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City, State

    You may not have a wedding reception unless it will be held on your wedding day.
    You may have a party to celebrate your marriage any time.
      The invitations are like any other party you give.  Since there is plenty of time between your ceremony and your party, I would send the invitations out after you are married,  Most parties do not have a 6 week lead time.
    Do not try to turn this party into a wedding reception.  If you want formal invitations, this would be appropriate wording:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Alreadymarried
    request the pleasure of your company
    to celebrate their recent marriage
    Date
    time
    Venue
    Address
    City, State


     
    She specifically said that this party/reception/celebration (note how she used all three to describe it) will not have any of the traditional wedding aspects except for a cake and a dress.  So try not to jump to conclusions that she is trying to turn this into a wedding reception.

    spedteach1102cupcait927JennyColadaKnottie37373131
  • The dress is inappropriate.  I am not jumping to conclusions on this.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • Thank You, I like this idea and your wording.
  • Your plans sound fine.  I'm glad you aren't going to be wearing a big, pouffy ball gown!  Enjoy your party!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • Dear people who post on other people posts reprimanding people on etiquette and your opinions,  Please do so in a non judgmental way and try not to be so critical.  This is my first post and I'm a little disheartened by the harsh judgments on wording or choices I've made.  If you don't agree with something their is always a better way to state your opinion without making the other person feel like S##t for those choices.  Before assuming I want to wear a big gown and telling me NOT to wear my dress because I would look foolish ask for a little more information.  You could have easily said..... Typically wedding dresses are not worn at the post wedding ceremony or you may wear the same dress if its a casual dress.  As for me NOT turning it into a reception I'm not sure how to turn it into a reception if I'm not having the traditional wedding stuff.  I will have wedding pictures there so I hope that's not too reception like.  I did gain some good information from this post.. thank you Maggie0829
    marie20167823KwajKenDeanKnottie37373131
  • I'm a private person and do not like to be the center of attention which is one reason why we're having a private ceremony.  The wedding will be in Gatlinburg and we live in Louisiana.  I guess it's a destination wedding and not an elopement because it's not a secret.  We were originally going to get married OCT 6 so we've already placed a deposit on the place and would lose it if we cancelled.  So we figured we would just throw a party that day.  I can't move t up August or September because it's the beginning of the school year and VERY hectic time.  At this time only a few close friends know we're doing this but I feel we need to let people know before the fact, especially family, because feeling will be hurt if they find out after the fact.  Should I just let word of mouth spread it instead of sending out something in the mail before the fact.  I know the traditional etiquette of it all but feel that the traditional stuff can't apply because I'm not having a traditional type of wedding.  Not sure if that makes since or not.  
    Knottie37373131
  • How do you reply directly under someones comment?  Do you copy and paste it?  I'm new to this site.
  • CMGragain said:
    The dress is inappropriate.  I am not jumping to conclusions on this.
    Eh.  As long as she's not re-enacting the ceremony, who cares if she wants to wear her dress?  Some people may actually want to see it.
    KwajKenDeanKnottie37373131
  • Karenweil said:
    How do you reply directly under someones comment?  Do you copy and paste it?  I'm new to this site.
    You hit the "quote" button under that comment.
    doeydo
  • Karenweil said:
    I'm a private person and do not like to be the center of attention which is one reason why we're having a private ceremony.  The wedding will be in Gatlinburg and we live in Louisiana.  I guess it's a destination wedding and not an elopement because it's not a secret.  We were originally going to get married OCT 6 so we've already placed a deposit on the place and would lose it if we cancelled.  So we figured we would just throw a party that day.  I can't move t up August or September because it's the beginning of the school year and VERY hectic time.  At this time only a few close friends know we're doing this but I feel we need to let people know before the fact, especially family, because feeling will be hurt if they find out after the fact.  Should I just let word of mouth spread it instead of sending out something in the mail before the fact.  I know the traditional etiquette of it all but feel that the traditional stuff can't apply because I'm not having a traditional type of wedding.  Not sure if that makes since or not.  
    Don't send something before the fact; people will be confused about whether they are invited to the ceremony or not.  Just let it spread by word of mouth that you are having a private ceremony this summer and will be sending out invites for a separate celebration after the fact.
    spedteach1102
  • OP, you are new to The Knot.  You are very welcome, here, and we are happy to help you.  Please remember that we can only go by what you post.  You did post that you were planning to wear your wedding dress several months after your ceremony.  You did not give details. If you had, I would not have posted as I did.There is nothing wrong with your plans.
    There have been hundreds of brides on The Knot who do plan a re-do reception, even a PPD (fake re-do wedding) and ask for help.  These ladies are often angry that most Knotties find their plans inappropriate.  I am glad to learn that you are not one of them, but, believe me, you are a refreshing exception!
    The Knot is known for blunt honestly.  I will never intentionally try to hurt anyone, but I will tell the truth.  I am one of the long time Knottie regulars, and my best advice is usually about wording invitations, which is what you asked about.
    I am sorry that you were unhappy with my response.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • Karenweil said:
    How do you reply directly under someones comment?  Do you copy and paste it?  I'm new to this site.
    You hit the "quote" button under that comment.

  • Karenweil said:
    I'm a private person and do not like to be the center of attention which is one reason why we're having a private ceremony.  The wedding will be in Gatlinburg and we live in Louisiana.  I guess it's a destination wedding and not an elopement because it's not a secret.  We were originally going to get married OCT 6 so we've already placed a deposit on the place and would lose it if we cancelled.  So we figured we would just throw a party that day.  I can't move t up August or September because it's the beginning of the school year and VERY hectic time.  At this time only a few close friends know we're doing this but I feel we need to let people know before the fact, especially family, because feeling will be hurt if they find out after the fact.  Should I just let word of mouth spread it instead of sending out something in the mail before the fact.  I know the traditional etiquette of it all but feel that the traditional stuff can't apply because I'm not having a traditional type of wedding.  Not sure if that makes since or not.  
    Don't send something before the fact; people will be confused about whether they are invited to the ceremony or not.  Just let it spread by word of mouth that you are having a private ceremony this summer and will be sending out invites for a separate celebration after the fact.

    Thank you...I think I will go ahead and do the word of mouth route & then send out the announcements.  I'll have them all done and arrange for someone to mail them on the 20th. 
    CMGragain
  •     Put me in the camp of not caring if people want to wear their wedding dress for their AHR/celebration party. Personally, one of the best parts of a wedding is the dress and I would love to see it! 

       Especially since it's just the dress you wore for your wedding, not the typical poofy wedding dress. At least it doesn't sound like it from your description. I feel like it's a victim less crime since you aren't trying to re-enact your wedding. 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    There is nothing wrong with having cake and wearing your dress. Even if it were a poofy wedding dress, who cares. It's not against etiquette to wear an item of clothing you own to a party you are throwing. Like @lolo883 said, if you want to wear it to take out the trash, go for it. 

    I think people get too caught up in cake cutting and dress wearing equal wedding. In my circle we have cake for everything, and the guest of honor usually cuts it. Does that make it a wedding, no.
    image
    image

    image


    grumbledore
  • @laurynm84 I think you will find that your opinion is in the minority here on The Knot.  The formal wedding gown is for the ceremony and wedding reception.  For someone to wear the traditional, pouffy, white wedding gown to a party several weeks after the wedding is just to close to a PPD for comfort.
    The OP has explained that she is not wearing a traditional wedding gown, so this is not a problem for her.  I would hate for other brides to see your advise and embarrass themselves by dressing inappropriately for a celebration party.  They would be side-eyed for doing this.
    Etiquette =/=personal opinion.  Miss Manners would be horrified.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    laurynm84 said:
    There is nothing wrong with having cake and wearing your dress. Even if it were a poofy wedding dress, who cares. It's not against etiquette to wear an item of clothing you own to a party you are throwing. Like @lolo883 said, if you want to wear it to take out the trash, go for it. 

    I think people get too caught up in cake cutting and dress wearing equal wedding. In my circle we have cake for everything, and the guest of honor usually cuts it. Does that make it a wedding, no.
    It's not appropriate to mislead guests into thinking they are at a wedding when they are not, and unfortunately, wedding gowns, cakes, and so on are symbols of weddings-not at-home celebrations.  Just as you wouldn't wear shorts and T-shirts to formal events, you don't wear wedding dresses to what is not a wedding.   Same thing with wedding cakes and so on.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I really doubt a wedding dress and a tiered cake (these can be at many events not just weddings) would lead people to believe that they are at a wedding when a ceremony is not even taking place.

    huskypuppy14cupcait927marie20167823tcnoble
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I really doubt a wedding dress and a tiered cake (these can be at many events not just weddings) would lead people to believe that they are at a wedding when a ceremony is not even taking place.
    You may doubt that, but some people may get the idea that they're at a wedding reception when they're not.
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