Things your FI does that makes you stabby

themuffinman16

  FI does this one thing that drives me absolutely mad.  I don't know how to break him of it.  He is so inconsiderate when I am sleeping.  I am the type of person that can't handle lurking when I am sleeping.  You can make noise in the kitchen, watch tv, whatever... just don't hover over me when I am sleeping.  I went to bed really early for me, because I have been extremely sleep deprived... wedding is almost 100 days away  (so my body thinks i can be doing so many things more constructive than sleeping. Lol). FI came in SUPER late last night and he was next to me, in bed, just typing something into his phone. I tried to ignore this, but he was seriously doing this for an hour. I told hIm I hope his waterproof case would protect his phone from where I was considering shoving it (a little bitchy without sleep).  So I have been up since 5 am. 

  Usually FI is terrible with the snooze button. THAT DRIVES ME TO DISTRACTION. He lets it go off, without exaggeration for 1-2 hours. My next deterrent might be a spray bottle or an air horn to help him wake up. I have mentioned this to FI SEVERAL times, but he says he cannot hear it and it incorporates into his dreams.  I work a night job, I usually don't need to wake up until 10.  To have that alarm clock go off at 7 and keep going off, intermittently, until 9, makes me want to punt a goldfish.  There's a chance sleep deprivation has manifested into an all out bitchfest.  Lmao... sorry. 

    Ladies, what's the one thing about your FI that makes you stabby?

AddieCake

I am a freakishly light sleeper and do not function well w/o sufficient sleep, so those things would annoy the fuck out of me, too. I have to sleep with earplugs because of my husband's snoring. Have you tried that?

doeydo

Letting the alarm/snooze keep going on is really inconsiderate of him, IMO. 
Right now I can't think of any stab-worthy things my FI does except for snoring.  I wear these green earplugs that are pretty good, but sometimes I have to give him a little elbow nudge if he gets too loud.

Artemischief

FI always seems to miss the trashcan with his finger and toe nail clippings, especially right after I vacuum. It drives me nuts.

FiancB

Every day FI comes home from work, strips down to his boxers and tee shirt, and leaves all the clothes on the back of the couch. I refuse to put them away- I'll clean everything else but leave that and it looks ridiculous as there's always a big pile of clothes. 

If he wants a tidy house though he's just going to have to be a big boy and put his damn clothes away. I'm at home a lot so I don't mind doing most of the upkeep, but I draw the line at picking up after him. Hoping when we move the setup will be such that the temptation will be removed to do that. If not, they might end up draped over the TV where they will get his attention. 

chibiyui

When I work a night shift, FI will get takeout. He will leave the packages, empty, on the counter. 2 ft from the trashcan. He also does this with his muffin container, Nesquik, and basically any thing else he emptys. 

He wonders why I don't do dishes immediately. 

ETA: Oh. We divide house chores. He does Laundry. He does not consider folding laundry to be part of doing the laundry. So I come home and my clothes are piled on top of dryer, not folded. 

I do my own laundry now. 

SmileDamnit

FI is also a snorer and it caused me many an hour of sleep loss. I sleep with earplugs (the 33 db ones) and we have 2 white noise machines and I can still hear him sometimes. He recently started sleeping with a mouth guard for grinding and we've found a wonderful side effect is that it helps cut down on the level of snore. Thank the Lord.

Beside that, his grooming routine makes me more than a little stubby. I have shaving cream in the shower for me and he has shaving cream under the bathroom sink for him, yet he always takes the one out of the shower and doesn't put it back. Doesn't sound stab worthy, I know…unless it's 5:30 in the morning and I dragging my half asleep frozen & wet self across the bathroom to retrieve it so I can shave my damn legs. 

themuffinman16

It isn't so much the sound as it is the constant change of light flashing on the screen that wakes me up. And I can't wear earplugs for some reason, they hurt my ears when I lay on them. But yes, I agree, it is really inconsiderate.  He doesn' think his nighttime or morning routines are inconsiderate, because his rationale is he is a sound sleeper, and if it does not wake him, it shouldn't wake anyone else.  To say FI is a sound sleeper in an understatement, he could probably sleep through someone amputating his left arm. To let you know this is not an exaggeration, my FI slept through the upstairs neighbor moving out at 8am!  He had no idea,.  10 people came in, and helped our upstairs neighbor move his furniture. Are you kidding me? Lol

Simky906

@themuffinman16 FI used to be the same way with his alarm and it drove me insane! Especially since I become the worlds crankiest person if I don't get good sleep and I can't fall back asleep when I know the alarm is going to go off again. It took awhile, but I finally got through to him as to how his habits were negatively affecting me and we instituted a new rule. FI can hit his snooze button twice- after that I have the right to physically evict him from the bed. He's gotten much better about it. Now the only habit that bugs me is that he does the whole pile of clothes thing in the living room. It's usually on nights where he stayed up later than me so he undresses out there so he doesn't wake me up. But then the clothes just stay there until laundry ETA: TK ate my paragraphs.

lyndausvi

I have a lot today.

Dishes -  Just doesn't do them.  On the rare occasion he does, I have to re-do them.   Oh and we have another dishwasher, besides me, but he doesn't even bother to put them in either.

Instructions - doesn't bother to read them, then gets annoyed and frustrated that a project takes 5 times longer then necessary.

Laundry - His definition of "laundry" is overstuffing the washer, turning it on.   That's it.   Never bothers to continue the process.  He often doesn't bother to tell me either.  When I go to do wash on Saturdays I end up finding wash in the washer for lord knows how long.  Which ends up having to be rewashed because either it's been in there so long it smells or its was so overstuffed it wasn't washed properly.    

GRRR

ETA - Sadly he is the poster boy of a lot of male orientated stereotypes. 

KeptInStitches

He can be chronologically challenged (read: perpetually late) and he's not always up on my time frame for getting things done.

singinchick13

Puts garbage in his pockets. CONSTANTLY! This drives me nuts. Things like candy bar wrappers, cigarette pack wrappers/foils, little packages from his chewable tums that he eats like candy. Pretty much if it fits in his pocket it's going in there. Even when there is a trash can like 10-20 feet away, which is pretty much all the time. Seriously, that's just fuckin' lazy.

He also takes his socks/clothes off in various parts of the house and leaves them there. Even when people come over. This morning he was running around frantic when he had to leave for work because he couldn't find his keys. Couldn't remember where he put them last night....maybe if he put them AWAY, or had a place for them like most people do that wouldn't happen....drives me crazy.

mbross3

BF unplugs everything. EVERYTHING. He works for a sustainable energy company and he's always been super conscious of his energy usage. I always had a few surge protectors and would turn them off when I remembered, but literally the biggest adjustment I had to make was realizing that everything would always be unplugged if we weren't currently using it. Basically everything is connected to surge protectors which are always off. It's actually saved me hundreds of dollars in electric bills (no joke) but I am still not used to it. Our biggest fight since we moved in together was over the damn coffee maker. I love coffee and BF never, ever drinks it and before we started dating he had never even made coffee once! Anyway, I get up early to get extra study time (so about 5:30 every morning) and I set my coffee maker to automatically go on and start brewing, except BF would go through the house and unplug everything the night before!! Which meant that I would come downstairs to find a cold coffee pot. We've since compromised and the coffee maker is the only thing that stays plugged in over night (except obviously the fridge is always plugged in)!

@Themuffinman16 have you ever tried a vibrating alarm? For your SO? I get up a few hours before BF everyday and I always felt bad that my alarm would go off and wake him up too (he's a super light sleeper). So I bought a vibrating alarm, it goes on my wrist and it vibrates to wake me up--BF never notices!

jenna8984

We have an old kitchen with barely any countertop, so after work each day FI comes home and eats peanut butter toast while standing over the stove. Every night I go to make dinner and my stove is covered in crumbs. Never fail. 

Also he doesn't understand my wedding budget for each item. He basically told me to plan it and then he will write his check for half at the end (he knows it'll be within $500 of XX) but he doesn't know how it's all broken down. So I will bust my ass looking all over for some particular decoration for $10 and if I complain like "oh this website is sold out, the other ones I'm finding are $30" he's like "oh that's it? You're worried about $30? That's nothing, just buy it". It drives me BSC because I'm like nooooo that's not the budget for that item! He just sees the one individual item and I'm like if you did that for everything, this wedding would cost us double, we have to stick to my numbers! He just doesn't get that everything adds up lol 

Cookie Pusher

I know most people think this is incredibly sweet, but it annoys the bejesus out of me. Every morning, FI insists on kissing me goodbye before he leaves for work. He leaves about 45 minutes before I get up for work, and he ends up waking me up 99% of the time. Because he MUST pull the covers down (I bury myself in the comforter) and MOVE MY HEAD so he can kiss me on the mouth. Like, dude, really?! I've warned him before that I hate having my face touched when I'm sleeping (too many bad memories of waking up to one of my younger siblings with their fingers in my nose/ears/mouth/eyes), and my first instinct when I feel something on my face is to flail my arms. I don't know how many times I've punched him in the face now, but he has continued to do this. For over 12 years. And I invariably have difficulty falling back asleep after he wakes me up so I'm a crank-monster at work all morning. Grr...

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm pretty lucky with FI because he's a clean freak - does ALL the dishes (even the pots and pans after I cook), cleans up his own laundry, etc... but the problem is when he's TOO clean and puts my stuff "away" aka hides it. I lose so much time in the morning trying to find my shoes, my watch, the blender, etc. etc. because he put them "away" where I don't know to look for them. And he does the "unplug all the things" thing too... so my laptop and electric toothbrush are always, always dead.

afox007

This came at a great time. I am laying in bed angry and hungover because FI felt the need to wake me up to get the phone number for the mom of the kid FSS had a sleepover with. It wouldn't be that hard to look through my phone for her number himself. If I get out of bed there is zero chance of going back to sleep yet he does shit like this all the time, he gets frustrated that he can't find something and I have to wake up to do it for him.

themuffinman16

@mbross3 , his phone vibrates as well as rings and rings and rings.  It's like living in L.A. First comes the air raid horn, then the earthquake, then every so often, you can expect the aftershock....... aghhhh! STABBY!

wandajune6

He's much cleaner than I am so I can't comment.

What pisses me off the most is how willing he is to help everyone with everything. I love that about him- but it drives me batty when it comes at the expense at doing our stuff. He's spending today un-fucking up his friend's truck- when we have a ton of work that we need to get done ASAP. He's amazing with cars and saving his friend a ton of money but we get left in a lurch.

It would bother me less if people appreciated the effort but they rarely do. FI has spent 5 hours so far and still isn't done. I deliver a part for them and I'm asked to grab lunch- no big deal- but his buddy doesn't even offer to pay for any of it. Wtf?!

jdluvr06

My FI thinks he is handy and will insist on trying to fix things himself before we call someone. The problem? He can't tell a hammer from a screwdriver (exaggerating) and usually ends up making things worse (not exaggerating) before I can get someone in there to fix it. Also if he has seen a movie several times he will say the lines along with the movie. That is just super annoying. I don't have any of the morning problems you ladies do because we get up at the same time.

jennyleigh16

My FI is big into building radio control vehicles. Not the cheapy kid versions but the high end, adult versions. It makes him happy and I generally don't mind but the mess! When he's in the middle of a build he inevitably ends up taking over the coffee table in the living room, in front of the tv, glued to whatever sports event is on that day. Nevermind that he has a workshop in the basement with the only other tv in the house. He also does a lot of soldering and painting, often with spray paint, and the smells just give me an instant headache. 

He also has a habit of making little comments about all the shows I follow (reality tv: "Oh that's so scripted", drama shows: "that would never happen") so I don't even try to watch my shows when he's around. As a result we watch primarily sports/ home improvement shows that he's into. I can deal, but sometimes it doesn't seem fair and gets annoying. 

AzAnnie

My FI will leave crap all over the counter for weeks, but God forbid if you leave a candy wrapper in his truck!

He also chews ice and that drives me crazy!

blabla89

I get pretty stabby whenever FI and I are talking and I mention a person/place/thing that he isn't familiar with, because he will flatly say "I don't know who/what/where that is." I know he doesn't mean to sound disinterested but it makes me want to not talk to him. It would be received much better if he could say, "Who/what is that?"

We don't live together yet so I'm sure there will be plenty of little things that make me stabby when we do get married and live together, and I will probably do some things to drive him crazy too.

Jells2dot0

I have a few...

As most of you know, I've been on the world's longest business trip. So, i'm only home on the weekends, sometimes for only 24 hours, and sometimes not at all. For some reason, DH refuses to keep the house clean. He expects that I'll do it when I get home. I realize that I have housekeeping clean for me everyday, but when I only have one day off, after having driven 2 hours, after having gotten up at 2:30am every day, i'm pretty certain I do not want to clean.

Dishes- when he is done with his meal, he'll put his dishes in the sink. With the napkin on it. And then he'll run the faucet and the napkin gets wet. So, it just sits there, wet and in the sink. The trash can is in the cabinet right below the sink. Put your damn trash there!!!

Illness- even when I'm sick or injured, I still have to make dinner. I was getting knee injections for a bit, so I'd come home from the doctor and lay down to stay off of my leg/knee. He'd then get home and ask what I wanted to do about dinner. We'd usually agree it was a frozen pizza kinda night and then he'd ask when I was going to turn on the oven!! SMH

Peaseblossom55

FI will put dishes on the counter when he is done with them. not in the sink or in the dishwasher it gets annoying.  FI will leave clothes out on top of dressers in stead of putting them away, ZOMG just put them in the drawers and stop leaving them out!! I also ask FI if he needs anything when I go shopping he says no, but the next day he will run out to the grocery store to get what he needs,  and I'm like I just offered to get you stuff yesterday!!! 

JCbride2015

Jells2dot0 said:

...  Dishes- when he is done with his meal, he'll put his dishes in the sink. With the napkin on it. And then he'll run the faucet and the napkin gets wet. So, it just sits there, wet and in the sink. The trash can is in the cabinet right below the sink. Put your damn trash there!!! ....

So much this!  Fi got the habit from his mom.  For whatever reason, she and the rest of the family throw all their little kitchen trash into the sink throughout the day.  Like paper napkins, little plastic wrappers, plastic utensils.  Then at the end of the night as she is washing dishes, she throws all the [now wet and covered with bits of food] trash into the trash can.  They also throw food in there and they don't have a disposal, so she is always scraping food and trash out of the sink into the trash can.  Why why why?

Fi is great about picking up when I ask him to, but if I don't specifically ask, it doesn't get done.  So he never has the initiative to empty the bathroom trash when it gets full, start a load of laundry when the hamper is full, or sort through the mail.  He's also not great about picking up after himself throughout the day, so things will pile up until I get annoyed and ask him to pick up, then we have a mini cleaning marathon.

Oh and the little habit that drives me bonkers.  Fi hates to use the TP from the roll, he thinks it's easier to hold the roll in his hand.  So he takes the TP off the roll to use it.  Then he forgets to put it back on the roll and leaves it on the bathroom counter or the back of the toilet.  Sometimes he walks away from the toilet and leaves it elsewhere in the bathroom.  So I go to use the toilet, think we have no TP, replace the roll, and then find the roll somewhere random.

SBmini

Waiting until 2 weeks before the wedding to ask his friends to be ushers and neglecting to tell his mom that we didn't want everything on the alcohol list she was going off of so now she needs to exchange a bunch of shit. 

He's so indecisive that sometimes stuff just doesn't get done. We're talking hours of research for a hotel room. Weeks or months for any major purchase. He was talking about getting a shot gun for months- he picked it out weeks ago- then it took him another two or three weeks to figure out where to buy it from. Just but it already!

themuffinman16

@SBmini I could not agree with you more. Fi got a great job a few years back, and at that time, he did not have a car. It was so annoying. And instead of taking the bus, he would bum rides off of everyone else.
I got so sick of being in my car for so long to pick him up to go somewhere. He just could not decide on which car he wanted, then new models would come out, and he'd decide he didn't want the vehicle he originally decided on. This went on for two years. I had enough, so I stopped picking him up, If we had to go to a party, he had to find a ride to meet me there. . He finally decided on a car two weeks after I did that. Lol.

beharrington

AzAnnie said:

My FI will leave crap all over the counter for weeks, but God forbid if you leave a candy wrapper in his truck!

So much this.  I used DH's car for a week and made sure to clean up at the end of every day.  Then I'd walk into the house and he'd have left stuff all over the counters.  Made me want to go put it all in his car.

DH runs on "Asian time" and it makes me nuts.  Our poor (future) kids are never going to be anywhere on time.  I have narcolepsy and it's hard to get out the door sometimes.  It makes me insane when I'm the one ready to go and he's putting around.  Waiting for him makes me anxious and then I want a nap....

climbingsingle

It takes him longer to leave the house/get ready. I have like zero patience so it drives me crazy. And he's usually wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I don't understand what takes him so long. 

He also always willing to help others that and delays us in doing things. People come to him all the time to help/fix things and he never says no. 

And some people will probably see this as sweet, but it gets annoying. I can't get dressed without him ALL OVER ME. You'd think he was a 15 year old boy sometimes. 

cupcait927

FI asks me a million questions. Everything is a question. Some days I feel like I have a three year old at home because of all the questions all. day. long. He also will verify information over and over again. Like if I tell him on Wednesday that we're going out to dinner on Saturday, he will confirm our plans every day leading up to Saturday and then Saturday morning be like "So what are we doing today?" Drives me absolutely insane. I know some of it has to do with anxiety but dude, seriously, you don't need to ask me a million questions. I trust him to make decisions on his own but he just can't.

He also has this jaw popping thing going on when he eats that will make me a little stabby, particularly if I'm overly tired or already stressed out about something else.